Big News: Huge Relief for Stang Family; also, Giant Butt
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang" Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 15:40:34 -0500
--------
My father's little dog, Gus, has been found safe, after having gone
missing for four days.
Gus was found trapped in a coyote/bobcat wire snare on a neighboring
ranch. The neighbor, a human, was preparing to shoot the Stang family
patriarch's beloved Springer Spaniel when he noticed that the animal
was wearing a collar and tag, and was stupidly wagging its tail at him.
The rancher phoned the local veterinarian, and my father was able to
reclaim his dog. Strangely, the animal seemed none the worse for wear;
the lack of injury around his neck suggests that he had not been in the
snare for very long.
The "Missing Four Days of Gus" remain an utter mystery.
In other news, it is snowing like eighteen and a half motherfuckers in
Cleveland, and my street looks like it belongs in a 1950s Coca Cola
Christmas magazine ad.
In related news, my son directed a 1950s Coca Cola television ad.
And finally... two mornings ago, upon rising from bed and drawing back
the curtains to see what sort of day had begun, I was greeted by the
sight of a giant humanoid butt.
My football fan neighbors directly across the street, or their friends,
had arranged for a 10 foot tall inflateable cartoon football player
character promotional novelty balloon figure to be installed during the
night in their yard, facing their front door.
Not all news is bad news, but most news that isn't bad is pretty dull.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 13 Dec 2004 22:21:28 GMT
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<< he noticed that the animal
was wearing a collar and tag, and was stupidly wagging its tail at him.
>>
I'm getting a vision of a hairy little beast with a puggish nose and a mass of
drool-matted
hair around the jowels.
<
Coca Cola television ad.>>
Chronologically impossible unless there's a Wayback
Machine involved. You'll have to dish more than that.
Has he been involved with the Coca Cola bear?
ooOOoo
It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang" Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 16:58:05 -0500
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In article <20041213172128.21692.00001563@mb-m14.aol.com>, AssCo Assc
wrote:
> <
> Coca Cola television ad.>>
>
> Chronologically impossible unless there's a Wayback
> Machine involved. You'll have to dish more than that.
> Has he been involved with the Coca Cola bear?
>
>
He made a Coke commercial and it looks exactly like a 2004 commercial
made to look like a Norman Rockwell 1954 Coca Cola world, when
everything was like an old dusty drugstore on Main Street in Kansas,
with sarspirilla and Coke at the sodey fountain, and comic books on a
rack, a day when a little boy and a little girl could go out by the
pond and skip stones on the water together without anybody thinking
they were doing Internet pornography or anything. A nostalgia
tear-jerker commercial shot entirely during "golden hour" and with
everything goldenized further in the negative transfer stage. The lad
not only directed it but did the CGI too! I have been told not to post
a copy yet.
When I was his age I was hauling dolly tracks around San Antonio on
Buttercrust Bread commercials, and writing P.R. pamphlets and promo
stuff for Philo's friend "Bob," for minimum wage!
And hauling the infant LAD around, come to think of it.
Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 16 Dec 2004 00:02:57 GMT
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<
look like a Norman Rockwell 1954 Coca Cola world, when everything was like an
old dusty drugstore on Main Street in Kansas, with sarspirilla and Coke at the
sodey fountain, and comic books on a rack, a day when a little boy and a little
girl could go out by the pond and skip stones on the water together without
anybody thinking they were doing Internet pornography or anything. >>
Even that description makes me want to go out
and buy a bottle of the ol' rot gut . Will definately
spot the spot when it airs now.
It involves a drug store. Coke seems to want to
subliminally retain an association with it's original
special ingredient: dRxugstores, bears rolling in *snow*. . .
Santa zooming round the world in a single night. . .
Whitney Houston. . . (or was that Pepsi?)
ooOOoo
It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: nikolai kingsley Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 12:36:04 +1100
--------
> Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
a buck? or $2.80? wtf? delirant isti romani!
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 18:50:11 -0800
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On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 12:36:04 +1100, nikolai kingsley
wrote:
>
>> Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
>
>
>a buck? or $2.80? wtf? delirant isti romani!
Romanes eunt domus!
Subgenius math. You get used to it.
Either that or he means one to eighty bucks.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"If you understand, things are as they are. If you do not understand,
things are as they are."
