Lard of the Rings?
Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 23:37:32 -0500
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Sci Fi channel is running a made for TV thing called EarthSea. Another Enya
vehicle.
Pretty fucking awful, that's for sure. Kind of like Lord of the Rings
without the Rings or the Lord. Buncha mulletheads in leotards running
around in the mud looking for yet another Wizard.
Even Isabella Rosselini can't save this one. For 52 years old, she's pretty
hot. Let's face it, when it comes to guys my age she's prolly the one girl
of my age that might be worth a second glance. Either her or Linda Tripp.
[*]
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Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 21:47:23 -0700
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iDRMRSR wrote:
>
> Sci Fi channel is running a made for TV thing
> called EarthSea. Another Enya vehicle.
There is no bottom to the pit of the Cthulu of
bad taste:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0323108/
"The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String"
Plot Outline: A diminutive and seductive Throbbit has
been entrusted with the task of destroying the all-
powerful G-String that can grant its possessor untold
powers.
(review)
"Forget Peter Jackson's tepid version of the J. R. R.
Tolkein classic trilogy, THIS is the movie that will
define the Lord of the Rings for the next generation.
Due to what I imagine were copyright issues, the names
of the characters were changed slightly; however, it is
pretty obvious who everyone really is:
Dildo Saggens is obviously Bilbo Baggins and Smirnoff
is actually Gandolf. Spam is actually Sam...it doesn't
take a rocket scientist...
From the very beginning, I was captivated with the
sensitive retelling of the tale. Dildo reads from a
book about her adventures to the camera. It is obvious
that she is the dramatic lynch-pin from which this movie
hangs. Good thing the producer chose the capable Misty
Mundae, who played the Charleton Heston role in Playmate
of the Apes. She has more personality than all the other
actresses in the film put together. I know this because
of the sheer number of times the other actresses in the
film HAVE been put together...
I was disappointed with the performance of John Link as
"Ballem". You'd think after putting in such fine
performances in The Erotic Witch Project and Gladiator
Eroticus, that you would've put more effort into such an
important role in this film. Juliette Charles, with a
performance of a caliber normally given by a producer's
niece or nephew, saved the movie for me and allowed me
to enjoy the film to the credits.
SPOILER: The girls have sex a lot..."
--
"A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
down a blowjob. Simple as that."
-- nu-monet
Correspondent:: crgr
Date: 14 Dec 2004 06:51:00 GMT
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"iDRMRSR" wrote in
news:xvSdnRBiJuuR8yPcRVn-gA@giganews.com:
> Even Isabella Rosselini can't save this one. For 52 years old, she's
> pretty hot. Let's face it, when it comes to guys my age she's prolly
> the one girl of my age that might be worth a second glance. Either
> her or Linda Tripp.
>
>
Lydia Lunch.
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:40:48 -0500
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In article , crgr
wrote:
> "iDRMRSR" wrote in
> news:xvSdnRBiJuuR8yPcRVn-gA@giganews.com:
>
> > Even Isabella Rosselini can't save this one. For 52 years old, she's
> > pretty hot. Let's face it, when it comes to guys my age she's prolly
> > the one girl of my age that might be worth a second glance. Either
> > her or Linda Tripp.
> >
> >
> Lydia Lunch.
I was about to say, "But Lydia Lunch is a nice looking YOUNG lady!"
Then I remembered. The people on the old videotapes age too, you just
can't see it happen. (I only know her from her hardcore performances in
Richard Kern's short 16mm films from the 80s.)
Personally I thought Isabella Rosselini looked pretty BAD and OLD in
Blue Velvet... but that was nigh on to 20 years ago. I guess if I
looked at it today I might decide she was okay after all.
Bummer.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 11:53:08 -0800
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On Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:40:48 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:
>Personally I thought Isabella Rosselini looked pretty BAD and OLD in
>Blue Velvet... but that was nigh on to 20 years ago. I guess if I
>looked at it today I might decide she was okay after all.
I think she did look bad and old in Blue Velvet ... but then she looks
gorgeous in Fearless, seven years later ... and then here's a picture
of her this year, eleven years after Fearless ...
http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/2293/IsabellaRo_Pimen_2049753_400.jpg
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped,
it always lands with the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast
to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover, inches above the ground. With a giant
buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with
Chicago.
-- John Frazee
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2004 23:14:19 -0800
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On Tue, 14 Dec 2004 11:53:08 -0800, Zapanaz
wrote:
>On Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:40:48 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
> wrote:
>
>>Personally I thought Isabella Rosselini looked pretty BAD and OLD in
>>Blue Velvet... but that was nigh on to 20 years ago. I guess if I
>>looked at it today I might decide she was okay after all.
>
>I think she did look bad and old in Blue Velvet ... but then she looks
>gorgeous in Fearless, seven years later ... and then here's a picture
>of her this year, eleven years after Fearless ...
>
>http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/2293/IsabellaRo_Pimen_2049753_400.jpg
she's got Merlin disease, she's aging backwards.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 13:26:21 -0700
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Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> Personally I thought Isabella Rosselini
> looked pretty BAD and OLD in Blue Velvet...
> but that was nigh on to 20 years ago. I guess
> if I looked at it today I might decide she
> was okay after all.
Strangely enough, one who for her age still looks
pretty good is Olivia de Havilland, the still alive
and last surviving star from "Gone With The Wind",
who is 88 years old, but looks like she is in her
early 70s.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000014/
She eventually moved to Paris and married the editor
of Paris Match, then later wrote the amusingly titled
book, "Every Frenchman Has One".
Other than her two Oscars, she is known for "The
Olivia de Havilland Case Law", when she fought
Warner Brothers and won.
--
"Money can't buy you happiness,
but when you're poor, you can't
buy shit, and nobody will loan
you happiness."
--nu-monet
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 2004 17:29:03 GMT
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In article ,
"iDRMRSR" wrote:
> Even Isabella Rosselini can't save this one. For 52 years old, she's pretty
> hot. Let's face it, when it comes to guys my age she's prolly the one girl
> of my age that might be worth a second glance. Either her or Linda Tripp.
Linda Tripp is really Nenslo in drag. He's such a bitch, he'll scratch
your eyes out.
--
HellPope Huey
Everyone put your left shoe in this bag
or the kid here GETS it
I was brought up in that other service;
but I knew from the first that the Devil
was my natural master and captain and friend.
I saw that he was in the right
and that the world cringed to his conqueror only from fear.
- George Bernard Shaw, "The Devil's Disciple"
God does not play dice with the universe;
He plays an ineffable game of his own devising,
which might be compared,
from the perspective of any of the other players,
to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker
in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes,
with a dealer who won't tell you the rules
and who smiles all the time.
- Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"