"SubGenius" spotted on pink game server

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jun 7, 2003 1:59 PM

In article <20030607000444.24635.00000222@mb-m04.aol.com>, Zosodada
<zosodada@aol.com> wrote:

> o, i thought "major 'default' pinkass" said his ass was beaten pink by a guy
> with blue balls and bugs. That pissed him off so he pulled the "subbier than
> thou" "routine" on him by asking him who "the" [sic] sacred scribe is and
> claimed to "follow [i.e., "stalk"] 'Bob'" with a "weapon of the SuGenius
> [sic]". . .
>
> Since "Major Pinkass" does sound a bit like someone on the recieving end of a
> good spanking, I suggest we brand him with the name he's already given himself
> in the preceeding post: "Simply Default"!
>
> <<(My. . . name was simply "Default")>>

Hey, you guys, lay off Jarto! He's my good buddy! He actually DOES
stuff, REAL stuff, BESIDES great badart and audio! (Which I also did
get from you, Zosodada, in fact I reposted some to a.b.s..)

And furthermore we ALL sounded overeager during our first years under
"Bob's" jackboot! Nenslo might not remember, because his first year as
a SubGenius was in 1925 or something like that.

I'm afraid, Jarto, that Nenslo actually DOES name the dumbasses around
here... and as you can tell, it's a THANKLESS chore. Many people HATE
Nenslo, Nenslo perhaps most of all. AND NO WONDER -- HE'S ALMOST ALWAYS
RIGHT! That's the most horrible, mind-wrecking thing about it. While
admittedly the NASTIEST and MOST hypocritical of all critics, he is yet
GENERALLY CORRECT. This is an awful fact that many of us have had to
come to grips with.

I have felt the lash of the Scorn of Nenslo more times than I can
count. (Mostly for dumbassery.) I try to deal with the fact that he was
right, and that he is a monster, and move on, perhaps learning from the
process, perhaps not. But why would anyone put up with a monster, even
if it is almost always right? I can't speak for anyone else, but in my
case, it's because Nenslo is not only an oracular monster, he's one of
my personal favorite cartoonists and writers of all time, a truly GREAT
as in "VERY TALENTED" artist all around, and, actually, also a very
generous and patient host! BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

This Church of the SubGenius thing is SO CRAZY that the people in it
display SEEMINGLY CONTRADICTORY TRAITS! Imagine that. It's almost like
they were complex characters and not just stereotypes.

Nenslo is able to focus with evil laser-like precision on your obvious
eagerness and youth, and dumbassery, in the midst of this gang of the
terminally jaded old bastards and bastardesses, and to use it in making
a stereotype cartoon of a "Bobbie". I suppose he is mean because he is
an outcast from society.

Nenslo however is not trying to do the same things I am trying to do,
and so does not focus with laser-like precision, as I do, on the fact
that you actually get off your ass and do chores that are useful
outside of all this imaginary newsgroup make-believe world of typed
signals. Well, perhaps not very far outside, but far enough into the
real world that it helps ME to make a BUCK. A SLIM SLIM DIME that
really, honestly, in the hard physical universe of laws and trademarks,
is also for J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.

And that BUCK, or pound, or ruple, is where all the bullshit STOPS and
the HOLY MAGIC of the SALES MOMENT continues, the SALES OUTREACH. That
buck means a LOT to me.

"BOB" TAUGHT ME THE VALUE OF THAT DOLLAR. Within that DOLLAR is the
real future of the SubGenius Race. For that EVIL BUCK, that FILTHY
LUCRE is the TRUE "AMMO" in any social endeavor, from novelty sales to
world conquest. Revolution comes out of the bottom of a checking
account. Me, I'm just trying to be able to afford to mail a paper Stark
Fist. To get Art off the computer, and back into the stack of reading
matter in the bathroom, where it belongs.

Getting scorn heaped on you by Nenslo? Welcome to alt.slack. Learn to
enjoy it, even to mine scorn for useful knowledge. But Nenslo, like me,
is just another student. The only Master here is "Bob."

And our Master only teaches ONE THING:

"FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE."

That is the ONE TRUE PHILOSOPHY that you can SURVIVE by.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)

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Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>

I admit it. He is a stupidly good cartoonist. And a fricking good
ranter. Live with Nenslo, not by him.
---
Jarto
"I'll not drink to that!" - Stang
"SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

What a couple of pussies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

<< Hey, you guys, lay off Jarto! >>

Hey -- he tried to spank me first, Daddy!

I think he was offended by my naughty-poo-poo name calling of ICESHITE, whom I
worry Master Jarto might be confusing for a role model.

<< Nenslo is not only an oracular monster, he's one of
my personal favorite cartoonists and writers of all time, a truly GREAT as in
"VERY TALENTED" artist all around, and, actually, also a very generous and
patient host! BELIEVE IT OR NOT. >>

Nenslo is probably one of the five or six SubG's most likely to have a coffee
table art book published featuring his work 25 years after his death. Nenslo
puts the genius into the SubGenius. I know that's corny, but hey -- I just woke
up and I have a headache.

