2005 Dead Pool
Correspondent:: Frere Jean Bleu
Date: Fri, 31 Dec 2004 11:40:12 +1100
--------
My top 10 predictions for deaths in 2005.
1 The Pope (Always a top contender every year, yet the old bugger
keeps hanging on. Chokes on a gherkin)
2. Elvis Presley (This time for real.....plastic surgery
complications)
3 Osama Bin Laden (Kidney failure/dehydration caused by too much
ecstasy during an all night rave in Amsterdam)
4. An African/Asian/Cental American dictator from somewhere.
(Undetermined cause)
5 Michael Jackson( Bludgeoned by spin doctor after finally tiring of
trying to PR away yet another scandal........... either that or death
by suffocation as face melts away)
6 South Park's Kenny (Various causes)
7 Jerry Bruckheimer (Hit by flying resin product placement mock-up
whilst witnessing a blockbuster explosion shoot that goes wrong, movie
goes on to make 500 million and 160% for Warner Bros.)
8 Santa Claus ( Dies in custody after being detained and interrogated
for violating US airspace)
9 Several astronauts (In a clerical mix up, NASA loads Nitrous Oxide
instead of oxygen tanks. Senate enquiry recommends improved procedures
and controls)
10 Jesse Jackson (In a visit to one of the red states, is lynched for
being an "uppity black". The perpetrators are aquitted in recognition
of the newly drafted "Family Values" Bill of 2005.)
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 30 Dec 2004 16:49:11 -0800
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Wait, you forgot the Queen of England! I can't WAIT for that codgy old
bitch to kick the bucket! I mean, no offense to the Brit SubGs, but
it's gonna be SWEET when she goes.
I'm a pretty rabid shakespeare buff, so I can't wait to see the
coronation after she dies. I mean, yeah, whatever you think about
Charles aside, it's still the same ceremony from like, 700 years ago
(I'm assuming), and it's something that you'll probabally not see again
for 30 or 40 years. So that's something to look forward to in 2005.
Another death prediction in 2005: Artenia Salania. (If all goes
according to plan. Which it should. I'm saving up the cash to hire G.
Gordon Gordon, the old skool "killer for Dobbs" of myth and legend, not
the dirty old man he's become.)
Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (kdetal)
Date: 31 Dec 2004 00:59:42 GMT
--------
Liz Taylor.
Even Odds.
--
I do what I want. This is why I always win.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 19:02:05 -0800
--------
On 30 Dec 2004 16:49:11 -0800, "Paul Casino"
wrote:
>Wait, you forgot the Queen of England! I can't WAIT for that codgy old
>bitch to kick the bucket!
what the fuck, didn't she already die?
Or is that irrelevant?
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Being well-informed is but a stone's throw from being boring - and
stones will be thrown"
- Quentin Crisp
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 30 Dec 2004 19:41:19 -0800
--------
No, that was the Queen Mother. I was fooled as well until someone less
stupid than me (not too touugh to find one of them) explained it. So,
yes, the Queen Mother's death is irrelevant. Sorry, brits.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 31 Dec 2004 06:36:52 GMT
--------
In article <1104454151.617730.121410@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
"Paul Casino" wrote:
> Another death prediction in 2005: Artenia Salania. (If all goes
> according to plan. Which it should. I'm saving up the cash to hire G.
> Gordon Gordon, the old skool "killer for Dobbs" of myth and legend, not
> the dirty old man he's become.)
He's slowed down a bit in his dotage, so he now kills by throwing one
of his heart stents, shuriken-style. It pierces the victim neatly and
returns to its place in his chest, untraceable by even CSI cops. Its a
scary goddamned anime scenario. Don't mess with 'im.
Hire purple to do it. He's an eeeediot, both will die and you'll get a
two-fer.
--
HellPope Huey
The sleep of reason begets bupkiss, these days
A professional politician
is a professionally dishonorable man.
In order to get anywhere near high office,
he has to make so many compromises
and submit to so many humiliations
that he becomes indistinguishable
from a streetwalker.
- H. L. Mencken
"If you can make a million dollars eating a rat,
you can make TWO million PASSING one."
- Super Dave Osborne
Correspondent:: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel"
Date: 31 Dec 2004 04:06:19 -0800
--------
Paul Casino wrote:
> Wait, you forgot the Queen of England! I can't WAIT for that codgy
old
> bitch to kick the bucket! I mean, no offense to the Brit SubGs, but
> it's gonna be SWEET when she goes.
>
I expect Her Majesty to celebrate her 100th birthday by hunting foxes
with the great-grandkids.
Saxe-Coburg-Gothas are notoriously hard to kill.
> I'm a pretty rabid shakespeare buff, so I can't wait to see the
> coronation after she dies. I mean, yeah, whatever you think about
> Charles aside, it's still the same ceremony from like, 700 years ago
> (I'm assuming), and it's something that you'll probabally not see
again
> for 30 or 40 years. So that's something to look forward to in 2005.
You get to see Parliment opening every year. Part of the show--as near
as an Amaerican like myself can figure--involves the re-enactment of a
coup d'etat from 300 years ago.
Can you imagine what would it'd be like if the U.S. Congress openend
every session with a re-enactment of the Burr-Hamilton duel?
--
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel.
"Your opponents are clumsy and inept."
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 31 Dec 2004 14:58:14 GMT
--------
>You get to see Parliment opening every year. Part of the show--as near
>as an Amaerican like myself can figure--involves the re-enactment of a
>coup d'etat from 300 years ago.
>
>Can you imagine what would it'd be like if the U.S. Congress openend
>every session with a re-enactment of the Burr-Hamilton duel?
>
So old fashioned! Lest start our Legislative bodied sessions wit MUD WRESTING!
Yeee Haaaa!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: Eddie Vroom
Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2005 02:06:07 GMT
--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
> So old fashioned! Lest start our Legislative bodied sessions wit MUD WRESTING!
I vote Hot Oil Wrestling. 425 fahrenheit. A giant Fry Daddy should do
the trick...
--
Art and Fashion for the New Conspiracy
http://www.cafepress.com/luciddragon
the Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor Eddie Vroom
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 19:29:12 -0800
--------
Frere Jean Bleu wrote:
>
> My top 10 predictions for deaths in 2005.
>
My top 10 predictions for deaths in 2005
You and your whole family if you keep pushing me.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 31 Dec 2004 06:39:43 GMT
--------
In article <41D4C788.901CBE99@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> Frere Jean Bleu wrote:
> >
> > My top 10 predictions for deaths in 2005.
> >
> My top 10 predictions for deaths in 2005
> You and your whole family if you keep pushing me.
Have it videoed and send the file to Stang for the upcoming vidoe
version of the Hour of Slack on the WB. Stang is dead, but his clones
will live on and maintain the "faith." Beautiful, awful & sublime.
--
HellPope Huey
The sleep of reason begets bupkiss, these days
A professional politician
is a professionally dishonorable man.
In order to get anywhere near high office,
he has to make so many compromises
and submit to so many humiliations
that he becomes indistinguishable
from a streetwalker.
- H. L. Mencken
"If you can make a million dollars eating a rat,
you can make TWO million PASSING one."
- Super Dave Osborne
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 31 Dec 2004 14:57:05 GMT
--------
>Have it videoed and send the file to Stang for the upcoming vidoe
>version of the Hour of Slack on the WB. Stang is dead, but his clones
>will live on and maintain the "faith." Beautiful, awful & sublime.
>
Stang died a few months after his divorce form the Mrs. Stang the first.
He died in a gutter in Dallas in a alcohalic stupor. The Stang we see is
actualy a Mr. Elmer J. Diddle. A Professionsal Stang impersonator the Church
hired in Vegas.
But Stang's brain is in vat at the secret Bunker somewhere's in Texas. Friday
Jones is working to re-animate it and place it into a unsupsecting church
member body at one of the X-Day events.
This is why she no longer posts to alt.slack. Too busy splicing DNA, mixing
chemicals and watching the Spice Channel.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: "Kevin Cunningham"
Date: Fri, 31 Dec 2004 16:22:11 GMT
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote in message
news:20041231095705.12301.00002816@mb-m28.aol.com...
> >Have it videoed and send the file to Stang for the upcoming vidoe
>>version of the Hour of Slack on the WB. Stang is dead, but his clones
>>will live on and maintain the "faith." Beautiful, awful & sublime.
>>
>
> Stang died a few months after his divorce form the Mrs. Stang the first.
>
> He died in a gutter in Dallas in a alcohalic stupor. The Stang we see is
> actualy a Mr. Elmer J. Diddle. A Professionsal Stang impersonator the
> Church
> hired in Vegas.
>
> But Stang's brain is in vat at the secret Bunker somewhere's in Texas.
> Friday
> Jones is working to re-animate it and place it into a unsupsecting church
> member body at one of the X-Day events.
>
> This is why she no longer posts to alt.slack. Too busy splicing DNA,
> mixing
> chemicals and watching the Spice Channel.
>
>
>
>
> MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
>
Putting a working brain in a body, how un-american.
Rev. Dr. Junior Mints
Anti-Pope of Atlanta
Correspondent:: "«BONEHEAD>>"
Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2005 09:18:10 GMT
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote in message
news:20041231095705.12301.00002816@mb-m28.aol.com...
> >Have it videoed and send the file to Stang for the upcoming vidoe
> >version of the Hour of Slack on the WB. Stang is dead, but his clones
> >will live on and maintain the "faith." Beautiful, awful & sublime.
> >
>
> Stang died a few months after his divorce form the Mrs. Stang the first.
>
> He died in a gutter in Dallas in a alcohalic stupor. The Stang we see is
> actualy a Mr. Elmer J. Diddle. A Professionsal Stang impersonator the
Church
> hired in Vegas.
>
> But Stang's brain is in vat at the secret Bunker somewhere's in Texas.
Friday
> Jones is working to re-animate it and place it into a unsupsecting church
> member body at one of the X-Day events.
>
> This is why she no longer posts to alt.slack. Too busy splicing DNA,
mixing
> chemicals and watching the Spice Channel.
>
>
Splice/Spice what's the dif???????????
The Splice Channel.... A million dollar Idear.........
--
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein