'...A Vatican university said on Thursday it will hold
a special "theoretical and practical" course for Roman
Catholic priests on Satanism and exorcism in response
to what the Church says is a worrying interest in the
occult, particularly among the young...'
*******
After reading this fluff, I realized that no one, not
even the Church of Satan, offers *Endorcisms*, that is,
implanting demons into people who want them, or even
those that don't want them.
And there's money to be made in them thar' demons!
So I propose that the Church of the SubGenius should be
the first in this high-margin, low-risk growth service.
"Bob" knows that we have an s-load of demons, monsters,
evil gods and other nasties sitting around, gathering
unprofitable dust, and hoping that we end up on their
dinner plate.
So I say, "Let's put these demons to work for "Bob"!"
At the next devival, wherever it is, should offer to
perform a stage Endorcism, for a modest fee, and in
reward, whoever is Endrocized, gets to do a Jeckyll
and Hyde routine. Or Heckle and Jeckyll. Something
like that.
--
"I can imagine a LOT when it comes
to unimaginable power."
-- nu-monet
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 23:41:34 GMT
--------
In article <41B8D996.4DF8@succeeds.com>,
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> http://tinyurl.com/5umun
>
> '...A Vatican university said on Thursday it will hold
> a special "theoretical and practical" course for Roman
> Catholic priests on Satanism and exorcism in response
> to what the Church says is a worrying interest in the
> occult, particularly among the young...'
> *******
> After reading this fluff, I realized that no one, not
> even the Church of Satan, offers *Endorcisms*, that is,
> implanting demons into people who want them, or even
> those that don't want them.
You think this Church needs MORE demons?? Shit. I hereby canonize you
as the very craziest mutha in the entire group. If you'd had the special
filter goggles on like I have and saw how MANY demons already hover over
us all, you wouldn't just whiz on the electric fence: You'd wet your ass
and then clinch it with your CHEEKS.
I couldn't handle another endorcism. This vessel is FULL, mack.
--
HellPope Huey
My ruby slippers got turned at the heels
The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing.
- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars
why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper
and then put them in my mouth.
- Mignon McLaughlin
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 16:42:13 -0700
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> In article <41B8D996.4DF8@succeeds.com>,
> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>
> > http://tinyurl.com/5umun
> >
> > '...A Vatican university said on Thursday it will hold
> > a special "theoretical and practical" course for Roman
> > Catholic priests on Satanism and exorcism in response
> > to what the Church says is a worrying interest in the
> > occult, particularly among the young...'
> > *******
> > After reading this fluff, I realized that no one, not
> > even the Church of Satan, offers *Endorcisms*, that is,
> > implanting demons into people who want them, or even
> > those that don't want them.
>
> You think this Church needs MORE demons?? Shit. I hereby
> canonize you as the very craziest mutha in the entire group.
> If you'd had the special filter goggles on like I have and
> saw how MANY demons already hover over us all, you wouldn't
> just whiz on the electric fence: You'd wet your ass and then
> clinch it with your CHEEKS.
>
> I couldn't handle another endorcism. This vessel is FULL, mack.
>
Well, obviously you need a spiritual demonic BUTT PLUG!
To keep your other demons from leaking out all over the
carpet. And so you don't get demonic railroad tracks on
your undies and shit.
So HOW MUCH WILL YOU PAY "BOB" FOR A DEMONIC BUTT PLUG?
More is better. And bigger. You know what I mean.
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 02:30:34 GMT
> > You think this Church needs MORE demons?? Shit. I hereby
> > canonize you as the very craziest mutha in the entire group.
> > If you'd had the special filter goggles on like I have and
> > saw how MANY demons already hover over us all, you wouldn't
> > just whiz on the electric fence: You'd wet your ass and then
> > clinch it with your CHEEKS.
> > I couldn't handle another endorcism. This vessel is FULL, mack.
>
> Well, obviously you need a spiritual demonic BUTT PLUG!
> To keep your other demons from leaking out all over the
> carpet. And so you don't get demonic railroad tracks on
> your undies and shit.
> So HOW MUCH WILL YOU PAY "BOB" FOR A DEMONIC BUTT PLUG?
> More is better. And bigger. You know what I mean.
