Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:05:41 -0800
--------
About a month ago I began being fed up with having to use a glass to cut
my biscuits. I refer here to the American Baking Powder Biscuit, a
quick white baked bread similar in some ways to the scone but with a
lighter texture. I come from a cut biscuit culture, as opposed to the
despised drop biscuit culture. The advantages of the cut biscuit
include uniformity of size, pleasing esthetics, and ease of splitting
for application of butter and condiments. The disadvantages of the drop
biscuit are too numerous and obvious to require elaboration. My mother
had an old aluminum biscuit cutter which had a donut insert, a smaller
circle which hooked onto two rivets inside the larger cutter to make
donuts, or could be removed for biscuits. Of course that seemed to me
to create the ideal size biscuit and the glass I have used to cut
biscuits with probably replicates that ideal size of childhood.
Effective though it may be, the essential function of a glass is not to
cut biscuits, but to be a conveyor of fluids, so I always felt an inner
dissatisfaction at having to use a glass to cut biscuits. (It should be
noted that childhood influences also impel me to bake my biscuits in a
pie pan whenever possible. This keeps them jammed together while
baking, insuring that all of them have some sides which are very soft
and moist from being stuck to the adjacent biscuit.) It was only a few
weeks ago that I started seriously sending out the biscuit/donut cutter
vibe, and looking with mixed longing and despair at the various modern
varieties of biscuit cutter sold in stores. I will not go into the
details of them here but I could, believe me.
To continue to make a long story long, I rode my bike to the library to
pick up three new volumes of What's Michael? by Makoto Kobayashi, the
only manga Mrs. Nenslo will read because it is about a cat, not some
magic ninja cat, just a cat, but funny as anything. I mean really
funny. On the street that goes past the library there was an estate
sale ("and you found the biscuit cutter you were looking for." - reader)
so I thought I would check it out after I checked out my books from the
library - get it? Parallelism, checking out books and checking out a
sale. Heh. It looked like it might be a genuine Old Lady estate sale,
and it was. ("And you found the biscuit cutter you were looking for." -
reader) It had a little room in the basement that was ALL christmas
items, an even smaller room which was half old clothes and half EASTER
items, and way in the back of the backmost room in the basement, big
jars of cloudy brown preserved fruits from the Eisenhower
administration. When I went into the kitchen there were a couple of
girls rummaging through one big drawer into which all the miscellaneous
kitchen items were dumped and I just knew that if I looked through there
I might find the biscuit cutter I wanted. ("And you did. The end." -
impatient reader) So when I got my turn at the drawer darned if I didn't
find the big, biscuit part of one of those biscuit cutters! It was only
a matter of more digging to find the donut insert! And GUESS WHAT!
("Oh for god's sake." - disgusted reader) I DID find it! And it was
only fifty cents! The exact thing I wanted! To buy!
So when I got home I looked in a couple of old cookbooks and found a
rolled and cut donut recipe, fired up a cup of canola in the wok and got
to mixing, rolling, cutting and frying donuts, and then dropping those
hot oily donuts into powdered sugar! Man oh man, there are some rewards
in life after all.
Correspondent:: Artemia Salina Date: Sun, 13 Feb 2005 22:28:31 -0500
--------
On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:05:41 -0800, nenslo wrote:
> I come from a cut biscuit culture, as opposed to the
> despised drop biscuit culture. The advantages of the cut biscuit
> include uniformity of size, pleasing esthetics, and ease of splitting
> for application of butter and condiments. The disadvantages of the drop
> biscuit are too numerous and obvious to require elaboration.
> (It should be
> noted that childhood influences also impel me to bake my biscuits in a
> pie pan whenever possible. This keeps them jammed together while
> baking, insuring that all of them have some sides which are very soft
> and moist from being stuck to the adjacent biscuit.)
I always KNEW that you were INSANE, nenslo, but after reading this I
KNOW you are! How can you say that you are of the cut biscuit school
when you go ahead and jam the biscuits into a pan so that they stick
together?! THE WHOLE POINT of cut biscuits is to have the sides of each
biscuit become stratified after the biscuit rises! ALL SIDES! Not just
SOME of the sides! With your method of baking cut biscuits you have to
TEAR them apart JUST LIKE DROP BISCUITS, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL *BE* DROP
BISCUITS!
SHEESH!! There's nothing I hate worse than a biscuit school poseur,
except for one that WRITES IT ALL OUT AND STILL DOESN'T SEE IT!
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:30:08 GMT
--------
Artemia Salina wrote:
>On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:05:41 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>
>> I come from a cut biscuit culture, as opposed to the
>> despised drop biscuit culture. The advantages of the cut biscuit
>> include uniformity of size, pleasing esthetics, and ease of splitting
>> for application of butter and condiments. The disadvantages of the drop
>> biscuit are too numerous and obvious to require elaboration.
>
>> (It should be
>> noted that childhood influences also impel me to bake my biscuits in a
>> pie pan whenever possible. This keeps them jammed together while
>> baking, insuring that all of them have some sides which are very soft
>> and moist from being stuck to the adjacent biscuit.)
>
>I always KNEW that you were INSANE, nenslo, but after reading this I
>KNOW you are! How can you say that you are of the cut biscuit school
>when you go ahead and jam the biscuits into a pan so that they stick
>together?! THE WHOLE POINT of cut biscuits is to have the sides of each
>biscuit become stratified after the biscuit rises! ALL SIDES! Not just
>SOME of the sides! With your method of baking cut biscuits you have to
>TEAR them apart JUST LIKE DROP BISCUITS, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL *BE* DROP
>BISCUITS!
>
>SHEESH!! There's nothing I hate worse than a biscuit school poseur,
>except for one that WRITES IT ALL OUT AND STILL DOESN'T SEE IT!
>
>--
I've always been fascinated by "beaten biscuits"
They say to beat them until they blister, which sort of makes
sense, but I usually lose interest and/or run out of energy
before the biscuits show any signs of blistering, just a few
welts. Also, the recipes say that beaten biscuits are crispy,
so they're not a high-priority on my biscuit list.
I have been experimenting with "Flung Biscuits"
They are somewhere in between dropped biscuits
and beaten biscuits, and involve flinging a dough
ball up in the air and catching it in the pan. This adds
considerably to the lightness of the final product.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 17:09:40 GMT
--------
In article ,
Artemia Salina wrote:
> I always KNEW that you were INSANE, nenslo, but after reading this I
> KNOW you are! How can you say that you are of the cut biscuit school
> when you go ahead and jam the biscuits into a pan so that they stick
> together?! THE WHOLE POINT of cut biscuits is to have the sides of each
> biscuit become stratified after the biscuit rises! ALL SIDES! Not just
> SOME of the sides! With your method of baking cut biscuits you have to
> TEAR them apart JUST LIKE DROP BISCUITS, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL *BE* DROP
> BISCUITS!
At his age, the sphincters are starting to go, so he drops biscuits all
over town as he cycles around. Its like outtakes from "Every Which Way
But Loose," where the orangutan keeps throwing his crap at the director.
That's a really repugnant buffet and the honey wagon, ugh.
--
HellPope Huey
The Overlord of Overload
"How are they getting along?"
"On looks alone, as far as I can tell."
- "Night Court"
If you're going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill
Correspondent:: "Rev. Richard Skull" Date: 14 Feb 2005 12:14:33 -0800
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>>Artemia Salina Feb 13, 7:28 pm show options
Newsgroups: alt.slack, talk.bizarre
From: Artemia Salina - Find messages by this
author
Local: Sun, Feb 13 2005 7:28 pm
Subject: Re: The Wonderful Donut Cutter
Reply | Reply to Author | Forward | Print | Individual Message | Show
original | Report Abuse
On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:05:41 -0800, nenslo wrote:
> I come from a cut biscuit culture, as opposed to the
> despised drop biscuit culture. The advantages of the cut biscuit
> include uniformity of size, pleasing esthetics, and ease of splitting
> for application of butter and condiments. The disadvantages of the
drop
> biscuit are too numerous and obvious to require elaboration.
> (It should be
> noted that childhood influences also impel me to bake my biscuits in
a
> pie pan whenever possible. This keeps them jammed together while
> baking, insuring that all of them have some sides which are very soft
> and moist from being stuck to the adjacent biscuit.)
I always KNEW that you were INSANE, nenslo, but after reading this I
KNOW you are! How can you say that you are of the cut biscuit school
when you go ahead and jam the biscuits into a pan so that they stick
together?! THE WHOLE POINT of cut biscuits is to have the sides of each
biscuit become stratified after the biscuit rises! ALL SIDES! Not just
SOME of the sides! With your method of baking cut biscuits you have to
TEAR them apart JUST LIKE DROP BISCUITS, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL *BE*
DROP
BISCUITS! <<
Now now! My dear departed Grandmother used to make drop biscuits from
scratch. They were great as the hard crust kept the insides moist.
Sure could use some of her biscuits now, alonf with a big helping of
the thick bacon! She used to buy a slab of bacon and cut it up at home!
MMMMMMM!!!!!!!
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:48:29 -0800
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
>
>
> Now now! My dear departed Grandmother used to make drop biscuits from
> scratch. They were great as the hard crust kept the insides moist.
Your dear Grandmother was a tool of the Devil and I regret to inform you
is baking drop biscuits IN HELL. Death to the biscuit heretic!
