"Third Rail Radio" Show Report
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 22 Feb 2005 01:23:17 -0800

--------
Well, last week I announced the begining of the newest SubGenius radio
show, "Third Rail Radio", and asked for advice on how to do it. Got
some damn fine feedback. Thanks again. My plan was this: To do some
pre-recorded shows, and then to slide slowly into live radio as the
listening audience got involved over the next few weeks. I made the
pre-done shows on my PC, which promptly crashed due to a viral
infection before I could burn them onto a CD. At that point, I believe
I uttered some phrase along the lines of "ah...fuck me."

Panic set in, I would have to do live radio completely virgin with
little to no preparaton. I had a day to get my act together. And in
true emergentile fashion, I jotted down an impromptu rant in my
notebooks, which, along with a few news stories and songs, managed to
pull off a passable show for a first try.

Submitted for your approval, I now present to you that rant:

(Background music: Raymond Scott- Powerhouse)

Some of you might be sitting out there, listening to this show at this
hour of the night, and some of you might be a little drunk. And
that's good, that leads to clear thinking, CORRECT thinking, thinking
outside the box, outside the boundaries that THEY set up for you. When
you're a little drunk, well, you're confident, sure of yourself and
your abilities. You think, "Yeah, I CAN get her phone number!" or
"Yeah, I CAN knock this frat boy on his ass!" or "Yeah, I can
DRIVE my car!". And that's what "Bob" wants, he wants you to
feel good about yourself, "Bob" doesn't want no neurotic little
sissies, little girlie SubGeniuses running around saying "Oh, I'm
so depressed about everything." or "Oh, I feel so inadequate!" or
WORST OF ALL, "Oh, I'm in this stupid little cult, it's kinda
dumb, really, it's all one big joke, don't know why I even do
it...." NYET! NEIN! NO!

That is NOT what THIS Church NEEDS! We don't want fragile little
eggshell SubGeniuses, we want MANIACS FOR "BOB"! And when you're
good and smashed, when you've had so much SoCo you're wearing your
SOCKS on your HANDS and your GLOVES on your FEET, YOU can BE that
MANIAC! You can STAND UP on that barstool at the Saloon downtown, and
you can SCREAM "HEY! NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE FRIGGIN'
WORMS! YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN IN HELL AND I AM GOING TO LAUGH!
BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE TRUTH! I'VE GOT J.R. "BOB" DOBBS! AND THAT
MAKES ME BETTER THAN ALL YOU FREAKING SWINE!"

And then they forcibly eject you from the premises.

But not before giving everyone in that bar a good story to go home and
talk about. Think about that. Them frat boys will go home to the house
and tell their "brothers", "Oh, dude, you should have been
downtown tonight, there was this weird-o standing on the table and
yelling about some J.R. "Bob" Dobbs guy! It was off the chain!"
(I hate that phrase, but they say that a lot.)

And you do it again.

And again. And you get thrown out of more bars, but DON'T STOP, it'll
all be WORTH IT.

And "Bob" gets around, he spreads to the halls of learning, to the
sororities, even:

"Oh, my GAWD, Amy, I was at the bar trying to get these losers to buy
me drinks, and this GUY, this THING was SCREAMING about this other guy,
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs! I know! Omigod! Let's go tanning. It's
February, nobody will know it's fake."

And if you do it enough, and if enough of us do it, people will get
curious. And they'll go to the website. And SubGenius and the WORD OF
"BOB" will SPREAD like CANCER through this campus. And one day, one
GLORIOUS SHINING MOMENT, I will be walking down College Ave, and I will
see a beautiful woman outside Player's Nightclub, dressed to get laid
and wearing a DOBBSHEAD T-shirt.

And I will LAUGH. Because WE HAVE HER MONEY.

But some of you might be wondering "Gee, so I go to bars, and I
scream his holy and sweet name to the night sky, and now what? What
have I accomplished?"

First of all, if you're thinking about accomplishment as a measure of
success, then you are FAR GONE INDEED. Far gone. You MUST STOP looking
at what it is that you have done and START looking at how you can get
away with MORE. It should NEVER be enough. EVER.

