and don't even ASK about blowjobs
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 2005 21:52:27 -0700
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http://apnews.excite.com/article/20050218/D88AJHL00.html
Your chewing gum has just lost its flavor, but there is no
garbage can in sight. What do you do? According to Jewish
law, get ready to swallow it.
A prominent Israeli rabbi has ruled that spitting gum on a
sidewalk or hiding it under a desk is a violation of Halacha
or Jewish law, the Yediot Ahronot newspaper reported Thursday.
"Gum cannot be thrown where others are liable to be disgusted
by it," said Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu, the rabbi of the holy city
of Safed.
Improperly discarded gum may appear to be hidden, but "God
knows" where it is, Eliyahu said, according to the newspaper.
Swallowing the gum is a better solution, the rabbi said,
though he criticized the use of chewing gum in general.
"Chewing gum is the practice of lower forms of life. It
expresses inner tension and lack of control. People with
self-respect do not chew gum except on special occasions
because of special circumstances," he said.
--
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Correspondent:: Sternodox
Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2005 13:34:23 -0600
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Thanks M. nu-monet! This gives me a GREAT idea for a new story. I'm
writing it as soon as I sign off and I suspect there will be many
references to BUTTFUCKING included therein.
In article <4216C60B.172D@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v7.0
wrote:
> http://apnews.excite.com/article/20050218/D88AJHL00.html
>
> Your chewing gum has just lost its flavor, but there is no
> garbage can in sight. What do you do? According to Jewish
> law, get ready to swallow it.
>
> A prominent Israeli rabbi has ruled that spitting gum on a
> sidewalk or hiding it under a desk is a violation of Halacha
> or Jewish law, the Yediot Ahronot newspaper reported Thursday.
>
> "Gum cannot be thrown where others are liable to be disgusted
> by it," said Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu, the rabbi of the holy city
> of Safed.
>
> Improperly discarded gum may appear to be hidden, but "God
> knows" where it is, Eliyahu said, according to the newspaper.
>
> Swallowing the gum is a better solution, the rabbi said,
> though he criticized the use of chewing gum in general.
>
> "Chewing gum is the practice of lower forms of life. It
> expresses inner tension and lack of control. People with
> self-respect do not chew gum except on special occasions
> because of special circumstances," he said.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2005 21:27:56 GMT
--------
Hey dickwad, what about blowjobs? TOO EASY.
--
HellPope Huey
Why the f*** am I HERE?
Oh yeah, for the buffet
"Evil beware: we have waffles."
- 'Teen Titans"
"Do not remove a fly
from your friend's forehead
with a hatchet."
- Chinese Proverb
Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Sun, 20 Feb 2005 04:43:01 -0800
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In article <4216C60B.172D@succeeds.com>, "nu-monet v7.0"
wrote:
> http://apnews.excite.com/article/20050218/D88AJHL00.html
>
> Your chewing gum has just lost its flavor, but there is no
> garbage can in sight. What do you do? According to Jewish
> law, get ready to swallow it.
>
> A prominent Israeli rabbi has ruled that spitting gum on a
> sidewalk or hiding it under a desk is a violation of Halacha
> or Jewish law, the Yediot Ahronot newspaper reported Thursday.
>
> "Gum cannot be thrown where others are liable to be disgusted
> by it," said Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu, the rabbi of the holy city
> of Safed.
>
> Improperly discarded gum may appear to be hidden, but "God
> knows" where it is, Eliyahu said, according to the newspaper.
>
> Swallowing the gum is a better solution, the rabbi said,
> though he criticized the use of chewing gum in general.
>
> "Chewing gum is the practice of lower forms of life. It
> expresses inner tension and lack of control. People with
> self-respect do not chew gum except on special occasions
> because of special circumstances," he said.
Lower forms of life. Now where have I heard THAT before?
This rabbi is completely out of touch with modern science.
Chewing gum is not only beneficial to the body:
tinyurl.com/4v5n7
but it's also good for the mind:
http://tinyurl.com/6dxrl
And what's up with the discarding problem? Don't Israelis carry
tissue? You wrap your gum in it, and throw it away later. You're able
to remember to do that because chewing gum helps your memory.
Christ, I'd be embarrassed to call myself a rabbi without doing a
goggle search before opening my stupid mouth. I'm sure he's got an
inbox full of new information to ponder by now, that is if he even HAS
an inbox. Maybe email is bad too? Fucking moron.
pb
Correspondent:: "just john"
Date: 20 Feb 2005 11:50:44 -0800
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I have never NOT swallowed chewing gum. It didn't even have to say it
loved me.