Are you KIDDING?? I joined this cockyomammy outfit in 1981. I've had
"Bob's" plug so far up my ass for so long, my cheeks bulge like I was a
mutant, 322-pound, 6'4" chipmunk with the mumps. I've ALREADY PAID. I
KEEP *ON* PAYING. IF I COULD WALK THAT WAY, I WOULDN'T NEED THE FROP
TALCUM. OW OW.
--
HellPope Huey
My ruby slippers got turned at the heels
The only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing.
- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars
why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper
and then put them in my mouth.
- Mignon McLaughlin
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Thu, 09 Dec 2004 18:50:10 -0800
--------
On Thu, 09 Dec 2004 16:02:46 -0700, "nu-monet v7.0"
wrote:
>'...A Vatican university said on Thursday it will hold
>a special "theoretical and practical" course for Roman
>Catholic priests on Satanism and exorcism in response
>to what the Church says is a worrying interest in the
>occult, particularly among the young...'
>*******
>
>After reading this fluff, I realized that no one, not
>even the Church of Satan, offers *Endorcisms*, that is,
>implanting demons into people who want them, or even
>those that don't want them.
well ya know
Actually pretty much every religion offers exactly that service,
putting demons (well if you include gods, angels, and other assorted
comic book characters) into people. For that matter, so does the
Catholic Church, what do you think the Eucharist is? The only
difference is which ones they consider good spirits versus which ones
they consider bad ones.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Haircut or lobotomy, sir?"
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:35:46 GMT
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Thu, 09 Dec 2004 16:02:46 -0700, "nu-monet v7.0"
> wrote:
>
>>'...A Vatican university said on Thursday it will hold
>>a special "theoretical and practical" course for Roman
>>Catholic priests on Satanism and exorcism in response
>>to what the Church says is a worrying interest in the
>>occult, particularly among the young...'
>>*******
>>
>>After reading this fluff, I realized that no one, not
>>even the Church of Satan, offers *Endorcisms*, that is,
>>implanting demons into people who want them, or even
>>those that don't want them.
>
> well ya know
>
> Actually pretty much every religion offers exactly that service,
> putting demons (well if you include gods, angels, and other assorted
> comic book characters) into people. For that matter, so does the
> Catholic Church, what do you think the Eucharist is? The only
> difference is which ones they consider good spirits versus which ones
> they consider bad ones.
Some of us, when reading ancient documents, parse "has a demon" as "has
a severe mental illness," since mental illness was commonly thought to
be demonic possession until the 18th century.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 11:47:32 -0800
--------
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:35:46 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
wrote:
>> Actually pretty much every religion offers exactly that service,
>> putting demons (well if you include gods, angels, and other assorted
>> comic book characters) into people. For that matter, so does the
>> Catholic Church, what do you think the Eucharist is? The only
>> difference is which ones they consider good spirits versus which ones
>> they consider bad ones.
>
>Some of us, when reading ancient documents, parse "has a demon" as "has
>a severe mental illness," since mental illness was commonly thought to
>be demonic possession until the 18th century.
That would put a new slant on the Eucharist all right.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"Once you snip my responses to things being posted to and about me,
then
you have nothing to read."
-John Schnieder II
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 20:33:10 GMT
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:35:46 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
> wrote:
>
>>> Actually pretty much every religion offers exactly that service,
>>> putting demons (well if you include gods, angels, and other assorted
>>> comic book characters) into people. For that matter, so does the
>>> Catholic Church, what do you think the Eucharist is? The only
>>> difference is which ones they consider good spirits versus which ones
>>> they consider bad ones.
>>
>>Some of us, when reading ancient documents, parse "has a demon" as "has
>>a severe mental illness," since mental illness was commonly thought to
>>be demonic possession until the 18th century.
>
> That would put a new slant on the Eucharist all right.
As practiced by fundamentalist Catholics, anyway. Non-fundies recognize
the symbolic nature of the tradition.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 12:45:38 -0800
--------
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 20:33:10 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
wrote:
>Zapanaz wrote:
>> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:35:46 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
>> wrote:
>>
>>>> Actually pretty much every religion offers exactly that service,
>>>> putting demons (well if you include gods, angels, and other assorted
>>>> comic book characters) into people. For that matter, so does the
>>>> Catholic Church, what do you think the Eucharist is? The only
>>>> difference is which ones they consider good spirits versus which ones
>>>> they consider bad ones.
