Days of Being Wild

Correspondent:: Shining Path of Least Resistance
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 22:54:31 +0900

--------
I suppose every SubG can point to a time in their life
when they loosed themselves from the bonds of all authority
and 'ran wild' in search of true slack. Drank straight from the
bottle. Tore off their collar and outran the dog catcher.
Didn't give a shit freely. The last few weeks have been like
that for me here in old Osaka as my new and rather controlling
young wife went home to Shanghai to have our first son and
left me to my own devices here, at our lovely downtown apartment
across from Osaka's Minami district of high rise bars, lounges,
strip clubs and wank parlors.

Where to begin? First of all, my 'rowdy friends' whom my wife
had banned from the premises were invited back to hobnob
and quaff with. The finest of our Asian 'frop (and remember
'frop, at least the Tibetian crystals, is from Asia) was produced
and consumed with much gusto. Then an inevitalbe sortie into
our bar district for many a battle with the pint and bottle. OK, this
is nothing special, Pope Black of the European subs does this
every weekend, but you have to dig some of the nuances of
our Japanese bar scene to understand the sheer yawning depths
of our decadence, much like when you go scuba diving and swim
over the dropoff point of the reef and look down down down into
the abyss of the ocean. First of all there are no required closing
times. When the Japanese and Foreign bar hostesses get off work
at 1 or 2, they want to drink and they head to several 'end-up'
establishments which I frequent, one of which is right across the
flipping street. And by 'foreign' I mean everyone is here; Israelis,
Ukrainians, Laos, Moldovans, even the Swiss. Pilots and cabin
staff from the airlines and friendly yakuza relaxing after picking up
their protection money. Soon I realized the wife would demand we
move away to the suburbs so it was now or never. I suited up,
strapped on two tanks of church air, and dove in.

Ahh the nights and days blurred into one. Perhaps ten times I woke
up the next day with no memory of when or how I got home. A cursory
search would show nothing missing and all my limbs and digits still
attached. I would later take wounds that would earn me two Purple
Hearts, not enough to run for President but good for stories around
the campfire. On the streets hundreds of touts pushing entrance to
bars with Russian girls, 40 dollars, all the company and drinks you
could skull in an hour. One place, Besame Me Mucho, has a parade
of big-titted latin women who, one after the other, sit topless on
your lap and let you have at them. Mainland Chinese girls offer
"aesthic" salon treatments, the full monty for 120 bucks. All this I
tried my best to restrain myself from, loving the nearness of this
false slack, occasionally negotiating with them, but in the end
reattaching myself to the mast like Jason before the sirens. Yep,
not a neighborhood to raise a kid in.

I gave myself other interesting tasks, like trying to find the best
deal on one of those Robosapien robot toys that is must-have
present this year. Bargaining or even getting information out of
the Japanese can be like pulling teeth, even if you speak Japanese.
Finally found one in East Osaka Toys R Us for 100 dollars and have
been running it through its paces for the last two days. Some local
artistes ran a "kameraoke" contest where, with an instant camera, you
had to take pcitures of 15 required themes and 30 optional ones,
mostly common Japanese themeslike salarymen on the train and high
school girls in uniform. Had a field day taking pictures at our
biggest temple flea market, walking around with a shit eating grin,
camera in one hand and a beer in the other.

As a paen to these last days I wrote an article for Modern Drunkard
Magazine ( a rogue SubG publication if there ever was one, see
www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com ) on boozing in Japan. You may
request it from me directly at slack@zas.att.ne.jp . On the day my son
was born, the Bishop of Ground Zero, our Sub in Hiroshima, came
through Osaka to catch a fligh to Thailand. Instead of joing him I
gave him some Dobbsheads with orders to post them in every guesthouse
and bar he went through. In the old days I would just have cancelled
classes and caught the flight with him. I I fully expect to be off the
sauce for two years after I get the family together here, and be back
in front of the doghouse with my fur washed and my collar on, but have
my head on my paws and a shit-eating grin on my face. Burn your slack
on DVD and replay it over and over and over and over...

Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 17:46:29 GMT

--------
In article ,
Shining Path of Least Resistance wrote:

> I suppose every SubG can point to a time in their life
> when they loosed themselves from the bonds of all authority
> and 'ran wild' in search of true slack. Drank straight from the
> bottle. Tore off their collar and outran the dog catcher.
> Didn't give a shit freely. The last few weeks have been like
> that for me here in old Osaka as my new and rather controlling
> young wife went home to Shanghai to have our first son and
> left me to my own devices here, at our lovely downtown apartment
> across from Osaka's Minami district of high rise bars, lounges,
> strip clubs and wank parlors.
>
> Where to begin? First of all, my 'rowdy friends' whom my wife
> had banned from the premises were invited back to hobnob
> and quaff with. The finest of our Asian 'frop (and remember
> 'frop, at least the Tibetian crystals, is from Asia) was produced
> and consumed with much gusto. Then an inevitalbe sortie into
> our bar district for many a battle with the pint and bottle. OK, this
> is nothing special, Pope Black of the European subs does this
> every weekend, but you have to dig some of the nuances of
> our Japanese bar scene to understand the sheer yawning depths
> of our decadence, much like when you go scuba diving and swim
> over the dropoff point of the reef and look down down down into
> the abyss of the ocean. First of all there are no required closing
> times. When the Japanese and Foreign bar hostesses get off work
> at 1 or 2, they want to drink and they head to several 'end-up'
> establishments which I frequent, one of which is right across the
> flipping street. And by 'foreign' I mean everyone is here; Israelis,
> Ukrainians, Laos, Moldovans, even the Swiss. Pilots and cabin
> staff from the airlines and friendly yakuza relaxing after picking up
> their protection money. Soon I realized the wife would demand we
> move away to the suburbs so it was now or never. I suited up,
> strapped on two tanks of church air, and dove in.

Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
insightful and rewarding manner. Damned shame its so quake-prone. Oh, I
know it has its drawbacks, as described by a good friend who taught
Engrish there for a while, but its shows what can be achieved when
proper manners are at the core of the day-to-day.

Of course, us Americuns don't have no truck with that ferriner crap, as
most of us are too busy trying to drive through a showroom window while
snockered on ether and Red Dog and then trying to get a police officer
to believe Elvis and an angel of the Lord appeared overhead and
distracted us. Domo arigato, spuds.

--

HellPope Huey
I am the Flaming Fudge Bag
on the Doorstep of Complacency.

"You've been more than a friend.
Even heroes can have heroes.
I've looked up to you for so long.
I'm sorry I didn't say so earlier.
There's so much I want to tell you...
not about...being heroes. But about being men.
About knowing that what we did
was always better than than what we are.
That was our gift. Our art."
- "Earth X"

"May I remind you,
we are not all creatures of the night?"
- "The Batman"

Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 15:41:36 -0800

--------
In article

, HellPope
Huey wrote:

snip
> Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> insightful and rewarding manner.

You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.

pn

Correspondent:: Shining Path of Least Resistance
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 11:19:37 +0900

--------
On Sun, 19 Dec 2004 15:41:36 -0800, polar bear wrote:

>In article
>, HellPope
>Huey wrote:
>
>snip
>> Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
>> insightful and rewarding manner.
>
>You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.
The Kabuki-cho side of Shinjuku....If you are ever there, find the
Angel bar, an Irish oasis in a sea of depravity
>
>pn

Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 11:47:28 -0500

--------
In article <9kdcs0dsdgbce1hbvdptp25j5scn8lk9qs@4ax.com>, Shining Path
of Least Resistance wrote:

> On Sun, 19 Dec 2004 15:41:36 -0800, polar bear wrote:
>
> >In article
> >, HellPope
> >Huey wrote:
> >
> >snip
> >> Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> >> insightful and rewarding manner.
> >
> >You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.
> The Kabuki-cho side of Shinjuku....If you are ever there, find the
> Angel bar, an Irish oasis in a sea of depravity
> >
> >pn
>

Oh and congrats on the new XY unit! I had one of those too. Luckily I
had sworn off the booze a couple of years before the lad was born --
AND STAYED OFF IT, UNTIL I WENT TO JAPAN.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 07:11:24 GMT

--------
In article <191220041541368922%bear@pole.com>,
polar bear wrote:
> In article
> , HellPope
> Huey wrote:
>
> snip
> > Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> > insightful and rewarding manner.
>
> You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.

