From: KILLME@killme.com (Rev. Sternodox)
Date: Wed, Aug 6, 2003
I want to apologize to everyone who might have been
offended at ... wait a
minute, no I don't. I don't wanna fucking apologize, I want to SPLIT EVERY
ONE of your fucking BUTTS in HALF, sear each half on a zillion degrees
centigrade skillet, stuff the buttholes with 90 pounds of TABASCO SAUCE
mixed with COBRA SNAKE VENOM (which has been jacked off into by a tribe of
miscreant rodent worshippers from Bhutan), then take EACH ONE of you Pig
Shit EATING fuck-shits and tie you together in pairs with creosote-soaked,
cum-stained dishrags (that have been laying in the bottom of a swimming
pool filled with camel piss, baby shit, wino vomit and dead slugs for
THREE YEARS), light the rags on fire and watch you squirm as the LEGIONS
of RAPE GORILLAS I've hired especially for the occasion piss all over you
with their blood-soaked dicks! THEN I want to untie whomever is left alive
(which I hope is NOBODY!!) and march them straight to Billy Samuels' house
to partake in Billy's version of "Skin the Pink." See, what we do is
simple, really. We just tie you up again and then SHIT ALL OVER YOU FOR
ABOUT A MONTH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! How 'bout THEM apples, pancake?
You fucking CUNT-RAGS don't have the fucking BALLS to even stand up for
your own newgroup's fucking PISS 'n SHIT DECENCY do you? You fucking
slime-beshitted, make-apples-out-of-shit and then eat them, fucking
ASSHOLE-BELCHING and throat-pussy FARTING snarf-felchers are ABSOLUTELY
WORTHLESS and FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!! I was attempting to explain to the Sunday
School class just last Sunday how UTTERLY FUCKED IN THE HEADS all you
alt.slack.assles were, but I didn't even have the fucking words to do it!!
Jesus H. Fucking Christ on a Crankshaft, those little kids just sat there
looking at me, waiting for me to explain how TOTALLY
INTESTINAL-PARASITE-FUCKING you all were, but I couln't do it. I couldn't
let those beautiful children - those innocent babes in the woods - know
just WHO and WHAT kind of REPLACE THEIR OWN DICKS WITH SHIT AND THEN STICK
IT UP EACH OTHER'S ASSHOLES AFTER EATING AND THEN PUKING IT (whilst
simultaneously buttfucking it in the MOUTH) instead of going to Church of
a Sunday kind of fucking assholes you people really ARE. Now could I? Hell
no I couldn't. But NEXT Sunday I'm telling them EVERYTHING! I'm telling
them how much you all like to suck cowshit out of boot while FLOCKS of
BUZZARDS pick pieces of skanky old BUFFALO PUSSIES out of your assholes
and how you take those RANCID Fucking BOVINE CUNTS and make sandwiches out
of them, using 50-kilo SKANK-HOOKER TURDS instead of bread. Fuck, you
people are so fucked up IT MAKES ME FUCKING WANT TO FUCKING PUKE. Man,
when I found out about you alt.slack.dickheadz and your penchant for
prurient leech fucking, I 'bout barfed a throat turd. But I knew that if
ANY ONE of you FUCKING ASSHOLES was within 150 MILES of me that you'd be
on that vomit spray like shit on a shingle. So I held it in as long as I
could and then let it fucking SPEW all in your GRAMMAW's PUSSY, you
fucking LITTLE DICKED, PINKY DICKED and CAVERNOUS CUNTED alt.slack.
fucking.dipshitz. FUCK OFF and/or DIE!!
Rev. Pope Sternodox
From: "Dunter Powries" <fech.redcap@spedlins>
It was a just and marvelous judgement of God, that this place should be
filled with the blood of unbelievers.
-Raymond of Aguilers
From: email@example.com (HellPopeHuey)
He didn't mean YOU, cornhole. He meant those of us
who used to loan
him the SKILLETS until we saw what he was DOING with them. I'll never
make flapjacks with that thing again, eeyeewwww.... goddamn that Pope
Black influence. I mean, anyone who makes those things out of corn
meal, carob chips and opiated Ouzo....that's like buttsplitting your
own STOMACH! No way, dood.
HellPope Huey, firstname.lastname@example.org
A coolness rating of 40 MegaFonzies!
"For every child, rich or poor, there's a time
of running through
a dark place;
and there's no word for a child's fear and no ears to hear it if
there was a word
and no one to understand it if they heard.
God save the little children! They abide and they endure."
- from "Night of the Hunter," screenplay by James Agee.
"How's that 6-toed 0possum-baby your mother
had with redneck?'
- 'King of the Hill"
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