>>>
>>>Some of us, when reading ancient documents, parse "has a demon" as "has
>>>a severe mental illness," since mental illness was commonly thought to
>>>be demonic possession until the 18th century.
>>
>> That would put a new slant on the Eucharist all right.
>
>As practiced by fundamentalist Catholics, anyway. Non-fundies recognize
>the symbolic nature of the tradition.
So fundamentalists are protestants, southern baptists, and some but
not all catholics?
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
--------------------------
"i don't know why, but in venezuela,
when there's a band that's really popular,
they make shoes about it."---m trujillo
---------------------------
Correspondent:: Artemia Salina Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 04:43:25 -0500
--------
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 12:45:38 -0800, Zapanaz wrote:
> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 20:33:10 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
> wrote:
>
>>Zapanaz wrote:
>>> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:35:46 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
>>> wrote:
You two are the most unfunny comedy team I've ever seen.
If Abbott and Costello were stabbed in the frontal lobes
with a rusty pick axe and lived, they wouldn't be as unfunny
as you two.
What's the kill-filter for when two particular individuals start
a dialog with each other?
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 01:49:59 -0800
--------
On Sun, 12 Dec 2004 04:43:25 -0500, Artemia Salina
wrote:
>On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 12:45:38 -0800, Zapanaz wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 20:33:10 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
>> wrote:
>>
>>>Zapanaz wrote:
>>>> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:35:46 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
>>>> wrote:
>
>You two are the most unfunny comedy team I've ever seen.
>If Abbott and Costello were stabbed in the frontal lobes
>with a rusty pick axe and lived, they wouldn't be as unfunny
>as you two.
>
>What's the kill-filter for when two particular individuals start
>a dialog with each other?
you could kill posts with the word "fundamentalist" in them
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Fuck the good fight.
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 14:00:41 -0700
--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> Some of us, when reading ancient documents,
> parse "has a demon" as "has a severe mental
> illness," since mental illness was commonly
> thought to be demonic possession until the
> 18th century.
Until it was eventually replaced with equally
bogus stuff like Freudian psychology.
Personally, wouldn't you be more comfortable
being possessed by Obo than by being told that
your Id was sodomizing your SuperEgo?
And what sounds more interesting? "Your brain
and most of your internal organs are being re-
built by a colony of nanoroboderos into some
kind of human-machine monstrocity!" or "Yah,
you have zexual interest in your mommy which is
why you dream of der porcupines mit margarine
unt a little bit of garlic!"
Personally, I'll take the demons.
--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)
Correspondent:: Cardinal Vertigo Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 21:41:10 GMT
--------
nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>>
>> Some of us, when reading ancient documents,
>> parse "has a demon" as "has a severe mental
>> illness," since mental illness was commonly
>> thought to be demonic possession until the
>> 18th century.
>
> Until it was eventually replaced with equally
> bogus stuff like Freudian psychology.
Fortunately for everyone, the science of psychology has advanced beyond
its fucked-up early roots.
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:02:30 -0700
--------
Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>
> Fortunately for everyone, the science of
> psychology has advanced beyond its fucked-up
> early roots.
Only the part that makes you want cheese, then
cuts your brain open to find out why.
Human psychology, on the other hand, if far from
what could be called a "science", instead of a
"study". Most of which is "bogus".
One of its greatest failings is that many of those
who become professional psychologists do so in the
discreet hope of finding out what is wrong with
their own brain. They rarely succeed.
And no, psychology still dwells within its fucked
up early roots, based on how many Freudian
psychiatrists are still practicing. And while it
is statistically proveable that 50% of people who
require psychiatric help heal spontaneously, with
the aid of Freudian psychology, this statistic is
radically raised to 50%.
In other words, most practicing psychologists are
at least as effective as priests, in assuring that
suckers are soothed and their annoying extra money
used for a more appropriate purpose.
Excepting those that make you want to crave cheese
then cut your brain open.
--
"I can imagine a LOT when it comes
to unimaginable power."
-- nu-monet
Correspondent:: kdetal@aol.com (kdetal)
Date: 10 Dec 2004 23:22:32 GMT
--------
Nu-monet wrote:
>Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>>
>> Fortunately for everyone, the science of
>> psychology has advanced beyond its fucked-up
>> early roots.
>
>Only the part that makes you want cheese, then
>cuts your brain open to find out why.
>
>Human psychology, on the other hand, if far from
>what could be called a "science", instead of a
>"study". Most of which is "bogus".
>
>One of its greatest failings is that many of those
>who become professional psychologists do so in the
>discreet hope of finding out what is wrong with
>their own brain. They rarely succeed.
>
>And no, psychology still dwells within its fucked
>up early roots, based on how many Freudian
>psychiatrists are still practicing. And while it
>is statistically proveable that 50% of people who
>require psychiatric help heal spontaneously, with
>the aid of Freudian psychology, this statistic is
>radically raised to 50%.
>
>In other words, most practicing psychologists are
>at least as effective as priests, in assuring that
>suckers are soothed and their annoying extra money
>used for a more appropriate purpose.
>
>Excepting those that make you want to crave cheese
>then cut your brain open.
I have to agree with Nu-monet on this one.
Strange as it is.
--
" 'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds." -RAW
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 23:48:21 -0800
--------
On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 21:41:10 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
wrote:
>nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
>> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
>>>
>>> Some of us, when reading ancient documents,
>>> parse "has a demon" as "has a severe mental
>>> illness," since mental illness was commonly
>>> thought to be demonic possession until the
>>> 18th century.
>>
>> Until it was eventually replaced with equally
>> bogus stuff like Freudian psychology.
>
>Fortunately for everyone, the science of psychology has advanced beyond
>its fucked-up early roots.
The science of psychology is an abject failure which contents itself
meekly, nowadays, with prescribing palliative happy-drugs while
grovelling desperately to the self-important nihilists and sobbing
"please don't destroy our science forever, sirs".
The study of psychology has been very strong on theory while being
utterly ineffectual in practice. This is not to criticise it, in fact
I think there is absolutely no question but that Freud and his
descendants have laid some absolutely unshakeable groundwork,
establishing without question that there is such a thing as the
"unconscious mind", that this "unconscious mind" is not only a
powerful influence in the ouranic world but is quite possibly more
substantial in human affairs than the conscious mind, and to some
extent it's hard to doubt that some of the forms which the founders of
analytical psychology have described the unconscious as taking have at
least some validity; the Oedipal complex, Jung's archetypes,
Nietzsche's "will to power", and so on.
But yet in a hundred and some odd years there has been no truly
succesful application of this knowledge. The current state of
analytical psychology is a cowering retreat, and that's all there is
to it.
It is quite possible that Jesus, with his exorcisms of demons and
other hocus pocus, however absurd the literal interpretation of his
ideas might seem, may have been closer to a truly useful and
applicable paradigm than all of our dignified Viennese professors in
smoking jackets and cigars.
But what IS the message of Jesus? Between our fundamentalists who
seem to pop up like mushrooms on the shit-heaps of conventional
religion, and our reasonable apologists eager to reconcile
christianity with the popular superstitions of the day, is there
anything that survives the struggle?
As I see it, personally, Jesus has only one genuinely important
message that transcends all others.
Never contend with somebody who has nothing to lose.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
a cult is a religion without an army.
- nikolai kingsley
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Sat, 11 Dec 2004 16:03:36 GMT
--------
In article ,
Zapanaz wrote:
> As I see it, personally, Jesus has only one genuinely important
> message that transcends all others.
> Never contend with somebody who has nothing to lose.
I think there is a wise codicle, considering what the POLICE did to Him
in the end:
"Never enter a street fight crotch-first."
--
HellPope Huey
If your keyboard is inoperable, press 3.
If you need new plastic keys, press 9.
If you play in a stupid church band
that plays out of date Eagles tunes with Christian Lyrics,
press 3 until death occurs.
"We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities."
- Pogo
"Do you want to play music
or get your Ph.D. in audio analysis?"
- James of Tuscon
Correspondent:: Candlemoth Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 01:23:36 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article ,
> Zapanaz wrote:
>
>
>>As I see it, personally, Jesus has only one genuinely important
>>message that transcends all others.