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:45:36 -0800
--------
Artemia Salina wrote:
>
> On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:05:41 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>
> > I come from a cut biscuit culture, as opposed to the
> > despised drop biscuit culture. The advantages of the cut biscuit
> > include uniformity of size, pleasing esthetics, and ease of splitting
> > for application of butter and condiments. The disadvantages of the drop
> > biscuit are too numerous and obvious to require elaboration.
>
> > (It should be
> > noted that childhood influences also impel me to bake my biscuits in a
> > pie pan whenever possible. This keeps them jammed together while
> > baking, insuring that all of them have some sides which are very soft
> > and moist from being stuck to the adjacent biscuit.)
>
> I always KNEW that you were INSANE, nenslo, but after reading this I
> KNOW you are! How can you say that you are of the cut biscuit school
> when you go ahead and jam the biscuits into a pan so that they stick
> together?! THE WHOLE POINT of cut biscuits is to have the sides of each
> biscuit become stratified after the biscuit rises! ALL SIDES! Not just
> SOME of the sides! With your method of baking cut biscuits you have to
> TEAR them apart JUST LIKE DROP BISCUITS, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL *BE* DROP
> BISCUITS!
You willfully disregard my other points - uniformity of size and
esthetic appeal. Cut biscuits retain a rough circularity and
flat-toppedness when baked in this manner which the repulsive and
turdlike drop biscuit never possesses. I acknowledge that you have your
own criteria and tastes in biscuits, but at least you are not fool
enough to actually support the drop biscuit heresy. The only way to
make drop biscuits acceptable at all - and I know this will shock some
IDIOTS - is to bake them in a muffin pan.
>
> SHEESH!! There's nothing I hate worse than a biscuit school poseur,
> except for one that WRITES IT ALL OUT AND STILL DOESN'T SEE IT!
>
I made more biscuits LAST WEEK than you have made in your whole life.
The last time I made them I baked them in a CAST IRON CORN STICK PAN
just for fun. If one is unnecessarily rigid in one's biscuit baking,
one might as well just be beating a cardboard tube of poppin fresh on
the edge of the counter.
Correspondent:: "«BONEHEAD>>" Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 06:23:38 GMT
--------
"nenslo" wrote in message
news:42112A0E.8CDD33B5@yahoox.com...
> Artemia Salina wrote:
> >
> > On Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:05:41 -0800, nenslo wrote:
> >
> > > I come from a cut biscuit culture, as opposed to the
> > > despised drop biscuit culture. The advantages of the cut biscuit
> > > include uniformity of size, pleasing esthetics, and ease of splitting
> > > for application of butter and condiments. The disadvantages of the
drop
> > > biscuit are too numerous and obvious to require elaboration.
> >
> > > (It should be
> > > noted that childhood influences also impel me to bake my biscuits in a
> > > pie pan whenever possible. This keeps them jammed together while
> > > baking, insuring that all of them have some sides which are very soft
> > > and moist from being stuck to the adjacent biscuit.)
> >
> > I always KNEW that you were INSANE, nenslo, but after reading this I
> > KNOW you are! How can you say that you are of the cut biscuit school
> > when you go ahead and jam the biscuits into a pan so that they stick
> > together?! THE WHOLE POINT of cut biscuits is to have the sides of each
> > biscuit become stratified after the biscuit rises! ALL SIDES! Not just
> > SOME of the sides! With your method of baking cut biscuits you have to
> > TEAR them apart JUST LIKE DROP BISCUITS, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL *BE* DROP
> > BISCUITS!
>
> You willfully disregard my other points - uniformity of size and
> esthetic appeal. Cut biscuits retain a rough circularity and
> flat-toppedness when baked in this manner which the repulsive and
> turdlike drop biscuit never possesses. I acknowledge that you have your
> own criteria and tastes in biscuits, but at least you are not fool
> enough to actually support the drop biscuit heresy. The only way to
> make drop biscuits acceptable at all - and I know this will shock some
> IDIOTS - is to bake them in a muffin pan.
> >
> > SHEESH!! There's nothing I hate worse than a biscuit school poseur,
> > except for one that WRITES IT ALL OUT AND STILL DOESN'T SEE IT!
> >
>
> I made more biscuits LAST WEEK than you have made in your whole life.
> The last time I made them I baked them in a CAST IRON CORN STICK PAN
> just for fun. If one is unnecessarily rigid in one's biscuit baking,
> one might as well just be beating a cardboard tube of poppin fresh on
> the edge of the counter.
Of course this ever so conveniebt method results in a perfectly sculpted
circular biscuit... I wonder if all this changes if you dropthen on the
pan...
Come to think of it.. I wonder what happens if you bake the whole tube
of them still together... I happen to have some in the friginator, nobody
but me
and the baby Bonehead will be home tomorrow... This ought to be fun...
--
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein
Correspondent:: "«BONEHEAD>>" Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 07:43:06 GMT
--------
"nenslo" wrote in message
news:420FDD45.D51185B7@yahoox.com...