All religions are inherently greedy and selfish. We're just the first
ones to openly come out and say "Yes, we are greedy, and yes, we want
your money." And SOME of you less attuned initiates might be thinking
"Well, if "Bob"'s so damn hip (he's not) then seeing some
drunken party girl in a Dobbshead shirt is a travesty!" To these
poor, deluded fools I say your mouths should be SEWN SHUT for speaking
such HERESY. Wise up, STUPID. That crap for brains just gave us FREE
MONEY. And we didn't have to lift a damn finger, that's SLACK.
Twenty bucks for NOTHING. (Alright, get technical, the cost of the
shirt, like 17 cents tops, so 19 dollars and 83 cents for nothing.) If
you're STUPID enough to BEAR HIS SIGIL, to wear that DOBBSHEAD as a
FASHION STATEMENT, because you think it's TRENDY or COOL, then you
WILL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE COME X-DAY, twice as bad as some pink waste
of space that never even heard of "Bob". I've got FAITH in that
truth, so LET IT RIDE, baby!

"But Paul, what can "Bob" do for ME?" you ask? You actually
DARE to ask such a SELFISH question?

GOOD. That's good. That means it's working. That means you might be
ready for the horrible answers you seek.

Take temptation for example. Most religious, I don't want to name any
names, but I see Christianity looking around back there all guilty,
most religions have some kind of PROBLEM with temptation. They say
"No, don't you DARE jump into that bed with that pile of oiled up
strippers from The End Zone, don't you DARE, God sez NO!"

And that kind of logic...is just frickin' INSANE.

If you EVER have the chance to hit the sheets with three or four oiled
up strippers and you say "No thank you." FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER,
EVEN if the life of your ONLY CHILD depends on you getting out of there
RIGHT THAT INSTANT, and you DON'T..."Bob"'s awful hand will
STRIKE YOU DOWN to NOTHING because you are a RETARD.

We here at the Church of the SubGenius, we say the ONLY way to handle
temptation, the only way that makes GOOD SENSE, is to INDULGE IN IT, to
RUN RIGHT AT IT AND TAKE IT UNTIL YOU CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE or you
might go INSANE. And then, you will be intimately FAMILIAR with
temptation, and you will know your enemy and be able to OVERCOME it in
the future.

"Bob" is not here to forgive your sins, he's here to JUSTIFY
them. And THAT is what makes US BETTER than any other one of THEM. We
have a LISCENCE TO KILL or FORNICATE, or whatever it is that you want
to do, not because you want to do it, but because it will be AGAINST
YOUR RELIGION NOT TO. Only if you're one of us, that is. Oh,
you're not? Oh, you haven't sent your $30 dollars to PO Box 181417,
Cleveland Hts, OH 44118? Oh, never mind, then. Here, just listen to
this music and go back to sleep. It'll all be still here when you
wake up...or will it? PRAIZE "BOB".

(End rant.)



Correspondent:: "Chain Smerker"
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 09:29:52 GMT

