The latest gossip from Nashville
Correspondent:: Baldin Pramer
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2005 20:38:49 -0700
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A friend of mine who made it big as a Nashville songwriter came through
town last night, and this is a joke he told me. I don't get it, but it's
supposed to be funny down south. I laughed anyway.
Q: What happens if you leave the baby too long in the microwave?
A: I don't know. I was in the other room masturbating.
I also heard that Merle Haggard is still "drinking", but uses an alcohol
enema to avoid messing up his vocal cords when he is on tour, and that
the Dixie Chicks, despite their anti-establishment caché, are really
assholes.
And that's the news from Nashville. Thank yew, and y'all come back now,
y'hear?
--
Sir Baldin Pramer, R.P.A.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2005 17:48:38 GMT
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In article <4212c01e$1@nntp.zianet.com>,
Baldin Pramer wrote:
> and that
> the Dixie Chicks, despite their anti-establishment caché, are really
> assholes.
So they're just like us, eh? Dibs on the one who dissed the President.
At least she's HONEST about it, whooo pig SOOOEEEE!!
{Insert generic dead Elvis sodomy joke here}
--
HellPope Huey
Part of being HellPope
is that you have to spend
too much time at the office.
It is hard to be strong and not rash.
- Japanese Proverb
[from H.L. Mencken's Dictionary]
"I hear music in my head all the time.
Sometimes it makes my brain throb
and the room starts to turn.
I feel I'm going mad.
With this music, we will paint pictures
of earth and space
so that the listener can be taken somewhere.
It's going to be something
that will open up a new sense in people's minds.
- Jimi Hendrix
Correspondent:: Baldin Pramer
Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2005 20:14:24 -0700
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HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article <4212c01e$1@nntp.zianet.com>,
> Baldin Pramer wrote:
>
>
>>and that
>>the Dixie Chicks, despite their anti-establishment caché, are really
>>assholes.
>
>
> So they're just like us, eh?
No, apparently they are worse than us. They so pissed off the sound crew
that microphones were rubbed deep in butt cracks after sound check.
> Dibs on the one who dissed the President.
> At least she's HONEST about it, whooo pig SOOOEEEE!!
Buy her some breath mints and let me know how that date goes.
> {Insert generic dead Elvis sodomy joke here}
Mr. and Mrs. Dead Rotting Sodomized Elvis walked into a bar and ordered
Zombies. The bartender says "We don't serve Zombies here." Well, this
infuriated Mrs. Dead Rotting Sodomized Elvis, so she says "Do you know
who you're dealing with here? This is no Zombie. This is the King of
Rock and Roll!!" "Oh yeah?" says the barkeep, "well, he *smells* like
the Stink of Rotting Hole."
Oh.... ah... badda boom!
--
Sir Baldin Pramer, R.P.A.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2005 03:44:48 GMT
--------
In article <42140be4$1@nntp.zianet.com>,
Baldin Pramer wrote:
> Mr. and Mrs. Dead Rotting Sodomized Elvis walked into a bar and ordered
> Zombies. The bartender says "We don't serve Zombies here." Well, this
> infuriated Mrs. Dead Rotting Sodomized Elvis, so she says "Do you know
> who you're dealing with here? This is no Zombie. This is the King of
> Rock and Roll!!" "Oh yeah?" says the barkeep, "well, he *smells* like
> the Stink of Rotting Hole."
Gosh, fuck "Bob;" people should be sending YOU $30. AHENH!!
--
HellPope Huey
Part of being HellPope
is that you have to spend
too much time at the office.
It is hard to be strong and not rash.
- Japanese Proverb
[from H.L. Mencken's Dictionary]
"I hear music in my head all the time.
Sometimes it makes my brain throb
and the room starts to turn.
I feel I'm going mad.
With this music, we will paint pictures
of earth and space
so that the listener can be taken somewhere.
It's going to be something
that will open up a new sense in people's minds.
- Jimi Hendrix
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 17 Feb 2005 00:22:18 -0800
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>They so pissed off the sound crew
>that microphones were rubbed deep in butt >cracks after sound check.
Yeah, never piss off a blue collar worker without much to loose. I have
a buddy that used to work at Long John Silvers that would serve the
batter that would accumulate on the soles of his workboots, scraped off
and deep fried, to anyone who gave the girl at the register a hard
time. This was his way of courting her her, incidentally. It didn't
work as well as he had planned. Some bitches have no appreciation for
love-fueled acts of petty spite.
One time on a Friday during Lent, (it was therefore very busy at Long
John Silvers because of the "no meat, fish is okay" insanity practiced
by the Catholic Cabal) Drew singlehandedly cleared the restruant of all
but three patrons when he emmited the most deeply disturbing howl of
pure agony the human body can muster at a decibel that would knock the
contact lenses out of your eyes. At the tender age of 16, for reasons
unclear to this day, as he passed a kidney stone that was like a
fucking rock of driveway gravel that he didn't even know he had. He
promptly fainted and had to be treated for shock by an off- duty
paramedic after the event. He's never had a problem with it since.
"That's a true story."
-Michael Corleone, "The Godfather"