New Realisation
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:27:50 -0800
--------
"SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:39:20 -0500
--------
In article <41BA30F5.AFCC0C09@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> "SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
= "a weekly SubGenius local cable TV show"
In fact, both have happened several times, but so incompletely that
they could reasonably be said not to have happened at all. St. Kerry
Thornley got farther along on the SubG Tarot deck than anybody. And
look at him now.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:03:01 -0700
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> St. Kerry Thornley got farther along on the
> SubG Tarot deck than anybody. And look at him
> now.
I have a great deck made from Hindmost illustrations
that I use to stimulate goth chicks at coffee shops.
It's not SubGenius, per se, but it performs basically
the same function. In other words, it's a racket.
You either tell them what they want to hear, or what
they are afraid to hear.
The bottom line on fortunetelling is an irony that
even the fortunetellers snicker at: the rubes don't
really want you to fortell their future, they want
you to *change* their future.
Well, let's face it. Most people's futures are
something like this:
"You will become increasingly middle aged, yet remain
in denial about it, accepting it only when you are
old, and in denial about that. You will develop many
disfunctions and diseases that will be more or less
treatable, some of which will require expensive
surgery.
You will take more and more prescription drugs. You
are past the age of sexual satisfaction, though you
still crave it, and never really had it. You will
never get enough money to retire like you wanted to,
getting by, by not doing much of anything but eating
at home and watching TV.
You will probably be overweight and die of heart
failure while taking a shit or in your sleep."
Boy, now that's fortune telling that people want to
hear.
--
"Mars was destroyed with weapons from the future.
There, does that make you feel any better?"
-- nu-monet
Correspondent:: headkase
Date: 11 Dec 2004 09:14:41 GMT
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in news:41BA5555.2DD4
@succeeds.com:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>>
>> St. Kerry Thornley got farther along on the
>> SubG Tarot deck than anybody. And look at him
>> now.
>
> I have a great deck made from Hindmost illustrations
> that I use to stimulate goth chicks at coffee shops.
>
> It's not SubGenius, per se, but it performs basically
> the same function. In other words, it's a racket.
> You either tell them what they want to hear, or what
> they are afraid to hear.
>
> The bottom line on fortunetelling is an irony that
> even the fortunetellers snicker at: the rubes don't
> really want you to fortell their future, they want
> you to *change* their future.
>
> Well, let's face it. Most people's futures are
> something like this:
>
> "You will become increasingly middle aged, yet remain
> in denial about it, accepting it only when you are
> old, and in denial about that. You will develop many
> disfunctions and diseases that will be more or less
> treatable, some of which will require expensive
> surgery.
>
> You will take more and more prescription drugs. You
> are past the age of sexual satisfaction, though you
> still crave it, and never really had it. You will
> never get enough money to retire like you wanted to,
> getting by, by not doing much of anything but eating
> at home and watching TV.
>
> You will probably be overweight and die of heart
> failure while taking a shit or in your sleep."
>
>
> Boy, now that's fortune telling that people want to
> hear.
>
>
i is going to post this somewhere i else cause it is funny
i will attribute it to you though
hk
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 15:58:15 GMT
--------
In article ,
headkase wrote:
> > You will probably be overweight and die of heart
> > failure while taking a shit or in your sleep."
Or while taking a shit in your sleep. That's what killed Zoogz Rift. An
ignoble end for a noble man.
--
HellPope Huey
If your keyboard is inoperable, press 3.
If you need new plastic keys, press 9.
If you play in a stupid church band
that plays out of date Eagles tunes with Christian Lyrics,
press 3 until death occurs.
"We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities."
- Pogo
"Do you want to play music
or get your Ph.D. in audio analysis?"
- James of Tuscon
Correspondent:: John Scialli
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 05:06:22 GMT
--------
On Sat, 11 Dec 2004 15:58:15 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:
>In article ,
> headkase wrote:
>
>> > You will probably be overweight and die of heart
>> > failure while taking a shit or in your sleep."
>
> Or while taking a shit in your sleep. That's what killed Zoogz Rift. An
>ignoble end for a noble man.
Zoogz's not dead yet. He just smells funny:
One nostril at a time.
Correspondent:: Candlemoth
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 01:18:47 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article ,
> headkase wrote:
>
>
>>>You will probably be overweight and die of heart
>>>failure while taking a shit or in your sleep."
>
>
> Or while taking a shit in your sleep. That's what killed Zoogz Rift. An
> ignoble end for a noble man.
>
That's the way I want to go.. Just as the paramedics arrive, I croak,
my sphincter relaxes, and they have to deal with a shitty corpse. I
hope I ate a big ol' "blooming onion" and a steak at Outback!~
Correspondent:: ZOOGZRIFT@hotmail.com
Date: 15 Dec 2004 12:17:06 -0800
--------
I fall asleep while sitting on the toilet all the time. I like it.
Are you spying on me?
I've been suspecting for a while that there were hidden cameras in this
new room I've moved into. Ziggy's revenge...
Never trust a plumber!
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 21:23:21 GMT
--------
In article <1103141826.630842.44980@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
ZOOGZRIFT@hotmail.com wrote:
> I fall asleep while sitting on the toilet all the time. I like it.
> Are you spying on me?
> > I've been suspecting for a while that there were hidden cameras in this
> new room I've moved into. Ziggy's revenge...
> > Never trust a plumber!
You'd better set a timer. You'll generate more 'rhoids that way and if
you are one of the helium-afflicted, one day you will wake up floating
towards "Heaven" ass-first on a cluster of 'em. That's how most people
seem to think they will get there, but in your case, you'd probably just
get sucked into a 747s intake.
