PLEASE HELP ME FINISH THIS NEW JOKE?????
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Wed, 02 Feb 2005 22:23:50 -0800

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Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?

Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:

A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam

B. Send an email to Ask This Old House

C. Other


THANK YOU?


Correspondent:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 3 Feb 2005 00:33:07 -0800

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C. Other.



Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Thu, 03 Feb 2005 03:55:25 -0600

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On Wed, 02 Feb 2005 22:23:50 -0800, nenslo wrote:

>Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?
>
>Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
>saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
>breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
>there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
>with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:
>
>A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam
>
>B. Send an email to Ask This Old House
>
>C. Other
>
>
>THANK YOU?

replaces the batteries and continues jilling off?

You're welcome?


Correspondent:: "Philo Drummond"
Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2005 04:20:43 GMT

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D. Like any good conservative she calmly replaces the defective tool and
finishes the job.


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Thu, 03 Feb 2005 09:59:24 GMT

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nenslo wrote:
>Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?
>
>Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
>saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
>breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
>there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
>with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:
>
>A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam
>
>B. Send an email to Ask This Old House
>
>C. Other
>
>
>THANK YOU?

She sends a photo of the situation and a description of the problem
to Bob Villa. First, he jerks-off on the photo, then writes a letter back
saying that she should used a diamond-dust saw blade to cut stone,
ya hardhearted bitch!




Correspondent:: "Linus Minimax"
Date: 3 Feb 2005 02:48:13 -0800

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D. She tries to count, by feeling alone, exactly how many teeth of the
saw are embedded in her bones.



Correspondent:: "Eric"
Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2005 00:42:45 +1300

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D: she wakes up and find it's all been a horrible nightmare.







"nenslo" wrote in message
news:4201C377.47BDEF15@yahoox.com...
Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?

Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:

A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam

B. Send an email to Ask This Old House

C. Other


THANK YOU?





Correspondent:: "Arty"
Date: Thu, 3 Feb 2005 15:36:42 +0000 (UTC)

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> "nenslo" wrote in message
> news:4201C377.47BDEF15@yahoox.com...
> Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?
>
> Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
> saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
> breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
> there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
> with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:
>
> A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam
>
> B. Send an email to Ask This Old House
>
> C. Other
>
>
> THANK YOU?



"Eric" wrote in message
news:42020e39$1@clear.net.nz...
> D: she wakes up and find it's all been a horrible nightmare.



Correction - we wake up and find it's not been a nightmare.

Arty




Correspondent:: "Eric"
Date: Fri, 4 Feb 2005 05:57:16 +1300

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That goes even better, THANKS







"Arty" wrote in message
news:cttgea$g9r$1@titan.btinternet.com...

> "nenslo" wrote in message
> news:4201C377.47BDEF15@yahoox.com...
> Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?
>
> Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
> saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
> breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
> there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
> with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:
>
> A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam
>
> B. Send an email to Ask This Old House
>
> C. Other
>
>
> THANK YOU?



"Eric" wrote in message
news:42020e39$1@clear.net.nz...
> D: she wakes up and find it's all been a horrible nightmare.



Correction - we wake up and find it's not been a nightmare.

Arty





Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 03 Feb 2005 10:29:21 -0500

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In article <4201C377.47BDEF15@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?
>
> Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
> saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
> breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
> there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
> with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:
>
> A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam
>
> B. Send an email to Ask This Old House
>
> C. Other
>
>
> THANK YOU?

This is Pope Sternodox speaking through the medium, "Fried."

"So she goes to the courthouse and has her name legally changed to
Nissy. Just Nissy. Then she writes a nice invitation to her dear friend
Gerpus, who lives across Georgetown from her, asking her over for tea
on Sunday at 4 o'clock.

So 4 oclock on Sunday rolls around, and Gerpus shows up at the
mostly-bifurcated Nissy's house.

"Finally you're here!" exclaims Nissy, the former Condy Rice. "This is
our big chance to fulfill Dobbs prophecy! Quick, take off all your
clothes!"

Gerpus is puzzled by this, but complies. When she's stark naked -- and
she is not bad looking, by the way -- she says, "Okay, I'm naked, what
now?"

"Now," says Nissy, "Take that circular saw and finish cutting me in
half. Just run it straight up through my skull till I'm split all the
way. Then put the two halfs of me down on the floor, side by side,
sorta like they are now but with some room in between. Then you lie
down nakked between those two halfs, and spread your legs out wide.
Then call Janor and tell him to hurry and get his white ass over here.
And tell him, THIS TIME, DON'T FORGET THE DICK!"

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Correspondent:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 3 Feb 2005 08:07:02 -0800

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D) Blames it on the Iranians and orders bombing to start ASAP.



Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Fri, 04 Feb 2005 12:46:42 -0800

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In article <4201C377.47BDEF15@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> Please help me finish this new joke? Here's what I have so far?
>
> Okay. Condy Rice is STARK NAKED, sawing herself in half with a circular
> saw, vertically, starting at the crotch. When she gets up to the
> breastbone, the blade jams up and the motor burns out so she's sitting
> there STARK NAKED, half sawed in half vertically starting at the crotch,
> with a burned out circular saw stuck to her chest. Does she:
>
> A. Call a priest, a rabbi and an imam
>
> B. Send an email to Ask This Old House
>
> C. Other
>
>
> THANK YOU?

None of the above. She picks up the phone and calls Michael Chertoff
over at Homeland Security to tell him about this guy making threatening
jokes on the internet. Shortly afterwards two men-in-black appear at
the guy's door and whisk him away in a black van with tinted windows,
after which he is never heard from again.

pb


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:04:46 -0800

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polar bear wrote:
> making threatening
> jokes on the internet.

I love it.