HP Inkjet printer conspiracy!
Correspondent:: "Modemac"
Date: 23 Feb 2005 09:48:53 -0800
--------
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=581&e=1&u=/nm/20050222/tc_nm/tech_hp_printers_dc
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Georgia woman has sued Hewlett-Packard Co.
(NYSE:HPQ - news), claiming the ink cartridges for their printers are
secretly programed to expire on a certain date, in some cases rendering
them useless before they are even installed in a printer.
[snip]
HP ink cartridges use a chip technology to sense when they are low on
ink and advise the user to make a change. But the suit claims those
chips also shut down the cartridges at a predetermined date regardless
of whether they are empty.
[remainder of article snipped]
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2005 13:49:59 -0500
--------
In article <1109180933.440048.82230@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
Modemac wrote:
>
> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=581&e=1&u=/nm/20050222/tc_nm/t
> ech_hp_printers_dc
>
> LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Georgia woman has sued Hewlett-Packard Co.
> (NYSE:HPQ - news), claiming the ink cartridges for their printers are
> secretly programed to expire on a certain date, in some cases rendering
> them useless before they are even installed in a printer.
>
> [snip]
>
> HP ink cartridges use a chip technology to sense when they are low on
> ink and advise the user to make a change. But the suit claims those
> chips also shut down the cartridges at a predetermined date regardless
> of whether they are empty.
>
> [remainder of article snipped]
>
If anybody ever wondered if those cheap knock-off inkjet printer ink
cartridges that you get from fly-by-night Internet companies for $5
each, rather than the official Epson and HP cartridges that you get at
the store for $29, work?
They work just fine.
My Epson printer always says, "You are using a NON-EPSONIAN INK
CARTRIDGE!! You ARE aware, we take it, that using this non-Epson
cartridge COULD and PROBABLY WILL utterly and permanently ruin and
waste your expensive printer FOREVER? Are you REALLY such a DUMBASS as
to RISK using this non-Epson, cheap, knock-off cartridge, you
CHEAPSKATE?" And I always push "OKAY" and then everything prints out
just great. Smells funny until it dries though.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: "Giles"
Date: 23 Feb 2005 11:29:24 -0800
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> In article <1109180933.440048.82230@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
> Modemac wrote:
>
> >
> >
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=581&e=1&u=/nm/20050222/tc_nm/t
> > ech_hp_printers_dc
> >
> > LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Georgia woman has sued Hewlett-Packard
Co.
> > (NYSE:HPQ - news), claiming the ink cartridges for their printers
are
> > secretly programed to expire on a certain date, in some cases
rendering
> > them useless before they are even installed in a printer.
> >
> > [snip]
> >
> > HP ink cartridges use a chip technology to sense when they are low
on
> > ink and advise the user to make a change. But the suit claims those
> > chips also shut down the cartridges at a predetermined date
regardless
> > of whether they are empty.
> >
My brother Miles used to work for a maker of industrial printers and
told me about this curious practice years ago.
> >
>
> If anybody ever wondered if those cheap knock-off inkjet printer ink
> cartridges that you get from fly-by-night Internet companies for $5
> each, rather than the official Epson and HP cartridges that you get
at
> the store for $29, work?
>
> They work just fine.
>
> My Epson printer always says, "You are using a NON-EPSONIAN INK
> CARTRIDGE!! You ARE aware, we take it, that using this non-Epson
> cartridge COULD and PROBABLY WILL utterly and permanently ruin and
> waste your expensive printer FOREVER? Are you REALLY such a DUMBASS
as
> to RISK using this non-Epson, cheap, knock-off cartridge, you
> CHEAPSKATE?" And I always push "OKAY" and then everything prints out
> just great. Smells funny until it dries though.
>
You're lucky. I had a $1900 printer self destruct on non-'official'
ink. Price to replace the print head? $2000! Yep. The print head cost
more to replace than the printer cost new. And they now sell a new
version of the printer for a grand.
I am cursed.
Correspondent:: "ouroboros rex"
Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2005 13:47:17 -0600
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote in message
news:230220051349595352%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com...
> In article <1109180933.440048.82230@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
> Modemac wrote:
>
>>
>> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=581&e=1&u=/nm/20050222/tc_nm/t
>> ech_hp_printers_dc
>>
>> LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Georgia woman has sued Hewlett-Packard Co.
>> (NYSE:HPQ - news), claiming the ink cartridges for their printers are
>> secretly programed to expire on a certain date, in some cases rendering
>> them useless before they are even installed in a printer.
>>
>> [snip]
>>
>> HP ink cartridges use a chip technology to sense when they are low on
>> ink and advise the user to make a change. But the suit claims those
>> chips also shut down the cartridges at a predetermined date regardless
>> of whether they are empty.
>>
>> [remainder of article snipped]
>>
>
> If anybody ever wondered if those cheap knock-off inkjet printer ink
> cartridges that you get from fly-by-night Internet companies for $5
> each, rather than the official Epson and HP cartridges that you get at
> the store for $29, work?
>
> They work just fine.
>
> My Epson printer always says, "You are using a NON-EPSONIAN INK
> CARTRIDGE!! You ARE aware, we take it, that using this non-Epson
> cartridge COULD and PROBABLY WILL utterly and permanently ruin and
> waste your expensive printer FOREVER? Are you REALLY such a DUMBASS as
> to RISK using this non-Epson, cheap, knock-off cartridge, you
> CHEAPSKATE?" And I always push "OKAY" and then everything prints out
> just great. Smells funny until it dries though.
That's just the dioxin.
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2005 13:33:24 -0700
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> Smells funny until it dries though.
That is because at HP, they only use the finest
synthetic, inorganic ink, full of the very best
additives, preservatives and high-quality American
made mutagenic agents produced at the HP high-
tech laboratories.
Whereas the evil, cheap, and probably oriental
generic ink comes from your brothers and sisters
the squid, who are viciously torn from their pods
and raised in inhumane, holocaust-like squid pens
while being fed ground up squid parts and injected
full of steroids and antibiotics and cheap, knock-
off 3rd and 4th world toxic waste, as the little
baby squids give off pitiful squiddy sounds to
their mamas as the fat, cigar-smoking stinky man
stomps on them in his bare feet to squish out their
precious ink, 50,000 of them needed just to fill a
single ink cartridge, while bellowing, "Bwahahahaha-
hahahahahahaha!"
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2005 20:21:05 -0500
--------
In article <421CE894.1654@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v7.0
wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
> > Smells funny until it dries though.
>
> That is because at HP, they only use the finest
> synthetic, inorganic ink, full of the very best
> additives, preservatives and high-quality American
> made mutagenic agents produced at the HP high-
> tech laboratories.
>
> Whereas the evil, cheap, and probably oriental
> generic ink comes from your brothers and sisters
> the squid, who are viciously torn from their pods
> and raised in inhumane, holocaust-like squid pens
> while being fed ground up squid parts and injected
> full of steroids and antibiotics and cheap, knock-
> off 3rd and 4th world toxic waste, as the little
> baby squids give off pitiful squiddy sounds to
> their mamas as the fat, cigar-smoking stinky man
> stomps on them in his bare feet to squish out their
> precious ink, 50,000 of them needed just to fill a
> single ink cartridge, while bellowing, "Bwahahahaha-
> hahahahahahaha!"
There went my boner. Thanks a LOT.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 17:45:37 GMT
--------
In article <230220052021057388%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>,
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> There went my boner. Thanks a LOT.
Well, ya darned ingrate, you'd think someone who relieved your priapism
for a while deserved SINCERE thanks. Still, I understand how much it
will hurt when it passes and you're all woody again. As one with the
same affliction, I feel yore pain, OW OW OW GODDAMNIT BOUNCY BOUNCY OW
OW!!!
--
HellPope Huey
Composer, Decomposer,
Poseur, EpiscoPopopalian
"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it
because the only people who really know where it is
are the ones who have gone over."
- Hunter S. Thompson
"I dreamed I went to Heaven,
but they realized it wasn't my time,
so they sent me back to a brewery."
- "Family Guy"
Correspondent:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 24 Feb 2005 08:09:14 -0800
--------
>>Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Smells funny until it dries though.
That is because at HP, they only use the finest
synthetic, inorganic ink, full of the very best
additives, preservatives and high-quality American
made mutagenic agents produced at the HP high-
tech laboratories.
Whereas the evil, cheap, and probably oriental
generic ink comes from your brothers and sisters
the squid, who are viciously torn from their pods
and raised in inhumane, holocaust-like squid pens
while being fed ground up squid parts and injected
full of steroids and antibiotics and cheap, knock-
off 3rd and 4th world toxic waste, as the little
baby squids give off pitiful squiddy sounds to
their mamas as the fat, cigar-smoking stinky man
stomps on them in his bare feet to squish out their
precious ink, 50,000 of them needed just to fill a
single ink cartridge, while bellowing, "Bwahahahaha-
hahahahahahaha!" <<
No, HP Ink is made from the Vaginal secretions of their former CEO
Carla Whats-her-name after she was gang-banged by 300 Mexican Filed
workers.