- Zen Master Gensha
Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:59:01 GMT
--------
In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
:: On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 12:36:04 +1100, nikolai kingsley
:: wrote:
::
:: >
:: >> Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
:: >
:: >
:: >a buck? or $2.80? wtf? delirant isti romani!
::
:: Romanes eunt domus!
::
:: Subgenius math. You get used to it.
::
:: Either that or he means one to eighty bucks.
i think it's a buck off a horse or 2.80 an hour, whichever whatever etc
etc.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 23:34:10 -0800
--------
On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:59:01 GMT, SubGenius Spice
wrote:
>In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
>
>:: On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 12:36:04 +1100, nikolai kingsley
>:: wrote:
>::
>:: >
>:: >> Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
>:: >
>:: >
>:: >a buck? or $2.80? wtf? delirant isti romani!
>::
>:: Romanes eunt domus!
>::
>:: Subgenius math. You get used to it.
>::
>:: Either that or he means one to eighty bucks.
>
>i think it's a buck off a horse or 2.80 an hour, whichever whatever etc
>etc.
so what you have to talk the horse out of a buck?
yeah that would be tricky.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in
grammar."
--Friedrich Nietzsche (1889)
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 23:39:28 -0800
--------
On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 23:34:10 -0800, Zapanaz
wrote:
>On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:59:01 GMT, SubGenius Spice
> wrote:
>
>>In alt.slack, Zapanaz was all like...
>>
>>:: On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 12:36:04 +1100, nikolai kingsley
>>:: wrote:
>>::
>>:: >
>>:: >> Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
>>:: >
>>:: >
>>:: >a buck? or $2.80? wtf? delirant isti romani!
>>::
>>:: Romanes eunt domus!
>>::
>>:: Subgenius math. You get used to it.
>>::
>>:: Either that or he means one to eighty bucks.
>>
>>i think it's a buck off a horse or 2.80 an hour, whichever whatever etc
>>etc.
>
>so what you have to talk the horse out of a buck?
>
>yeah that would be tricky.
Because horses do not carry money. So the horse would have to take
out a loan. And horses are notoriously distrustful of the federal
reserve system. You'd open a whole can of worms with that horse.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Eloi eloi lama sabacthani
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 16:44:02 GMT
--------
In article ,
SubGenius Spice wrote:
> i think it's a buck off a horse or 2.80 an hour, whichever whatever etc
> etc.
If you get bucked off a horse, sometimes you end up as a head in a bed.
Just ask Christopher Reeve. Oops, too late.
--
HellPope Huey
An explanation in 30 minutes or less
or its pointless anyway
Indifference and neglect
often do much more damage than outright dislike.
- "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"
"Look alive, here comes a buzzard."
- Walt Kelly
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 17 Dec 2004 00:03:00 GMT
--------
>Romanes eunt domus!
>
>Subgenius math. You get used to it.
>
>Either that or he means one to eighty bucks.
>
>
>
Whats a Stang Urn?
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang" Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:39:31 -0500
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In article <32c72vF3k76uqU3@individual.net>, nikolai kingsley
wrote:
> > Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
>
>
> a buck? or $2.80? wtf? delirant isti romani!
I said, A BUCK TWO-EIGHTY!!
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 19:24:44 -0800
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <32c72vF3k76uqU3@individual.net>, nikolai kingsley
> wrote:
>
> > > Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
> >
> >
> > a buck? or $2.80? wtf? delirant isti romani!
>
> I said, A BUCK TWO-EIGHTY!!
>
Dang gahz doan harley unnerstan ainglish roun heer. Buck two-eighty
woan bah uh playda scramble aig no moar. Harley gidda canna pop fur ut.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 05:13:08 GMT
--------
In article <41C2517B.45411164@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> Dang gahz doan harley unnerstan ainglish roun heer. Buck two-eighty
> woan bah uh playda scramble aig no moar. Harley gidda canna pop fur ut.
I knew all that pesticide you were using on your garden was going to
bite you in the ass one day and here it is. Too much bad pie =
increasing dendrite decay until your posts sound like they came from
alt.fan.porktopia.thegathering.momsbasement.necrophilia-Osmonds.
--
HellPope Huey
An explanation in 30 minutes or less
or its pointless anyway
Indifference and neglect
often do much more damage than outright dislike.
- "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"
"Look alive, here comes a buzzard."
- Walt Kelly
Correspondent:: Candlemoth Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 23:58:17 -0800
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
>
Gonna date myself here, but when I started it was a buck two sixy-five..
and I was rough-necking.
Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 06:59:51 GMT
--------
In alt.slack, Candlemoth was all like...
:: Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
::
:: >
:: > Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
:: >
::
:: Gonna date myself here, but when I started it was a buck two sixy-five..
:: and I was rough-necking.
what is that? neck-stump fucking without lube?
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang" Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:43:28 -0500
--------
In article ,
SubGenius Spice wrote:
> In alt.slack, Candlemoth was all like...
>
> :: Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> ::
> :: >
> :: > Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
> :: >
> ::
> :: Gonna date myself here, but when I started it was a buck two sixy-five..
> :: and I was rough-necking.
>
> what is that? neck-stump fucking without lube?
>
>
OH, I guess they let you have neck STUMPS where YOU worked. WE were
lucky to get even a mere NECK to fuck AT ALL. We used to DREAM of neck
STUMPS. With a hole and everything... sigh...
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang" Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:41:57 -0500
--------
In article , Candlemoth
wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> >
> > Back then minimum was a buck two eighty an hour.
> >
>
> Gonna date myself here, but when I started it was a buck two sixy-five..
> and I was rough-necking.
Evidently you and I are the only two persons here who ever did manual
labor before they raised minimum to a buck nine fifty or whatever it is
now.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 17 Dec 2004 00:05:18 GMT
--------
>Evidently you and I are the only two persons here who ever did manual
>labor before they raised minimum to a buck nine fifty or whatever it is
>now.
>
Another Stang Myth shot down!
Next thing you know, we'll learn you real name is something lame like "Doug"
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 14:25:58 -0800
--------
On Mon, 13 Dec 2004 15:40:34 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:
>The rancher phoned the local veterinarian, and my father was able to
>reclaim his dog. Strangely, the animal seemed none the worse for wear;
>the lack of injury around his neck suggests that he had not been in the
>snare for very long.
>
>The "Missing Four Days of Gus" remain an utter mystery.
Wasn't he put in charge of the department of homeland security for a
couple days there?
Or am I thinking of another gus.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Summoning his cosmic powers
and blowing slightly from his toes
the psychic emanations flow
- Syd Barret
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 13 Dec 2004 23:40:37 GMT
--------
>My father's little dog, Gus, has been found safe, after having gone
>missing for four days.
>
>Gus was found trapped in a coyote/bobcat wire snare on a neighboring
>ranch. The neighbor, a human, was preparing to shoot the Stang family
>patriarch's beloved Springer Spaniel when he noticed that the animal
>was wearing a collar and tag, and was stupidly wagging its tail at him.
Dogs are such optomists. He's about to get killed, but he is still hoping to
get a scrap from the dinner table afterwards!
>The "Missing Four Days of Gus" remain an utter mystery.
Until Willie Coyote Calles up you dad becuse Gus knocked up his daughter.
>In other news, it is snowing like eighteen and a half motherfuckers in
>Cleveland, and my street looks like it belongs in a 1950s Coca Cola
>Christmas magazine ad.
All that is missing is "Bob" with his Christmas tree and a big box of presents
trying sneek into the house without waking Connie.
>And finally... two mornings ago, upon rising from bed and drawing back
>the curtains to see what sort of day had begun, I was greeted by the
>sight of a giant humanoid butt.
Was not mine. I have not been to Ohio for at least 2 years!
I'd look at one of you SubG neighbors!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: "Paul E. Jamison" Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 18:06:26 -0600
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote in message
news:131220041540342519%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com...
>
> And finally... two mornings ago, upon rising from bed and drawing back
> the curtains to see what sort of day had begun, I was greeted by the
> sight of a giant humanoid butt.
>
Purple Bob Dean shouldn't stick his face in your window like that.
Paul
Correspondent:: polar bear Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 12:09:36 -0800
--------
In article <131220041540342519%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>, "Rev. Ivan
Stang" wrote:
snip
>
> In related news, my son directed a 1950s Coca Cola television ad.
>
It's so hard to find work these days you gotta travel backwards in time
just to get a job.
pb
Correspondent:: "Revi Shankar" Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 17:21:00 -0500
--------
...
> >
> > In related news, my son directed a 1950s Coca Cola television ad.
> >
> It's so hard to find work these days you gotta travel backwards in time
> just to get a job.
>
> pb