RIP Azriel
Correspondent:: Reverend Kenny
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 22:19:16 -0500
--------
The universe is fluid...
My family had 4 cats, about 6 weeks ago, we found a dog.
We rescued this poor doggie with help from the Humane Society.
Although we didn't know it at the time, our second oldest cat's kidneys
began to fail.
A week ago, realizing our cat was sick, we took him to the vet, he was
diagnosed with renal failure.
Three days ago, knowing out cat was very sick, my 4 1/2 year old
daughter drew a picture of our sick cat and for some reason decided to
draw a puffy, black, ominous cloud on the horizon.
Two days ago, I received my yearly "good driver" rebate check from my
insurance company for $58 and some odd change.
Last nite, my cat lost his will to live, we had him put to sleep as
foreseen by my daughter and the sad trip to the vet cost us $58 and some
odd change.
The last time this happened, my wife had just had a miscarriage...
Strangely, a flea bitten, little kitten (with no known family) appeared
at our window.
...Nature abhors a vacuum.
I wonder if the guy who cut my check at the insurance company was named
"Bob"?
--
Praise "Bob",
Reverend Kenny
For every extremist, there is an equal and opposite extremist...
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 20:38:24 -0800
--------
On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 22:19:16 -0500, Reverend Kenny
wrote:
>The universe is fluid...
>
>My family had 4 cats, about 6 weeks ago, we found a dog.
>We rescued this poor doggie with help from the Humane Society.
>Although we didn't know it at the time, our second oldest cat's kidneys
>began to fail.
>
>A week ago, realizing our cat was sick, we took him to the vet, he was
>diagnosed with renal failure.
>
>Three days ago, knowing out cat was very sick, my 4 1/2 year old
>daughter drew a picture of our sick cat and for some reason decided to
>draw a puffy, black, ominous cloud on the horizon.
>
>Two days ago, I received my yearly "good driver" rebate check from my
>insurance company for $58 and some odd change.
>
>Last nite, my cat lost his will to live, we had him put to sleep as
>foreseen by my daughter and the sad trip to the vet cost us $58 and some
>odd change.
>
>The last time this happened, my wife had just had a miscarriage...
>Strangely, a flea bitten, little kitten (with no known family) appeared
>at our window.
>
>...Nature abhors a vacuum.
>
>
>I wonder if the guy who cut my check at the insurance company was named
>"Bob"?
the only thing scarier than when the gods don't answer is when they
do.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Near as I can tell,
"jack-shit" and "diddly-squat"
are roughly the same amount.
- George Carlin
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 09:04:22 -0500
--------
In article , Zapanaz wrote:
> On Wed, 15 Dec 2004 22:19:16 -0500, Reverend Kenny
> wrote:
>
> >The universe is fluid...
> >
> >My family had 4 cats, about 6 weeks ago, we found a dog.
> >We rescued this poor doggie with help from the Humane Society.
> >Although we didn't know it at the time, our second oldest cat's kidneys
> >began to fail.
> >
> >A week ago, realizing our cat was sick, we took him to the vet, he was
> >diagnosed with renal failure.
> >
> >Three days ago, knowing out cat was very sick, my 4 1/2 year old
> >daughter drew a picture of our sick cat and for some reason decided to
> >draw a puffy, black, ominous cloud on the horizon.
> >
> >Two days ago, I received my yearly "good driver" rebate check from my
> >insurance company for $58 and some odd change.
> >
> >Last nite, my cat lost his will to live, we had him put to sleep as
> >foreseen by my daughter and the sad trip to the vet cost us $58 and some
> >odd change.
> >
> >The last time this happened, my wife had just had a miscarriage...
> >Strangely, a flea bitten, little kitten (with no known family) appeared
> >at our window.
> >
> >...Nature abhors a vacuum.
> >
> >
> >I wonder if the guy who cut my check at the insurance company was named
> >"Bob"?
>
> the only thing scarier than when the gods don't answer is when they
> do.
