My Bowels - the latest news - by Popular Request
Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Wed, 8 Dec 2004 20:26:08 -0500

--------
They're still quite active.

Mostly it's a mellifluous Bob-o-rygmy today.

I hate it when the two halves of the tubes are not in sync. The upper half
is HONGRY and the lower half just wants to be left alone, and if it is
disturbed, cramps up. I have to sort of sneak up on it, eating small treats
here and there, but at night, when I'm sleeping, in payback, the lower
hemisquid stages a protest wave, and makes it a little hard to sleep.

But I sense a retrenchment in that I am not forced to change my shorts at 3
AM. Perhaps I should, but I'm not FORCED to. That's a considerable
improvement.

Film at 11.

[*]
-----




Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 03:25:54 GMT

--------
In article ,
"iDRMRSR" wrote:

> But I sense a retrenchment in that I am not forced to change my shorts at 3
> AM. Perhaps I should, but I'm not FORCED to. That's a considerable
> improvement.

It will be short-lived. When the New Bushian World Order is in place,
you will be required to MEASURE your own output and report it to the
Office of Pylorics. You'll be lucky to HAVE 2 pairs of shorts soon. That
does it, I'm moving to MARDS!

--

HellPope Huey
I lost part of my hair
when it got tangled in the malaprop

"How many times do I have to tell you people,
I met Jesus, we didn't hit it off!"
- 'Becker'

"Manhood is the ability to outlast despair."
- James Jones


Correspondent:: SubGenius Spice
Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 06:34:31 GMT

--------
In alt.slack, iDRMRSR was all like...

:: They're still quite active.
::
:: Mostly it's a mellifluous Bob-o-rygmy today.
::
:: I hate it when the two halves of the tubes are not in sync. The upper half
:: is HONGRY and the lower half just wants to be left alone, and if it is
:: disturbed, cramps up. I have to sort of sneak up on it, eating small treats
:: here and there, but at night, when I'm sleeping, in payback, the lower
:: hemisquid stages a protest wave, and makes it a little hard to sleep.

maybe you should try your CPAP machine on your ass.




Correspondent:: Tartarus Sanctus
Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 09:25:59 -0700

--------
iDRMRSR wrote:
> They're still quite active.
>
> Mostly it's a mellifluous Bob-o-rygmy today.
>
> I hate it when the two halves of the tubes are not in sync. The upper half
> is HONGRY and the lower half just wants to be left alone, and if it is
> disturbed, cramps up. I have to sort of sneak up on it, eating small treats
> here and there, but at night, when I'm sleeping, in payback, the lower
> hemisquid stages a protest wave, and makes it a little hard to sleep.
>
> But I sense a retrenchment in that I am not forced to change my shorts at 3
> AM. Perhaps I should, but I'm not FORCED to. That's a considerable
> improvement.

Three words: snails.

Tartarus


Correspondent:: "fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari."
Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 15:53:33 -0500

--------
On Wed, 8 Dec 2004 20:26:08 -0500, "iDRMRSR"
"Bob"

>They're still quite active.
>
>Mostly it's a mellifluous Bob-o-rygmy today.
>
>I hate it when the two halves of the tubes are not in sync. The
upper half
>is HONGRY and the lower half just wants to be left alone, and if it
is
>disturbed, cramps up. I have to sort of sneak up on it, eating small
treats
>here and there, but at night, when I'm sleeping, in payback, the
lower
>hemisquid stages a protest wave, and makes it a little hard to sleep.


That sounds like an S&M adventure, where you're the sub, and the
Euniverse is the dom. Tell it hello, and if you're particular, call it
Eunice. It'll vibrate a little and shift to the red. Spray much? I
like/hate spraying, it tends to be preceeded by dreadful pain,
followed by relief and fearfully offputting smells. Avoid violent
voiding! Thank "Bob" for fruits, vegetables and nuts, with a *little*
marijuana n' even *less* but not *no* alcohol, can bring a right nice
life of peaceful, pleasureable excremeditation, save various bowelular
diseases n such. Moderation in all things can bring insane pleasure. I
not kid. Certain consumables, that you wouldn't think harmful, can
hurt. Cheeze whiz. Bad. Steak, bad. Campbells cream of anything - bad.
Meat - in extreme moderation - ok - but mostly bad. Simplify the diet
- tis much good. A little butter? Have it!! A little sugar? Have it!
By a little, it means, one, even two "hits" however you want to define
a hit. But set a limit. As for Splenda?! FUCK IT! STAY BACK IT IS
EVIL. NO SPLENDA. NO ASPARTAME. NO PREDIGESTED SUGAR FOR SUBGENII!
NEIN! Come, have some of the truly good stuff, like butter, like
sugar, and none of the evil stuff, like Splenda, like aspartame.. Some
of "Bob"'s gifts, like, broccoli, carrots, spinach....like nuts, a
little milk....yummy, and strength givening....if it makes you fart,
all the better. Too many yetisyn suffer from the con diet, and never
really get to understanding their bootfiul gasseous bodies. It
breaks my heart to walk down the street, and rarely hear even one
ripping fart. It just means a most unwise and con-oriented diet for my
yeti brethern. Frankly, it's a failure. I will judge people, and be
able to discern yeti from pink, by the farts they emit. A good fart
will come from a good yeti. No fart will come from a McCorpse. Just a
lingering, horrible, decaying smell. I digress. Eat more vegetables.
For you...get them tubes in sync you alien freak. Who the hell has
tubes? I sure don'.. wait a sec...eww...whats this? It's drippy. Fuck,
another one. Shouldn't have moved it...can't get it back to wheretwas,
hard to breathe - ah there we go. I'd kill you, except for
interspacial laws, and distance and time, etc...anyway, it sounds like
a problem - I mean not to preach - but - I suppose I am anyway. Be
healthy. Eat more vegetables - and seek pleasure. And SLACK.


Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2004 21:25:43 -0500

--------
>>Eat more vegetables

I did. Vietnamese soup today. MMMMM.

Things have improved considerably, BTW, considering there are 30 feet of wet
tubing stuffed in a flaccid lukewarm bag of liquid fat about the size of a
barrel there, with a relief hole the size of your pinky at the distant end.

Quiet as a Jaguar V24 today, in fact.

It's amazing how you can fill those tubes with dead stuff, milk, compost,
heat it to 98.6 degrees for hours, and under most normal conditions, it
doesn't EXPLODE. Then a couple of molecular size virii get in there and
you've got CHERNOBYL.

I hate those ills this flesh is heir to.

[*]
-----




Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 03:58:58 GMT

--------
In article <54Gdnd2jrJ66lCTcRVn-pg@giganews.com>,
"iDRMRSR" wrote:

> >>Eat more vegetables
>
> I did. Vietnamese soup today. MMMMM.
> > Things have improved considerably, BTW, considering there are 30 feet of wet
> tubing stuffed in a flaccid lukewarm bag of liquid fat about the size of a
> barrel there, with a relief hole the size of your pinky at the distant end.
> Quiet as a Jaguar V24 today, in fact.
> It's amazing how you can fill those tubes with dead stuff, milk, compost,
> heat it to 98.6 degrees for hours, and under most normal conditions, it
> doesn't EXPLODE. Then a couple of molecular size virii get in there and
> you've got CHERNOBYL.

Well, I DID see the topic... no one MADE me read that while I had a
piece of chocolate-orange candy in my mouth.

Damn your ass-centric ass, anyway.

--

HellPope Huey
My ruby slippers got turned at the heels

The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing.
- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"

I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars
why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper
and then put them in my mouth.
- Mignon McLaughlin


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 07:18:07 GMT

--------


iDRMRSR wrote:

> They're still quite active.
>
> Mostly it's a mellifluous Bob-o-rygmy today.
>
> I hate it when the two halves of the tubes are not in sync. The upper half
> is HONGRY and the lower half just wants to be left alone, and if it is
> disturbed, cramps up. I have to sort of sneak up on it, eating small treats
> here and there, but at night, when I'm sleeping, in payback, the lower
> hemisquid stages a protest wave, and makes it a little hard to sleep.
>
> But I sense a retrenchment in that I am not forced to change my shorts at 3
> AM. Perhaps I should, but I'm not FORCED to. That's a considerable
> improvement.
>
> Film at 11.
>
> [*]
> -----

Maybe bacteria culture capsules--billions of them!

The Yeast Avenger!
http://www.cfsn.com/yavenge.html




Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 08:15:23 GMT

--------


iDRMRSR wrote:

> They're still quite active.
>
> Mostly it's a mellifluous Bob-o-rygmy today.
>
> I hate it when the two halves of the tubes are not in sync. The upper half
> is HONGRY and the lower half just wants to be left alone, and if it is
> disturbed, cramps up. I have to sort of sneak up on it, eating small treats
> here and there, but at night, when I'm sleeping, in payback, the lower
> hemisquid stages a protest wave, and makes it a little hard to sleep.
>
> But I sense a retrenchment in that I am not forced to change my shorts at 3
> AM. Perhaps I should, but I'm not FORCED to. That's a considerable
> improvement.
>
> Film at 11.
>
> [*]
> -----

I'd guess you'd say
what can make me feel that way
My bowels...
Talkin' 'bout my bowels
My bowels



Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 16:57:32 GMT

--------
In article <41B95A9D.F15122C8@Rununculus.org>,
Konig Pruss, GfbAEV wrote:

> I'd guess you'd say
> what can make me feel that way
> My bowels...
> Talkin' 'bout my bowels
> My bowels

I hope a golf ball is mysteriously found to have become lodged in your
illium.

--

HellPope Huey
"Polite Society" is a mangy Russian bear
on a unicycle with a bent wheel

"Every country has at least one museum that says
'Here's why we chased you out'."
- Jon Stewart

"Once the swelling goes down,
the fangs should fall out."
- "Malcolm In The Middle"