FAMILY DOCTOR: "Don't Be a Grouchy Oldtimer"
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Wed, 01 Dec 2004 19:37:29 -0800
--------
David James Polewka wrote:
>
>
> Don't Be a Grouchy Oldtimer, by Dr. Theodore R. Van Dellen
...
>
> The senior citizen who enjoys reasonably good health should
> stop talking about the miseries of old age, how no one loves him,
> and how much time he has on his hands. There is no easier way
> to lose respect and affection than to become garrulous, obstinate,
> grouchy and quarrelsome.
So what am I supposed to do, JUST SIT THERE? Don't you see this leaves
me with NOTHING????
Correspondent:: gheston@hiwaay.net (Gary Heston)
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004 03:57:20 -0000
--------
In article <41AE8DF9.12D2E965@yahoox.com>, nenslo wrote:
>David James Polewka wrote:
>> Don't Be a Grouchy Oldtimer, by Dr. Theodore R. Van Dellen
>...
>> The senior citizen who enjoys reasonably good health should
>> stop talking about the miseries of old age, how no one loves him,
>> and how much time he has on his hands. There is no easier way
>> to lose respect and affection than to become garrulous, obstinate,
>> grouchy and quarrelsome.
>So what am I supposed to do, JUST SIT THERE? Don't you see this leaves
>me with NOTHING????
You and Kent both.
And in a decade or so, I'll join you.
Gary
--
Gary Heston gheston@hiwaay.net
"Sept. 11, 2001, already a day of immeasurable tragedy, cannot be
the day liberty perished in this country." Judge Gerald Tjoflat
Correspondent:: joseywales@outlaw.nospam (David James Polewka)
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004 06:12:17 GMT
--------
nenslo wrote:
>David James Polewka wrote:
>>
>>
>> Don't Be a Grouchy Oldtimer, by Dr. Theodore R. Van Dellen
>...
>>
>> The senior citizen who enjoys reasonably good health should
>> stop talking about the miseries of old age, how no one loves him,
>> and how much time he has on his hands. There is no easier way
>> to lose respect and affection than to become garrulous, obstinate,
>> grouchy and quarrelsome.
>
>So what am I supposed to do, JUST SIT THERE? Don't you see this leaves
>me with NOTHING????
No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE !!@!
=========================
"Endeavor to persevere"
=========================
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Wed, 01 Dec 2004 22:24:13 -0800
--------
On Thu, 02 Dec 2004 06:12:17 GMT, (David James Polewka) wrote:
> !!@!
that emale address is broke, I tried to mail you but it just bounces
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
No, I told you to go to Coxes and buy a seersucker suit!
- Col. Sphinx Drummond
Correspondent:: Ronan the Waiter
Date: Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:21 -0500
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Thu, 02 Dec 2004 06:12:17 GMT, (David James Polewka) wrote:
>
>
>>!!@!
>
>
> that emale address is broke, I tried to mail you but it just bounces
>
>
... hey!!! you're funny!
b
--
... this is my sig. it's one of the best
sigs on the net.i know what you're asking
yourself. 'did he post 5 or 6 messages'?
well, in all the confusion i kinda lost
track myself. so you gotta ask yourself
one question 'do you feel lucky'? huh,
DO YA? DO YA PUNK'? GO FOR IT, MAKE MY BED!!!'
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:31 -0800
--------
On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:21 -0500, Ronan the Waiter
wrote:
>... hey!!! you're funny!
not really.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Why is psychology 3-dimensional?"
"Because space is 3-dimensional."
- George Hammond, unmedicated visionary
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sun, 05 Dec 2004 06:19:36 GMT
--------
In article ,
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:21 -0500, Ronan the Waiter
> wrote:
>
> >... hey!!! you're funny!
>
> not really.
The irony really slams your kidneys together like cymbals, don't it?
--
HellPope Huey
Yes, I did indeed slap your skank mama. What of it?
"The leathery, undeteriorative and
almost indestructable quality
was an inherent attribute
of the thing's form of organization
and pertained to some paleogean cycle
of invertebrate evolution
utterly beyond our powers of speculation."
