Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 19:22:15 GMT
--------
kdetal wrote:
>>Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>>>kdetal wrote:
>>>> I know there is only one place to turn when in dire need of the utmost and
>>>> forceful persuasion of the contemptuous kind. Please remind me why one
>>must
>>>> just fucking get over it when an infatuation is not mutual. Be harsh!
>>>
>>>My advice is to stop asking alt.slack for this kind of advice. Figure
>>>out your shit on your own. We can't help; we're only good for a laugh.
>>
>>
>> Yep, asking for advice here is kind of like whippin' out your pecker in a
>>whore house.
>
>You don't "get" it.
>This obviously means you are not part of the double secret probation inner
>circle.
>
I can't afford it! I spent all my money at the whore house!
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 02:07:00 GMT
--------
In article
,
König Prüß, GfbAEV wrote:
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> >kdetal wrote:
> >> I know there is only one place to turn when in dire need of the utmost and
> >> forceful persuasion of the contemptuous kind. Please remind me why one
> >> must
> >> just fucking get over it when an infatuation is not mutual. Be harsh!
> >
> >My advice is to stop asking alt.slack for this kind of advice. Figure
> >out your shit on your own. We can't help; we're only good for a laugh.
>
> Yep, asking for advice here is kind of like whippin' out your pecker in a
> whore house.
More like "in a sausage factory."
--
HellPope Huey
Why is it so hot in here?...
Oh yeah. That stuff I did.
"Religion is kinda like nuclear power:
you split the atom this way, you get electricity;
you split it that way, you get an atomic bomb."
- Jon Stewart
"We get a something-falling from-the-sky memo every week.
We've put over 17,000 things in space
and remarkably,
not one person has been hit."
- "The West Wing"
Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 18:25:16 GMT
--------
In alt.slack, kdetal was all like...
:: I know there is only one place to turn when in dire need of the utmost and
:: forceful persuasion of the contemptuous kind.
inward.
:: Please remind me why one must
:: just fucking get over it when an infatuation is not mutual. Be harsh!
it seems you don't want to, else you wouldn't be asking alt.slack why.
Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (kdetal)
Date: 12 Dec 2004 19:28:33 GMT
--------
SubGenius Spice wrote:
>In alt.slack, kdetal was all like...
>
>:: I know there is only one place to turn when in dire need of the utmost and
>:: forceful persuasion of the contemptuous kind.
>
>inward.
No, Shithead. Inward gives me the smooth flow of buddh-like wisdom permeating
through my entire being where all the problems of the world are seen in their
true and rightful miniscule perspective.
Why the hell would I want that?
I want the skewed, slightly mentally off, bitter, world weary, dry, hilarious,
nasty real life musings of those like ME who might just as soon push you off
the curb to get the laugh as expart the distilled wisdom that only a long
suffering decidedly un-genius denizen of unrealized potential can do with
alternate pathos, cynicism, laughter, communion, disgust and complete
indifference.
>:: Please remind me why one must
>:: just fucking get over it when an infatuation is not mutual. Be harsh!
>it seems you don't want to, else you wouldn't be asking alt.slack why.
You heartless whore!
This is life! What the hell is an anonymous humour newsgroup for if not to bask
in the misery of existance with drunken laughter, one fist in the air and the
other up someone elses ass!
--
Pissing me off never means that you're right. Only that you are an idiot.
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 21:47:36 GMT
--------
kdetal wrote:
> No, Shithead. Inward gives me the smooth flow of buddh-like wisdom permeating
> through my entire being where all the problems of the world are seen in their
> true and rightful miniscule perspective.
>
> Why the hell would I want that?
>
> I want the skewed, slightly mentally off, bitter, world weary, dry, hilarious,
> nasty real life musings of those like ME who might just as soon push you off
> the curb to get the laugh as expart the distilled wisdom that only a long
> suffering decidedly un-genius denizen of unrealized potential can do with
> alternate pathos, cynicism, laughter, communion, disgust and complete
> indifference.
Why?
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 22:59:18 GMT
--------
In article ,
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> kdetal wrote:
> > I want the skewed, slightly mentally off, bitter, world weary, dry,
> > hilarious, nasty real life musings of those like ME who might just as soon push you
> > off the curb to get the laugh as expart the distilled wisdom that only a long
> > suffering decidedly un-genius denizen of unrealized potential can do with
> > alternate pathos, cynicism, laughter, communion, disgust and complete
> > indifference.
>
> Why?
Because we are unusually tolerant of the run-on-sentence impaired.
That's just the kind of great folks we ARE.
