In the future,
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 13:08:03 -0800
--------
In the future, a lot of wonderful career opportunities will open up
for young people in the field of "Personally Directed Advertising".
What this is, you walk around all day in a designated coverage area
with a backpack and a tube-shaped device, the tube is a powerful sound
amplifier which directs a sound in a precise cone wherever you point
it.
So you walk around with advertisements and great deals and public
service announcements and so on and you just point the tube at people
and blast them with it. After some embarassing early problems
legislation will be passed to ensure all advertisements are broadcast
at non-lethal amplitudes. Of course, Personally Directed Advertising
is not meant to be intrusive, so if you prefer not to take advantage
of the GREAT SAVINGS offered, if you WANT to throw your money away
paying more, why, you simply have to listen to the advertisement long
enough to figure out whose it is, and contact them personally
(although they will not have a phone number or email address which is
accessible to the public, of course, so you're kind of on your own
there) and you will be blasted with a DIFFERENT ad instead.
And the greatest part of all, Personally Directed Advertisement
specialists will be allowed to accept tips from the grateful public!
Why, a good PDA rep can make up to 50,000 dollars a week! Assuming
49,000 dollars in tips.
Although the base pay will be a buck two eighty, a really ENTERPRISING
rep can make MAD CASH!
Apply today, don't wait for this great career opportunity to exist
before starting YOUR future TODAY!
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps
it's because I haven't been writing." Groucho Marx
Correspondent:: Ljutefisk Geist
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 22:49:31 GMT
--------
In article , Zapanaz
says...
>
> In the future, a lot of wonderful career opportunities will open up
> for young people in the field of "Personally Directed Advertising".
> What this is, you walk around all day in a designated coverage area
> with a backpack and a tube-shaped device, the tube is a powerful sound
> amplifier which directs a sound in a precise cone wherever you point
> it.
>
> So you walk around with advertisements and great deals and public
> service announcements and so on and you just point the tube at people
> and blast them with it. After some embarassing early problems
> legislation will be passed to ensure all advertisements are broadcast
> at non-lethal amplitudes. Of course, Personally Directed Advertising
> is not meant to be intrusive, so if you prefer not to take advantage
> of the GREAT SAVINGS offered, if you WANT to throw your money away
> paying more, why, you simply have to listen to the advertisement long
> enough to figure out whose it is, and contact them personally
> (although they will not have a phone number or email address which is
> accessible to the public, of course, so you're kind of on your own
> there) and you will be blasted with a DIFFERENT ad instead.
>
> And the greatest part of all, Personally Directed Advertisement
> specialists will be allowed to accept tips from the grateful public!
> Why, a good PDA rep can make up to 50,000 dollars a week! Assuming
> 49,000 dollars in tips.
>
> Although the base pay will be a buck two eighty, a really ENTERPRISING
> rep can make MAD CASH!
>
> Apply today, don't wait for this great career opportunity to exist
> before starting YOUR future TODAY!
The future looks so bright, I'm gonna wear shades!
SIGN ME UP PLAESE!!1!
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 16:20:30 -0700
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
>
> In the future, a lot of wonderful career
> opportunities will open up for young people
> in the field of "Personally Directed Advertising".
The neat part is that the sound can be so finely
focused that only you can hear it, even in a crowd.
Early on, the military expressed interest in this
device. Then all of a sudden, they shut up about
it.
"This is Allah! Those who surround you are not
men, but demons in human form that seek to steal
your soul! You must kill them now! I command it!"
--
"Mars was destroyed with weapons from the future.
There, does that make you feel any better?"
-- nu-monet
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 00:25:36 GMT
--------
In article <41C2183E.D1B@succeeds.com>,
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> "This is Allah! Those who surround you are not
> men, but demons in human form that seek to steal
> your soul! You must kill them now! I command it!"
I've been hearing this a lot in Wal-Mart lately. Good thing Allah don't
mean shit to me. I don't need a disembodied voice telling me to kill;
I'll get to it when I'm damned, good and ready.
--
HellPope Huey
An explanation in 30 minutes or less
or its pointless anyway
Indifference and neglect
often do much more damage than outright dislike.
- "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"
"Look alive, here comes a buzzard."
- Walt Kelly
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 18:25:24 -0700
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> In article <41C2183E.D1B@succeeds.com>,
> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>
> > "This is Allah! Those who surround you are not
> > men, but demons in human form that seek to steal
> > your soul! You must kill them now! I command it!"
>
> I've been hearing this a lot in Wal-Mart lately.
> Good thing Allah don't mean shit to me. I don't
> need a disembodied voice telling me to kill;
> I'll get to it when I'm damned, good and ready.
>
"God used to talk to me a lot. It bothered me,
so I got him to play 'easy listening' music
instead."
-- cartoon caption
--
"He's just screaming out
'Neuter Me!'"
-- some guy about his dog