Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Wed, 08 Dec 2004 03:39:46 GMT
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1) Space is a hard vacuum full of radiation and micrometeorites, just
for starters; all of those additional particles, elements and
astronomical anomalies will usually crush you into 2 dimensions, suck
you into other-dimensional toilets or flash-fry your ass to a crisp in a
nano-second. Unforgiving neighborhood, that.
2) The universe is peopled by largely hostile assholes; you are all at
more or less the same level of technology and you all speak English, but
WITH the belligerence, bad syntax and stumbles intact. You can stay home
and get that much.
3) Many of the women are quite fetching, but others look like the
leftovers from the collision of a semi carting pigs and one bearing
turkeys. Besides, all will give you the Prong-Snapping Space Clap.
4) The standard Starfleet outfit is spandex, which would do nothing
whatever to compliment my big ass, my dewlap or my superfluous third
nipple, which is larger than usual.
5) If you make it past all the other hazards intact, you can easily
wind up craving some peculiar food or drink made only on a planet 130
light-years away or get hooked on a drug that makes you feel like
Superman for 12 hours a dose, but causes your toes to grow together and
is sold by a shady guy who has 4 arms too many for your liking.
6) And more importantly, why did Guido give Snoop Dogg the Flagon with
the Dragon when the brew that was true was already in the bong and
Wankel cheeseblock Muldoon peckish yarblockos, to boot?
So much for picking up the niceties of colloquial Andorian.
Discuss.
By the way, I would pay up to ten ($10) good American dollars for a
brief but clear video of George W. Bush Jr. entering the atmosphere of
Jupiter, really fast and sporting only a red bra and thong.
--
HellPope Huey ~ www.subgenius.com
Oh, what a beautiful morning, ya jerks
"H-H-Happy Birthday,
y-y-you thing from another world, you."
- Porky Pig
"It was darker than a carload of assholes."
- George V. Higgins
Correspondent:: "AgentOrangeCleaner" Date: Wed, 08 Dec 2004 03:44:00 GMT
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Is this supposed to be funny? Cuz if so, you failed.
Correspondent:: "Russell B Waters" Date: Tue, 7 Dec 2004 22:09:40 -0600
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"AgentOrangeCleaner" wrote in message
news:4Mutd.24359$ld2.9593446@twister.nyc.rr.com...
> Is this supposed to be funny? Cuz if so, you failed.
>
Nope, I'm afraid Hellpope Huey was spot on.
That was not only funny, but entertaining and quite imaginitive.
You're just jealous cuz you've only been to Jupiter once, and had a bad
experience at a Motel Googol.
Sucks to be you.
C'mon Chuckie....." - Kevin A. Cannon showing why any case he brings forth
regarding harassment, stalking or threats has no merit in Message-ID:
Brought to you by www.notoriousnews.com Where the world goes for usenet.
Correspondent:: "mewthree" Date: Wed, 08 Dec 2004 05:18:40 GMT
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"AgentOrangeCleaner" wrote in message
news:4Mutd.24359$ld2.9593446@twister.nyc.rr.com...
> Is this supposed to be funny? Cuz if so, you failed.
>
it was funny!!!
Correspondent:: Anybody Date: Wed, 08 Dec 2004 18:30:57 +1300
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In article <4Mutd.24359$ld2.9593446@twister.nyc.rr.com>,
"AgentOrangeCleaner" wrote:
> Is this supposed to be funny? Cuz if so, you failed.
I don't know about that.
"George W. Bush Jr. sporting only a red bra and thong" would be pretty
funny ... but only if we hadn't already seen it during his pre-election
travels. ;-)
Correspondent:: BELANGER Date: Wed, 08 Dec 2004 09:41:51 -0500
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HellPope Huey insists:
> 3) Many of the women are quite fetching, but others look like the
>leftovers from the collision of a semi carting pigs and one bearing
>turkeys.
That's why we the room gets really foggy and the light source shifts
whenever we see them. The swamp gasses from their covens get trapped
in their elaborate wigs and gradually leech out into Dr. McCoy's
office, refracting the light.