As long as Jarto is doing chores I think he should be made to wash Nenslo's
dirty tube socks and stinky underwears, if only in the online abusenet
psychosphere; if only for a moment. His fascist urge to put some gamer-schmoe
to a spot-check interrogation regarding his mis/take on "official churchly
dogma" deserves that, at least.

The syndrome reminds me of something I witnessed in another universe a long
time ago: a lost waif wandered upon a stash of
fluggybunnyrainbowstarhopperwitchypoopaganpie material online. Three days
later she was an "official pagan." She suddenly became so official, in fact,
that she took it upon herself to determine and define "official
fluggybunnyrainbowstarhopperwitchypoopaganpie dogma" to everyone she met based
upon the material she found and studied during the preceeding three days.

Furthermore, she took it upon herself to design a "test" that she claimed would
determine who was, or was not, a "TRUE PAGAN WITCH" which consisted of such
questions as "what is your favorite stone?" (would Charlie Watts be a suitable
answer?); "what color are houses in Massachusets?"; and "who is the god of
Halloween" (her self-supplied answer: "'Sam Hain' the Celtic God of [something
rumored on a xn hate tract]").

In any case, master Jarto's audio-visual work is indeed a commendable
undertaking; as is your fatherly patience and wisdom.

-- but back to business! I say ye gives me permission use these latest tracks
on a product which I will factor and supply to the Foundation(tm); then we all
sell 'em* and get rich. Consult the lawyers and let me know if they give me the
go ahead. Only then to the monkeys and robots at the manufacturing plant go to
work. (Yeah I know that's a shaky deal, but its 100% better than the one you
got from Thall & Dean! heheh.)

* The FULL, FAT, EXTENDED versions, not the 128k shrinky-dinks.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: Jarto <sjSPAMj@hollwNOTith.fsnWELCOMEet.co.uk>

You misunderstand my friend. The holier-than-thou thing, was, as I
expected, misconstrued, but then I couldn't be assed to write it.
Hell, cut me some slack! My idea was to see if he was realy was a
SubGenius, or just some pink who came up with the name cos it sounded
cool. It was not the "fascist urge". That is certainly not my type
of thinking. Iam not a white supermacist. It was simply a shock to
me, when he connected to the server, but no, that's OK, I have pretty
big space put aside for dealing with scorn, and I'll use it for future
reference, "Zoso"

"Zoso" huh? Jimmy Page's symbol.
---
Jarto
"I'll not drink to that!" - Stang
"SLACK through HATE is not an unreasonable expectation."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

Slack cut, but fascism doesn't always go hand-in-hand with white supremacy.
Any dogmatically prescribed and rigid modes of thought can be taken to a
fascist extreme when enforced by a group or individual that might take it upon
themselves to act as THE MAN -- the ENFORCER of arbitrairily imposed "norms"
upon those who would deviate from the "recommended" agenda.

Imagine, for example, a state in which a group of people who dress in clown
costumes decide that their clown clothes are better/more correct/the only one
true way to dress. They then take it upon themselves to force everyone else to
also dress in clown gear and kidnap those who dress differently -- forcing them
to don big shoes and red rubber noses. this would be clown fascism.

In life you'll meet hippie fascists; eco-fascists; pro- or anti-smoking
fascists; vegetarian fascists; art fascists. . . the list goes on and on, it
even includes SubG fascists.

If there's a soapbox to gather around, there's gonna be fascist-minded
individuals 9who may or may not be "pink" or "normal") who are just wanting to
bash other folks over the head with the soapbox -- kind of like that
monolith-thingy in 2001: A Space Odessy that makes the monkeys throw their
bones at it and each other.

Re.: "Zoso" -- long story, the handle evolved from Soso to the Z after losing
the original email address due to my own fascist bad tempers -- the Roman blood
runs deep -- due to arguments with AOL moderator fascists (censors who can't
even read or write at least halfway decently! censors who work for free just
because they love to cop people about and act like THE MAN!). Hopefully the
"Z" will carry an automatic hallucinatory afterimage that may remind some
readers of Austin Osman Spare's character, "Zos" (see "Anathema of Zos" --
**continued in another post due to sudden electrical surge***

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: Major Dickslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Oh, you're THAT guy? Whaddya know.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

<<Whaddya know.>>

I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I KNOW, ASSHOLE!!!

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT??!? BLOOD?!?!? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!?!?

IF I COULD STICK MY KEYBOARD UP MY ASS WOULD THAT SATISFY YOU?!?!? WOULD IT
SLIDE ON BY YOU?!?! WOULD YOU THINK THE BOY IS STRANGE?!?!?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

MAJOR PINKASS wrote:
>
>
> Since I'm ordained, I see myself saved from the pinks.

