Prayerfully, sing,
Correspondent:: "fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari."
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 01:10:57 -0500
--------
Sob. Baby Jimmus....so tasty.
manger = francais pour l'anglais, "eat".
Away in a manger, the centerpiece placed,
Lord Baby Jeenus, placed on a cow's plate,
Hawngry, the wisemen looked down where He lay,
Lord Baby Jeenus, asleep, un-fillet'd.
But ate him they didn,
he didn get ate,
not enough flavour, so off they did go,
so done go them wisemen, and him they did baste,
n' Lord Baby Cheesu was finally to taste!
Roastin' that baby in the animal farm,
was more than enough to do him some harm,
Lord Baby Jemus went down really quite well,
goes best with a red wine, as far as can tell...
Harumph. This show ain't no good . Go church! Go get some Jeeny
flesh... red wine. You hawngry!
Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 03:32:40 -0600
--------
On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 01:10:57 -0500, "fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari."
wrote:
>
>Sob. Baby Jimmus....so tasty.
THE REAL TRUE STORY OF CHRISTMAS AND THE NATIVITY
(a great and terrible blasphemy that has that *ring* of plausibility)
by HeadMistress Salacia the Overseer
So God upon high in his infinite wisdom looked down upon his
creation.
"WTF?"
"My beautiful creations, the cows, and the lambs and the chickens are
in terrible agony. Their pain and suffering reaches unto me and the
stink of their smoking carcasses pollutes unto the highest corners of
the vaults of heaven."
"Those silly humans are sacrificing the best and fattest animals to me
and BURNING them. They're not even sharing that great meat I provided
and for their nourishment."
"That's disrespectful to me and disrespectful and wasteful of their
fellow creatures."
"They got it wrong, AGAIN. I must put a stop to this." (Eyeroll and
great heavy sigh)
So the LORD decides to put a stop to it and teach them a gentle lesson
and send a proxy-one-time-all-encompassing-sacrifice-that-double
triple-over-covers all of the past and future food animal sacrifices.
In his infinite mercy, He causes to be born a chosen one, a white
magical sacrifice and savior as a stand in for those millions of
wasted food animals.
He causes to be born among them a babe. The child is born of an
attractive cow from seed of god as he was role playing shepherd one
day. The wonder child is adopted by poor jewish newlyweds. God sees
that it is fitting and symbolic that the child sacrifice should be
placed within the cattle's food dish in the place of grain and makes
it so.
Upon the birth of the child an Angelic Herald is sent out into the cow
and sheep pastures to spread the Good News to all of the suffering
animals that their savior has been born. The shepherds mistake the
message of this visitation and follow their herds in great wonder
over to where a baby lies in a manger.
The child grows up and starts telling people he is the savior of
meatkind. He is the Lamb of God, he is the Great Shepherd that
protects his flock, he is a fowl fancier.
As a way of saving as many of the meat animals as he can a wasteful
death, the Great Protector and Savior of Meatkind tells his human
disciples that he is the great Sacrifice and Savior--this sacrifice
you must EAT and not waste by burning. He presents to them the
foodstuff of cattle, and his one time cradle bedding, grain, made into
bread. He presents this ordinary bread as his own, best magically
sacrificed body meat. "Eat this in memory of me. Don't kill so many
animals, I love them, too. You big dumb people." He tells them to get
together from time to time to share bread and wine. He tells them the
wine is his blood. He hopes this will satisfy their bloodthirsty
nature and that the bread will fill them up so they don't eat so much
meat.
Then the Lamb of God is led away to slaughter upon a cross. His body
is not burned or wasted, in fact, it is claimed that he came through
the ordeal rather well.
And the LORD's great and magickal trick worked wonders. People around
the world began to frown on the practice of wasteful animal
sacrifice. Except for those African faiths. They were sharing and not
wasting the meat the whole time. So they were exempt.
That my, Dear One, is why the Christ Child appears in the manger in
the Nativity set and why all the animals are there worshipping the
little baby Jesus.
THE END
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:59:59 GMT
--------
In article ,
HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer wrote:
> THE REAL TRUE STORY OF CHRISTMAS AND THE NATIVITY
> (a great and terrible blasphemy that has that *ring* of plausibility)
............
> That my, Dear One, is why the Christ Child appears in the manger in
> the Nativity set and why all the animals are there worshipping the
> little baby Jesus.
> > THE END
Oh, nobody's gonna believe all that tripe.
--
HellPope Huey
Lewd Interpretive Dance Done
In The Privacy Of Your Own Home; by the hour.
I have no need of your God-damned sympathy.
I only wish to be entertained
by some of your grosser reminiscences.
- Alexander Woolcott
"'Black Dracula' is now a congressman from West Virginia."
- "The Simpsons"
Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 12:43:20 -0600
--------
On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:59:59 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:
>In article ,
> HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer wrote:
>
>> THE REAL TRUE STORY OF CHRISTMAS AND THE NATIVITY
>> (a great and terrible blasphemy that has that *ring* of plausibility)
>............
>> That my, Dear One, is why the Christ Child appears in the manger in
>> the Nativity set and why all the animals are there worshipping the
>> little baby Jesus.
>> > THE END
>
> Oh, nobody's gonna believe all that tripe.
That's what they said about the Old Testament.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 21:25:24 GMT
--------
In article ,
HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer wrote:
> On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:59:59 GMT, HellPope Huey
> wrote:
> >In article ,
> > HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer wrote:
> >
> >> THE REAL TRUE STORY OF CHRISTMAS AND THE NATIVITY
> >> (a great and terrible blasphemy that has that *ring* of plausibility)
> >............
