System OS X Question

From: KILLME@killme.com (Rev. Sternodox)
Date: Thu, Jul 24, 2003

Forensic Haiku

by Rev. Sternodox

Once upon a time there was this one guy that liked Keanu Reeves movies and
captured everybody in his neighborhood and tied them up and took them down
to his secret laboratory that was in his basement. After they were all
down there he started in on these experiments where he amputated all the
guy's dicks and swapped them around with surgery so that none of the guys
had their own dicks any more. But this one guy who only had a tiny dick
got a big one so he wasn't too mad except that the guy didn't use
anesthesia so it hurt pretty bad. But the rest of the guys were pissed but
they were all tied up and couldn't do anything. But one guy who got his
dick replaced started in cussing the other guy out and so he got pissed
off and dumped cyanide pellets on the floor and shut the door and they all
died. But then the guy realized he couldn't go back in the lab because of
poison gas and had to go out and rent another house with a basement. But
the real estate agent told him there weren't any houses in the whole town
with basements but the guy thought he was lying and so he dragged him back
to his own old house and put on a gas mask and opened the door real quick
and tossed the real estate agent in the lab before too much of the cyanide
gas could get out. But all the dead people in the lab had turned into
zombies and started in buttfucking the real estate agent who went
immedately insane because of the horror of it. And one of the zombies who
had been a locksmith in real life picked the lock and got out and they all
ransacked the guy's house and found his new great dane puppies who they
killed and buttfucked. Then they all ran out of the guy's house looking
for him but they ran into a Shriners parade first and they all jumped on
the Shriners who were riding them little cars and also Harleys. One of the
Shriners was too drunk to realize what was happening until two zombies
were already buttfucking him and eating each other's shit, but the other
ones were all sober and half of them died of heart attacks from fright and
the zombies threw their own shit all on them and they all came back from
the dead as zombies too. But just then a school bus had its brakes go out
all of the sudden and it crashed into the place where all the zombies were
buttfucking all the dead and dying Shriners and throwing shit all on them.
But there was this one kid on the bus who did a science project about
reanimating small mammal corpses and he had a rat that was dead but he
brought it back to life but it had rabies. So the rat got out of the kid's
cage just as the school bus started to crash into the zombie/Shriner
buttfucking/shitting orgy and it ran up and bit one of the Shriners in the
dick and got rabies saliva all in his dick and gave the Shriner rabies.
But the Shriner didn't want to have seventeen shots in his stomach so he
decided to go ahead and get rabies and become a homo and buttfuck some of
the other Shriners before they died at the hands of the zombies. But soon
the zombies got tired of buttfucking the Shriners and made a deal with
them that they could all shit on the dead kids that were in the school bus
and take turns jacking each other off while they did it. But then the guy
who started it all came to where all this was happening and talked the
zombies and Shriners that weren't dead yet into buttfucking him and one of
them accidentally got the rat that had rabies on the end of his dick and
the rat went into the guy's asshole and bit him inside there and he got
rabies and started in killing the Shriners. But the zombies still wanted
some live Shriners to buttfuck and shit on so they went ahead and killed
the guy. But one of the zombies only liked to buttfuck dead people with
rabies so he paid the other zombies and Shriners to let him have the dead
guy's corpse but the dead guy came back to life as a zombie too and they
became best friends and homos and got married but nobody would let them in
a hotel or resort because of skin rotting off and rabies foam all in their
mouths and shit too and because they were prejudiced against homos and
stuff.

The End

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Original file name: System OS X Question.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05