Is it as bad as an ice bar in Lufkin, Texas? If so, then our
similarities are more meaningful than our differences: no matter where
you go, a drunk asshole is a drunk asshole.

--

HellPope Huey
I am the Flaming Fudge Bag
on the Doorstep of Complacency.

"You've been more than a friend.
Even heroes can have heroes.
I've looked up to you for so long.
I'm sorry I didn't say so earlier.
There's so much I want to tell you...
not about...being heroes. But about being men.
About knowing that what we did
was always better than than what we are.
That was our gift. Our art."
- "Earth X"

"May I remind you,
we are not all creatures of the night?"
- "The Batman"

Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 11:46:00 -0500

--------
In article <191220041541368922%bear@pole.com>, polar bear
wrote:

> In article
> , HellPope
> Huey wrote:
>
> snip
> > Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> > insightful and rewarding manner.
>
> You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.
>
> pn

Or Ropungi Station just before the last train.

And how about those classy concentration camps the Japanese set up in
China etc. during the war. Those were real insightful and rewarding
what with the conscripted hooker slaves and torture and so on

All Racists Must Die and that includes Reverse Racists. Death to
Fanatics. Death to Vermin. Death to Executioners.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 17:59:01 GMT

--------

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> In article <191220041541368922%bear@pole.com>, polar bear
> wrote:
>
> > In article
> > , HellPope
> > Huey wrote:
> >
> > snip
> > > Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> > > insightful and rewarding manner.
> >
> > You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.
> >
> > pn
>
> Or Ropungi Station just before the last train.
>
> And how about those classy concentration camps the Japanese set up in
> China etc. during the war. Those were real insightful and rewarding
> what with the conscripted hooker slaves and torture and so on
>
> All Racists Must Die and that includes Reverse Racists. Death to
> Fanatics. Death to Vermin. Death to Executioners.
>

When I was working with chemical ordnance, one of the guys on the crew
had the book, "Unit 731," that was about the Japanese operations in China.
I'd never heard of that until then. There's quite a bit about Nanking on the
web, too. Amazon.com has the book.

But you are right, and when 300,000,000 Red Chinese come a-knockin'
on your door, you should not judge them by the color of their uniform, but
conduct sit-down interviews with them individually to evaluate the content
of their character.

Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 12:38:18 -0800

--------
In article <41C712D6.74050C2@ranunculus.org>, König Prüß, GfbAEV
wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> > In article <191220041541368922%bear@pole.com>, polar bear
> > wrote:
> >
> > > In article
> > > , HellPope
> > > Huey wrote:
> > >
> > > snip
> > > > Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> > > > insightful and rewarding manner.
> > >
> > > You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.
> > >
> > > pn
> >
> > Or Ropungi Station just before the last train.
> >
> > And how about those classy concentration camps the Japanese set up in
> > China etc. during the war. Those were real insightful and rewarding
> > what with the conscripted hooker slaves and torture and so on
> >
> > All Racists Must Die and that includes Reverse Racists. Death to
> > Fanatics. Death to Vermin. Death to Executioners.
> >
>
> When I was working with chemical ordnance, one of the guys on the crew
> had the book, "Unit 731," that was about the Japanese operations in China.
> I'd never heard of that until then. There's quite a bit about Nanking on the
> web, too. Amazon.com has the book.
>
> But you are right, and when 300,000,000 Red Chinese come a-knockin'
> on your door, you should not judge them by the color of their uniform, but
> conduct sit-down interviews with them individually to evaluate the content
> of their character.

No danger of that in America:
http://www.startribune.com/stories/484/5143823.html

" Nearly half of all Americans say the U.S. government should restrict
the civil liberties of Muslim Americans, according to a nationwide
poll.
The survey conducted by Cornell University found that Republicans and
people who described themselves as highly religious were more apt to
support curtailing Muslims' civil liberties than Democrats or people
who are less religious"

Republicans and the highly religious? Now who would have guessed?

pb

Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 20:57:51 GMT

--------

polar bear wrote:

> In article <41C712D6.74050C2@ranunculus.org>, König Prüß, GfbAEV
> wrote:
>
> > "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> > > In article <191220041541368922%bear@pole.com>, polar bear
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > > In article
> > > > , HellPope
> > > > Huey wrote:
> > > >
> > > > snip
> > > > > Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> > > > > insightful and rewarding manner.
> > > >
> > > > You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.
> > > >
> > > > pn
> > >
> > > Or Ropungi Station just before the last train.
> > >
> > > And how about those classy concentration camps the Japanese set up in
> > > China etc. during the war. Those were real insightful and rewarding
> > > what with the conscripted hooker slaves and torture and so on
> > >
> > > All Racists Must Die and that includes Reverse Racists. Death to
> > > Fanatics. Death to Vermin. Death to Executioners.
> > >
> >
> > When I was working with chemical ordnance, one of the guys on the crew
> > had the book, "Unit 731," that was about the Japanese operations in China.
> > I'd never heard of that until then. There's quite a bit about Nanking on the
> > web, too. Amazon.com has the book.
> >
> > But you are right, and when 300,000,000 Red Chinese come a-knockin'
> > on your door, you should not judge them by the color of their uniform, but
> > conduct sit-down interviews with them individually to evaluate the content
> > of their character.
>
> No danger of that in America:
> http://www.startribune.com/stories/484/5143823.html
>
> " Nearly half of all Americans say the U.S. government should restrict
> the civil liberties of Muslim Americans, according to a nationwide
> poll.
> The survey conducted by Cornell University found that Republicans and
> people who described themselves as highly religious were more apt to
> support curtailing Muslims' civil liberties than Democrats or people
> who are less religious"
>
> Republicans and the highly religious? Now who would have guessed?
>
> pb

You wouldn't have figured that 1st Amendment and the need for separation
of Churh/State would have been forgotten so soon after the Divine Right thing
with the British, but apparently so.

I had read that poll about restricting Muslims, but these days you can get
50% of America to agree to anything.

About two years ago, Dubya was visiting Canada and he said that he and
the Canadians rule by Divine Right. I think that he meant to say that he rules
by the Grace of God, and surely, through just consent of the governed, because
it's that Divine Right Church stuff that got the Brits ass kicked.

But look at it this way: the US is about a half a click off suspension of all
civil rights.
http://www.apfn.org/apfn/camps.htm

Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 12:30:30 -0800

--------
In article <201220041146002561%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>, "Rev. Ivan
Stang" wrote:

> In article <191220041541368922%bear@pole.com>, polar bear
> wrote:
>
> > In article
> > , HellPope
> > Huey wrote:
> >
> > snip
> > > Japan is a classy place that handles its debauchery in a very
> > > insightful and rewarding manner.
> >
> > You've obviously never been to Shinjuku on a friday night.
> >
> > pn
>
> Or Ropungi Station just before the last train.
>
> And how about those classy concentration camps the Japanese set up in
> China etc. during the war. Those were real insightful and rewarding
> what with the conscripted hooker slaves and torture and so on
>
> All Racists Must Die and that includes Reverse Racists. Death to
> Fanatics. Death to Vermin. Death to Executioners.

And most of all, DEATH TO EXTREMISTS!!!

pb

Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 16:57:08 -0500

--------
In article <201220041230306704%bear@pole.com>, polar bear
wrote:

> In article <201220041146002561%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>, "Rev. Ivan
> Stang" wrote:
>

> >
> > All Racists Must Die and that includes Reverse Racists. Death to
> > Fanatics. Death to Vermin. Death to Executioners.
>
> And most of all, DEATH TO EXTREMISTS!!!
>

Now THAT is going TOO FAR.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB

Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 15:28:16 -0800

--------
On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 16:57:08 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:

>> And most of all, DEATH TO EXTREMISTS!!!
>>
>
>
>Now THAT is going TOO FAR.

too far in the wrong direction is sometimes not far enough in the
right direction.

don't test this if you live on an island.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Let 'em learn the facts of life from context!
- The Rev. Ivan Stang

Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 03:30:12 GMT

--------
In article <201220041230306704%bear@pole.com>,
polar bear wrote:

> And most of all, DEATH TO EXTREMISTS!!!

Well, that means we're both worm chow and there will be no one to
attend our funerals except Mr. Hankie and Nenslo.

--

HellPope Huey
"Wax my mainmast, matey",
said Popeye's gay cousin, Cockeye.

"When fascism comes to this country,
it won't come wearing jackboots;
it'll come wearing sneakers with lights in them
and it'll have a smiley face
and a Michael Jordan t-shirt on."
- George Carlin

"Those Acts of God really stick it in
and break it off, don't they?"
- "From Dusk Till Dawn"

Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 03:28:53 GMT

--------
In article <201220041146002561%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>,
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> Death to Fanatics. Death to Vermin. Death to Executioners.

You're going to undermine your main audience if too many people follow
through on your directive. Remember, the fanatics are mad at you for not
handing out "Bob's" home phone number. I think it safe to say that
Pentecostals would not take over those positions as HoS listeners unless
you changed the content for the worse.

Besides, vermin reproduce faster than Mexican Catholic yeast cells in a
warm, wet tennis shoe. Too much WORK, doktor, EIEIEIEIE!!!!

--

HellPope Huey
"Wax my mainmast, matey",
said Popeye's gay cousin, Cockeye.

"When fascism comes to this country,
it won't come wearing jackboots;
it'll come wearing sneakers with lights in them
and it'll have a smiley face
and a Michael Jordan t-shirt on."
- George Carlin

"Those Acts of God really stick it in
and break it off, don't they?"
- "From Dusk Till Dawn"

Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 21:08:49 -0800

--------
Shining Path of Least Resistance wrote:
>
> I suppose every SubG can point to a time in their life
> when they loosed themselves from the bonds of all authority
> and 'ran wild' in search of true slack. Drank straight from the
> bottle. Tore off their collar and outran the dog catcher.
> Didn't give a shit freely.

You must have missed the post where I said I had watched Kitty Foyle and
In The Good Old Summertime both in the same day.

Correspondent:: Shining Path of Least Resistance
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 22:46:20 +0900

--------
On Sun, 19 Dec 2004 21:08:49 -0800, nenslo wrote:

>Shining Path of Least Resistance wrote:
>>
>> I suppose every SubG can point to a time in their life
>> when they loosed themselves from the bonds of all authority
>> and 'ran wild' in search of true slack. Drank straight from the
>> bottle. Tore off their collar and outran the dog catcher.
>> Didn't give a shit freely.
>
>You must have missed the post where I said I had watched Kitty Foyle and
>In The Good Old Summertime both in the same day.

You're right, I did miss it.

Correspondent:: nikolai kingsley
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 21:42:59 +1100

--------

> across from Osaka's Minami district of high rise bars, lounges,
> strip clubs and wank parlors.

the Wank Parlor. because it's better, somehow, if you aren't wanking at
home.

who knows. this could lead to Wank Tourism; go to a place specifically
to wank there.

Correspondent:: Shining Path of Least Resistance
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 22:48:20 +0900

--------
On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 21:42:59 +1100, nikolai kingsley
wrote:

>
>> across from Osaka's Minami district of high rise bars, lounges,
>> strip clubs and wank parlors.
>
>
>
>the Wank Parlor. because it's better, somehow, if you aren't wanking at
>home.
>
>who knows. this could lead to Wank Tourism; go to a place specifically
>to wank there.

Well, it is a young lady who is wanking you off. In a uniform.

Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 20 Dec 2004 22:54:48 GMT

--------
<< In a uniform. >>

Probably one of those parochial school jobbies.

G'nagrrgnlglgglg*

[[nosebleed]]

ooOOoo

It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat