CotSG relics
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 11:21:23 -0700
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In case any of you are contemplating pegging out
in the near future, you might consider donating
certain no-longer-needed body parts to the Church
to be used as sacred relics.
I think I can pretty well guarantee that no good
would come from your doing so. But perhaps, some
good entertainment.
Certainly, someone in the Church could integrate
some noteworthy little body part, say a toe bone,
appendix, or pickled testicle, into a memorable bit
of performance art, with a suitably reverential
theme.
You don't even have to be dead to contribute a
relic. Pulled teeth, feces, Joe Cosby's slightly
radioactive semen, hair of Huey, Nenslo's penis,
etc. As long as they are carefully sealed in
AIR-TIGHT plastic containers.
Who knows how long SubGenius supplicants in the
future might travel across scorching oceans and
raging deserts, lava floes and the lands of
menacing Cthulu-worshipping tribes JUST TO SEE
YOUR STUFF?
IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS DOES *NOT* MEAN I WANT THESE
RELICS. I already have enough of a storage problem
with all of these generic Miracle Whip jars laying
about. Rev. Stang is prolly full up, too. So IF
you decide to make yourself a do-it-yourselfer relic,
HANG ON TO THE SUMBITCH YOURSELF. Bring it or mail
it, return postage guaranteed, to whoever is holding
a devival somewhere, if you like.
If you want to be revered as one of "The Ancient Ones"
who could do no wrong even if they utterly contradict
the Church doctrine they everybody else believed, you
have to set a foundation. Reverends in the future are
counting on you to make them money from suckers.
--
"Do not EVER watch a Rammstein video when
you are fried on Hawaiian mushrooms."
--take my word for it