- H. P. Lovecraft
"More reliable than my shoes and as pretty as my hair."
- user review of Yamaha's CS6X synthesizer
Correspondent:: The Vampire Skold
Date: Sat, 04 Dec 2004 23:28:36 -0700
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article ,
> Zapanaz wrote:
>
>>On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:21 -0500, Ronan the Waiter
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>... hey!!! you're funny!
>>
>>not really.
>
>
> The irony really slams your kidneys together like cymbals, don't it?
>
The urine has the tint and glint of blood but in the watery pool it is
all golden.
--
Perhaps there is a chameleon in your leprechaun.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 04 Dec 2004 22:42:05 -0800
--------
On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 23:28:36 -0700, The Vampire Skold
wrote:
>HellPope Huey wrote:
>> In article ,
>> Zapanaz wrote:
>>
>>>On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:21 -0500, Ronan the Waiter
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>... hey!!! you're funny!
>>>
>>>not really.
>>
>>
>> The irony really slams your kidneys together like cymbals, don't it?
>>
>
>The urine has the tint and glint of blood but in the watery pool it is
>all golden.
that's kinda gross, man.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
La reine est un fromage!
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sun, 05 Dec 2004 16:36:40 GMT
--------
In article ,
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 23:28:36 -0700, The Vampire Skold
> wrote:
> > >HellPope Huey wrote:
> >> In article ,
> >> The irony really slams your kidneys together like cymbals, don't it?
> >>
> >The urine has the tint and glint of blood but in the watery pool it is
> >all golden.
>
> that's kinda gross, man.
It wasn't the image I was looking for over coffee, no, but damn hell
crap, nobody MADE me read it. Lie down with scum, get up smelling like
J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.
--
HellPope Huey
Noted Broadway Producer of "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Rabbis,"
"Sing A Song of Soylent"
and "The Genetically-Engineered Mouse
With Three Replacement Penises Growing From Its Back"
"I lit a cigarette that tasted like
a plumber's handkerchief."
- Raymond Chandler
Talent hits a target no one else can hit;
genius hits a target no one else can see.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Correspondent:: Ronan the Waiter
Date: Sun, 05 Dec 2004 17:18:11 -0500
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 23:28:36 -0700, The Vampire Skold
> wrote:
>
>
>>HellPope Huey wrote:
>>
>>>In article ,
>>> Zapanaz wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:21 -0500, Ronan the Waiter
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>... hey!!! you're funny!
>>>>
>>>>not really.
>>>
>>>
>>> The irony really slams your kidneys together like cymbals, don't it?
>>>
>>
>>The urine has the tint and glint of blood but in the watery pool it is
>>all golden.
>
>
> that's kinda gross, man.
>
>
... no it's deep
b
--
... this is my sig. it's one of the best
sigs on the net.i know what you're asking
yourself. 'did he post 5 or 6 messages'?
well, in all the confusion i kinda lost
track myself. so you gotta ask yourself
one question 'do you feel lucky'? huh,
DO YA? DO YA PUNK'? GO FOR IT, MAKE MY BED!!!'
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sun, 05 Dec 2004 14:35:50 -0800
--------
On Sun, 05 Dec 2004 17:18:11 -0500, Ronan the Waiter
wrote:
>Zapanaz wrote:
>> On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 23:28:36 -0700, The Vampire Skold
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>HellPope Huey wrote:
>>>
>>>>In article ,
>>>> Zapanaz wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:59:21 -0500, Ronan the Waiter
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>... hey!!! you're funny!
>>>>>
>>>>>not really.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The irony really slams your kidneys together like cymbals, don't it?
>>>>
>>>
>>>The urine has the tint and glint of blood but in the watery pool it is
>>>all golden.
>>
>>
>> that's kinda gross, man.
>>
>>
>... no it's deep
>
>b
it's deeply gross
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Actual dialogue between Ronald Reagan and
Nancy Reagan (nee Davis), in the movie,
"Hellcats of the Navy":
(standing in front of a stack of naval mines)
Nancy: What are you going to do after the war?
