MARK OF THE BOBBIE (was Oh, the good old days.)
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 10:20:54 -0800
--------
The Mark of the Bobbie
Originally posted 1997, with emendations to reflect current trends. The
masculine pronoun is retained because the occurrence of the female
Bobbie is less frequent than once in one thousand instances. This says
much for female intelligence.
THE MARK OF THE BOBBIE
The Bobbie is one who believes himself to be a SubGenius because he is a
failure at being Normal.
The Bobbie attaches himself to the Church of the SubGenius because he
believes its function is parody, and making fun of things is one of his
major skills.
The Bobbie brags of being a paid member of the Church, or brags more
vociferously of NOT being a paid member of the Church.
The Bobbie takes unto himself of the doctrines of the Church but a few
of the most obvious items of terminology, which he uses incessantly and
incorrectly.
The Bobbie most frequently avails himself of the terms “slack” and
“pink,” which he uses to explicate his fuzzy notions of “good” and “bad.”
Anything the Bobbie likes, or thinks is good, may have the word “slack”
attached to it in some way. If he sees a movie that he enjoys, or eats
a snack food that he likes, or hears a rock band that he thinks is good,
or watches a cartoon show that makes fun of the things he makes fun of,
he says it “has slack,” is “slackful,” “gives” him “slack,” and so on.
Likewise anything he does not like is labeled in the opposite manner, as
“slackless,” that it “steals” or “takes away” his “slack.”
Anything the Bobbie doesn't like, or thinks is bad, may have the word
“pink” attached to it in some way. Any person or idea or object the
Bobbie doesn’t like, is “pink” or “reeks of pinkness.”
The Bobbie uses the term “pink” the way other stupid people use such
words as “nigger” - to label a type of person whom they think is bad or
wrong. Strangely, the Bobbie frequently uses the term “pink” to label
the sort of person who uses such terms as “nigger” to label people, thus
displaying exactly the same behavior that he is decrying at that moment.
The Bobbie thus shows that he is Irony Impaired and Witless.
The Bobbie's use of “slack” and “pink” is a reflection of his
pre-existing notions, his personal tastes, his likes and dislikes, and
has nothing to do with the actual use of the terms in the Church of the
SubGenius. When presented with this fact, the Bobbie will tell you that
you do not understand the meaning of the terms in question, and he does.
Bobbies with differing tastes and viewpoints will use “slack” and “pink”
in exactly opposite ways. A Leftist Eco-Bobbie will call anyone who
drives an SUV a “slackless pink.” A Bourgeois NeoCon Bobbie will call
anyone who “cares about the environment” a “slackless pink.”
The Bobbie is certain that he is an expert on these things, even though
he may have discovered the Church of the SubGenius only the day before.
He believes he is an expert on applying church “lingo” to the world
because he has maintained his deeply held likes and dislikes for years
and finds that he can fit the terminology into his pre-existing tastes
in a way which makes him feel like he is at last truly expressing
himself to people who will surely understand and accept him. Imagine
his surprise.
Even if Rev. Ivan Stang himself, High Epopt and Co-Founder of the Church
of the SubGenius, tells the Bobbie that he, the Bobbie, has got it all
wrong, is using the terms incorrectly and ignorantly, and doesn’t know
what he, the Bobbie, or he, Rev. Ivan Stang, is talking about, the
Bobbie will insist that he himself is right and that Rev. Ivan Stang is
a “slackless pink” who doesn’t understand the basic concepts of his own church.
The saving grace of the Bobbie is that, like all persons of shallow
understanding, he tires quickly. The Bobbie will soon find that,
unappreciated by those he wished to be his peers, he has “grown beyond”
the Church of the SubGenius. He will soon move onto another subcultural
niche which permits him to express his prejudices and hatreds against
persons who hold opinions differing from his. He will frequently assert
that he was once “into Bob,” but that he found to his sorrow that the
SubGenii were all “pink” and had no “slack.”
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 18:31:16 GMT
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nenslo wrote:
>The Mark of the Bobbie
>
>Originally posted 1997, with emendations to reflect current trends. The
>masculine pronoun is retained because the occurrence of the female
>Bobbie is less frequent than once in one thousand instances. This says
>much for female intelligence.
>
>
>THE MARK OF THE BOBBIE
>
>The Bobbie is one who believes himself to be a SubGenius because he is a
>failure at being Normal.
>
>The Bobbie attaches himself to the Church of the SubGenius because he
>believes its function is parody, and making fun of things is one of his
>major skills.
>
>The Bobbie brags of being a paid member of the Church, or brags more
>vociferously of NOT being a paid member of the Church.
