a dream
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 23:11:10 -0800
--------
Some big computer/internet company is releasing their hot new
product/web site or whatever.
There are these big view screen/billboard things set up all over the
street and on the sides of buildings, and there are speakers set up on
vans and in the air somehow, and they are going to do their big big
product release announcement.
I am trying to get across the street and across a parking lot when a
cop stops me. There are several cops with a representative from the
company. The representative tells me that I have to wait on the
street corner until the announcement is over.
"It'll only be twenty minutes or so", he reassures me. If I don't
stand there and watch, he explains, I might miss part of it.
I am furious at this. It doesn't cross my mind though to just tell
him to take his stupid product announcement and fuck off, I promise
him that I will listen real close to the audio portion but that I
won't get anything from the slide show that I wouldn't get from the
audio part.
He is really mad at being challenged like this. Poor guy, he's only
doing his job after all. But he is absolutely sure that there is
stuff in the slide show that I wouldn't get from the audio.
This degenerates into a long and amazingly pointless argument where I
am thinking of examples of other product announcements where there was
nothing in the slide show that wasn't in the audio and he is arguing
back that there was too, etc.
The cops look on impassively, apparently the company rep guy is pretty
much in charge of the rules here.
End time infotainment indeed.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
> Losing your edge?
>
I don't even have a point.
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 08:38:46 -0700
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
>
> I am trying to get across the street and across
> a parking lot when a cop stops me. There are
> several cops with a representative from the
> company. The representative tells me that I
> have to wait on the street corner until the
> announcement is over...
Forced commercialization is one of those things
that subdues my better "Bob" nature and brings
out the Eris-Laughing-Insane-Xena-Bitch in me.
Possible results:
"Oh my god, officer! You have to stop them!
They're causing CANCER! They're the same company
that makes AIDS!"
"WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK
UP LOUDER! DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW SIGN LANGUAGE?
I DON'T KNOW SIGN LANGUAGE, SO YOU'LL HAVE TO
SHOUT! IS THIS A PARADE? WHERE ARE THE ELEPHANTS?
IS IT SUPPOSED TO HURT WHEN YOU URINATE? I'VE BEEN
HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THIS SORT OF BLOODY-PUS-Y
DISCHARGE AND IT REALLY, REALLY HURTS WHEN I URINATE!,
etc."
"Say, officer? I think I saw that corporate guy in
a show like 'America's Most Wanted' for armed robbery
and they killed some people when robbing a bank, but
I don't want to get involved, so forget it. It's not
the guy who killed those cops."
"HEY! HEY! HO! HO! GEORGE BUSH HAS GOT TO GO!
STOP THE WAR NOW! NO BLOOD FOR OIL!"
"Nobody listen to this! This company is owned by
BIG TOBACCO! They're trying to poison our children
with their POISON! Secondhand smoke KILLS! SAY NO
TO BIG TOBACCO! OVER SIX MILLION PEOPLE DIE EVERY
YEAR FROM SMOKING!"
"STAY AWAY FROM ME! I KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE!
I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY DO! YOU CAN'T HIDE BEHIND THE
POLICE AND THE STATE DEPARTMENT FOREVER! THE FAMILIES
OF YOUR VICTIMS WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU DID! YOU'LL
HANG FOR IT, YOU BUTCHERS!"
--
Herring communicate with each other
via a high-pitched, "raspberry"-like
sound emitted from their anuses.
These noises are not produced by
digestive gases.
-- from 'The New Scientist'
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 12:45:12 -0800
--------
In article , Zapanaz
wrote:
> Some big computer/internet company is releasing their hot new
> product/web site or whatever.
>
> There are these big view screen/billboard things set up all over the
> street and on the sides of buildings, and there are speakers set up on
> vans and in the air somehow, and they are going to do their big big
> product release announcement.
>
> I am trying to get across the street and across a parking lot when a
> cop stops me. There are several cops with a representative from the
> company. The representative tells me that I have to wait on the
> street corner until the announcement is over.
>
> "It'll only be twenty minutes or so", he reassures me. If I don't
> stand there and watch, he explains, I might miss part of it.
>
> I am furious at this. It doesn't cross my mind though to just tell
> him to take his stupid product announcement and fuck off, I promise
> him that I will listen real close to the audio portion but that I
> won't get anything from the slide show that I wouldn't get from the
> audio part.
>
> He is really mad at being challenged like this. Poor guy, he's only
> doing his job after all. But he is absolutely sure that there is
> stuff in the slide show that I wouldn't get from the audio.
>
> This degenerates into a long and amazingly pointless argument where I
> am thinking of examples of other product announcements where there was
> nothing in the slide show that wasn't in the audio and he is arguing
> back that there was too, etc.
>
> The cops look on impassively, apparently the company rep guy is pretty
> much in charge of the rules here.
>
>
>
> End time infotainment indeed.
Now it get it! You're not Jason Christie after all. You're Dilbert!
pb