Ronald: I told you a hundred times.
Nancy: I want to hear it once more.
Ronald: I'm going into the surplus business.
I'm gonna buy up all the old mines
and sell them to the man in the moon.
Nancy: But there's no water on the moon!
Ronald: How do you know so much about the moon?
Nancy: I know a lot about it. I spend all my
time looking at it when you're away.
That's how it still is with me.
Ronald: It's time for me to go now.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 06 Dec 2004 03:14:39 GMT
--------
If you hated liver, you'll positively REVILE the boiled kidney dip.
--
HellPope Huey
Noted Broadway Producer of "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Rabbis,"
"Sing A Song of Soylent"
and "The Genetically-Engineered Mouse
With Three Replacement Penises Growing From Its Back"
"I lit a cigarette that tasted like
a plumber's handkerchief."
- Raymond Chandler
Talent hits a target no one else can hit;
genius hits a target no one else can see.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comSHUTUP (AssCo Assc)
Date: 06 Dec 2004 03:40:29 GMT
--------
<< If you hated liver, you'll positively REVILE
the boiled kidney dip. >>
Try the haggis.
1 sheep's gut
heart, lung, kidney and liver of sheep
salt
pepper
1 pound beef suet (the fat from around the kidney)
1/8 tsp. nutmeg (or more to taste)
2 onions, chopped
6 oz. oatmeal, toasted
3/4 pint beef stock
Clean the gut thoroughly and then turn it inside out. Boil the lung, liver,
kidney and heart until tender. While you are doingthis, put the gut over the
edge of the pot, draining into another receptacle. Chop the meat extremely
fine; grate the liver. Mix the meatswith the spices, onions, suet and oatmeal.
Mix in the stock and then stuffinto the gut. The oatmeal will enlarge as it
absorbs the liquid, so leave extra room. Sew the gut up and then prick it with
a needle. Boil in water for 3 hours.
Heart, lung, kidney and gut of asshole usenet
poster may be substituted for sheep.
Frozen in the throat
It petrifies the tongue,
Turns mouth into a moat
Shoots arrows through the lung,
Then it contorts intestines -
Guttural rending pain -
Cramps muscles up, and next it
Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 06 Dec 2004 06:41:54 GMT
--------
In article <20041205224029.11425.00001570@mb-m29.aol.com>,
asscoassc@aol.comSHUTUP (AssCo Assc) wrote:
> << If you hated liver, you'll positively REVILE
> the boiled kidney dip. >>
>
> Try the haggis.
Basically, I AM haggis, although I have been improving lately. If I can
rise from the humiliating depths of organ meat and become a hefty beef
stew, I will have realized the dream of my forefathers and restored
pride to our tribe. Then we will celebrate by getting so drunk and
rowdy, 4 cars full of country sheriffs will pull up and we'll get our
shit beat hard. So much for pouring pure GA in the well "to kill off the
bacteria."
--
HellPope Huey
Noted Broadway Producer of "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Rabbis,"
"Sing A Song of Soylent"
and "The Genetically-Engineered Mouse
With Three Replacement Penises Growing From Its Back"
"I lit a cigarette that tasted like
a plumber's handkerchief."
- Raymond Chandler
Talent hits a target no one else can hit;
genius hits a target no one else can see.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comSHUTUP (AssCo Assc)
Date: 05 Dec 2004 21:09:30 GMT
--------
<< > The irony really slams your kidneys together like cymbals, don't it? >>
What is the sound of one kidney slamming?
Considering this organ is a massed network
of fine tubing with the appearance of milk-
sopped shredded wheat, I would onimotopoetically
imagine more of a "splotch" or "blortch" than
the "keeerang" or "kersplassh" above.
Frozen in the throat
It petrifies the tongue,
Turns mouth into a moat
Shoots arrows through the lung,
Then it contorts intestines -
Guttural rending pain -
Cramps muscles up, and next it
Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004 19:50:15 -0800
--------
David James Polewka wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
>
> >
> >So what am I supposed to do, JUST SIT THERE? Don't you see this leaves
> >me with NOTHING????