>
>The Bobbie takes unto himself of the doctrines of the Church but a few
>of the most obvious items of terminology, which he uses incessantly and
>incorrectly.
>
>The Bobbie most frequently avails himself of the terms “slack” and
>“pink,” which he uses to explicate his fuzzy notions of “good” and “bad.”
>
>Anything the Bobbie likes, or thinks is good, may have the word “slack”
>attached to it in some way. If he sees a movie that he enjoys, or eats
>a snack food that he likes, or hears a rock band that he thinks is good,
> or watches a cartoon show that makes fun of the things he makes fun of,
>he says it “has slack,” is “slackful,” “gives” him “slack,” and so on.
>Likewise anything he does not like is labeled in the opposite manner, as
>“slackless,” that it “steals” or “takes away” his “slack.”
>
>Anything the Bobbie doesn't like, or thinks is bad, may have the word
>“pink” attached to it in some way. Any person or idea or object the
>Bobbie doesn’t like, is “pink” or “reeks of pinkness.”
>
>The Bobbie uses the term “pink” the way other stupid people use such
>words as “nigger” - to label a type of person whom they think is bad or
>wrong. Strangely, the Bobbie frequently uses the term “pink” to label
>the sort of person who uses such terms as “nigger” to label people, thus
>displaying exactly the same behavior that he is decrying at that moment.
> The Bobbie thus shows that he is Irony Impaired and Witless.
>
>The Bobbie's use of “slack” and “pink” is a reflection of his
>pre-existing notions, his personal tastes, his likes and dislikes, and
>has nothing to do with the actual use of the terms in the Church of the
>SubGenius. When presented with this fact, the Bobbie will tell you that
>you do not understand the meaning of the terms in question, and he does.
>
>Bobbies with differing tastes and viewpoints will use “slack” and “pink”
>in exactly opposite ways. A Leftist Eco-Bobbie will call anyone who
>drives an SUV a “slackless pink.” A Bourgeois NeoCon Bobbie will call
>anyone who “cares about the environment” a “slackless pink.”
>
>The Bobbie is certain that he is an expert on these things, even though
>he may have discovered the Church of the SubGenius only the day before.
>He believes he is an expert on applying church “lingo” to the world
>because he has maintained his deeply held likes and dislikes for years
>and finds that he can fit the terminology into his pre-existing tastes
>in a way which makes him feel like he is at last truly expressing
>himself to people who will surely understand and accept him. Imagine
>his surprise.
>
>Even if Rev. Ivan Stang himself, High Epopt and Co-Founder of the Church
>of the SubGenius, tells the Bobbie that he, the Bobbie, has got it all
>wrong, is using the terms incorrectly and ignorantly, and doesn’t know
>what he, the Bobbie, or he, Rev. Ivan Stang, is talking about, the
>Bobbie will insist that he himself is right and that Rev. Ivan Stang is
>a “slackless pink” who doesn’t understand the basic concepts of his own church.
>
>The saving grace of the Bobbie is that, like all persons of shallow
>understanding, he tires quickly. The Bobbie will soon find that,
>unappreciated by those he wished to be his peers, he has “grown beyond”
>the Church of the SubGenius. He will soon move onto another subcultural
>niche which permits him to express his prejudices and hatreds against
>persons who hold opinions differing from his. He will frequently assert
>that he was once “into Bob,” but that he found to his sorrow that the
>SubGenii were all “pink” and had no “slack.”
So, slack is like sumo--
you run into someone with more slack,
you're gonna find yourself on your ass
outside the circle, huh?
In Betty Crocker's Kitchen without a pie pan?
I keep thinking of Jerry Falwell when Jesus didn't
show up in 2000, he's backpedaling faster than a
ho' on a 10-speed bicycle with the heat rash.
Correspondent:: "Quirk"
Date: 17 Feb 2005 12:02:40 -0800
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nenslo wrote:
> The Bobbie uses the term "pink" the way other stupid people use
such
> words as "nigger" - to label a type of person whom they think is
bad or
> wrong. Strangely, the Bobbie frequently uses the term "pink" to
label
> the sort of person who uses such terms as "nigger" to label
people
These Bobbies sound pretty cool, I guess all the bigots drove them away
huh?
"And if you wear white socks OUTSIDE of gymn class, THEN you're Pink
TOO"
-- Rev. Ivan Stang.
More from the Reverand Stang:
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
The term "Pinkness" implies more a lack of flexibility, and a kind of
mental and, oh, I guess you could say "spiritual" cowardice or
laziness
or disability, depending, than anything especially cultural. It's
easier for us Westerners to imagine Western style "Pinks" than it is
for us to apply to term to people of other weird human cultures,
because we don't really understand SUBGENII of NEXT DOOR much less
other cultures, so it's hard to imagine what, say, a "PINK" Bushman
would be like. But I am sure that Bushmen suffer Pinkness in much the
same proportion as everybody else. It fucks up Slack.
For instance, a queer SubGenius once told me, "I hate most queers,
because most queers are like most non-queers -- PINK!"
Pinkness has nothing to do with race, creed, or religion, nor with
"I.Q.," but with SLACK or the lack thereof.
I personally would not want to have to walk along a line of people
picking out who I thought was "Pink," and who wasn't.
I likewise do not like to go judging who is a "Bobbie" and who isn't.
I do however reserve the right to ignore or avoid people I plain don't
trust.
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 12:38:51 -0800
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Quirk wrote:
>
>
> Pinkness has nothing to do with race, creed, or religion, nor with
> "I.Q.," but with SLACK or the lack thereof.
Pinkness has absolutely nothing to do with slack. The Pinkest person on
earth may have more slack than the most SubGeniusy SubGenius.
Correspondent:: "Quirk"
Date: 18 Feb 2005 08:02:24 -0800
--------
nenslo wrote:
> Quirk wrote:
> > Pinkness has nothing to do with race, creed, or religion, nor with
> > "I.Q.," but with SLACK or the lack thereof.
> Pinkness has absolutely nothing to do with slack. The Pinkest person
on
> earth may have more slack than the most SubGeniusy SubGenius.
DISCLAIMER
I did not write the quoted statement, it was by Rev. Ivan Stang
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 14:29:20 -0800
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Quirk wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
>
> > Quirk wrote:
>
> > > Pinkness has nothing to do with race, creed, or religion, nor with
> > > "I.Q.," but with SLACK or the lack thereof.
>
> > Pinkness has absolutely nothing to do with slack. The Pinkest person
> on
> > earth may have more slack than the most SubGeniusy SubGenius.
>
> DISCLAIMER
>
> I did not write the quoted statement, it was by Rev. Ivan Stang
You lying sack of shit. Back you into a corner and you try to weasel
out blaming somebody else.
Correspondent:: "Quirk"
Date: 18 Feb 2005 15:09:14 -0800
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nenslo wrote:
> You lying sack of shit. Back you into a corner and you try to weasel
> out blaming somebody else.
I'm sorry you have trouble keeping attributions straight, but if you
have doctrinal differences with Stang I suggest you talk to him about
it.
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 15:32:46 -0800
--------
Quirk wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
>
> > You lying sack of shit. Back you into a corner and you try to weasel
> > out blaming somebody else.
>
> I'm sorry you have trouble keeping attributions straight, but if you
> have doctrinal differences with Stang I suggest you talk to him about
> it.
I'm sorry you are an insane liar who is obsessed with me in a pathetic
hopeless unrequited love affair.
Correspondent:: "Quirk"
Date: 18 Feb 2005 15:32:38 -0800
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nenslo wrote:
> I'm sorry you are an insane liar who is obsessed with me in a
pathetic
> hopeless unrequited love affair.
Its nice that you have your delusions to comfort you.
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 22:21:47 -0800
--------
Quirk wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
>
> > I'm sorry you are an insane liar who is obsessed with me in a
> pathetic
> > hopeless unrequited love affair.
>
> Its nice that you have your delusions to comfort you.
It's nice that you kiss my fucking ass.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2005 17:01:16 GMT
--------
In article <4216DAFB.BFEA9142@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> Quirk wrote:
> > nenslo wrote:
> >
> > > I'm sorry you are an insane liar who is obsessed with me in a
> > pathetic hopeless unrequited love affair.
> >
> > Its nice that you have your delusions to comfort you.
>
> It's nice that you kiss my fucking ass.
Shows at 10, 2, 6 and 8 daily. Get your commemorative "Connie" lipstick
at the gate. Pucker up, you heroes, you golden few, you stout sons of
Maine. *MMMMMMWAH!*
--
HellPope Huey
Why the f*** am I HERE?
Oh yeah, for the buffet
"Evil beware: we have waffles."
- 'Teen Titans"
"Do not remove a fly
from your friend's forehead
with a hatchet."
- Chinese Proverb
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2005 04:47:45 GMT
--------
In article <42167B1C.1E2D4CC@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> I'm sorry you are an insane liar who is obsessed with me in a pathetic
> hopeless unrequited love affair.
Its YOUR fault for mincing about clad only in those leather chaps and
that tricornered hat with the blinking LEDS that spell out "TROUBLE."
You're driving him buggo.
--
HellPope Huey
I'm replacing Conan O'Brien in November.
Tune in, won't you?
Just as every conviction begins as a whim
so does every emancipator
serve his apprenticeship as a crank.