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2005 20:58:07 -0800
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> Smells funny until it dries though.
Story of my life.
Correspondent:: nikolai kingsley
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 19:03:31 +1100
--------
> My Epson printer always says, "You are using a NON-EPSONIAN INK
> CARTRIDGE!! You ARE aware, we take it, that using this non-Epson
> cartridge COULD and PROBABLY WILL utterly and permanently ruin and
> waste your expensive printer FOREVER? Are you REALLY such a DUMBASS as
> to RISK using this non-Epson, cheap, knock-off cartridge, you
> CHEAPSKATE?" And I always push "OKAY" and then everything prints out
> just great. Smells funny until it dries though.
i started collecting the little chips attached to the Epson cartridges.
they're only held on with a dab of glue.
unfortunately, i have a mixture of genuine Authorised Epson chips and
cheap Maylaysian Dobbstown assembled-by-chimp variety. the only way to
tell one from the other would be to attach them to a cartridge and try
them out.
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 09:37:27 -0500
--------
In article <385fs6F5kiadqU2@individual.net>, nikolai kingsley
wrote:
> > My Epson printer always says, "You are using a NON-EPSONIAN INK
> > CARTRIDGE!! You ARE aware, we take it, that using this non-Epson
> > cartridge COULD and PROBABLY WILL utterly and permanently ruin and
> > waste your expensive printer FOREVER? Are you REALLY such a DUMBASS as
> > to RISK using this non-Epson, cheap, knock-off cartridge, you
> > CHEAPSKATE?" And I always push "OKAY" and then everything prints out
> > just great. Smells funny until it dries though.
>
>
> i started collecting the little chips attached to the Epson cartridges.
> they're only held on with a dab of glue.
>
Why, with one of those chips, good disguises and a little luck, we
could get through security and into the Epson factory to rescue Sandra!
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: "«BONEHEAD>>"
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 16:14:57 GMT
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote in message
news:240220050937279041%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com...
> In article <385fs6F5kiadqU2@individual.net>, nikolai kingsley
> wrote:
>
> > > My Epson printer always says, "You are using a NON-EPSONIAN INK
> > > CARTRIDGE!! You ARE aware, we take it, that using this non-Epson
> > > cartridge COULD and PROBABLY WILL utterly and permanently ruin and
> > > waste your expensive printer FOREVER? Are you REALLY such a DUMBASS as
> > > to RISK using this non-Epson, cheap, knock-off cartridge, you
> > > CHEAPSKATE?" And I always push "OKAY" and then everything prints out
> > > just great. Smells funny until it dries though.
> >
> >
> > i started collecting the little chips attached to the Epson cartridges.
> > they're only held on with a dab of glue.
> >
>
> Why, with one of those chips, good disguises and a little luck, we
> could get through security and into the Epson factory to rescue Sandra!
>
OH BOY.. I sense a quest.....hehehehe...
send in the chimps...
--
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein
Correspondent:: Ued
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 12:40:03 -0500
--------
In article <1109180933.440048.82230@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
modemac@modemac.com says...
> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=581&e=1&u=/nm/20050222/tc_nm/tech_hp_printers_dc
>
> LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Georgia woman has sued Hewlett-Packard Co.
> (NYSE:HPQ - news), claiming the ink cartridges for their printers are
> secretly programed to expire on a certain date, in some cases rendering
> them useless before they are even installed in a printer.
>
> [snip]
>
> HP ink cartridges use a chip technology to sense when they are low on
> ink and advise the user to make a change. But the suit claims those
> chips also shut down the cartridges at a predetermined date regardless
> of whether they are empty.
>
> [remainder of article snipped]
Well, they're smarter than Lexmark, unless Lexmark has smartened up in
the last couple years. My Lexmark printer driver used to guess how much
ink was left in the cartridge, based on when you installed the cartridge
and how much you printed. So when the driver assumed you were out of
ink and refused to let you print with the cartridge any more, all you
had to do was pull out the cartridge and then shove it right back in
again -- and then the driver assumed you had a nice, new, full
cartridge.