>
> No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE !!@!
>
Have you ever noticed, the surest way to bring about your own demise is
to say, "GOODBYE, Mister Bond!"
Correspondent:: "Revi Shankar"
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2004 07:53:53 -0500
--------
"nenslo" wrote in message
news:41AE8DF9.12D2E965@yahoox.com...
> David James Polewka wrote:
> >
> >
> > Don't Be a Grouchy Oldtimer, by Dr. Theodore R. Van Dellen
> ...
> >
> > The senior citizen who enjoys reasonably good health should
> > stop talking about the miseries of old age, how no one loves him,
> > and how much time he has on his hands. There is no easier way
> > to lose respect and affection than to become garrulous, obstinate,
> > grouchy and quarrelsome.
>
> So what am I supposed to do, JUST SIT THERE? Don't you see this leaves
> me with NOTHING????
I told my employer's CFO once that the worst injustice this universe could
heap on me was to not allow me to become old and bitter.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004 17:04:12 GMT
--------
In article ,
"Revi Shankar" wrote:
> David James Polewka wrote:
> > So what am I supposed to do, JUST SIT THERE? Don't you see this leaves
> > me with NOTHING????
>
> I told my employer's CFO once that the worst injustice this universe could
> heap on me was to not allow me to become old and bitter.
Hey, you're on alt.slack; even if you are only 21, you're already
halfway there. Time will do the rest. Besides, the world needs grouchy
bastards as object lessons. Its just a shame their numbers are rising on
such a sharp curve lately, including ME, haw haw, fuck ya, haw haw!!!
Q: What's the difference between Nenslo and a 5-pound snapping turtle
with his beak latched through your big toe?
A: The shell. Nenslo is obviously a mammal, sort of. Well, closer to
that than a reptile, anyway. My other car has an "I Nenslo"
sticker on it too.
--
HellPope Huey
Bursting with love, but way short on towels
Never refuse any advance of friendship,
for if nine out of ten bring you nothing,
one alone may repay you.
- Madame de Tencin
I could care less about exotic, erotic egg enemas
and high-heeled, see-thru Hello Kitty suits.
- Rev. Gary G'Broagfran
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comSHUTUP (AssCo Assc)
Date: 02 Dec 2004 17:51:45 GMT
--------
This reminds me of what Dylan Thomas said
before he died of a massive alcohol-induced
brain hemmorage:
"Fuuu -- eyagggh, ch-ch-glg'n."
Frozen in the throat
It petrifies the tongue,
Turns mouth into a moat
Shoots arrows through the lung,
Then it contorts intestines -
Guttural rending pain -
Cramps muscles up, and next it
Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: yourweightonthemoon@yahoo.com (your weight on the moon)
Date: 2 Dec 2004 09:18:06 -0800
--------
nenslo wrote in message news:<41AE8DF9.12D2E965@yahoox.com>...
> David James Polewka wrote:
> >
> >
> > Don't Be a Grouchy Oldtimer, by Dr. Theodore R. Van Dellen
> ...
> >
> > The senior citizen who enjoys reasonably good health should
> > stop talking about the miseries of old age, how no one loves him,
> > and how much time he has on his hands. There is no easier way
> > to lose respect and affection than to become garrulous, obstinate,
> > grouchy and quarrelsome.
>
> So what am I supposed to do, JUST SIT THERE? Don't you see this leaves
> me with NOTHING????
You only have to follow this advice if you want the "respect" and
"affection" of those useless, lay-a-bout cretins upon whom youth is
being wasted.
(Or do I mean, "for whom 'youth is "being wasted"'"?)
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004 19:52:42 -0800
--------
your weight on the moon wrote:
>
>
> You only have to follow this advice if you want the "respect" and
> "affection" of those useless, lay-a-bout cretins upon whom youth is
> being wasted.
> (Or do I mean, "for whom 'youth is "being wasted"'"?)
Overheard on the bus today: "People like look down on ya for doin drugs
an shit but I say fuck em."