> >> That my, Dear One, is why the Christ Child appears in the manger in
> >> the Nativity set and why all the animals are there worshipping the
> >> little baby Jesus.
> >> > THE END
> >
> > Oh, nobody's gonna believe all that tripe.
>
> That's what they said about the Old Testament.
I thought the Old Testament was too heavy-handed and needed more clowns
and talking kangaroos and whoopie cushions.
--
HellPope Huey
Lewd Interpretive Dance Done
In The Privacy Of Your Own Home; by the hour.
I have no need of your God-damned sympathy.
I only wish to be entertained
by some of your grosser reminiscences.
- Alexander Woolcott
"'Black Dracula' is now a congressman from West Virginia."
- "The Simpsons"
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 21:31:50 GMT
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>In article ,
> HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer wrote:
>> On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 17:59:59 GMT, HellPope Huey
>> wrote:
>> >In article ,
>> > HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer wrote:
>> >
>> >> THE REAL TRUE STORY OF CHRISTMAS AND THE NATIVITY
>> >> (a great and terrible blasphemy that has that *ring* of plausibility)
>> >............
>> >> That my, Dear One, is why the Christ Child appears in the manger in
>> >> the Nativity set and why all the animals are there worshipping the
>> >> little baby Jesus.
>> >> > THE END
>> >
>> > Oh, nobody's gonna believe all that tripe.
>>
>> That's what they said about the Old Testament.
>
> I thought the Old Testament was too heavy-handed and needed more clowns
>and talking kangaroos and whoopie cushions.
>
>--
I kind of enjoyed the part where the Samsonites
smite the Philadelphians with the jaw bone of an ass.
But yeah! More pies and seltzer bottles.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 10:10:24 -0800
--------
On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 03:32:40 -0600, HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
wrote:
>On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 01:10:57 -0500, "fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari."
> wrote:
>
>>
>>Sob. Baby Jimmus....so tasty.
>
>
>THE REAL TRUE STORY OF CHRISTMAS AND THE NATIVITY
>(a great and terrible blasphemy that has that *ring* of plausibility)
>
>by HeadMistress Salacia the Overseer
>
>So God upon high in his infinite wisdom looked down upon his
>creation.
>
>"WTF?"
>
>"My beautiful creations, the cows, and the lambs and the chickens are
>in terrible agony. Their pain and suffering reaches unto me and the
>stink of their smoking carcasses pollutes unto the highest corners of
>the vaults of heaven."
>
>"Those silly humans are sacrificing the best and fattest animals to me
>and BURNING them. They're not even sharing that great meat I provided
>and for their nourishment."
>
>"That's disrespectful to me and disrespectful and wasteful of their
>fellow creatures."
>
>"They got it wrong, AGAIN. I must put a stop to this." (Eyeroll and
>great heavy sigh)
>
>So the LORD decides to put a stop to it and teach them a gentle lesson
>and send a proxy-one-time-all-encompassing-sacrifice-that-double
>triple-over-covers all of the past and future food animal sacrifices.
>
>In his infinite mercy, He causes to be born a chosen one, a white
>magical sacrifice and savior as a stand in for those millions of
>wasted food animals.
>
>He causes to be born among them a babe. The child is born of an
>attractive cow from seed of god as he was role playing shepherd one
>day. The wonder child is adopted by poor jewish newlyweds. God sees
>that it is fitting and symbolic that the child sacrifice should be
>placed within the cattle's food dish in the place of grain and makes
>it so.
>
>Upon the birth of the child an Angelic Herald is sent out into the cow
>and sheep pastures to spread the Good News to all of the suffering
>animals that their savior has been born. The shepherds mistake the
>message of this visitation and follow their herds in great wonder
>over to where a baby lies in a manger.
>
>The child grows up and starts telling people he is the savior of
>meatkind. He is the Lamb of God, he is the Great Shepherd that
>protects his flock, he is a fowl fancier.
>
>As a way of saving as many of the meat animals as he can a wasteful
>death, the Great Protector and Savior of Meatkind tells his human
>disciples that he is the great Sacrifice and Savior--this sacrifice
>you must EAT and not waste by burning. He presents to them the
>foodstuff of cattle, and his one time cradle bedding, grain, made into
>bread. He presents this ordinary bread as his own, best magically
>sacrificed body meat. "Eat this in memory of me. Don't kill so many
>animals, I love them, too. You big dumb people." He tells them to get
>together from time to time to share bread and wine. He tells them the
>wine is his blood. He hopes this will satisfy their bloodthirsty
>nature and that the bread will fill them up so they don't eat so much
>meat.
>
>Then the Lamb of God is led away to slaughter upon a cross. His body
>is not burned or wasted, in fact, it is claimed that he came through
>the ordeal rather well.
>
>And the LORD's great and magickal trick worked wonders. People around
>the world began to frown on the practice of wasteful animal
>sacrifice. Except for those African faiths. They were sharing and not
>wasting the meat the whole time. So they were exempt.
>
>That my, Dear One, is why the Christ Child appears in the manger in
>the Nativity set and why all the animals are there worshipping the
>little baby Jesus.
>
>THE END
>
>
>
>
that is great
I have been trying to work out what I am going to do for xtianmass
cards this year, that might be it.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
So he DIED. He was OLD. His BRAIN was MUSH from ALZHEIMER'S. Of
COURSE HE DIED, what did you EXPECT him to do, win the figure skating
medal in the winter olympics?
- requiescat in obscura, Ronald Reagan