Huey's review of "Dawn of the Dead"
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 05:15:43 GMT
--------
1) Boy, those sure were some fast zombies. Eat brains, win valuable
prizes... not.
2) I have now officially seen enough heads explode, aside from a few
Church members whom I think would better serve Gaia as nutrients for de
pritty green growing t'ings.
3) Its easier for almost anyone to get laid when the world is obviously
coming to a grisly end brought on by rampant,
government-lab-accident-induced cannibalism. Get that apocalyptic
stinky, folks!
4) Note to self: "Bad Santa" WOULD have been the better choice, if you
had not been medicated and failed to peruse the foreign section as you
had planned, ya pill monkey. NEXT time for SURE.
--
HellPope Huey
I feel like an iguana lizard
being mailed cross-country
in a cardboard box
Electricity is actually made up
of extremely tiny particles called electrons,
that you cannot see with the naked eye
unless you have been drinking.
- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
I never minded bowing,
as that is a show of mutual respect,
but BENDING OVER
just exposes your neck to their axes.
- HellPope Huey
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 22:30:45 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> 1) Boy, those sure were some fast zombies. Eat brains, win valuable
> prizes... not.
>
Well I just watched Kitty Foyle and In the Good Old Summertime.
1) I don't know what Ginger Rogers won the best actress oscar for.
Barbara Stanwyck she ain't. At least now I know what all those
references were about that I've been seeing in cartoons all my life.
2) Not the worst possible remake of The Shop Around the Corner. At
least it was colorful, but if you ask me Van Johnson, Judy Garland, and
Gay Nineties and YOU'RE OUT.
I've got your Dawn of the Dead right here. Hangin.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 16:52:10 GMT
--------
In article <41C3CE94.FD5ADF98@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> I've got your Dawn of the Dead right here. Hangin.
Well, don't give up just yet. Try some of the fine new boner pills that
are available. The worst thing that could happen is that they make your
heart burst while you are "in the saddle." I would not wish this on your
nice wife nor yourself, despite the seemingly large number of people who
want to see your kidneys shrunken, encased in plastic and hung from
their rear-view mirrors. To Hell with them; they know nothing of your
true inner glory.
--
HellPope Huey
I pissed right into the bottled city of Kandor
Hey, even Kryptonian flowers need nitrogen.
"Its disheartening to know that you live
in a country that's just teeming
with semi-literate, mediocre psychos."
- Henry Rollins
"Sometimes its like you're two different people."
"Well, that's three less than I used to be."
- "Stark Raving Mad"
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 06:00:58 -0700
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> 3) Its easier for almost anyone to get laid
> when the world is obviously coming to a grisly
> end brought on by rampant, government-lab-accident-
> induced cannibalism. Get that apocalyptic
> stinky, folks!
>
If this is the case, why the HELL do that have to
mess around with the plot lines? IT'S FROM A
DIFFERENT ZOMBIE MOVIE SERIES!
Night of the Living Dead zombies were created by
RADIATION FROM A FALLEN SATELLITE, not some govt
lab run by a government that can't even manage to
fix Social Security.
Dr David Banner was a nuclear weapons scientist
who was detonating a nu kind of nuclear BOMB when
he became the HULK. NOT a "geneticist" fucking
around with genetically modified strawberries or
whatever the fuck.
Peter Parker was bitten by a RADIOACTIVE spider.
EVERY DAMN KID WHO EVER READ A SPIDERMAN COMIC
KNOWS THAT! So WHY THE FUCK IN THE MOVIE WAS HE
BITTEN BY A "GENETICALLY ENGINEERED" spider?
IT IS NOT TRENDY TO FUCK WITH PLOT LINES, IT IS
STOOOPID!
What the FUCK is next? The Fantastic Four become
hideous mutants because some evil corporation
dumped toxic waste in the Amazon?
Doctor Strange is the Master of Mystic Islamic
Magic?
Batman gets his superpowers from being bitten by
a genetically engineered bat released from a
government lab by an evil corporation?
FUCK THESE PEOPLE.
--
Herring communicate with each other
via a high-pitched, "raspberry"-like
sound emitted from their anuses.
These noises are not produced by
digestive gases.
-- from 'The New Scientist'
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 17:02:05 GMT
--------
In article <41C42A0A.1760@succeeds.com>,
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> Batman gets his superpowers from being bitten by
> a genetically engineered bat released from a
> government lab by an evil corporation?
I am given to understand that Stang got part of his powers when a
black-sheep uncle exposed him to a helping of a suspicious,
slightly-glowing lager when he was 11, but there's nothing on
www.snopes.com about that, so I assume his artwork is all his own.
I got mine when Van Cliburn had unlawful carnal knowledge of a
lab-mutated orangutan with an IQ of 230. I sure miss my mother's hairy
nipples. They gave strawberry-Quik-flavored moloko plus, you know. Yep,
that's my artificially-advanced hairy orange mama! Those were the days.
--
HellPope Huey
I pissed right into the bottled city of Kandor
Hey, even Kryptonian flowers need nitrogen.
"Its disheartening to know that you live
in a country that's just teeming
with semi-literate, mediocre psychos."
- Henry Rollins
"Sometimes its like you're two different people."
"Well, that's three less than I used to be."
- "Stark Raving Mad"
Correspondent:: "Bruno"
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 19:46:45 -0800
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message
news:41C42A0A.1760@succeeds.com...
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> > 3) Its easier for almost anyone to get laid
> > when the world is obviously coming to a grisly
> > end brought on by rampant, government-lab-accident-
> > induced cannibalism. Get that apocalyptic
> > stinky, folks!
> >
>
> If this is the case, why the HELL do that have to
> mess around with the plot lines? IT'S FROM A
> DIFFERENT ZOMBIE MOVIE SERIES!
>
> Night of the Living Dead zombies were created by
> RADIATION FROM A FALLEN SATELLITE, not some govt
> lab run by a government that can't even manage to
> fix Social Security.
>
> Dr David Banner was a nuclear weapons scientist
> who was detonating a nu kind of nuclear BOMB when
> he became the HULK. NOT a "geneticist" fucking
> around with genetically modified strawberries or
> whatever the fuck.
>
> Peter Parker was bitten by a RADIOACTIVE spider.
> EVERY DAMN KID WHO EVER READ A SPIDERMAN COMIC
> KNOWS THAT! So WHY THE FUCK IN THE MOVIE WAS HE
> BITTEN BY A "GENETICALLY ENGINEERED" spider?
>
> IT IS NOT TRENDY TO FUCK WITH PLOT LINES, IT IS
> STOOOPID!
>
> What the FUCK is next? The Fantastic Four become
> hideous mutants because some evil corporation
> dumped toxic waste in the Amazon?
>
> Doctor Strange is the Master of Mystic Islamic
> Magic?
>
> Batman gets his superpowers from being bitten by
> a genetically engineered bat released from a
> government lab by an evil corporation?
>
> FUCK THESE PEOPLE.
>
> --
> Herring communicate with each other
> via a high-pitched, "raspberry"-like
> sound emitted from their anuses.
> These noises are not produced by
> digestive gases.
> -- from 'The New Scientist'
Product concept -
The Herring Call