Joak!
Correspondent:: König Prüße, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 04:13:37 GMT
--------
George Bush has a heart attack and dies.
He goes to hell where the devil is
waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil.
"You're on my list but I have no room for you.
But you definitely have to stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I've got three people here who weren't quite
as bad as you. I'll let one of them go but
you have to take their place. I'll even let
YOU decide who leaves".
George thought that sounded pretty good
so he agreed. The devil opened the
first room. In it was Richard Nixon and
a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty handed over and
over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a
good swimmer and I don't think I could do that
all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer
and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing
that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if
all I could do was break rocks all day!"
commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw
Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked
over his head and his legs staked in
spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica
Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a
while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free
to go!"
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 22:00:46 -0700
--------
König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
>
> George Bush has a heart attack and dies...
> "...Monica, you're free to go!"
Well, if you're gonna do one from about 10 years
ago, I'm gonna do one from about 60 years ago.
Old Frank dies and goes to Hell. Soon, he's trying
to take over the place, to steal it from the Devil.
But the Devil is a master at treachery. But so is
Old Frank. But the Devil's been at it a lot longer.
So he tricks Old Frank into a speechifying contest,
winner take Hell.
Old Frank agrees, so the Devil pushes him through a
door into the auditorium where "his audience awaits".
But instead of a giant hall filled with adoring
Democrats he's paid off with public money, he finds
himself in a small room with only Eleanor. Then the
door shuts behind him and locks, for all eternity, as
he finds himself trapped in that worst of all Hells.
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: König Prüße, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 10:13:22 GMT
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
>>
>> George Bush has a heart attack and dies...
>> "...Monica, you're free to go!"
>
>Well, if you're gonna do one from about 10 years
>ago, I'm gonna do one from about 60 years ago.
>
>Old Frank dies and goes to Hell. Soon, he's trying
>to take over the place, to steal it from the Devil.
>But the Devil is a master at treachery. But so is
>Old Frank. But the Devil's been at it a lot longer.
>So he tricks Old Frank into a speechifying contest,
>winner take Hell.
>
>Old Frank agrees, so the Devil pushes him through a
>door into the auditorium where "his audience awaits".
>But instead of a giant hall filled with adoring
>Democrats he's paid off with public money, he finds
>himself in a small room with only Eleanor. Then the
>door shuts behind him and locks, for all eternity, as
>he finds himself trapped in that worst of all Hells.
>
>
>--
But it's Version 10.0!
They assured me that it was updated on a regular basis!
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 06:59:59 -0700
--------
König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
>
> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>
> >König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
> >>
> >> George Bush has a heart attack and dies...
> >> "...Monica, you're free to go!"
> >
> >Well, if you're gonna do one from about 10 years
> >ago, I'm gonna do one from about 60 years ago.
> >
> >Old Frank dies and goes to Hell. Soon, he's trying
> >to take over the place, to steal it from the Devil.
> >But the Devil is a master at treachery. But so is
> >Old Frank. But the Devil's been at it a lot longer.
> >So he tricks Old Frank into a speechifying contest,
> >winner take Hell.
> >
> >Old Frank agrees, so the Devil pushes him through a
> >door into the auditorium where "his audience awaits".
> >But instead of a giant hall filled with adoring
> >Democrats he's paid off with public money, he finds
> >himself in a small room with only Eleanor. Then the
> >door shuts behind him and locks, for all eternity, as
> >he finds himself trapped in that worst of all Hells.
> >
>
> But it's Version 10.0!
> They assured me that it was updated on a regular basis!
They only did free updates until Symantec bought them.
Now it's for paid subscribers only.
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: "«BONEHEAD>>"
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 14:56:17 GMT
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message
news:421F2F5F.CE5@succeeds.com...
> König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
> >
> > "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> >
> > >König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
> > >>
> > >> George Bush has a heart attack and dies...
> > >> "...Monica, you're free to go!"
> > >
> > >Well, if you're gonna do one from about 10 years
> > >ago, I'm gonna do one from about 60 years ago.
> > >
> > >Old Frank dies and goes to Hell. Soon, he's trying
> > >to take over the place, to steal it from the Devil.
> > >But the Devil is a master at treachery. But so is
> > >Old Frank. But the Devil's been at it a lot longer.
> > >So he tricks Old Frank into a speechifying contest,
> > >winner take Hell.
> > >
> > >Old Frank agrees, so the Devil pushes him through a
> > >door into the auditorium where "his audience awaits".
> > >But instead of a giant hall filled with adoring
> > >Democrats he's paid off with public money, he finds
> > >himself in a small room with only Eleanor. Then the
> > >door shuts behind him and locks, for all eternity, as
> > >he finds himself trapped in that worst of all Hells.
> > >
> >
> > But it's Version 10.0!
> > They assured me that it was updated on a regular basis!
>
>
> They only did free updates until Symantec bought them.
> Now it's for paid subscribers only.
>
Don't worry it will be cracked in a week...
--
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein
Correspondent:: König Prüße, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 15:18:42 GMT
--------
"«BONEHEAD>>"
>
>"nu-monet v7.0" wrote in message
>news:421F2F5F.CE5@succeeds.com...
