Family relations PSA
Correspondent:: Fifo
Date: 1 Dec 2004 21:59:02 GMT
--------
"Greg Evans" wrote in news:316pvbF38fkegU1
@individual.net:
>
> "Uncle Greg"? No no no, I ain't started in on the nieces yet; still
> workin' on the cousins!
A good way to reduce visits from relatives is to wait until everybody's at
the dinner table, and then ask your young neice how that fresh nipple
piercing is healing up.
Correspondent:: Larry Krzewinski
Date: Wed, 01 Dec 2004 14:01:09 -0800
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On 1 Dec 2004 21:59:02 GMT, Fifo wrote:
>"Greg Evans" wrote in news:316pvbF38fkegU1
>@individual.net:
>>
>> "Uncle Greg"? No no no, I ain't started in on the nieces yet; still
>> workin' on the cousins!
>
>A good way to reduce visits from relatives is to wait until everybody's at
>the dinner table, and then ask your young neice how that fresh nipple
>piercing is healing up.
Greg lives down south so that won't work since his young niece is also
his sister and his wife. Besides, that would just get more of his
male kin to visit more often.
Correspondent:: "Greg Evans"
Date: Wed, 1 Dec 2004 20:49:22 -0500
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Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>> A good way to reduce visits from relatives is to wait until
>> everybody's at the dinner table, and then ask your young neice how
>> that fresh nipple piercing is healing up.
>
> Greg lives down south so that won't work since his young niece is also
> his sister and his wife. Besides, that would just get more of his
> male kin to visit more often.
Yeah, and I don't need no competishun!
Correspondent:: Larry Krzewinski
Date: Wed, 01 Dec 2004 21:12:34 -0800
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On Wed, 1 Dec 2004 20:49:22 -0500, "Greg Evans"
wrote:
>Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
>>> A good way to reduce visits from relatives is to wait until
>>> everybody's at the dinner table, and then ask your young neice how
>>> that fresh nipple piercing is healing up.
>>
>> Greg lives down south so that won't work since his young niece is also
>> his sister and his wife. Besides, that would just get more of his
>> male kin to visit more often.
>
>Yeah, and I don't need no competishun!
Grandpa's eyeing her already?
Correspondent:: pastorekenneth@aol.com (PastoreKenneth)
Date: 02 Dec 2004 02:43:28 GMT
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<< A good way to reduce
visits from relatives is to... >>
... invite them to dinner a couple of times
and cook very badly even if you're usually
the Galloping Gourmet (Graham Kerr, peace
be to him).
I try putting massive amounts of curry in
everything so that different foods all taste
like curry.
Liberal amounts of cayenne, jalapeno, Ho-Sin
"Rooster" sauce and anything measured in
Scoville units make fine additions to the even
the most ordinary side-dish -- even leftover
stuffing and mashed potatoes.
Serving sliced Spam with anchovies
on a bed of unwashed spinach will bring
a new perspective on home gastronomics.
Decorating, too, goes a long way toward reducing
those unwanted visits. A taxidermied head
of a Nubian goat ass fashion fear to your home.
Let the cat litter sit for several weeks before
your relatives arrive and let your toilet seat build
with a speckeled thin japan of dried urine droplets
and casdading mounds of lost pubic hair.
Dressing for the relatives visit is also a very
important consideration. I suggest casual
and by "casual" I mean a dog collar and leash
around your neck, a Depens undergarment and
only a minimal amount of makeup, and by
"makeup" I mean a deathly pallor and bad
haircut, boils, oozing buboes, fleas and a full
body cast spraypainted by the local grafitti gang.