--
HellPope Huey
Everyone put your left shoe in this bag
or the kid here GETS it
I was brought up in that other service;
but I knew from the first that the Devil
was my natural master and captain and friend.
I saw that he was in the right
and that the world cringed to his conqueror only from fear.
- George Bernard Shaw, "The Devil's Disciple"
God does not play dice with the universe;
He plays an ineffable game of his own devising,
which might be compared,
from the perspective of any of the other players,
to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker
in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes,
with a dealer who won't tell you the rules
and who smiles all the time.
- Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
Correspondent:: Artemia Salina
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 02:14:33 -0500
--------
On Tue, 14 Dec 2004 21:47:36 +0000, Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> kdetal wrote:
>
>> No, Shithead. Inward gives me the smooth flow of buddh-like wisdom permeating
>> through my entire being where all the problems of the world are seen in their
>> true and rightful miniscule perspective.
>>
>> Why the hell would I want that?
>>
>> I want the skewed, slightly mentally off, bitter, world weary, dry, hilarious,
>> nasty real life musings of those like ME who might just as soon push you off
>> the curb to get the laugh as expart the distilled wisdom that only a long
>> suffering decidedly un-genius denizen of unrealized potential can do with
>> alternate pathos, cynicism, laughter, communion, disgust and complete
>> indifference.
>
> Why?
Because you're a DOPE whose brains are too big for his skull.
That's why.
--
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 13 Dec 2004 17:11:46 -0800
--------
I agree wholeheartedly. NOBODY wants to give up on that kind of REAL
HEARTACHE and PAIN. I mean, it sucks, sure, but isn't it GREAT? Henry
Rollins had a great bit about this, where you just sit in your room all
day wearing all black clothes and writing black poetry on black paper
with a black pen, and god damnit, everything you write is BRILLIANT at
the time and then you read it a week later and say "I am the prince of
sadness, nbody will ever understand the depths of my sorrow...what the
FUCK was wrong with me last week?" Everyone secretly LOVES being
depressed about LOVE. My advice is to go with it. Lock yourself in your
room and listen to some Ronnie James Dio-era Black Sabbath songs where
he's screaming "EVIL WOMAN! LOOK OUT! EEEEVEEELL WOAH-MAN!". It's the
only time the songs will be good to you, so get it in before it's over.
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 00:21:01 GMT
--------
kdetal wrote:
>I know there is only one place to turn when in dire need of the utmost and
>forceful persuasion of the contemptuous kind. Please remind me why one must
>just fucking get over it when an infatuation is not mutual. Be harsh!
>--
>Truths are recognized by those who recognize truth.
>
>
The Bible's Top 5 Ways to Get a Wife
1. Marry a captive woman.
--Deuteronomy 21:11-13
2. Marry a prostitute.
--Hosea 1:2-3
3. Find a man with seven daughters and then impress him.
--Exodus 2:16-21
4. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
--Esther 2:3-4
5. A wife?...No!
--1 Corinthians 7:32-38
http://channels.netscape.com/ns/love/package.jsp?name=fte/biblegetwives/biblegetwives
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 02:28:03 GMT
--------
"Infatuation" implies near-mania of the high-school aroma. "Adults,"
even Yeti adults, might screw like crack weasels on the first date, but
the real test comes after about a year, when you've had at least one
honest argument, coped with one another being sick and been introduced
to family & friends. If you can still casually agree on where to eat and
what movie to see, you're WAY more on the Main Line than many people
realize. Its really that pedestrian, except that it includes screwing
like crack weasels often enough to... um... oh, you know.
If its one-sided, you didn't LOSE anything, 'cause it t'weren't gonna
happen anyway. Call it momentary pheremone cross-fade, eat a whole Oreo
pie and think of how much worse it would be if you forced your square
peg into their all-too-round hole. Um, that sounds nasty -and fun- but
you know what I mean.
Infatuation is temporary and will fade at a speed on a commensurate
scale relative to the first time you see The Adored One hanging their
undies over the shower rail. Unless you're both into that, of course.
Screw all that Soul Mate and One True Love crap; find someone who likes
most of your jokes and will give a shit when you have the flu. There's
your real mother lode.
--
HellPope Huey
Why is it so hot in here?...
Oh yeah. That stuff I did.
"Religion is kinda like nuclear power:
you split the atom this way, you get electricity;
you split it that way, you get an atomic bomb."
- Jon Stewart
"We get a something-falling from-the-sky memo every week.
We've put over 17,000 things in space
and remarkably,
not one person has been hit."
- "The West Wing"
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 11:58:48 -0500
--------
In article <20041211202232.23249.00002022@mb-m03.aol.com>, kdetal
wrote:
> I know there is only one place to turn when in dire need of the utmost and
> forceful persuasion of the contemptuous kind. Please remind me why one must
> just fucking get over it when an infatuation is not mutual. Be harsh!
> --
> Truths are recognized by those who recognize truth.
>
>
The odds are EXCELLENT that the day will come when you are hollering
out, "PRAISE "BOB" AND GOD that nothing came of What's His Name that
one time, back in 2004! Why, had I gotten bogged down with old What's
His Name, back when I was an ignorant lamebrained numbskull, I probably
would never have met Phil Intheblank -- and certainly never would have
IMAGINED that this [unimaginable, eye-wateringly intense
future-uber-Slack] was even REMOTELY POSSIBLE, much less THE
CONTINUOUS, SELF-FEEDING IMPLOSION OF UNUTTERABLE PLEASURE that life
has become, SINCE THAT IDIOT DUMPED ME."
This isn't to say that you won't have to undergo an interim period of
seemingly endless purgatory in which your bitterness approaches that of
a disfigured embittered evil genius cartoon movie villain. You can
hurry this stage along, however, by NURSING that bitterness. You can
burst the boil and pop the pustule that much sooner, and get to the
Unutterable Drooling Slack part, if you confront your Hate and FEED it.
Let the SubGenius PO Box in Cleveland represent your HATE. Let your
Conspiracy-born MONEY represent the FOOD for that ETERNAL GRUDGE.
Now FEED that HATE.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: cmiller@mozuna.com (Lamus)
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 20:44:42 -0600
--------
"Affection" in the sense of grasping or covetous stinging itch to caress
a favored object or being, like a fickle paramour her siamese cat, or a
fickle timed tonguelicking girl her boy lover, the nervous twitch to
"hold" "keep" "possess" "caress" "fondle" "stroke" "hug" --- all
transient as a bubble in the sea of time and not anything more than the
transient craving for a candy bar, not any nobler or exaltable as human
love, just a lot of nerve wracked twaddle of the restless fingers.. For
behold, it's because they're in love with themselves that they want you
to look at them all the time and keep drawing your attention -- in love
with themselves and not with you, for if they really loved you, they
would not disturb your natural tranquility of mind --- Therefore the
most beneficial teaching in this world is the teaching by silence and
example of silence and repose ---- But some must bake the bread, and
some eat it, and the bakers are agitated --- Bake therefore yr own
bread, calm. If you dote on the love of another human being, every time
you disturb (her him) to draw attention to your loving, you do her a
disservice as of hating. Beware of lechery and then beware of the
conspiring earnestness.. Be like a junk drunk punk, hang motionless in
the wait for the time to wheel around. This is why a man doesn't need a
woman, or a cigarette, or a house. He needs just food for sustenance and
a decision to exercise his free will in thought, and action, and thought
is the shadow of action, which is a shadow also.
Warm hand and cold hand
held together manifest
The phenomena of contamination
Setting up the condition
For a perception of 2 sensations
Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (kdetal)
Date: 19 Dec 2004 02:54:52 GMT
--------
Cmiller wrote:
>"Affection" in the sense of grasping or covetous stinging itch to caress
>a favored object or being, like a fickle paramour her siamese cat, or a
>fickle timed tonguelicking girl her boy lover, the nervous twitch to
>"hold" "keep" "possess" "caress" "fondle" "stroke" "hug" --- all
>transient as a bubble in the sea of time and not anything more than the
>transient craving for a candy bar, not any nobler or exaltable as human
>love, just a lot of nerve wracked twaddle of the restless fingers.. For
>behold, it's because they're in love with themselves that they want you
>to look at them all the time and keep drawing your attention -- in love
>with themselves and not with you, for if they really loved you, they
>would not disturb your natural tranquility of mind --- Therefore the
>most beneficial teaching in this world is the teaching by silence and
>example of silence and repose ---- But some must bake the bread, and
>some eat it, and the bakers are agitated --- Bake therefore yr own
>bread, calm. If you dote on the love of another human being, every time
>you disturb (her him) to draw attention to your loving, you do her a
>disservice as of hating. Beware of lechery and then beware of the
>conspiring earnestness.. Be like a junk drunk punk, hang motionless in
>the wait for the time to wheel around. This is why a man doesn't need a
>woman, or a cigarette, or a house. He needs just food for sustenance and
>a decision to exercise his free will in thought, and action, and thought
>is the shadow of action, which is a shadow also.
Good god man-go live on top of a mountain!
