What's going down in Austin, TX?

From: Alex@foogle.fargle (Alex)

Date: Fri, Aug 13, 2004 10:28 AM

What's going on in Austin that the con needs to come up with
psyops of some "middle-eastern terror" suspect filming
buildings in cities, including Austin, TX?

What's in Austin, TX worth blowing up, other than a bunch of
liberals and anti-NWO activists?

How long before Cleveland, OH comes up on the list of
"potential terrorist targets"?
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Subject: Re: What's going down in Austin, TX?
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

Well, let me put it this way.


The Austin office actually moved to a medium-sized town in Georgia last
month. There are no official SubGenius Foundation offices in Texas at
all any more.

I shit you not. The mail that goes to the Austin PO Box is actually
forwarded to Georgia or me, depending. The evacuation happened so
suddenly that there's not even a Georgia Sacred PO Box yet. They had a
WEEK'S warning -- and it happened to come about 3 weeks before 7X-Day!

While Jesus and Magdalen were at 7X-Day, all their possessions, and the
Austin SubGenius office, were in a moving van enroute to Georgia.

Yesterday, we saw that the official SubGenius bank deposits started
going to a bank in Cleveland rather than in Austin.

> How long before Cleveland, OH comes up on the list of
> "potential terrorist targets"?

This morning, when I awoke, all the electricity was off. It was off on
the whole block, and the next block, and the shopping center, and all
the traffic lights.( August 17 will be the one year anniversay of the
big Blackout of 2003.) I am running this computer by hamster-wheel. And
I'm the hamster. (Don't fret - all sacred product that anyone ordered
up to *NOW* has been mailed out.)

Oddly enough, purely by coincidence I'm sure, an important office of
the U.S. government had to get in touch with us the Monday before last.
They got our attention rather FORCEFULLY. It turned out to be due to a
clerical error, a "Brazil-like" mistake. That's all. Yeah. That's all.
It's a funny and horrific story that I can't tell until the smoke
settles completely.

These little mundane annoyances have kept me from updating SubSITE or
keeping up with social email (or business email for that matter). I am
about to dive into that world of html, online catalogs and art
galleries again. And PayPal and eBay and all that. GoLive and
Photoshop. We finished two feature length videos and they aren't even
in our own catalog yet. GOT damn it. I'm forced to do the work of
Mammon and I'd a hundred billion thousand times rather just be
animating or editing that History of the Church. Or even just typing
this sentence right here. If I get half a chance I'm gonna try to
implement this PHP sub-website that I have secretly implanted inside

I guess you could say there are Time Control issues. *I* personally am
exercising the only true form of time control available to us, a
Zen-like patience. Or trying to. It's not easy to have Dobbsian Zen
patience when, oh, say, reading anything any SubGenius types, or
hearing anything any SubGenius says. But it sure beats having to hear
what The others have to say. I turned on a radio today to see if there
was any news about the power outtage, and just hearing 2 minutes of
drive-time "Extreme Radio" jock-talk reminded me why I love silence so
very much these days.

I am AHEAD on Hour of Slack. AHEAD! Speaking of irritating radio. Not
sure how this happened. We did a live show and I threw together a
"leftovers show" all in one day, and next up is a Starwood show, for
which I only have to cut fucks at this point. And there's two Cardboard
Box shows (the New Zealand branch) and Two Susie the Floozy and 15
Lymph Node Institute shows and 739 Hour of Slack shows (on cassette)
that could be rerun.

Last night for Slack I watched the first half of "The Day After
Tomorrow". On alt.binaries.movies there is a very good one-CD VCD copy
of it (made from a DVD, not filmed off a screen). Good thing I am
seeing it for free because it is a REAL piece of shit. The disaster
stuff is very pretty and all, and everything else about it is a
grinding insult to the intelligence. Just as everyone says. The first
thing in the movie that happens is the continental ice shelf BREAKS OFF
along a HUGE CRACK that happens to come RIGHT WHERE THE HERO OF THE

Also saw the end of "Super Size Me." And just as I pry apart drama
movies while I watch them, seeing the standard plot outline unroll in
my head, guessing what the screenwriter is going to make the characters
do next, why, with documentaries I look for the TRICKS. I have edited
several feature length documentaries myself, and when faced with a
subject that is basically pretty boring -- REAL LIFE -- the documentary
filmmaker has to dramatise and stretch and embellish and exagerrate
like hell just to maintain some kind of excitement. The filmmaker has
the option of INVENTING EXTRA DIFFICULTIES for his subject, ones that
weren't really there but help get the point of the film across (that
point being, "PAY MONEY TO SEE ME!!")

And I had to wonder if the guy was really eating ONLY McDonalds, or if
he wasn't ALSO drinking liquid fat and chewing fatback every day just
to make give his point a little more "OOOOMPH." I'm not saying he did
that, I'm just saying, as a fellow documentary guy, that's one think
I'd THINK OF to do.

"Super Size Me" is a good portrait of one aspect of THE ABSOLUTE UTTER
STUPIDITY OF HUMANS. To me, the proliferation of fast food joints is
just another way to kill off the dumbasses so they breed less. Since I
eat out maybe 10 times a year, for me a meal at McDonald's or Burger
King is a REALLY UNUSUAL SPECIAL TREAT that brings back warm nostalgic
memories of when I was a miserable idiot working minimum wage for Pinks
and spending all my spare money on Conspiracy drugs like Marlboros,
Whoppers and Beer.

You see how I just procrastinated all that catalog copywriting and
box-cover thumbnail picture making I have to do? Ahhh yes.

Oh yeah, about Austin and Texas and everything. According to the
ever-revised Dateline for Dominance, we'll move the Main MegaFisTemple
Lodge BACK to Texas (or its remnants, depending) in the year 2010. But
not to a big city -- to the CULT COMPOUND FACILITY out in the boonies
that we already own. Right now it appears to be merely a harmless
cattle ranch. Yes. That's all. Just a nice cattle ranch with horses and
tractors, hay balers and a whole lot of cow shit. And scrubby old hill
country type landscape. About 40 miles from Mount Carmel, the torched
Branch Davidians compound, I shit you not.

So our little "Texas UFO Death Cult" still has a home in Texas, after
all. (We still have the PO Box 140306 in Dallas, too.) Princess Wei and
I have plenty to keep us mostly up North, but I still have my accent,
and if the Xists don't show within the next 6 years I'll have use for
it again.

Sitting on my parents' back porch, looking out at the back 40, you'd
almost think you were at Brushwood. Only it's hotter, a little bigger,
there's Mesquite trees, rattlers and tarantulas instead of apple trees,
froggies and chipmonks, and instead of campsites full of pagans,
hippies, stoners, bikers, and SubGeniuses, there are some horses and a
bunch of cows, and one goat that thinks it's a cow (seriously).

If that goat went to see "Super Size Me" he'd be real glad he's a goat
and not one of those cows.

When I move in down there I'm gonna have Blackout's Giant Full Metal
Dobbshead welded to the front gate. And it'll have a spunk-pass
security device right behind the mouth. You'll have to fuck the metal
Dobbshead in the mouth until you spunk enough for it to read your DNA
and if you're on the list you can get in.


((Jes' kiddin'! Jes' kiddin'!))

The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com

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