--------

"Paul Casino" wrote in message
news:1109064197.008981.271760@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> Well, last week I announced the begining of the newest SubGenius radio
> show, "Third Rail Radio", and asked for advice on how to do it. Got
> some damn fine feedback. Thanks again. My plan was this: To do some
> pre-recorded shows, and then to slide slowly into live radio as the
> listening audience got involved over the next few weeks. I made the
> pre-done shows on my PC, which promptly crashed due to a viral
> infection before I could burn them onto a CD. At that point, I believe
> I uttered some phrase along the lines of "ah...fuck me."
>
> Panic set in, I would have to do live radio completely virgin with
> little to no preparaton. I had a day to get my act together. And in
> true emergentile fashion, I jotted down an impromptu rant in my
> notebooks, which, along with a few news stories and songs, managed to
> pull off a passable show for a first try.
>
> Submitted for your approval, I now present to you that rant:
>
> (Background music: Raymond Scott- Powerhouse)
>
> Some of you might be sitting out there, listening to this show at this
> hour of the night, and some of you might be a little drunk. And
> that's good, that leads to clear thinking, CORRECT thinking, thinking
> outside the box, outside the boundaries that THEY set up for you. When
> you're a little drunk, well, you're confident, sure of yourself and
> your abilities. You think, "Yeah, I CAN get her phone number!" or
> "Yeah, I CAN knock this frat boy on his ass!" or "Yeah, I can
> DRIVE my car!". And that's what "Bob" wants, he wants you to
> feel good about yourself, "Bob" doesn't want no neurotic little
> sissies, little girlie SubGeniuses running around saying "Oh, I'm
> so depressed about everything." or "Oh, I feel so inadequate!" or
> WORST OF ALL, "Oh, I'm in this stupid little cult, it's kinda
> dumb, really, it's all one big joke, don't know why I even do
> it...." NYET! NEIN! NO!
>
> That is NOT what THIS Church NEEDS! We don't want fragile little
> eggshell SubGeniuses, we want MANIACS FOR "BOB"! And when you're
> good and smashed, when you've had so much SoCo you're wearing your
> SOCKS on your HANDS and your GLOVES on your FEET, YOU can BE that
> MANIAC! You can STAND UP on that barstool at the Saloon downtown, and
> you can SCREAM "HEY! NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE FRIGGIN'
> WORMS! YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN IN HELL AND I AM GOING TO LAUGH!
> BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE TRUTH! I'VE GOT J.R. "BOB" DOBBS! AND THAT
> MAKES ME BETTER THAN ALL YOU FREAKING SWINE!"
>
> And then they forcibly eject you from the premises.
>
> But not before giving everyone in that bar a good story to go home and
> talk about. Think about that. Them frat boys will go home to the house
> and tell their "brothers", "Oh, dude, you should have been
> downtown tonight, there was this weird-o standing on the table and
> yelling about some J.R. "Bob" Dobbs guy! It was off the chain!"
> (I hate that phrase, but they say that a lot.)
>
> And you do it again.
>
> And again. And you get thrown out of more bars, but DON'T STOP, it'll
> all be WORTH IT.
>
> And "Bob" gets around, he spreads to the halls of learning, to the
> sororities, even:
>
> "Oh, my GAWD, Amy, I was at the bar trying to get these losers to buy
> me drinks, and this GUY, this THING was SCREAMING about this other guy,
> J.R. "Bob" Dobbs! I know! Omigod! Let's go tanning. It's
> February, nobody will know it's fake."
>
> And if you do it enough, and if enough of us do it, people will get
> curious. And they'll go to the website. And SubGenius and the WORD OF
> "BOB" will SPREAD like CANCER through this campus. And one day, one
> GLORIOUS SHINING MOMENT, I will be walking down College Ave, and I will
> see a beautiful woman outside Player's Nightclub, dressed to get laid
> and wearing a DOBBSHEAD T-shirt.
>
> And I will LAUGH. Because WE HAVE HER MONEY.
>
> But some of you might be wondering "Gee, so I go to bars, and I
> scream his holy and sweet name to the night sky, and now what? What
> have I accomplished?"
>
> First of all, if you're thinking about accomplishment as a measure of
> success, then you are FAR GONE INDEED. Far gone. You MUST STOP looking
> at what it is that you have done and START looking at how you can get
> away with MORE. It should NEVER be enough. EVER.
>
> All religions are inherently greedy and selfish. We're just the first
> ones to openly come out and say "Yes, we are greedy, and yes, we want
> your money." And SOME of you less attuned initiates might be thinking
> "Well, if "Bob"'s so damn hip (he's not) then seeing some
> drunken party girl in a Dobbshead shirt is a travesty!" To these
> poor, deluded fools I say your mouths should be SEWN SHUT for speaking
> such HERESY. Wise up, STUPID. That crap for brains just gave us FREE
> MONEY. And we didn't have to lift a damn finger, that's SLACK.
> Twenty bucks for NOTHING. (Alright, get technical, the cost of the
> shirt, like 17 cents tops, so 19 dollars and 83 cents for nothing.) If
> you're STUPID enough to BEAR HIS SIGIL, to wear that DOBBSHEAD as a
> FASHION STATEMENT, because you think it's TRENDY or COOL, then you
> WILL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE COME X-DAY, twice as bad as some pink waste
> of space that never even heard of "Bob". I've got FAITH in that
> truth, so LET IT RIDE, baby!
>
> "But Paul, what can "Bob" do for ME?" you ask? You actually
> DARE to ask such a SELFISH question?
>
> GOOD. That's good. That means it's working. That means you might be
> ready for the horrible answers you seek.
>
> Take temptation for example. Most religious, I don't want to name any
> names, but I see Christianity looking around back there all guilty,
> most religions have some kind of PROBLEM with temptation. They say
> "No, don't you DARE jump into that bed with that pile of oiled up
> strippers from The End Zone, don't you DARE, God sez NO!"
>
> And that kind of logic...is just frickin' INSANE.
>
> If you EVER have the chance to hit the sheets with three or four oiled
> up strippers and you say "No thank you." FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER,
> EVEN if the life of your ONLY CHILD depends on you getting out of there
> RIGHT THAT INSTANT, and you DON'T..."Bob"'s awful hand will
> STRIKE YOU DOWN to NOTHING because you are a RETARD.
>
> We here at the Church of the SubGenius, we say the ONLY way to handle
> temptation, the only way that makes GOOD SENSE, is to INDULGE IN IT, to
> RUN RIGHT AT IT AND TAKE IT UNTIL YOU CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE or you
> might go INSANE. And then, you will be intimately FAMILIAR with
> temptation, and you will know your enemy and be able to OVERCOME it in
> the future.
>
> "Bob" is not here to forgive your sins, he's here to JUSTIFY
> them. And THAT is what makes US BETTER than any other one of THEM. We
> have a LISCENCE TO KILL or FORNICATE, or whatever it is that you want
> to do, not because you want to do it, but because it will be AGAINST
> YOUR RELIGION NOT TO. Only if you're one of us, that is. Oh,
> you're not? Oh, you haven't sent your $30 dollars to PO Box 181417,
> Cleveland Hts, OH 44118? Oh, never mind, then. Here, just listen to
> this music and go back to sleep. It'll all be still here when you
> wake up...or will it? PRAIZE "BOB".
>
> (End rant.)
>

