"Bob"-isms!
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 10 Dec 2004 13:36:31 -0800
--------
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6687061/?GT1=5936
Found this by accident off the MSN webpage...
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:36:01 -0500
--------
In article <1102714591.081014.238370@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
Paul Casino wrote:
> http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6687061/?GT1=5936
> Found this by accident off the MSN webpage...
>
I got several emails about that one during the course of today.
I must again dutifully point out that Bob is the most common first name
in the English-speaking world, and that every asshole with a pipe is
not J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.
'Cause if every asshole with a pipe IS, then I'm J.R. "Bob" Dobbs too,
and, unlike Little Fyodor in that song, I DON'T "wanna be "Bob."
It figures that Chinese teens and twits would love our trite garbage.
Our teens and twits love the Chinese trite garbage.
When we were in Brighton we were told of a British ad campaign of a few
years back, for candy or something, involving "The Cult of Jim." The
product came with the wise sayings of Jim, which included things like
"Pull some of your own wool over your eyes" and "Too much is always
good, and not enough is always bad," clumsy rip-offs like that. I
didn't hear about that one myself, when it was happening. I guess it's
old news now.
When Pinks think to steal "Bob," they always get it SO VERY VERY wrong.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 10 Dec 2004 17:24:27 -0800
--------
Yeah, only the last quote seemed anywhere NEAR "Bob"-esque, all the
other ones sounded like your typical self-help guru bullshit nonsense.
Come to think of it, most of what J.R. "Bob" Dobbs says sounds like
your typical self-help guru bullshit nonsense, but his is a different
kind of bullshit, a purer kind. Like that old Seinfeld eppisode where
Kramer said "Is it untrue? Or is it SO true, your brain can't handle it
and just SHUTS OFF?" (or something to that effect.)
The one gal DID go by a "Connie" moniker, and that was the only reason
it caught my eye.
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comSHUTUP (AssCo Assc)
Date: 11 Dec 2004 16:52:23 GMT
--------
<< The one gal DID go by a "Connie" moniker, and that was the only reason
it caught my eye. >>
The “We are going to grow up or blow up” prophecy
was pretty good despite the fact that some of
us have already done both.
---
Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
ooOOoo
It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat
Correspondent:: purple
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 00:02:33 -0500
--------
On 12/10/04 7:36 PM, in article
101220041936011848%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:
> 'Cause if every asshole with a pipe IS, then I'm J.R. "Bob" Dobbs too,
> and, unlike Little Fyodor in that song, I DON'T "wanna be "Bob."
Yeah, you'd rather be me.
The Great Bob Dobbs
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 00:02:38 -0800
--------
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:36:01 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:
>I got several emails about that one during the course of today.
>
>I must again dutifully point out that Bob is the most common first name
>in the English-speaking world, and that every asshole with a pipe is
>not J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.
>
>'Cause if every asshole with a pipe IS, then I'm J.R. "Bob" Dobbs too,
>and, unlike Little Fyodor in that song, I DON'T "wanna be "Bob."
>
>It figures that Chinese teens and twits would love our trite garbage.
>Our teens and twits love the Chinese trite garbage.
>
>When we were in Brighton we were told of a British ad campaign of a few
>years back, for candy or something, involving "The Cult of Jim." The
>product came with the wise sayings of Jim, which included things like
>"Pull some of your own wool over your eyes" and "Too much is always
>good, and not enough is always bad," clumsy rip-offs like that. I
>didn't hear about that one myself, when it was happening. I guess it's
>old news now.
>
>When Pinks think to steal "Bob," they always get it SO VERY VERY wrong.
From that article:
"“It’s amazing that a foreigner can understand me so well. ... You are
a good listener and also a patient teacher,” wrote ”Connie” from
Tianjin. “I like to consider you as a friend who is sincere.”"
There is no way that "Connie" is a coincidence ... I mean, "bob",
maybe, but "bob" -and- "connie"?
I don't know why it should make a difference in the world to me if bob
dean or this guy in new york or whoever else rips off something I had
no part at all in originating. Really, I suppose if I knew less about
it, I would just think it was cool that there was this basically
"pure" but inapproachable beating black heart to it, the "real" church
of the subgenius, and that all these imitation-birdies occasionally
come, dip their beaks in it, get it hopelessly wrong, but however
wrong manage to wind up so insanely askew from their contact with what
they are ripping off that the results are interesting despite them.
Well better to poison the world than to get rich I guess. I don't
know. I've lost my train of thought. Fuck the bozos.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Actual dialogue between Ronald Reagan and
Nancy Reagan (nee Davis), in the movie,
"Hellcats of the Navy":
(standing in front of a stack of naval mines)
Nancy: What are you going to do after the war?
Ronald: I told you a hundred times.
Nancy: I want to hear it once more.
Ronald: I'm going into the surplus business.
I'm gonna buy up all the old mines
and sell them to the man in the moon.
Nancy: But there's no water on the moon!
Ronald: How do you know so much about the moon?
Nancy: I know a lot about it. I spend all my
time looking at it when you're away.
That's how it still is with me.
Ronald: It's time for me to go now.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 15:48:42 GMT
--------
In article ,
Zapanaz wrote:
> I don't know why it should make a difference in the world to me if bob
> dean or this guy in new york or whoever else rips off something I had
> no part at all in originating. Really, I suppose if I knew less about
> it, I would just think it was cool that there was this basically
> "pure" but inapproachable beating black heart to it, the "real" church
> of the subgenius,
There isn't one; its just a constructed, chortling boogeyman devised to
sell t-shirts and purdy pitchers to borderline cases so they can
celebrate membership in a church that's 98% data packets. Too bad you
can't just phone in Catholicism or Islam the same way. Things'd be FAR
quieter. Yessir, we sure do love that "Bob," but air kisses assure you
of not contracting mono or Krellknobian Foreskin Leprosy.
>>> Well better to poison the world than to get rich I guess. I don't
> know.
It must be EASIER, since so many are trying their hand at it. "Bob"
teaches you how to ENJOY most of the poison, but don't get greedy,
there's plenty to go around, so STOP SHOVING!
>>> I've lost my train of thought. Fuck the bozos.
You parked it on my foot, OW YOU FUCKER OW MOVE IT MOVE IT!
--
HellPope Huey
If your keyboard is inoperable, press 3.
If you need new plastic keys, press 9.
If you play in a stupid church band
that plays out of date Eagles tunes with Christian Lyrics,
press 3 until death occurs.
"We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities."
- Pogo
"Do you want to play music
or get your Ph.D. in audio analysis?"
- James of Tuscon
Correspondent:: purple
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 20:36:31 -0500
--------
On 12/11/04 10:48 AM, in article
NoRestraint-E5DF36.09480111122004@news1.west.earthlink.net, "HellPope Huey"
wrote:
> In article ,
> Zapanaz wrote:
>
>> I don't know why it should make a difference in the world to me if bob
>> dean or this guy in new york or whoever else rips off something I had
>> no part at all in originating. Really, I suppose if I knew less about
>> it, I would just think it was cool that there was this basically
>> "pure" but inapproachable beating black heart to it, the "real" church
>> of the subgenius,
>
> There isn't one; its just a constructed, chortling boogeyman devised to
> sell t-shirts and purdy pitchers to borderline cases so they can
> celebrate membership in a church that's 98% data packets. Too bad you
> can't just phone in Catholicism or Islam the same way. Things'd be FAR
> quieter. Yessir, we sure do love that "Bob," but air kisses assure you
> of not contracting mono or Krellknobian Foreskin Leprosy.
Where did you make the wrong turn, fuckface? Look at it!!!
The Great Bob Dobbs
Correspondent:: purple
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 20:33:26 -0500
--------
On 12/11/04 3:02 AM, in article kq9lr09mkbl6umue04166th1eo2f0g8p3q@4ax.com,
"Zapanaz" wrote:
> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:36:01 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
> wrote:
>
>> I got several emails about that one during the course of today.
>>
>> I must again dutifully point out that Bob is the most common first name
>> in the English-speaking world, and that every asshole with a pipe is
>> not J. R. "Bob" Dobbs.
>>
>> 'Cause if every asshole with a pipe IS, then I'm J.R. "Bob" Dobbs too,
>> and, unlike Little Fyodor in that song, I DON'T "wanna be "Bob."
>>
>> It figures that Chinese teens and twits would love our trite garbage.
>> Our teens and twits love the Chinese trite garbage.
>>
>> When we were in Brighton we were told of a British ad campaign of a few
>> years back, for candy or something, involving "The Cult of Jim." The
>> product came with the wise sayings of Jim, which included things like
>> "Pull some of your own wool over your eyes" and "Too much is always
>> good, and not enough is always bad," clumsy rip-offs like that. I
>> didn't hear about that one myself, when it was happening. I guess it's
>> old news now.
>>
>> When Pinks think to steal "Bob," they always get it SO VERY VERY wrong.
>
> From that article:
>
> "“It’s amazing that a foreigner can understand me so well. ... You are
> a good listener and also a patient teacher,” wrote ”Connie” from
> Tianjin. “I like to consider you as a friend who is sincere.”"
>
> There is no way that "Connie" is a coincidence ... I mean, "bob",
> maybe, but "bob" -and- "connie"?
>
> I don't know why it should make a difference in the world to me if bob
> dean or this guy in new york or whoever else rips off something I had
> no part at all in originating. Really, I suppose if I knew less about
> it, I would just think it was cool that there was this basically
> "pure" but inapproachable beating black heart to it, the "real" church
> of the subgenius, and that all these imitation-birdies occasionally
> come, dip their beaks in it, get it hopelessly wrong, but however
> wrong manage to wind up so insanely askew from their contact with what
> they are ripping off that the results are interesting despite them.
>
> Well better to poison the world than to get rich I guess. I don't
> know. I've lost my train of thought. Fuck the bozos.
Fuck you. I've mastered more of your CHURCH than you'll ever...
The Great Bob Dobbs
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 11 Dec 2004 16:57:50 GMT
--------
>When Pinks think to steal "Bob," they always get it SO VERY VERY wrong.
Thats becuase they fail to see the the "joke" and fail to realise the "joke" is
actually on "them"
Not only are the Normals the "joke", but they are also the straight man!
The CON is a Normal wlaking down the sidewalk reading a newspaper. "Bob" is the
open manhole in which the Normal falls into.
"Bob" is the pie, "Bob" is the arm of Moe, "Bob" is the pie fight at the end of
the Three Stooges Short.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"
Charles E. Montague
Correspondent:: purple
Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 20:40:04 -0500
--------
On 12/11/04 11:57 AM, in article
20041211115750.08355.00001781@mb-m04.aol.com, "Rev. Richard Skull"
wrote:
>> When Pinks think to steal "Bob," they always get it SO VERY VERY wrong.
>
> Thats becuase they fail to see the the "joke" and fail to realise the "joke"
> is
> actually on "them"
>
> Not only are the Normals the "joke", but they are also the straight man!
>
> The CON is a Normal wlaking down the sidewalk reading a newspaper. "Bob" is
> the
> open manhole in which the Normal falls into.
>
> "Bob" is the pie, "Bob" is the arm of Moe, "Bob" is the pie fight at the end
> of
> the Three Stooges Short.
How do you American SUB-PINKS get it so wrong????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Great Bob Dobbs
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 13 Dec 2004 16:55:40 -0800
--------
You're right...sorry. Try harder next time to ignore your crap.
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 13 Dec 2004 17:02:46 -0800
--------
You're right...sorry. Try harder next time to ignore your crap.
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 12:59:32 -0800
--------
In article , purple
wrote:
> On 12/11/04 11:57 AM, in article
> 20041211115750.08355.00001781@mb-m04.aol.com, "Rev. Richard Skull"
> wrote:
>
> >> When Pinks think to steal "Bob," they always get it SO VERY VERY wrong.
> >
> > Thats becuase they fail to see the the "joke" and fail to realise the "joke"
> > is
> > actually on "them"
> >
> > Not only are the Normals the "joke", but they are also the straight man!
> >
> > The CON is a Normal wlaking down the sidewalk reading a newspaper. "Bob" is
> > the
> > open manhole in which the Normal falls into.
> >
> > "Bob" is the pie, "Bob" is the arm of Moe, "Bob" is the pie fight at the end
> > of
> > the Three Stooges Short.
>
> How do you American SUB-PINKS get it so wrong????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
What? You mean you don't know?
pb
Correspondent:: purple
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 19:14:04 -0500
--------
On 12/17/04 3:59 PM, in article 171220041259320478%bear@pole.com, "polar
bear" wrote:
> In article , purple
> wrote:
>
>> On 12/11/04 11:57 AM, in article
>> 20041211115750.08355.00001781@mb-m04.aol.com, "Rev. Richard Skull"
>> wrote:
>>
>>>> When Pinks think to steal "Bob," they always get it SO VERY VERY wrong.
>>>
>>> Thats becuase they fail to see the the "joke" and fail to realise the "joke"
>>> is
>>> actually on "them"
>>>
>>> Not only are the Normals the "joke", but they are also the straight man!
>>>
>>> The CON is a Normal wlaking down the sidewalk reading a newspaper. "Bob" is
>>> the
>>> open manhole in which the Normal falls into.
>>>
>>> "Bob" is the pie, "Bob" is the arm of Moe, "Bob" is the pie fight at the end
>>> of
>>> the Three Stooges Short.
>>
>> How do you American SUB-PINKS get it so wrong????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
> What? You mean you don't know?
No, I was just being rhetorical/phatic which is all one can be in this
medium. Nobody's right, nobody's wrong here - just phatic.
Remember PHAT FARM - effects precede causes. Kids always get there first in
the post-Marconi Galaxies.
The Great Bob Dobbs
Correspondent:: "jethro_hell@yahoo.com"
Date: 11 Dec 2004 07:51:51 -0800
--------
Then there's this Bob, who more resembles something one might put in a
pipe:
http://www.angryflower.com/wackya.html