A question from Mrs. Nenslo
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 25 Dec 2004 13:46:48 -0800
--------
Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sat, 25 Dec 2004 22:16:49 GMT
--------
nenslo wrote:
>Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
>what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
See, _if_ is key here, a premise.
So, if this is indeed the agogee, then it would be the perigee, wouldn't it?
But Easter is named for Oestrus, and a time when the Big Muddy,
the Nile, and the Yang-tze are all itching to jump their banks and
awwww, fukkit! Just tell her that any time you say it is the least wonderful
time, dear! Just like you usually do. Then slap her stoopit, put a pair of
high heels on her, turn her loose in Albina and tell her don't come back
without a thousand bucks.
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 25 Dec 2004 22:28:32 GMT
--------
>Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
>what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
>
The other 364 days she wakes up next to you?
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 25 Dec 2004 17:02:56 -0800
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
>
> >Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> >what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
> >
>
> The other 364 days she wakes up next to you?
>
Ha ha! We have separate bedrooms so THE JOKE'S ON YOU!
... or is it???
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Sat, 25 Dec 2004 14:51:46 -0800
--------
In article <41CDDFC8.119EFDAF@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
That's easy. April 15 The deadline for filing tax forms
pb
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 25 Dec 2004 17:03:21 -0800
--------
polar bear wrote:
>
> In article <41CDDFC8.119EFDAF@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> wrote:
>
> > Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> > what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
>
> That's easy. April 15 The deadline for filing tax forms
>
> pb
That's what she said.
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Sat, 25 Dec 2004 18:14:21 -0700
--------
nenslo wrote:
>
> Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most
> wonderful time of the year' what is the LEAST
> wonderful time of the year?"
That would be when the dead arise from the grave
to seek vengeance on the living by eating their
brains and drinking all the coffee.
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant
Date: Sun, 26 Dec 2004 02:10:01 -0500
--------
nenslo wrote:
> Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
Annual physical exam with the "jam a finger up yer ass, twist and turn a
few times, yank it back out," routine. Although I'll assume some
sickies get a thrill outta that part.
Rich
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 27 Dec 2004 00:07:12 -0800
--------
Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
> > Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> > what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
>
> Annual physical exam with the "jam a finger up yer ass, twist and turn a
> few times, yank it back out," routine. Although I'll assume some
> sickies get a thrill outta that part.
>
> Rich
Yes, WE NORMAL PEOPLE ALL REALLY HATE THAT, don't we. We don't like it
ONE BIT. Because we are NOT GAY OR SICK IN ANY WAY. We only experience
pleasurable feelings from the stimulation of SPECIFIC AND MANLY (NON
GAY) erogenous zones, and all the other ones ONLY provide UNPLEASANT
feelings which we DREAD AND HATE because we are NORMAL and NOT GAY.
NOT GAY.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 06:04:14 GMT
--------
In article <41CFC2AE.A4144E7D@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> > > Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> > > what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
The Festival of Basket-Lithotripsy Gallstone Removal. All other days
fade before its awesome, white-hot urethral majesty. Holy flurking
shnit, that hurts like a quintuple dose of untreated clap that was
allowed to bloom until your wanger feels like an octopus tentacle caught
in a Salad Shooter. Yep, you forget Xmas ALL to Hell and back. You'd
rather have a rectal with a moped.
--
HellPope Huey
People applauded rather than throwing fruit.
I take this as a good sign.
Infinite goodness
is creating a being you know, in advance,
is going to complain.
- William Peter Blatty, "Ninth Configuration"
"Does the noise in my head bother you,
bother you, bother you, bother you?"
- Loop Guru, "Loop Bites Dog"
Correspondent:: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel"
Date: 31 Dec 2004 04:23:30 -0800
--------
nenslo wrote:
> Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant wrote:
> >
> > nenslo wrote:
> > > Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the
year'
> > > what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
> >
> > Annual physical exam with the "jam a finger up yer ass, twist and
turn a
> > few times, yank it back out," routine. Although I'll assume some
> > sickies get a thrill outta that part.
> >
> > Rich
>
> Yes, WE NORMAL PEOPLE ALL REALLY HATE THAT, don't we. We don't like
it
> ONE BIT. Because we are NOT GAY OR SICK IN ANY WAY. We only
experience
> pleasurable feelings from the stimulation of SPECIFIC AND MANLY (NON
> GAY) erogenous zones, and all the other ones ONLY provide UNPLEASANT
> feelings which we DREAD AND HATE because we are NORMAL and NOT GAY.
>
> NOT GAY.
Anyone ever have the nerve to ask a gay man what he thinks of "Dr.
Finger"?
I didn't think so.
My guess is he'd be just as annoyed as the rest of us, unless--not
likeley--his doctor just happened to be his boyfriend.
Personally I don't think us guys have anything to whine about.
Seriously, ask your wife/girlfriend/concubine/etc. about her annual
"pelvic exam".
--
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel.
"Goodnight, Gracie."
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 31 Dec 2004 23:20:23 GMT
--------
<< [[. . . gyno. . .]]>
Yeah, at least they don't scrape the prostate gland
with a sharp object or anything.
I remember several thousand women who tried to
stick their long painted-up style fingernails up my
ass during sex. What the fuck were they thinking?
That's why they make lubricated squid tentacles!
As long as Mrs. Nenslo is asking about ass-sex with
her husband (I'm reading this thread ass-backwards
and drawing my own conclusions). . .
I forgot what I was going to say about that or
have decided to censor myself or something like
that which we all should be thankful for during this
holiday season.
Assbuggers.
ooOOoo
It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2005 00:43:07 GMT
--------
In article <20041231182023.23348.00002674@mb-m03.aol.com>,
asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc) wrote:
> I remember several thousand women who tried to
> stick their long painted-up style fingernails up my
> ass during sex. What the fuck were they thinking?
That it would be amusing to see if they could cause you to make a sound
that would make their inevitable cat(s) jump 3 feet into the air? Well,
that's one idea, anyway.
--
HellPope Huey
Inventor of Dr. Satori's
Last-Ditch Baby Knockout Drops
For Shattered Parents
"I dreamed I tore all the skin off my face
and was somebody else underneath."
"You have problems."
"I'm aware of that."
- "The Shadow"
"I'm not going to put you away.
You're not a ghost... I see you."
- "Judging Amy"
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2005 01:17:51 GMT
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article <20041231182023.23348.00002674@mb-m03.aol.com>,
> asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc) wrote:
>
> > I remember several thousand women who tried to
> > stick their long painted-up style fingernails up my
> > ass during sex. What the fuck were they thinking?
>
> That it would be amusing to see if they could cause you to make a sound
> that would make their inevitable cat(s) jump 3 feet into the air? Well,
> that's one idea, anyway.
>
See "Ack"
on A.B.S.
Correspondent:: Candlemoth
Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2005 11:56:34 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article <20041231182023.23348.00002674@mb-m03.aol.com>,
> asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc) wrote:
>
>
>>I remember several thousand women who tried to
>>stick their long painted-up style fingernails up my
>>ass during sex. What the fuck were they thinking?
>
>
> That it would be amusing to see if they could cause you to make a sound
> that would make their inevitable cat(s) jump 3 feet into the air? Well,
> that's one idea, anyway.
>
I remember the first time a woman stuck her finger up my ass during sex!
Damn! Must've had a hunnerd cats casting-about outside. Lucky we
didn't have cops!
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Sun, 02 Jan 2005 13:41:11 -0800
--------
In article , Candlemoth
wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> > In article <20041231182023.23348.00002674@mb-m03.aol.com>,
> > asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc) wrote:
> >
> >
> >>I remember several thousand women who tried to
> >>stick their long painted-up style fingernails up my
> >>ass during sex. What the fuck were they thinking?
> >
> >
> > That it would be amusing to see if they could cause you to make a sound
> > that would make their inevitable cat(s) jump 3 feet into the air? Well,
> > that's one idea, anyway.
> >
>
> I remember the first time a woman stuck her finger up my ass during sex!
> Damn! Must've had a hunnerd cats casting-about outside. Lucky we
> didn't have cops!
Sounds unsanitary. Did she give you a Hitler afterwards?
pb
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2005 02:30:11 GMT
--------
In article <020120051341111851%bear@pole.com>,
polar bear wrote:
> In article , Candlemoth
> wrote:
> > I remember the first time a woman stuck her finger up my ass during sex!
> > Damn! Must've had a hunnerd cats casting-about outside. Lucky we
> > didn't have cops!
>
> Sounds unsanitary. Did she give you a Hitler afterwards?
In Arkansas, we call that a Dirty Foxworth.
--
HellPope Huey
Official Dobbs Geek Orthodox Ministurb
"This may be the year
when we finally come face to face with ourselves;
finally just lay back and say it --
that we are really just a nation
of 220 million used car salesmen
with all the money we need to buy guns
and no qualms at all
about killing anybody else in the world
who tries to make us uncomfortable."
- Hunter S. Thompson
"Seeing you in a hole in the ground
reminds me of this dream I keep having."
- "Father of the Pride"
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 10 Jan 2005 22:02:40 GMT
--------
<< I remember the first time a woman stuck her finger up my ass during sex!
Damn! Must've had a hunnerd cats casting-about outside. Lucky we
didn't have cops!>>
Yeah, she might have borrowed one of their billy
clubs and some gun oil.
ooOOoo
Daily Affirmation:
No matter what new depths to which my life may fall,
I may always take solace in the fact
that I will never be found refining a puppet act.
Correspondent:: Artemia Salina
Date: Sun, 26 Dec 2004 04:32:34 -0500
--------
On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 13:46:48 -0800, nenslo wrote:
> Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
That'd probably be the time of year each year that your mother
gets hit by a truck, drowns, is administered the wrong medication,
is bitten by a rabid box turtle, mistakenly wanders into a pride
fighting match, is set on fire by a near-sighted self-immolating
monk, finds herself outside of the Lynnwood Public Library at 7:00,
falls from an airplane through the roof of a meat processing plant
and into an industrial meat grinder, falls off the bow of a cruise
ship and is eaten by sharks, has a heart attack while making your
bed, scalds herself with molten candied apple candy, contracts
Marburg hemorrhagic fever, and dies just last week.
--
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Mon, 27 Dec 2004 00:08:25 -0800
--------
Artemia Salina wrote:
>
> On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 13:46:48 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>
> > Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> > what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
>
> That'd probably be the time of year each year that your mother
> gets hit by a truck, drowns, is administered the wrong medication,
> is bitten by a rabid box turtle, mistakenly wanders into a pride
> fighting match, is set on fire by a near-sighted self-immolating
> monk, finds herself outside of the Lynnwood Public Library at 7:00,
> falls from an airplane through the roof of a meat processing plant
> and into an industrial meat grinder, falls off the bow of a cruise
> ship and is eaten by sharks, has a heart attack while making your
> bed, scalds herself with molten candied apple candy, contracts
> Marburg hemorrhagic fever, and dies just last week.
>
What is it with you people and mothers. People die.
Correspondent:: "Talysman the Ur-Beatle"
Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 06:23:46 GMT
--------
nenslo wrote in news:41CFC2F7.4C66A876@yahoox.com:
> Artemia Salina wrote:
>>
>> On Sat, 25 Dec 2004 13:46:48 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>>
>> > Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the
>> > year' what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"
>>
>> That'd probably be the time of year each year that your mother
>> gets hit by a truck, drowns, is administered the wrong medication,
>> is bitten by a rabid box turtle, mistakenly wanders into a pride
>> fighting match, is set on fire by a near-sighted self-immolating
>> monk, finds herself outside of the Lynnwood Public Library at 7:00,
>> falls from an airplane through the roof of a meat processing plant
>> and into an industrial meat grinder, falls off the bow of a cruise
>> ship and is eaten by sharks, has a heart attack while making your
>> bed, scalds herself with molten candied apple candy, contracts
>> Marburg hemorrhagic fever, and dies just last week.
>>
>
> What is it with you people and mothers. People die.
they're AMERICANS.
what, haven't you read Philip Wylie's A GENERATION OF VIPERS?
--
Talysman the Ur-Beatle, STRAWGRASPER
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 11:26:14 -0800
--------
Talysman the Ur-Beatle wrote:
>
>
> what, haven't you read Philip Wylie's A GENERATION OF VIPERS?
>
I kept waiting for the vipers to show up.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 21:37:24 GMT
--------
In article <41D45654.12FC5EF4@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> Talysman the Ur-Beatle wrote:
> >
> > what, haven't you read Philip Wylie's A GENERATION OF VIPERS?
>
> I kept waiting for the vipers to show up.
Just look down at your boots, Mr. Wonderful; they're nipping at your
spokes, even as we OW OW OW OW
--
HellPope Huey
The sleep of reason begets bupkiss, these days
A professional politician
is a professionally dishonorable man.
In order to get anywhere near high office,
he has to make so many compromises
and submit to so many humiliations
that he becomes indistinguishable
from a streetwalker.
- H. L. Mencken
"If you can make a million dollars eating a rat,
you can make TWO million PASSING one."
- Super Dave Osborne
Correspondent:: "Rev. 11D Meow!"
Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 21:28:00 -0800
--------
Your posts allegedly from "Mrs. Nenslo".
Way TOO Often...
My guess is.....
"Mrs. Nenslo" is
a bazillion year-old
pair of 'LEGS'
Filled With Reeking Bleu Cheese!
"nenslo" wrote in message
news:41CDDFC8.119EFDAF@yahoox.com...
> Last night she asked, "If this is 'the most wonderful time of the year'
> what is the LEAST wonderful time of the year?"