Correspondent:: "Weird Harold" Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 18:55:26 GMT
--------
In message <92hit0lo9ok35nn78cofj8j6mhv9af553s@4ax.com> on alt.cats "Jeanie"
wrote:
We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains, so
they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the hammering
broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could thaw
in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure makes
my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated before
we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died. 2
on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the garage
and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose down
their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
Is there any other way to force water in them?
Jeanie
Correspondent:: "Filed Film" Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 19:38:17 GMT
--------
x-no-archive: yes
Try this: Get down on all fours and start lapping up some of the mixture out
of their bowl your own self.
The cats will see you and want some for them.
You might want to sew on a tail and meow at them a couple of times before
giving it a shot.
Yep, yep. That outter work.
"Weird Harold" wrote in message
news:yiVEd.724$8Z1.1@newssvr14.news.prodigy.com...
| In message <92hit0lo9ok35nn78cofj8j6mhv9af553s@4ax.com> on alt.cats
"Jeanie"
| wrote:
|
| We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
| yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
| right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
| out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains,
so
| they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
| having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
| out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the
hammering
| broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could
thaw
| in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
| problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
| husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
| added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure
makes
| my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated
before
| we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died.
2
| on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
| should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
| There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
| they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the
garage
| and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
| called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose
down
| their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
| he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
| Is there any other way to force water in them?
|
| Jeanie
|
|
Correspondent:: reflex Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 14:45:45 -0500
--------
In article ,
"Weird Harold" wrote:
> There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
> they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the garage
> and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
> called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose down
> their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
> he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
> Is there any other way to force water in them?
please post naked pics of yourself
--
Goodbye, Blackie Lamb, sorry you had to grow up--we'll miss you.
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 19:51:32 GMT
--------
"Weird Harold" wrote:
>In message <92hit0lo9ok35nn78cofj8j6mhv9af553s@4ax.com> on alt.cats "Jeanie"
>wrote:
>
>We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
>yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
>right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
>out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains, so
>they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
>having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
>out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the hammering
>broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could thaw
>in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
>problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
>husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
>added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure makes
>my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated before
>we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died. 2
>on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
>should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
>There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
>they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the garage
>and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
>called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose down
>their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
>he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
>Is there any other way to force water in them?
>
>Jeanie
>
>
I think these cats must have hydrophobia from being bitten by
a rabid racoon or maybe a possum. Sometimes these foamy mouthed kitties
can get enough mouse moisture from eating mice that they can survive
for months until the Spring thaw so that they don't need to drink any water
but if they do not drink water when they have the chance it might be because
they have have hydrophobia from the rabid racoons and possums or they just
don't like the chlorine in the water and maybe want Perrier or Evian. One sure
sign that the kitties have rabid hydrophobia is when they stop using the kitty litter
altogether and just go when they feel like it and stop drinking water except when
you are not actually looking at them. Racoon hydrophobia kitties get very sneaky
and hide and then pounce out all over the place pretending that they are usefully
catching mice when there is nothing there but dustballs and lint from the laundromat
down the street.
Correspondent:: "notritenoteri" Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 16:15:47 -0500
--------
yah put the hose up your ass, turn the water on and stand there and pass
water continuously like the stunned cunt you really are.
"Weird Harold" wrote in message
news:yiVEd.724$8Z1.1@newssvr14.news.prodigy.com...
> In message <92hit0lo9ok35nn78cofj8j6mhv9af553s@4ax.com> on alt.cats
"Jeanie"
> wrote:
>
> We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
> yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
> right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
> out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains,
so
> they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
> having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
> out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the
hammering
> broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could
thaw
> in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
> problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
> husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
> added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure
makes
> my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated
before
> we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died.
2
> on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
> should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
> There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
> they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the
garage
> and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
> called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose
down
> their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
> he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
> Is there any other way to force water in them?
>
> Jeanie
>
>
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 16:20:01 -0700
--------
Weird Harold wrote:
>
> "Jeanie" wrote:
>
> We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
> yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
> right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
> out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains, so
> they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
> having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
> out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the hammering
> broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could thaw
> in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
> problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
> husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
> added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure makes
> my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated before
> we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died. 2
> on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
> should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
> There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
> they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the garage
> and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
> called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose down
> their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
> he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
> Is there any other way to force water in them?
>
> Jeanie
Base: All Your Cats Are Belong To Us!
--
"We've pretty much just been patrolling
and flying helicopters all over the place,
and when we see something bad, we blow it up."
-- Maj. David Holahan, US Marines
Correspondent:: fungus Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 00:41:36 +0100
--------
Weird Harold wrote:
>Last week my husband finally went to the autoparts
> store and bought some antifreeze.
Bullshit alert!
Cats *hate* the taste of antifreeze - it's dogs which go
for antifreeze like Unix sysadmins go for Mountain Dew.
Are you sure they aren't dogs out there in your yard...?
--
fungus
"Imagine watching the entire French Air Force crash into
a firework factory, that's how much fun this is..." J.C.
Correspondent:: "angelicusrex" Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 20:01:24 -0700
--------
You idiot! Antifreeze kills cats and dogs!!! Let them lick the ice, or
better yet give them food. Food is where animals get ninety percent of their
water.
Archimadrite Pudlevitcz
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 19:36:45 -0800
--------
On Tue, 11 Jan 2005 18:55:26 GMT, "Weird Harold"
wrote:
>In message <92hit0lo9ok35nn78cofj8j6mhv9af553s@4ax.com> on alt.cats "Jeanie"
>wrote:
>
>We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
>yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
>right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
>out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains, so
>they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
>having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
>out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the hammering
>broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could thaw
>in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
>problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
>husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
>added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure makes
>my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated before
>we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died. 2
>on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
>should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
>There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
>they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the garage
>and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
>called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose down
>their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
>he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
>Is there any other way to force water in them?
>
>Jeanie
>
They are not dead, they are doing ESP. They appear dead when they do
this because they lock into a deep trance. They are gaining control
of you. Cats love antifreeze and the first thing ESP cats do is to
get you to feed them more of it. Next you will find yourself finding
little excuses to feed them more expensive, nicer food; fresh shrimp,
live mice. It gets expensive. You don't think cats are capable of
this, but I'm telling you they are. Your mistake was letting too many
of them get together. They are jerking you around like a puppet on a
string now. There's not a damn thing you can do about it. Your only
possible hope, if you have a firearm in the house, is to blow not only
them (the "dead" ones FIRST) to kingdom come, and every house in a
mile radius while you're at it, once the web starts to spread there is
no telling how far it has gone.
Most likely though they will just make you turn the gun on yourself.
They can get a new provider much easier than you can get a new brain.
God be with you, you poor fucking fool. You've blown it now.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
The time flies faster backwards
- Three times
Correspondent:: Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 23:23:06 -0500
--------
Weird Harold wrote:
> Is there any other way to force water in them?
Try harder. A cinderblock firmly anchored to one of the animal's
appendages, then knocked into a deep body of water comes to mind.
Correspondent:: shag Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 23:43:55 -0500
--------
In article ,
weirdlinks@sbcglobal.net says...
> In message <92hit0lo9ok35nn78cofj8j6mhv9af553s@4ax.com> on alt.cats "Jeanie"
> wrote:
>
> We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
> yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
> right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
> out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains, so
> they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
> having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
> out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the hammering
> broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could thaw
> in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
> problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
> husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
> added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure makes
> my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated before
> we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died. 2
> on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
> should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
> There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
> they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the garage
> and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
> called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose down
> their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
> he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
> Is there any other way to force water in them?
Cats don't like being forced to do things, so what you have to do is tie
their paws together with duct tape. Then get some water and a funnel,
hold the kitty on his back between your legs, put the funnel in his
mouth (which will already be open with loud meowing noises emanating
from it), and pour the water in. The cat is going to struggle and make
terrible noises, but that's just belligerence, so feel free to ignore
it.
Correspondent:: "David Taylor" Date: 12 Jan 2005 00:43:26 -0800
--------
Propylene Glycol (anti freeze) though it tastes very sweet, is deadly
toxic.
Try putting a warmer under the bowl. a simple lightbulb can sometimes
be enough, or a string of Xmas lights in a ball under it.
Correspondent:: "Giles" Date: 12 Jan 2005 15:34:21 -0800
--------
David Taylor wrote:
> Propylene Glycol (anti freeze) though it tastes very sweet, is deadly
> toxic.
> Try putting a warmer under the bowl. a simple lightbulb can sometimes
> be enough, or a string of Xmas lights in a ball under it.
Drop a toaster in the bowl.
Correspondent:: fungus Date: Thu, 13 Jan 2005 01:04:29 +0100
--------
David Taylor wrote:
>
>Try putting a warmer under the bowl. a simple lightbulb can sometimes
>be enough, or a string of Xmas lights in a ball under it.
>
Remove the glass panel from a microwave oven
door. Place the water dish inside the oven
and leave it running on low power.
--
fungus
"Imagine watching the entire French Air Force crash into
a firework factory, that's how much fun this is..." J.C.
Correspondent:: Justme® Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 07:15:20 -0500
--------
In article ,
weirdlinks@sbcglobal.net says...
> In message <92hit0lo9ok35nn78cofj8j6mhv9af553s@4ax.com> on alt.cats "Jeanie"
> wrote:
>
> We recently had a very cold spell and the outdoor cats were pawing an
> yelling because everytime I gave them a bowl of water it would freeze up
> right away. If they had any brains they would drink it when I first put it
> out and not wait till later. However, cats never seem to have any brains, so
> they always make more work and expense for us owners. I got real sick of
> having frozen water in their bowl and having to get my husband to smash it
> out with a hammer. I finally had to buy a new bowl because all the hammering
> broke it. While at it, I bought a second bowl, so the frozen one could thaw
> in the sink and not need to be hammered. Of course that did not solve the
> problem with the cats waiting until it froze to want a drink. Last week my
> husband finally went to the autoparts store and bought some antifreeze. He
> added some of it to the water and now the water dont freeze. That sure makes
> my job easier. The only problem is that the cats must have dehidrated before
> we used the antifreeze and now the cats are dying. So far 5 of them died. 2
> on Sat. 1 on Sun, and another is dead this morning. I feel bad, but they
> should have drank when we gave them the water, not waited untill it froze.
> There are only 3 cats left. Is there a way to force some water in them so
> they dont dehidrate any more. My husband said he can take them in the garage
> and pump them full of water with a power washer (I think thats what he
> called it), but he is afraid he will get clawed when he sticks the hose down
> their throat. He's pretty good with tools and can fix almost anything, but
> he is afraid of the cats. Thats why they are my job.
> Is there any other way to force water in them?
>
> Jeanie
>
>
>
Forcing water into their lil' mouths is a bad idea; you might
accidentally drown them.
Don't despair, though--water can be absorbed through the intestine;
therefore, try giving the kitties an enema.
This would be messy--what goes in must come out, after all--so I suggest
gently taping Kitty to it's litterbox first. Set the liltterbox in the
bath tub, then use one of those enema hoses that attach to your water
spigot. Gently insert the hose, and turn on the water.
The cat's not going to like this and will make noise--so after turning
on the water, I suggest leaving the bathroom. Go have a smoke or
something.
When you come back, Kitty will be well hydrated.
--
--Ginny
"Die Screaming"
--Jonathan Blaque
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 13:54:51 GMT
--------
In article ,
Justme® wrote:
> Don't despair, though--water can be absorbed through the intestine;
> therefore, try giving the kitties an enema.
> This would be messy--what goes in must come out, after all--so I suggest
> gently taping Kitty to it's litterbox first. Set the liltterbox in the
> bath tub, then use one of those enema hoses that attach to your water
> spigot. Gently insert the hose, and turn on the water.
Set the video camera to rolling first, really crank up the pressure and
send the tape to "America's Funniest Mental Illnesses." Double points if
the box shoots cross the room. If you win, you get $10,000 with which to
buy a lot more cats.
--
HellPope Huey
The C.H.U.D.s used to stick to the sewers;
now they're at the damned malls
At some point in time,
you will come to the realization
that almost everybody is making
Howard Dean sounds.
- Revi Shankar
"Nietsche is Pietsche."
- Ogden Nash
Correspondent:: Doug McDonald Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 13:14:59 -0600
--------
This was not properly cross-posted.
I have reposted it to a rec.cats.* group.
The results may be seen there. There are
likely not going to be pretty, though I
explictly labelled it a troll.
Enjoy.
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 19:46:43 GMT
--------
Doug McDonald wrote:
>This was not properly cross-posted.
>
>I have reposted it to a rec.cats.* group.
>
>The results may be seen there. There are
>likely not going to be pretty, though I
>explictly labelled it a troll.
>
>Enjoy.
>
Dehydrated cats have long been traditional fare at Norweenie Festivals
served with bacon grease and lefse, and lefse and lingonberries.
And plenty akavit!
Ja, sure.
Uf da!
Correspondent:: A. J. Moss Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 20:31:15 +0000
--------
Doug McDonald wrote:
>This was not properly cross-posted.
>
>I have reposted it to a rec.cats.* group.
>
>The results may be seen there. There are
>likely not going to be pretty, though I
>explictly labelled it a troll.
>
>Enjoy.
Yay! It's sootikin and choad, all over again.
--
"We're a pair o' wankers." -- Gino Corr