>>Never contend with somebody who has nothing to lose.
>
Back when I lived on the streets of Dallas, the scariest people out
there were the ones who "just didn't give a shit". If you don't dread
dieing, noone can hurt you.
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod" Date: Wed, 22 Dec 2004 11:52:07 GMT
--------
"Zapanaz" wrote in message
news:g58lr0dnqcbpfe2853982tth85ahf11ahl@4ax.com...
> On Fri, 10 Dec 2004 21:41:10 GMT, Cardinal Vertigo
> wrote:
>
> >nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
> >> Cardinal Vertigo wrote:
> >>>
> >>> Some of us, when reading ancient documents,
> >>> parse "has a demon" as "has a severe mental
> >>> illness," since mental illness was commonly
> >>> thought to be demonic possession until the
> >>> 18th century.
> >>
> >> Until it was eventually replaced with equally
> >> bogus stuff like Freudian psychology.
> >
> >Fortunately for everyone, the science of psychology has advanced
beyond
> >its fucked-up early roots.
>
> The science of psychology is an abject failure which contents itself
> meekly, nowadays, with prescribing palliative happy-drugs while
> grovelling desperately to the self-important nihilists and sobbing
> "please don't destroy our science forever, sirs".
>
> The study of psychology has been very strong on theory while being
> utterly ineffectual in practice. This is not to criticise it, in fact
> I think there is absolutely no question but that Freud and his
> descendants have laid some absolutely unshakeable groundwork,
> establishing without question that there is such a thing as the
> "unconscious mind", that this "unconscious mind" is not only a
> powerful influence in the ouranic world but is quite possibly more
> substantial in human affairs than the conscious mind, and to some
> extent it's hard to doubt that some of the forms which the founders of
> analytical psychology have described the unconscious as taking have at
> least some validity; the Oedipal complex, Jung's archetypes,
> Nietzsche's "will to power", and so on.
>
> But yet in a hundred and some odd years there has been no truly
> succesful application of this knowledge. The current state of
> analytical psychology is a cowering retreat, and that's all there is
> to it.
>
> It is quite possible that Jesus, with his exorcisms of demons and
> other hocus pocus, however absurd the literal interpretation of his
> ideas might seem, may have been closer to a truly useful and
> applicable paradigm than all of our dignified Viennese professors in
> smoking jackets and cigars.
Except cigars are real. Jesus never was.
However Niels and Frasier Crane do some good on their TV show, so maybe
there is hope in Them. After all many have seen them and their good
works; there are stories about their helpfulness to mankind, especially
in the Seattle region of the northern wetlands.
> But what IS the message of Jesus? Between our fundamentalists who
> seem to pop up like mushrooms on the shit-heaps of conventional
> religion, and our reasonable apologists eager to reconcile
> christianity with the popular superstitions of the day, is there
> anything that survives the struggle?
If you devote your life to double-speak; talking about things that don't
exist, and asking for money to help you fool more people, you are bound
to crack up eventually. You may start off with good intentions, but you
end up corrupted.
You can liken it to the police force. Some go in with honest intention
and become corrupt. Some go in for the power. No one comes through
unscathed.
--------
Wouldn't "endorcisms" fall under the heading of "sickenings" as in "healings
AND sickenings"? What if you could do this long distance? Take the Bush/Cheney
daemon & put it into Bob Tilton - for instance? Or vice versa!
generals gathered in their masses,
David
aka
the Rebi "Slash" Foreskin
(R/4)
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 08:58:41 -0700
--------
David Langlois --- Ball serves Baal wrote:
>
> Wouldn't "endorcisms" fall under the heading of
> "sickenings"? What if you could do this long distance?
Well, having some experience with receiving souls
from some distance away, I'll give it a whirl.
I'll send a demon, nominally "Irving", to co-inhabit
your body for a while. If you want to keep Irving,
then send some money to Rev Stang. However, this is
a "no obligation, short-time offer", so if you don't
wish to keep Irving, then don't send Rev Stang any
money.
Let us know how it works out.
p.s. Irving likes bagels, but not too much sun.
--
"It is already like a government job,"
he said, "but with goats."
-- Iranian goat smuggler