--
HellPope Huey
Lewd Interpretive Dance Done
In The Privacy Of Your Own Home; by the hour.
I have no need of your God-damned sympathy.
I only wish to be entertained
by some of your grosser reminiscences.
- Alexander Woolcott
"'Black Dracula' is now a congressman from West Virginia."
- "The Simpsons"
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comSHUTUP (AssCo Assc)
Date: 11 Dec 2004 02:20:33 GMT
--------
<< St. Kerry Thornley got farther along on
the SubG Tarot deck than anybody.
And look at him now. >>
But he looks so much better. . .
---
Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
ooOOoo
It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 00:16:19 -0800
--------
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:39:20 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:
>St. Kerry
>Thornley got farther along on the SubG Tarot deck than anybody. And
>look at him now.
"My friend and me got together for poker night. We couldn't find any
cards so we used Tarot cards. Three people died mysteriously"
Steven wright
I don't remember how he phrased it exactly though. It seems like it
was funnier when he said it.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
JESUS went out into the desert and farted for 40 days FOR YOUR SINS!
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comSHUTUP (AssCo Assc)
Date: 11 Dec 2004 01:36:57 GMT
--------
What would the suits be?
Wands = Pipes, right?
---
Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
ooOOoo
It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: Eddie Vroom
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 02:57:23 GMT
--------
AssCo Assc wrote:
> What would the suits be?
>
> Wands = Pipes, right?
That seems a good choice.
Also, you can stab someone with the pipe stem, so Swords = Pipes.
Then there's the bowl of the pipe, so Cups = Pipes.
Then there's the 'frop, so Disks = Pipes.
So there you go. The mighty Pipe'o'Dobbs contains the U.S.R.D.A. of ALL
FOUR Alchemical Elements. The only diff between the suits is perspective.
--
Art and Fashion for the New Conspiracy
http://www.cafepress.com/luciddragon
the Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor Eddie Vroom
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 17:02:22 -0800
--------
Eddie Vroom wrote:
>
> AssCo Assc wrote:
> > What would the suits be?
> >
> > Wands = Pipes, right?
>
> That seems a good choice.
>
> Also, you can stab someone with the pipe stem, so Swords = Pipes.
>
> Then there's the bowl of the pipe, so Cups = Pipes.
>
> Then there's the 'frop, so Disks = Pipes.
>
> So there you go. The mighty Pipe'o'Dobbs contains the U.S.R.D.A. of ALL
> FOUR Alchemical Elements. The only diff between the suits is perspective.
>
That is the only intelligent thing anyone has ever said on this topic.
Correspondent:: wbarwell
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 23:28:01 -0500
--------
nenslo wrote:
> Eddie Vroom wrote:
>>
>> AssCo Assc wrote:
>> > What would the suits be?
>> >
>> > Wands = Pipes, right?
>>
>> That seems a good choice.
>>
>> Also, you can stab someone with the pipe stem, so Swords = Pipes.
>>
>> Then there's the bowl of the pipe, so Cups = Pipes.
>>
>> Then there's the 'frop, so Disks = Pipes.
>>
>> So there you go. The mighty Pipe'o'Dobbs contains the U.S.R.D.A. of ALL
>> FOUR Alchemical Elements. The only diff between the suits is perspective.
>>
>
> That is the only intelligent thing anyone has ever said on this topic.
Dirty Tarot cards. Dicks and tits and cunts and assholes.
This sounds like a job for Robert Williams. Or maybe
Wilson S. Clay.
--
Apes bad! Dust good!
Apes bad! Dust good!
21st Century American Christianity
in a nutshell.
Cheerful Charlie
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 17:01:02 -0800
--------
AssCo Assc wrote:
>
> What would the suits be?
>
Shut up, that's what.
Correspondent:: Eddie Vroom
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 02:53:30 GMT
--------
nenslo wrote:
>
> "SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
Alright, since you started a thread just for this, I'll repeat my last
post: I completed the entire fucking deck about two and a half years
ago, and posted it to A.B.S.
Well, the *backs* of the cards...
--
Art and Fashion for the New Conspiracy
http://www.cafepress.com/luciddragon
the Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor Eddie Vroom
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 00:13:24 -0800
--------
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:27:50 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>
>
>"SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
I already did it, actually. I just worked up a spread for the INWO
subgenius deck. If anybody is actually interested post back or
whatever.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Your honor it was consentual, she said, "Over my dead body."
- Rev Beergoggles
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 17:31:49 GMT
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:27:50 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>
>>
>>
>>"SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
>
> I already did it, actually. I just worked up a spread for the INWO
> subgenius deck. If anybody is actually interested post back or
> whatever.
I'm actually interested.
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 11 Dec 2004 16:51:34 GMT
--------
>"SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
>
>
Nenslo= Go pound sand up your ass.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 19:52:02 GMT
--------
In article <20041211115134.08355.00001780@mb-m04.aol.com>,
mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull) wrote:
> >"SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
> Nenslo= Go pound sand up your ass.
I see no reason a person would do this. It surely smarts like a
mufugger and besides, you'd have to be a real contortionist to manage it
properly. Nenslo is a DIStortionist. No sand, just facts and many
cracked pots.
--
HellPope Huey
If your keyboard is inoperable, press 3.
If you need new plastic keys, press 9.
If you play in a stupid church band
that plays out of date Eagles tunes with Christian Lyrics,
press 3 until death occurs.
"We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities."
- Pogo
"Do you want to play music
or get your Ph.D. in audio analysis?"
- James of Tuscon
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 17:02:51 -0800
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
>
> >"SubGenius Tarot Deck" = "a thing which will never happen"
> >
> >
>
> Nenslo= Go pound sand up your ass.
I agree with this post.