~Heywood Broun
"I'm going to go into rap music;
I'm going to call myself 'Muff Daddy.'"
- Eric Idle
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2005 04:45:25 GMT
--------
In article <42166C40.A0FBFC80@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> You lying sack of shit. Back you into a corner and you try to weasel
> out blaming somebody else.
Hey, there's no need to cuss the boy for having learned his SubG
lessons so well. If we banned every sack of shit, frigging liar and
prumpy hypocrite, the group would go silent except for when Friday Jones
showed up 6 months later and said "Where did everybody go?"
Fuck you, Nenslo, you fucking fuck. If I had a nickel for every time I
said "fuck," I'd never have to say it again outside a sexual environment
and oddly enough, that's the ONE place the word never seems to come into
play, 'cause I am a manly ADULT... sort of.
--
HellPope Huey
I'm replacing Conan O'Brien in November.
Tune in, won't you?
Just as every conviction begins as a whim
so does every emancipator
serve his apprenticeship as a crank.
~Heywood Broun
"I'm going to go into rap music;
I'm going to call myself 'Muff Daddy.'"
- Eric Idle
Correspondent:: "Quirk"
Date: 18 Feb 2005 03:22:58 -0800
--------
The Mark of the Snot
The Original Version Found.
The Snot uses the term "Bobbie" the way other stupid people use such
words as "Pink" - to label a type of person whom they think is bad or
wrong. Strangely, the Snot frequently uses the term "Bobbie" to label
the sort of person who uses such terms as "Pink" to label people, thus
displaying exactly the same behavior that he is decrying at that
moment.
The Snot thus shows that he is Irony Impaired and Witless.
Long live circular reasoning.
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 14:36:39 -0800
--------
Quirk wrote:
>
> The Mark of the Snot
>
> The Original Version Found.
>
> The Snot uses the term "Bobbie" the way other stupid people use such
> words as "Pink" - to label a type of person whom they think is bad or
> wrong. Strangely, the Snot frequently uses the term "Bobbie" to label
> the sort of person who uses such terms as "Pink" to label people, thus
> displaying exactly the same behavior that he is decrying at that
> moment.
> The Snot thus shows that he is Irony Impaired and Witless.
Looks like I touched a nerve.
>
> Long live circular reasoning.
Nobody labeled anyone anything in the Mark of the Bobbie essay, as every
OTHER person reading it could clearly see. People who aren't total
fuckfaced jackass crapsacks can very easily determine that it only lists
a set of behaviors. It never points out any person or group of persons
and calls them anything. I can't imagine why you missed that. OH YES I
CAN. Because you saw that everything listed was an habitual action of
yours and you realized that the shoe fits exactly. And now you are
waving it around in everybody's face, saying "Look what that bad old
Nenslo did to me!" Oh boo hoo. You poor guy. Not balls enough to
change your behavior so blame everyone else for the fact that you are a
dumbass loser fuckwad jackass piece of monkey crap. Go goosestep your
Hitler Heiling swastika worshipping jew murdering Nazi bullshit
somewhere else you lying psychotic Mussolini wannabe. Long live you
kissing my fucking ass.
Correspondent:: "Quirk"
Date: 18 Feb 2005 15:25:20 -0800
--------
nenslo wrote:
> Looks like I touched a nerve.
Ok, if you want to believe so.
> > Long live circular reasoning.
>
> Nobody labeled anyone anything in the Mark of the Bobbie essay, as
every
> OTHER person reading it could clearly see.
Except, of course, for the label "Bobbie."
> Because you saw that everything listed was an habitual action of
> yours and you realized that the shoe fits exactly.
Thank you for demonstrating your Irony Impairity and Witlessness
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 22:24:30 -0800
--------
Quirk wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
>
> > Looks like I touched a nerve.
>
> Ok, if you want to believe so.
>
> > > Long live circular reasoning.
> >
> > Nobody labeled anyone anything in the Mark of the Bobbie essay, as
> every
> > OTHER person reading it could clearly see.
>
> Except, of course, for the label "Bobbie."
And who exactly was it labeling? Come on, stupid guy, answer that
simple question. Name names.
>
> > Because you saw that everything listed was an habitual action of
> > yours and you realized that the shoe fits exactly.
>
> Thank you for demonstrating your Irony Impairity and Witlessness
Thank you for demonstrating that you suck and are an idiot. When the
peabrained jackass can only quote me back at myself that means his tiny
fuel tank is empty and he has nothing left but what I give him. Go
ahead, keep worshipping me.
Correspondent:: "Quirk"
Date: 21 Feb 2005 04:37:48 -0800
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stupid guy idiot