Re: Is this NG gonna Suck?

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Dec 25, 2003 1:39 PM


If this post appears to come from "Mammy," it has nothing to do with
the new Mammy Bash virus... it's I, Stang, with Wei at the Stang Ranch
in Deepest Texas.

Yes, it's Xistlessnessmas, but nobody gives much of a shit around here
either. As this post proves. My family is not especially religious, to
put it lightly. We used to do the big Xmas hoop-te-do, but all the
little kids grew up, so we're in the Grinchlike interim until grandkids
start appearing (which could happen any gestation period now). Which
suits me fine. Tomorrow my kids will get here and I'll give them
checks, and give twenties to my nephews and neices, thank god there are
only 4, and a couple of books for my dad about how Jesus never existed
and it's all a crock of shit. My dad has a pretty big library on that
subject already. He's an atheist Bible scholar.

My mom is permanently bedridden, although apparently immortal, and
talks like the grownups in the Peanuts cartoons. If there were little
children around they'd probably be hanging ornaments from her.

Our trip here was eventful only in that it was so uneventful,
considering this Orange Alert stuff. The night before we left I had
filled my head up with paranoid web articles about terror attacks and
plane hijackings. In fact the Cleveland, Chicago and Dallas airports
were not especially crowded or insane, nor was security especially
heavy as far as I could tell.

However, our flight to Chicago was delayed because of weather --
supposedly -- so me missed our connection and had to stay overnight in
There had been no snow or ice. I am positive that it was all a trick by
United, who is going broke and is in cahoots with the hotels. They
claim flights are "delayed by weather" then get kickbacks from the
hotels when travellers have to stay overnight unexpectedly.

In the old days of my first life, at this time of day on Xmas there'd
be a herd of children clamoring and whining in full blown Christmas
Greed, tearing open presents, and it'd all be a big deal. Until the new
mess of grandkids is created, we have a wonderful respite from all

Princess Wei and I escaped the snow in Ohio just in time. It's 70
degrees here at Rancho Stangolio and We/I are fixing to take a nice
long walk among the cacti, evergreens, cedar remnants and STUPID STUPID
COWS. I sincerely hope that nobody ever decides they might be MAD COWS,
because then we'd have to KILL them all like what happened in England,
and we'd be FUCKED.

The Mad Cow thing is more personally scary to me than most of the other
news crap. My brother the rancher said that if Mad Cow hit this country
it would be a truly unthinkably bad disaster. And the fact is, Mad Cow
HAS hit this country and it probably IS a disaster, because that shit
has such a long gestation period that they could ALL be mad by now and
we won't know until they start spazzing.

Later I will try once more to teach my dad how to download filthy
pictures. Usenet binaries downloading seems to be difficult for some
people to master, such as the very old and the very young.

As you can see, the newsgroup hardly sucks any differently.


Subject: Re: Is this NG gonna Suck?
From: nenslo <>

All we did here was watch a hailstorm, and then watch Nightmare Alley.
Nothing says christmas like Tyrone Power and Joan Blondell in a carny
geek movie. With Mike Mazurki when he was young enough to be nearly handsome.


Subject: Re: Is this NG gonna Suck?
From: nenslo <>

Unclaimed Mysteries wrote:
>How about those democrats and republicans, huh?

One of them is Good and the other is Bad.

Like Punch and Judy.

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