Good work, allot of info there though, the average radio listener at that
time has an attention span of about 1 minute so if possible id split the
rant up




Correspondent:: "Chain Smerker"
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 09:39:55 GMT

--------

"Paul Casino" wrote in message
news:1109064197.008981.271760@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> Well, last week I announced the begining of the newest SubGenius radio
> show, "Third Rail Radio", and asked for advice on how to do it. Got
> some damn fine feedback. Thanks again. My plan was this: To do some
> pre-recorded shows, and then to slide slowly into live radio as the
> listening audience got involved over the next few weeks. I made the
> pre-done shows on my PC, which promptly crashed due to a viral
> infection before I could burn them onto a CD. At that point, I believe
> I uttered some phrase along the lines of "ah...fuck me."
>
> Panic set in, I would have to do live radio completely virgin with
> little to no preparaton. I had a day to get my act together. And in
> true emergentile fashion, I jotted down an impromptu rant in my
> notebooks, which, along with a few news stories and songs, managed to
> pull off a passable show for a first try.
>
> Submitted for your approval, I now present to you that rant:
>
> (Background music: Raymond Scott- Powerhouse)
>
> Some of you might be sitting out there, listening to this show at this
> hour of the night, and some of you might be a little drunk. And
> that's good, that leads to clear thinking, CORRECT thinking, thinking
> outside the box, outside the boundaries that THEY set up for you. When
> you're a little drunk, well, you're confident, sure of yourself and
> your abilities. You think, "Yeah, I CAN get her phone number!" or
> "Yeah, I CAN knock this frat boy on his ass!" or "Yeah, I can
> DRIVE my car!". And that's what "Bob" wants, he wants you to
> feel good about yourself, "Bob" doesn't want no neurotic little
> sissies, little girlie SubGeniuses running around saying "Oh, I'm
> so depressed about everything." or "Oh, I feel so inadequate!" or
> WORST OF ALL, "Oh, I'm in this stupid little cult, it's kinda
> dumb, really, it's all one big joke, don't know why I even do
> it...." NYET! NEIN! NO!
>
> That is NOT what THIS Church NEEDS! We don't want fragile little
> eggshell SubGeniuses, we want MANIACS FOR "BOB"! And when you're
> good and smashed, when you've had so much SoCo you're wearing your
> SOCKS on your HANDS and your GLOVES on your FEET, YOU can BE that
> MANIAC! You can STAND UP on that barstool at the Saloon downtown, and
> you can SCREAM "HEY! NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE FRIGGIN'
> WORMS! YOU ARE ALL GOING TO BURN IN HELL AND I AM GOING TO LAUGH!
> BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE TRUTH! I'VE GOT J.R. "BOB" DOBBS! AND THAT
> MAKES ME BETTER THAN ALL YOU FREAKING SWINE!"
>
> And then they forcibly eject you from the premises.
>
> But not before giving everyone in that bar a good story to go home and
> talk about. Think about that. Them frat boys will go home to the house
> and tell their "brothers", "Oh, dude, you should have been
> downtown tonight, there was this weird-o standing on the table and
> yelling about some J.R. "Bob" Dobbs guy! It was off the chain!"
> (I hate that phrase, but they say that a lot.)
>
> And you do it again.
>
> And again. And you get thrown out of more bars, but DON'T STOP, it'll
> all be WORTH IT.
>
> And "Bob" gets around, he spreads to the halls of learning, to the
> sororities, even:
>
> "Oh, my GAWD, Amy, I was at the bar trying to get these losers to buy
> me drinks, and this GUY, this THING was SCREAMING about this other guy,
> J.R. "Bob" Dobbs! I know! Omigod! Let's go tanning. It's
> February, nobody will know it's fake."
>
> And if you do it enough, and if enough of us do it, people will get
> curious. And they'll go to the website. And SubGenius and the WORD OF
> "BOB" will SPREAD like CANCER through this campus. And one day, one
> GLORIOUS SHINING MOMENT, I will be walking down College Ave, and I will
> see a beautiful woman outside Player's Nightclub, dressed to get laid
> and wearing a DOBBSHEAD T-shirt.
>
> And I will LAUGH. Because WE HAVE HER MONEY.
>
> But some of you might be wondering "Gee, so I go to bars, and I
> scream his holy and sweet name to the night sky, and now what? What
> have I accomplished?"
>
> First of all, if you're thinking about accomplishment as a measure of
> success, then you are FAR GONE INDEED. Far gone. You MUST STOP looking
> at what it is that you have done and START looking at how you can get
> away with MORE. It should NEVER be enough. EVER.
>
> All religions are inherently greedy and selfish. We're just the first
> ones to openly come out and say "Yes, we are greedy, and yes, we want
> your money." And SOME of you less attuned initiates might be thinking
> "Well, if "Bob"'s so damn hip (he's not) then seeing some
> drunken party girl in a Dobbshead shirt is a travesty!" To these
> poor, deluded fools I say your mouths should be SEWN SHUT for speaking
> such HERESY. Wise up, STUPID. That crap for brains just gave us FREE
> MONEY. And we didn't have to lift a damn finger, that's SLACK.
> Twenty bucks for NOTHING. (Alright, get technical, the cost of the
> shirt, like 17 cents tops, so 19 dollars and 83 cents for nothing.) If
> you're STUPID enough to BEAR HIS SIGIL, to wear that DOBBSHEAD as a
> FASHION STATEMENT, because you think it's TRENDY or COOL, then you
> WILL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE COME X-DAY, twice as bad as some pink waste
> of space that never even heard of "Bob". I've got FAITH in that
> truth, so LET IT RIDE, baby!
>
> "But Paul, what can "Bob" do for ME?" you ask? You actually
> DARE to ask such a SELFISH question?
>
> GOOD. That's good. That means it's working. That means you might be
> ready for the horrible answers you seek.
>
> Take temptation for example. Most religious, I don't want to name any
> names, but I see Christianity looking around back there all guilty,
> most religions have some kind of PROBLEM with temptation. They say
> "No, don't you DARE jump into that bed with that pile of oiled up
> strippers from The End Zone, don't you DARE, God sez NO!"
>
> And that kind of logic...is just frickin' INSANE.
>
> If you EVER have the chance to hit the sheets with three or four oiled
> up strippers and you say "No thank you." FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER,
> EVEN if the life of your ONLY CHILD depends on you getting out of there
> RIGHT THAT INSTANT, and you DON'T..."Bob"'s awful hand will
> STRIKE YOU DOWN to NOTHING because you are a RETARD.
>
> We here at the Church of the SubGenius, we say the ONLY way to handle
> temptation, the only way that makes GOOD SENSE, is to INDULGE IN IT, to
> RUN RIGHT AT IT AND TAKE IT UNTIL YOU CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE or you
> might go INSANE. And then, you will be intimately FAMILIAR with
> temptation, and you will know your enemy and be able to OVERCOME it in
> the future.
>
> "Bob" is not here to forgive your sins, he's here to JUSTIFY
> them. And THAT is what makes US BETTER than any other one of THEM. We
> have a LISCENCE TO KILL or FORNICATE, or whatever it is that you want
> to do, not because you want to do it, but because it will be AGAINST
> YOUR RELIGION NOT TO. Only if you're one of us, that is. Oh,
> you're not? Oh, you haven't sent your $30 dollars to PO Box 181417,
> Cleveland Hts, OH 44118? Oh, never mind, then. Here, just listen to
> this music and go back to sleep. It'll all be still here when you
> wake up...or will it? PRAIZE "BOB".
>
> (End rant.)
>

Oh yeah also warm up the dupes by stealing as much work as you can from
previous Hour Of Slack productions, but its YOUR show, and you really
shouldnt listen to anyone, as a famous Zen Master told me right before I
joined hte only true church "preach without preaching"




Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 22 Feb 2005 01:58:57 -0800

--------
>Oh yeah also warm up the dupes by stealing as much work as you can
from
>previous Hour Of Slack productions, but its YOUR show.