>> König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
>> >
>> > "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>> >
>> > >König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
>> > >>
>> > >> George Bush has a heart attack and dies...
>> > >> "...Monica, you're free to go!"
>> > >
>> > >Well, if you're gonna do one from about 10 years
>> > >ago, I'm gonna do one from about 60 years ago.
>> > >
>> > >Old Frank dies and goes to Hell. Soon, he's trying
>> > >to take over the place, to steal it from the Devil.
>> > >But the Devil is a master at treachery. But so is
>> > >Old Frank. But the Devil's been at it a lot longer.
>> > >So he tricks Old Frank into a speechifying contest,
>> > >winner take Hell.
>> > >
>> > >Old Frank agrees, so the Devil pushes him through a
>> > >door into the auditorium where "his audience awaits".
>> > >But instead of a giant hall filled with adoring
>> > >Democrats he's paid off with public money, he finds
>> > >himself in a small room with only Eleanor. Then the
>> > >door shuts behind him and locks, for all eternity, as
>> > >he finds himself trapped in that worst of all Hells.
>> > >
>> >
>> > But it's Version 10.0!
>> > They assured me that it was updated on a regular basis!
>>
>>
>> They only did free updates until Symantec bought them.
>> Now it's for paid subscribers only.
>>
>Don't worry it will be cracked in a week...
>
That _was_ a warez joak! (don't tell anybody!)
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 10:04:42 -0700
--------
König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
>
> "«BONEHEAD>>"
>
> >> > But it's Version 10.0!
> >> > They assured me that it was updated on a regular basis!
> >>
> >>
> >> They only did free updates until Symantec bought them.
> >> Now it's for paid subscribers only.
> >>
> >Don't worry it will be cracked in a week...
> >
>
> That _was_ a warez joak! (don't tell anybody!)
Warez is a myth.
And Keanu is CGI fagbait.
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: König Prüße, GfbAEV
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 17:11:58 GMT
--------
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
>König, Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
>>
>> "«BONEHEAD>>"
>>
>> >> > But it's Version 10.0!
>> >> > They assured me that it was updated on a regular basis!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> They only did free updates until Symantec bought them.
>> >> Now it's for paid subscribers only.
>> >>
>> >Don't worry it will be cracked in a week...
>> >
>>
>> That _was_ a warez joak! (don't tell anybody!)
>
>
>Warez is a myth.
>
>And Keanu is CGI fagbait.
>
>
Keanu is Mexican SGI fagbait!
Most of them there hets is breeders, ya know!
Correspondent:: "splendid_blond_beast"
Date: 25 Feb 2005 19:16:44 -0800
--------
George Bush dies and goes to hell. Given his good record @ promoting
all that terrible treachery
that 'ol Beelzebub loves so much, George is given his choice of hells.
His first choice is a room w/ a nailbed for a floor and souls rolling
all over it, screaming in agony. "Well", chuckled GW, I don't think
that one's for me." as he winked @ his ol friend and confidante Satan.
"Well," said El Lucifero," how 'bout a room full of people up to their
necks in shit drinking gourmet coffee?" as he opened a door revealing
an endless cavern full of unrepentant Starbucks customers up to their
necks in shit, drinking the flavor of the day. Again GW chuckles and
chides his old friend to "give me a REAL choice." So, the Devil sighs
and says,"OK, I'm busted. I've been holding out on you. How about a
giant room full of nothing but naked women?" as he opened a door just
wide enough for GW to see endless acres of bare feminine flesh. "Homie,
doncha know me!" GW yells as he runs into the cavernous room of
femflesh, the door of eternity slamming loudly behind him.
Several millenia later, the Devil hears a loud, persistent banging from
the inside of the door to GW's private hell. After a few centuries, the
devil tires of the noise and opens the door. There stands GW, looking
gaunt and confused. "Satan, ol buddy, I've carefully inspected, musta
been a billion women in this place, top to bottom, front and back and
NOT ONE OF THEM HAS A SINGLE ORIFICE IN HER BODY! NO MOUTH, NO ASSHOLE,
NO PUSSY, NOT EVEN CLEAVAGE. NOTHING! What gives???"
Satan smiles and replies"That's hell, ain't it, boy? That's hell, ain't
it!?"
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod"
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 13:46:52 GMT
--------
"splendid_blond_beast" wrote in message
news:1109387804.550797.50190@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> George Bush dies and goes to hell. Given his good record @ promoting
> all that terrible treachery
...snip...
> Several millenia later, the Devil hears a loud, persistent banging
from
> the inside of the door to GW's private hell. After a few centuries,
the
> devil tires of the noise and opens the door. There stands GW, looking
> gaunt and confused. "Satan, ol buddy, I've carefully inspected, musta
> been a billion women in this place, top to bottom, front and back and
> NOT ONE OF THEM HAS A SINGLE ORIFICE IN HER BODY! NO MOUTH, NO
ASSHOLE,
> NO PUSSY, NOT EVEN CLEAVAGE. NOTHING! What gives???"
> Satan smiles and replies"That's hell, ain't it, boy? That's hell,
ain't
> it!?"
>
A billion women, and none with a mouth to speak...? Hell?
--
ArWeConfused