Good News! -- "Bob" is comming so get off your ass now!
Correspondent:: Unclaimed Mysteries
Date: Tue, 08 Feb 2005 03:29:14 GMT
--------
leafy seaspinich wrote:
> wrote in message
> news:1107718620.326994.76360@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
>
>>Good News!
>>
>>Do you know how simple it is to go to Heaven after this
>>life has ended?
>
>
> I'm in Heaven ALREADY you dipshit!
>
> I've found "BOB" !
>
> Learn about "Bob" here---> www.subgenius.com
>
> Learn about the Church Of The Subgenius here..er..
> ..we mean here--> http://www.modemac.com/page4.html
>
> ARE YOU ABNORMAL?
> ---> Then you are probably BETTER than most people!
>
> IF you suspect that things are much worse than you ever suspected...
> IF the only thing you've been able to laugh at for the last
> five years is the fact that NOTHING is funny anymore...
> IF you sometimes want to collar people on the street and
> scream that you're more different than they could possible *imagine*....
> IF you see the whole universe as one vast morbid sense of sick humor..
> IF the current "Age of Progress" seems more like the Dark Ages to you...
> IF you are looking for an inherently contradictory religion
> that will condone megadegeneracy and yet tell you that you
> are "above" everyone else...
>
> IF you can possibly help us with a donation....
>
> Then...
>
> The Church of the SubGenius could save your sanity!
>
> -Your secret wishes can be granted in full - once you know what they are!
>
> "You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think."
> -J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, 1961
>
>
"Bob" is no "Elmer."
C.Q. "Elmer" Dobbs was born on May 19, 1956 in Thunderbolt GA. At the
age of 4 the precocious child achieved the Extraordinary Class Amateur
Radio License and was immediately whisked away from his adopted parents
Ed and Tybee Crane to the infamous Groom Lake, Nevada "Area 51." Young
"Elmer" reappeared without warning in 1974 as a young blue-eyed soul
crooner named Smokey Dobbs and became a sensation in the old-moneyed yet
discreet Savannah gay community. After operating an antique radio museum
for several years, he relocated to Atlanta in 1986 and three years later
fell to a vicious heroin addiction which nearly killed him. At this
moment he realized that sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll meant nothing
unless the purity and sanctity of the ham radio license was preserved.
The no-code movement was the chief threat and he dedicated himself to
championing the Code. That and making money by urinating out the pure
unmetabolized methadone he received at the drug treatment clinic and
reselling it to Little Five Points R.E.M. wannabes.
I learned ham radio from him around this time. His classes were
reknowned for the salty language he tapped out during code practice.
Nobody knows the current whereabouts of "Elmer" Dobbs. Rumors that his
older brother had him killed or preserved in stasis as an involuntary
organ donor spread through the Subgenius clique in the late 1990s, but
since "Bob" hasn't been assassinated in nearly a decade, he has had no
use for his younger sibling's innards.
Some say there is no "Elmer." I disagree. I've seen him. Of course,
that's just like, my opinion, man.
73 Corry K4DOH
--
It Came From C. L. Smith's Unclaimed Mysteries.
http://www.unclaimedmysteries.net
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2005 20:05:23 -0800
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>> The Church of the SubGenius could save your sanity!
>>
or BETTER
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
Spelling I can deal with; I have friends on AOL.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 08 Feb 2005 05:52:21 GMT
--------
In article ,
Zapanaz wrote:
> >> The Church of the SubGenius could save your sanity!
> >>
> > or BETTER
It saved mine years ago, but its been in the freezer for too long, so
now its all shriveled and brown. That's okay, I never really found a use
for it. My appendix went to some kook in Wyoming for5 $180 on ebay, but
the sanity market is totally flat. Drink cough syrup, make friends, win
valuable prizes! Lose yer keys now, ask me how! Also yar dig buggerty,
now half-price.
--
HellPope Huey
I mostly just want a better chair
and to not have to hold the chicken
between my knees.
Is that so WRONG??
How do I know pornography depraves and corrupts?
It depraves and corrupts me.
- Malcolm Muggeridge
"You think Christmas falls out of a clear blue sky??
Well it DOESN'T!! It falls out of my holly-jolly BUTT!!"
- "Family Guy"
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 7 Feb 2005 22:37:10 -0800
--------
> >> The Church of the SubGenius could save your sanity!
> >>
>
> or BETTER
OR WORSE, actually.
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Tue, 08 Feb 2005 03:33:58 -0800
--------
On Tue, 08 Feb 2005 03:29:14 GMT, Unclaimed Mysteries
wrote:
>C.Q. "Elmer" Dobbs was born on May 19, 1956 in Thunderbolt GA At the
>age of 4
the Dobbs were always creepy that way.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
If I had a robot I would rent an apartment and instruct the robot to fill the
entire apartment with bricks. Bricks and mortar. Then when the landlord opened
the door he would think I had my robot brick over the door, but he would be
wrong! The entire apartment would be filled solid with bricks! Hahahahha!
- Zosodada
Correspondent:: Unclaimed Mysteries
Date: Tue, 08 Feb 2005 17:46:41 GMT
--------
Zapanaz wrote:
> On Tue, 08 Feb 2005 03:29:14 GMT, Unclaimed Mysteries
> wrote:
>
>
>>C.Q. "Elmer" Dobbs was born on May 19, 1956 in Thunderbolt GA At the
>>age of 4
>
>
> the Dobbs were always creepy that way.
>
Heh. Forgive me. I wrote this while sober. Upon further review, I
wuldn't chainge a thnig.
I just found it odd that a post about Dobbs would appear in that pinkest
of newsgroups.
Corry
--
It Came From C. L. Smith's Unclaimed Mysteries.
http://www.unclaimedmysteries.net
Of course I went to law school. - Warren Zevon, "Mr. Bad Example"
Correspondent:: Zapanaz
Date: Tue, 08 Feb 2005 10:26:11 -0800
--------
On Tue, 08 Feb 2005 17:46:41 GMT, Unclaimed Mysteries
wrote:
>Zapanaz wrote:
>> On Tue, 08 Feb 2005 03:29:14 GMT, Unclaimed Mysteries
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>C.Q. "Elmer" Dobbs was born on May 19, 1956 in Thunderbolt GA At the
>>>age of 4
>>
>>
>> the Dobbs were always creepy that way.
>>
>
>Heh. Forgive me. I wrote this while sober. Upon further review, I
>wuldn't chainge a thnig.
>
>I just found it odd that a post about Dobbs would appear in that pinkest
>of newsgroups.
>
>Corry
no it was right the way you had it, I screwed it up in order to have
something to do.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
the AMAZING thing is that every hour you spend drinking coffee
you make back in the hours that you do not need to sleep.
For coffee is truely the beverage of time control.
The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP