Dear Sub-Genius Pet owners
Correspondent:: "frater S.O.D.D.I."
Date: 14 Feb 2005 21:26:12 -0800

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I was discussing matters with my sig oth this evening and she admitted
that she had never tasted a dog biscuit.

I found this quite unusual, as I have known exactly what my pets are
eating for decades now, and have made it a point to sample their
vittles.

Just the dry stuff, mind you... the wet stuff has too much
dogiliciously good aroma, if you know what I mean.

I don't like the stuff. But if it was really GOOD and I'd been missing
out, that would be a bad thing, right? And if it was real AWFUL, I
wouldn't want to feed it to them.

Is it unusual for me to to have tried a bit or two of the doggie
kibble, or a morsel of Meow Mix?

Or is SHE the deviant? The one without the healthy curiosity?

And was it a bad idea for me to even mention my culinary adventures?



Correspondent:: "Chain Smerker"
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 05:35:26 GMT

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"frater S.O.D.D.I." wrote in message
news:1108445172.571728.74800@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
>I was discussing matters with my sig oth this evening and she admitted
> that she had never tasted a dog biscuit.
>
> I found this quite unusual, as I have known exactly what my pets are
> eating for decades now, and have made it a point to sample their
> vittles.
>
> Just the dry stuff, mind you... the wet stuff has too much
> dogiliciously good aroma, if you know what I mean.
>
> I don't like the stuff. But if it was really GOOD and I'd been missing
> out, that would be a bad thing, right? And if it was real AWFUL, I
> wouldn't want to feed it to them.
>
> Is it unusual for me to to have tried a bit or two of the doggie
> kibble, or a morsel of Meow Mix?
>
> Or is SHE the deviant? The one without the healthy curiosity?
>
> And was it a bad idea for me to even mention my culinary adventures?
>

Not at all, many old age pensioners and poor people eat dog/cat food on a
regular basis even the "wet food", think about it where else can you get $3
for half a kilo of meat.

Id probably take her to the nearest nursing home and show her that is not so
unusal, for laughs you may want to crush some dog biscuits in a processer
and add it to her favourite breafast cereal (of course checking before hand
to make sure the ingrediants are safe for human & yeti consumption)

I wonder why im single...




Correspondent:: Eddie Vroom
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 06:58:49 GMT

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frater S.O.D.D.I. wrote:

> Is it unusual for me to to have tried a bit or two of the doggie
> kibble, or a morsel of Meow Mix?

In my experience, it's irrelevant. My critetrs have been sufficiently
affectionate as to slip me the tongue right after chowing down on
several occasions. So I regularly sample their diet regardless of my
feelings toward the matter.

--
Here's the punchline: I wasn't joking, motherfucker!

the Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor Eddie Vroom
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004


Correspondent:: "paco"
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 07:19:15 -0500

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"frater S.O.D.D.I." wrote in message
news:1108445172.571728.74800@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> I was discussing matters with my sig oth this evening and she admitted
> that she had never tasted a dog biscuit.
>
> I found this quite unusual, as I have known exactly what my pets are
> eating for decades now, and have made it a point to sample their
> vittles.
>
> Just the dry stuff, mind you... the wet stuff has too much
> dogiliciously good aroma, if you know what I mean.
>
> I don't like the stuff. But if it was really GOOD and I'd been missing
> out, that would be a bad thing, right? And if it was real AWFUL, I
> wouldn't want to feed it to them.
>
> Is it unusual for me to to have tried a bit or two of the doggie
> kibble, or a morsel of Meow Mix?
>
> Or is SHE the deviant? The one without the healthy curiosity?
>
> And was it a bad idea for me to even mention my culinary adventures?
>

Most likely your increasing your chances of getting the Yeti form of BSE.
Or "Mad Yetti disease". The trouble is that it is really hard to get an
accurate diagnosis.




Correspondent:: phy
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 14:45:20 GMT

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"frater S.O.D.D.I." wrote in
news:1108445172.571728.74800@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com:

> I was discussing matters with my sig oth this evening and she admitted
> that she had never tasted a dog biscuit.
>
> I found this quite unusual, as I have known exactly what my pets are
> eating for decades now, and have made it a point to sample their
> vittles.
>
> Just the dry stuff, mind you... the wet stuff has too much
> dogiliciously good aroma, if you know what I mean.
>
> I don't like the stuff. But if it was really GOOD and I'd been missing
> out, that would be a bad thing, right? And if it was real AWFUL, I
> wouldn't want to feed it to them.
>
> Is it unusual for me to to have tried a bit or two of the doggie
> kibble, or a morsel of Meow Mix?
>
> Or is SHE the deviant? The one without the healthy curiosity?
>
> And was it a bad idea for me to even mention my culinary adventures?
>

I tried a piece of dog kibble when I was real little, like around 5 or 6
years old. I am not sure if it was because I was curious or hungry. I think
a bit of both. I didn't like it too much. I wouldn't eat it again. I know a
guy who works at the local Purina company. One of the unpleasant duties is
to keep the rats away to reduce the amount of feces to acceptable levels.
Don't worry, when they run everything through the extruder, it cooks out
hot enough to sterilize everything.

-phy


Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 11:48:55 -0500

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In article <1108445172.571728.74800@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>,
frater S.O.D.D.I. wrote:


>
> And was it a bad idea for me to even mention my culinary adventures?
>

You should try fish food -- the stuff you shake into your aquarium
sparingly, mostly dried brine shrimp. That stuff is great for long
hikes.

Go ahead! Try it! MMMMMMMMM

Lizard Mix also is not bad.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 15 Feb 2005 09:18:27 -0800

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I dunno, I seem to recall Mel Gibson consuming moderate quanities of
dog food in the Lethal Weapon movies, and lo and behold, ten or fifteen
years later, he made an entire film about someone getting the
ever-loving shit kicked out of him for almost an hour. (Which would
have been great if it was anyone BUT Jesus Christ. Nenslo for instance.
I'd slap down my $8.50 to see him knocked around for 120 minutes of my
time.) So the connection is clear: Eat pet food, become a sadist.



Correspondent:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 15 Feb 2005 09:45:15 -0800

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I once read an interesting Statistic that the Can Dog food companies
were once spending more per capita on bill boards in inner city slums
then the Suburbs despite the fatc that pet ownership was extreamly low
in those areas!



Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 19:05:15 GMT

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"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:

>I once read an interesting Statistic that the Can Dog food companies
>were once spending more per capita on bill boards in inner city slums
>then the Suburbs despite the fatc that pet ownership was extreamly low
>in those areas!
>


Yo, dog! Wassup wit dat?




Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 18:04:57 GMT

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In article <1108445172.571728.74800@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>,
"frater S.O.D.D.I." wrote:

> I was discussing matters with my sig oth this evening and she admitted
> that she had never tasted a dog biscuit.

I'm pretty sure I have dined on it at both the Brushwood snack bar and
once at a Hardee's. The nearest some "beef" ever came to a cow is when
an underpaid, negative-IQ nimrod waved a hoof over the vat so they could
skirt the USDA inspectors. Yep, that's some mighty fine GERBIL.

--

HellPope Huey
My guardian angel is a drunk.

A church with no great anguish on its heart
has no great music on its lips.
- Karl Barth

Why is a birthday cake the only food
you can blow on and spit on
and everybody rushes to get a piece?
- Bobby Kelton