Well then you are an idiot, because it isn't "the pinks" that the
SubGenius NEEDS saving from. Looks like you've been too busy
celebrating finding a loser's club losery enough to admit YOU as a
member to find out what the BASIC CONCEPTS of it are. Obsession with
"the pinks" is the surest sign of a bobbie. The Conspiracy keeps its
victims subjugating each other by causing them to define each other as
members of an inferior class.

>
> I will know refer to you as Major Dickslo.

I like it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

>
> Well then you are an idiot, because it isn't "the pinks" that the
> SubGenius NEEDS saving from. Looks like you've been too busy
> celebrating finding a loser's club losery enough to admit YOU as a
> member to find out what the BASIC CONCEPTS of it are. Obsession with
> "the pinks" is the surest sign of a bobbie. The Conspiracy keeps its
> victims subjugating each other by causing them to define each other as
> members of an inferior class.
>

Dickslough! What are you SAYING!?!? That "Bob's" idea of dividing
people into "us" and "Them," i.e., "Pinks" vs. "SubGenii," "humans" vs.
"Yetis", "weirdos" versus "normals," is ITSELF no more than a MORDANT
COMMENTARY on the very nature of THE CONSPIRACY ITSELF?? That some
SubGenii are consciously ACTING OUT A LIVING CARTOON which is itself a
microcosm of everything venal and fucked in human nature -- but that,
in the course of exaggerating (or diffusing) it with laffs and colorful
images, some forget that it's a map, and a fantasy map at that, rather
than any kind of real territory? And they start simplemindedly taking
the wrong lies at face value, just because it IS telling them JUST
EXACTLY WHAT THEY MOST WANT TO HEAR, that they're automatically right
and everybody else is automatically wrong? -- JUST LIKE THE CONSPIRACY
DOES?

What a revisionist Con-apologist PUSS! See how soon you're next
invitied to one of the parties at "Bob's" house.

BOTTOM LINE, however, is that by virtue of becoming a SubGenius
Minister, for $30, you ARE saved, partly because when X-Day happens
you'll be Ruptured, but also because you get to participate in
round-robin jackoffs like this, and actually GET something out of it,
albeit something vague that you can't quite put your finger on. And,
you can perform real marriages and all that happy clappy reverend shit!

Now what was that about the singer Pink appearing on a SubGenius forum?
I am ignoraant of current youth culture. Is Pink one of the real girl
singers, or one of these new he-girl singers that only LOOK like girls?

P.S. -- Note that I almost never ever use the slur "bobbie" to describe
any specific person, and by that have proved my permanent superiority
to Nenslo, even if also my own pussiness.

--

PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

STANG! YOU FOOL! DON'T YOU EVEN GET IT!? IT'S NO MORDANT COMMENTARY! IT'S REAL!
IT'S REAL! IT'S ALL TOO TERRIBLY REAL! LIKE PINK'S LITTLE PIG NOSE, SLUTTY
MAKEUP AND BEER BELLY AND THOSE BLACK AND BLUE BRUISES ON HER UPPER INNER
THIGHS PEEKING THROUGH THE TORN FISHNET STOCKINGS! I'D LIKE TO SMASH EGGS ALL
OVER HER FACE!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Can't. Might short-circuit her face. Void the
RIAA warranty.

--
"HERE LIES NU-MONET.
GOT TRIPLE HIS MONEY BACK."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: "SubGenius" spotted on pink game server
From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP YOU IILLITERATE OFFSPRING OF THAT HORRIBLY INBRED LIMEY
GENEPOOL? DON'T YOU SEE THAT I WAS TALKING TO DICKSLO? NOT YOU? IT'S NOT ALL
ABOUT YOU! DON'T LISTEN TO STANG! HE JUST WANTS YOUR THIRTY DOLLARS! HE WANTS
TO AUCTION OFF YOUR UNDERDEVELOPED POCKMARKED BOY-ASS AT XDAY TO THE HIGHEST
BIDDER! THAT'LL EITHER BE LILPILL, PEE EWW HERMAN OR LEGUME! AND THEN YOUR
DIAPERED SCHOOLBOY ASS WILL BE VIOLATED SUBGENII STYLE, YOU LONESOME LITTLE
SCHOOLBOY SHITTER! BY LEGUME! HE'LL BE DRESSED UP IN BLACK FACE AND ONE OF
THOSE BIG BEAVER HATS THE TOWER GUARDS WEAR! AND THEN HE'LL VIOLATE YOUR ANUS
WITH A NIGHTSTICK! LIVE! ON STAGE! STANG WILL FILM THE EVENT AND SELL THE
VIDEOS TO ME AND NENSLO FOR A HANDSOME PROFIT! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

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Original file name: Re- "SubGenius" spotted #1AD931 - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05