>
> So when I got home I looked in a couple of old cookbooks and found a
> rolled and cut donut recipe, fired up a cup of canola in the wok and got
> to mixing, rolling, cutting and frying donuts, and then dropping those
> hot oily donuts into powdered sugar! Man oh man, there are some rewards
> in life after all.
SHSHHHHHSHHSSHSHIIIKKKKKKKK.....
That's the sound of your arteries sucking shut...
Stick to the biscuits..:)
--
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:49:19 -0800
--------
"«BONEHEAD>>" wrote:
>
> "nenslo" wrote in message
> news:420FDD45.D51185B7@yahoox.com...
> >
>
> > So when I got home I looked in a couple of old cookbooks and found a
> > rolled and cut donut recipe, fired up a cup of canola in the wok and got
> > to mixing, rolling, cutting and frying donuts, and then dropping those
> > hot oily donuts into powdered sugar! Man oh man, there are some rewards
> > in life after all.
>
> SHSHHHHHSHHSSHSHIIIKKKKKKKK.....
>
> That's the sound of your arteries sucking shut...
>
> Stick to the biscuits..:)
CANOLA. Nothing sticks.
Correspondent:: nikolai kingsley Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 20:41:35 +1100
--------
> ("Oh for god's sake." - disgusted reader) I DID find it! And it was
> only fifty cents! The exact thing I wanted! To buy!
who says capitalism doesn't work? praise Orton Nenslo.
Correspondent:: polar bear Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 12:40:18 -0800
--------
In article <37b9srF5b5hu4U1@individual.net>, nikolai kingsley
wrote:
> > ("Oh for god's sake." - disgusted reader) I DID find it! And it was
> > only fifty cents! The exact thing I wanted! To buy!
>
>
>
> who says capitalism doesn't work? praise Orton Nenslo.
Capitalism? The guy paid FULL PRICE! He should have started at 10
cents. Probably could have got it for a quarter.
No wonder he's poor.
pb
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:50:17 -0800
--------
polar bear wrote:
>
> In article <37b9srF5b5hu4U1@individual.net>, nikolai kingsley
> wrote:
>
> > > ("Oh for god's sake." - disgusted reader) I DID find it! And it was
> > > only fifty cents! The exact thing I wanted! To buy!
> >
> >
> >
> > who says capitalism doesn't work? praise Orton Nenslo.
>
> Capitalism? The guy paid FULL PRICE! He should have started at 10
> cents. Probably could have got it for a quarter.
>
> No wonder he's poor.
Dumbass - full price was a dollar. It was Sunday so everything was half off.
PLONK
Correspondent:: polar bear Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 23:38:36 -0800
--------
In article <42112B27.3F1B7090@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> polar bear wrote:
> >
> > In article <37b9srF5b5hu4U1@individual.net>, nikolai kingsley
> > wrote:
> >
> > > > ("Oh for god's sake." - disgusted reader) I DID find it! And it was
> > > > only fifty cents! The exact thing I wanted! To buy!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > who says capitalism doesn't work? praise Orton Nenslo.
> >
> > Capitalism? The guy paid FULL PRICE! He should have started at 10
> > cents. Probably could have got it for a quarter.
> >
> > No wonder he's poor.
>
> Dumbass - full price was a dollar. It was Sunday so everything was half off.
>
> PLONK
UNPLONK
And you believed them! Man, they got your number.
pb
Correspondent:: "just john" Date: 14 Feb 2005 06:48:54 -0800
--------
Not only that, but you'll save lots of calories when you go to drink
beer from the biscuit cutter.
Correspondent:: Gary Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 21:17:10 +0000 (UTC)
--------
nenslo wrote:
>
> About a month ago I began being fed up with having to use a glass to cut
> my biscuits.
I use a beer bottle with the labels washed off as a rolling pin. I quite
like it when I find some useful job for something which would otherwise go
in the trash.
Sorry don't know why I had the sudden urge to share that with you.
G
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:51:10 -0800
--------
Gary wrote:
>
> nenslo wrote:
>
> >
> > About a month ago I began being fed up with having to use a glass to cut
> > my biscuits.
>
> I use a beer bottle with the labels washed off as a rolling pin. I quite
> like it when I find some useful job for something which would otherwise go
> in the trash.
>
I feel the very same way about my brain.
> Sorry don't know why I had the sudden urge to share that with you.
>
> G
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod" Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 11:39:08 GMT
--------
"nenslo" wrote in message
news:42112B5C.35FD062C@yahoox.com...
> Gary wrote:
> > nenslo wrote:
> > > About a month ago I began being fed up with having to use a glass
to cut
> > > my biscuits.
> >
> > I use a beer bottle with the labels washed off as a rolling pin. I
quite
> > like it when I find some useful job for something which would
otherwise go
> > in the trash.
> >
> I feel the very same way about my brain.