Damn straight, nigga! Actually, my plan is to do the exact opposite, to
attempt to stay as far away from old HOS as I can (unless I get lazy).
I'm personally incredibly sensitive to "hack" entertainment, I'd feel
more comfortable PERSONALLY rolling solo on this, and I put personally
in caps there because I don't have a problem with anyone else that does
that, just for me, I like to call it all mine.

But you're right on the fact that the rant was ENTIRELY too long,
that's not the first time I heard that, won't be the last, either. It
was a stream of consciousness deal that I did in terrible haste and
barely had time to edit down to an acceptable length. Looked fine on
paper, but once it actually began to go, and go...AND GO... Chalk it up
to rookie error and get 'em next time, I say.



Correspondent:: "Chain Smerker"
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 10:14:35 GMT

--------

"Paul Casino" wrote in message
news:1109066337.052169.174830@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> >Oh yeah also warm up the dupes by stealing as much work as you can
> from
>>previous Hour Of Slack productions, but its YOUR show.
>
> Damn straight, nigga! Actually, my plan is to do the exact opposite, to
> attempt to stay as far away from old HOS as I can (unless I get lazy).
> I'm personally incredibly sensitive to "hack" entertainment, I'd feel
> more comfortable PERSONALLY rolling solo on this, and I put personally
> in caps there because I don't have a problem with anyone else that does
> that, just for me, I like to call it all mine.
>
> But you're right on the fact that the rant was ENTIRELY too long,
> that's not the first time I heard that, won't be the last, either. It
> was a stream of consciousness deal that I did in terrible haste and
> barely had time to edit down to an acceptable length. Looked fine on
> paper, but once it actually began to go, and go...AND GO... Chalk it up
> to rookie error and get 'em next time, I say.
>

Well anyway good luck, and try not be be too anxious just remember who your
target audience is! :-), will you be posting your virgin episoe anywhere?




Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 22 Feb 2005 02:18:57 -0800

--------
Soon as I get this virus off my computer I'll see what I can do about
hitting alt.binaries.slack with it, pending I get off my ass and call
my ISP about getting it.



Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 20:27:00 GMT

--------
In article <1109067537.493556.143610@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
"Paul Casino" wrote:

> Soon as I get this virus off my computer I'll see what I can do about
> hitting alt.binaries.slack with it, pending I get off my ass and call
> my ISP about getting it.

You can't say "ass" on the radio. Children might be listening. You're
going to Hell and then to Detroit.

--

HellPope Huey
If you can read this,
you're online too damned much
and Big Ronda sends her love

You only have power over people
so long as you don't take everything away from them.
But when you've robbed a man of everything,
he's no longer in your power- he's free again.
- Alexander Solzhenitsyn, "The First Circle"

"We're almost too drunk to use power tools."
- "King of the Hill"


Correspondent:: "shazbot667"
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 17:47:55 -0500

--------
> But you're right on the fact that the rant was ENTIRELY too long,
> that's not the first time I heard that, won't be the last, either. It
> was a stream of consciousness deal that I did in terrible haste and
> barely had time to edit down to an acceptable length. Looked fine on
> paper, but once it actually began to go, and go...AND GO... Chalk it up
> to rookie error and get 'em next time, I say.
>

Something that might hell (and that you may have tried or was previously
suggested), read the entire thing out loud & time yerself. Get a stopwatch
or clock or whatever & time how long it actually takes you to say the thing,
with all the intonations, pregnant pauses and all that shit. Go get 'em
tiger.

And why does one need alcohol to free the brain? Booze makes me feel...
NORMAL! Fuck that! I rather be my whacked out fucked up self than normal!
But that is MY gig. I blew away enough braincells I didn't need years ago,
feel free to erase your own at yer leisure.

Shazbot!