Well now. Day before yesterday, I went to the P.O. and there was a
large package there from a SubGenius I had never heard from before.
Inside were some printed rants and artwork that he'd done -- EXCELLENT
work -- and, more importantly, FIFTY BUCKS IN CASH. The sender had, on
a whim, bought his first and so far only lottery ticket, and it was a
hundred dollar winner! He had just purchased a Membership Pack from
"Bob" prior to this win... so he sent half to the Church!
Yesterday, Wei and I walked into the P.O. and who should we find in
there but two members of the band "Maggie, Pierce and EJ," Princess
Wei's favorite folk-rock band, who are from Pennsylvania and happened
only by the wildest chance to have stopped to mail something at this
post office in Cleveland Heights. (Not that weird a coincidence; they
knew of this specific post office because they've stayed at our house a
couple of times when playing in Cleveland.)
The band had a new CD out, and Princess Wei wanted 3 copies of it --
and what should I have in my pocket but the EXACTLY-$50 THAT THEY
WANTED FOR THOSE CDs!
Nature abhors me hanging onto $50.
Wait a minute, that guy wanted the $50 to go to "Bob," not Maggie,
Pierce and EJ.
HMMMM.
And yet, somehow, I know that when that $50 makes its circuitous route
BACK to "Bob," it will have grown to $50,000.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:21:53 -0800
--------
On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 09:04:22 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:
>And yet, somehow, I know that when that $50 makes its circuitous route
>BACK to "Bob," it will have grown to $50,000.
yeah I kind of figure "Bob" to be the one guy who was always first in
every single pyramid scheme and always made all that mythical big
money they were talking about.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
But if we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out
of meat?
Correspondent:: "Kevin Cunningham"
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 14:30:42 GMT
--------
"Reverend Kenny" wrote in message
news:y-KdnUJT0fIoY13cRVn-sw@comcast.com...
> The universe is fluid...
>
> My family had 4 cats, about 6 weeks ago, we found a dog.
> We rescued this poor doggie with help from the Humane Society.
> Although we didn't know it at the time, our second oldest cat's kidneys
> began to fail.
>
> A week ago, realizing our cat was sick, we took him to the vet, he was
> diagnosed with renal failure.
>
> Three days ago, knowing out cat was very sick, my 4 1/2 year old daughter
> drew a picture of our sick cat and for some reason decided to draw a
> puffy, black, ominous cloud on the horizon.
>
> Two days ago, I received my yearly "good driver" rebate check from my
> insurance company for $58 and some odd change.
>
> Last nite, my cat lost his will to live, we had him put to sleep as
> foreseen by my daughter and the sad trip to the vet cost us $58 and some
> odd change.
>
> The last time this happened, my wife had just had a miscarriage...
> Strangely, a flea bitten, little kitten (with no known family) appeared at
> our window.
>
> ...Nature abhors a vacuum.
>
>
> I wonder if the guy who cut my check at the insurance company was named
> "Bob"?
> --
> Praise "Bob",
> Reverend Kenny
>
> For every extremist, there is an equal and opposite extremist...
Yeah, I know what you mean. Years ago we had lost a cat. We were walking
out of our house, my wife, my daughter and I when my daughter heard
something. It was a weird sound, strange, and it was coming from a
neighbors hedge. Our daughter ran over to the hedge and found a cat with
its head stuck in the Y of a branch. Well it became my favorite and was not
a cat, really. It would "store" stuff, one day the stuff would be gone and
then it would re-appear. The "cat" talked to me, very cogent speach. We
all needed a friend, maybe JHVH-I sent the "cat".
Rev. Dr. Junior Mints
Anti-Pope of Atlanta
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 16 Dec 2004 15:34:27 GMT
--------
The Chineese Zen master once said:
"Nothing is so treasured as dead cat,
for who can put a price to it? Whereas
living cat only eight cents a pound."
ooOOoo
It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 17 Dec 2004 00:14:04 GMT
--------
>The Chineese Zen master once said:
>
>"Nothing is so treasured as dead cat,
> for who can put a price to it? Whereas
> living cat only eight cents a pound."