--
I do what I want. That's why I always win.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 03:01:52 GMT
--------
In article <00041118214430.OUI92.cmiller@mozuna.com>,
cmiller@mozuna.com (Lamus) wrote:
> "Affection" in the sense of grasping or covetous stinging itch to caress
> a favored object or being, like a fickle paramour her siamese cat, or a
> fickle timed tonguelicking girl her boy lover, the nervous twitch to
> "hold" "keep" "possess" "caress" "fondle" "stroke" "hug" --- all
> transient as a bubble in the sea of time and not anything more than the
> transient craving for a candy bar, not any nobler or exaltable as human
> love, just a lot of nerve wracked twaddle of the restless fingers.. For
> behold, it's because they're in love with themselves that they want you
> to look at them all the time and keep drawing your attention -- in love
> with themselves and not with you, for if they really loved you, they
> would not disturb your natural tranquility of mind --- Therefore the
> most beneficial teaching in this world is the teaching by silence and
> example of silence and repose ---- But some must bake the bread, and
> some eat it, and the bakers are agitated --- Bake therefore yr own
> bread, calm. If you dote on the love of another human being, every time
> you disturb (her him) to draw attention to your loving, you do her a
> disservice as of hating. Beware of lechery and then beware of the
> conspiring earnestness.. Be like a junk drunk punk, hang motionless in
> the wait for the time to wheel around. This is why a man doesn't need a
> woman, or a cigarette, or a house. He needs just food for sustenance and
> a decision to exercise his free will in thought, and action, and thought
> is the shadow of action, which is a shadow also.
I knew you could convert your stuff into German and Korean and the
like, but I was not aware of the one for Gibberese. How amusingly gauche!
--
HellPope Huey
I pissed right into the bottled city of Kandor
Hey, even Kryptonian flowers need nitrogen.
"Its disheartening to know that you live
in a country that's just teeming
with semi-literate, mediocre psychos."
- Henry Rollins
"Sometimes its like you're two different people."
"Well, that's three less than I used to be."
- "Stark Raving Mad"
Correspondent:: cmiller@mozuna.com (Lamus)
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 23:42:30 -0600
--------
On December 19 2004, HellPope Huey wrote:
> How amusingly gauche!
High praise indeed.
Correspondent:: Candlemoth
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 00:39:03 -0800
--------
Lamus wrote:
> On December 19 2004, HellPope Huey wrote:
>
>>How amusingly gauche!
>
>
> High praise indeed.
>
Oh... So y'all read the whole thing??
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 17:50:15 GMT
--------
In article ,
Candlemoth wrote:
> Lamus wrote:
> > On December 19 2004, HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> >>How amusingly gauche!
> >
> > High praise indeed.
>
> Oh... So y'all read the whole thing??
Always. Its the only way to get a case of the heaves worth grappling
with. Yes, with Dobbs, you must go at things whole-heartedly and
whole-assedly or you wind up having to eat the other half of some things
you didn't want the FIRST HALF OF. This is the line of demarcation
between sacred stupidity and garden-variety halfassedness. Yes, that's a
real word I just made up. You know what I mean.
--
HellPope Huey
I am the Flaming Fudge Bag
on the Doorstep of Complacency.
"You've been more than a friend.
Even heroes can have heroes.
I've looked up to you for so long.
I'm sorry I didn't say so earlier.
There's so much I want to tell you...
not about...being heroes. But about being men.
About knowing that what we did
was always better than than what we are.
That was our gift. Our art."
- "Earth X"
"May I remind you,
we are not all creatures of the night?"
- "The Batman"
Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 18:28:19 GMT
--------
In alt.slack, HellPope Huey was all like...
:: halfassedness. Yes, that's a
:: real word I just made up. You know what I mean.
i'm partial to lunaticular myself.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 07:14:19 GMT
--------
In article ,
SubGenius Spice wrote:
> In alt.slack, HellPope Huey was all like...
>
> :: halfassedness. Yes, that's a
> :: real word I just made up. You know what I mean.
>
> i'm partial to lunaticular myself.
Many people are. That's how the Lunaticularians got a Congressional
lobbyist in place. They seemed so friendly at first and then WHAM!!!
--
HellPope Huey
I am the Flaming Fudge Bag
on the Doorstep of Complacency.
"You've been more than a friend.
Even heroes can have heroes.
I've looked up to you for so long.
I'm sorry I didn't say so earlier.
There's so much I want to tell you...
not about...being heroes. But about being men.
About knowing that what we did
was always better than than what we are.
That was our gift. Our art."
- "Earth X"
"May I remind you,
we are not all creatures of the night?"
- "The Batman"