>
And it also happend to be todays lunch specail, Kitten Lo Mein!
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 17 Dec 2004 00:13:21 GMT
--------
>Yeah, I know what you mean. Years ago we had lost a cat. We were walking
>out of our house, my wife, my daughter and I when my daughter heard
>something. It was a weird sound, strange, and it was coming from a
>neighbors hedge. Our daughter ran over to the hedge and found a cat with
>its head stuck in the Y of a branch. Well it became my favorite and was not
>a cat, really. It would "store" stuff, one day the stuff would be gone and
>then it would re-appear. The "cat" talked to me, very cogent speach. We
>all needed a friend, maybe JHVH-I sent the "cat".
My sister found a cat once, it had a funny stripe running doen its back and
accross its furry tail.
Washed it and washed it, still could not make it stop stinking. So they made it
sleep with me.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:34:33 -0700
--------
Reverend Kenny wrote:
>
> The universe is fluid...
One of the better pussycat stories I've heard
was from a retired cowboy (prolly rustler) and
high school football coach. He saw the story of
that cat as almost mythical, holding some great
and arcane magical mystery that he never quite
figured out.
The cat arrived on the scene when he lived on a
ranch near Wickenburg, AZ. He arrived in a cloud
of dust and literally riding on the back of one
of the common stray yellow dogs found in the area.
He said, as odd as it seems, it is not uncommon
for a fightin' tomcat to jump on the back of a dog
and dig in with his claws, much to the discomfort
of the dog, who hightails it out of there with cat
still attached.
Well, they came from off in the desert, from who
knows where, and the cat chose this ranch to
finally disembark from the dog, who then hightailed
it out of there. He said the cat looked around,
like he had just gotten off a stagecoach, then
walked right into the ranch house and made himself
at home.
And there he stayed for a few years, until the
cowboy moved to Phoenix to take a job as a coach.
The cat jumped in his car, something he had never
done before, so all agreed that it was the cat's
choice.
He was very fond of that cat, who stayed with him in
his new place for another couple of years until one
fateful day, "When the stagecoach came to town."
He said that he didn't get to see it, but a neighbor
told him that a big stray dog showed up and offered
to fight the cat, who was not intimidated by dogs.
And with a predictable result, the cat leaped onto
that big dog, and as he said, his neighbor said,
"And then he just rode off into the sunset."
He never saw the cat again, but that didn't trouble
him much. He said he figured that like in many a
dime novel, that cat just wanted to be movin' on.
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 17 Dec 2004 00:10:25 GMT
--------
>The universe is fluid...
>
>My family had 4 cats, about 6 weeks ago, we found a dog.
>We rescued this poor doggie with help from the Humane Society.
>Although we didn't know it at the time, our second oldest cat's kidneys
>began to fail.
>
>A week ago, realizing our cat was sick, we took him to the vet, he was
>diagnosed with renal failure.
>
>Three days ago, knowing out cat was very sick, my 4 1/2 year old
>daughter drew a picture of our sick cat and for some reason decided to
>draw a puffy, black, ominous cloud on the horizon.
>
>Two days ago, I received my yearly "good driver" rebate check from my
>insurance company for $58 and some odd change.
>
>Last nite, my cat lost his will to live, we had him put to sleep as
>foreseen by my daughter and the sad trip to the vet cost us $58 and some
>odd change.
>
>The last time this happened, my wife had just had a miscarriage...
>Strangely, a flea bitten, little kitten (with no known family) appeared
>at our window.
>
>...Nature abhors a vacuum.
>
>
>I wonder if the guy who cut my check at the insurance company was named
>"Bob"?
That sounds strangly like the Storey my parents told me about where I came
from.
Except they found me at the Pound, I did not show up at the door.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague