Correspondent:: Unclaimed Mysteries Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 16:08:49 GMT
--------
The first in a sporadic series of comparisons with a major competitor.
Readers aurged to contribute their own knowledge, insights and vital
organs to this thread.
Q. Why doesn't the Church of the Subgenius offer a free personality test
like the Sc1ent0l0g1sts?
A. Your personality is not the problem. If such a test existed, it would
simply be a single-question, true/false quiz. $30 either way.
Of course I went to law school. - Warren Zevon, "Mr. Bad Example"
Correspondent:: "Rev. Richard Skull" Date: 31 Jan 2005 08:34:03 -0800
--------
<
test
like the Sc1ent0l0g1sts?
A. Your personality is not the problem. If such a test exist?d, it
would
simply be a single-question, true/false quiz. $30 either way?<
The test would be a flat stone with "Turn Me Over" on both sides. If
you sit there more then four hours turning the stone over, then you
might qualify as a SubGenius.
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 16:56:11 GMT
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
><
>test
>like the Sc1ent0l0g1sts?
>
>
>A. Your personality is not the problem. If such a test existed, it
>would
>simply be a single-question, true/false quiz. $30 either way<<
>
>The test would be a flat stone with "Turn Me Over" on both sides. If
>you sit there more then four hours turning the stone over, then you
>might qualify as a SubGenius.
>
I thought that if it lasted for more than four hours,
you were supposed to call your doctor!
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 17:25:09 GMT
--------
In article <1107189243.130684.246980@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> <
> test like the Sc1ent0l0g1sts?
> >
> A. Your personality is not the problem. If such a test existÂed, it
> would simply be a single-question, true/false quiz. $30 either wayÂ<<
>
> The test would be a flat stone with "Turn Me Over" on both sides. If
> you sit there more then four hours turning the stone over, then you
> might qualify as a SubGenius.
If you turn the rock over just once and then hurl it at the head of the
test-giver, you get to move up to the lightning round right away.
--
HellPope Huey
The dividing line between filth and a good laugh
is only as wide
as your misplaced potential for outrage
I will lift mine eyes unto the pills.
Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin
to the multi-coloured, king-sized, three deckers,
which put you to sleep, wake you up,
stimulate and soothe you all in one.
It is an age of pills.
- Malcolm Muggeridge (1903-1989)
For every prohibition you create you,
also create an underground.
- Jello Biafra
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 16:41:59 GMT
--------
Unclaimed Mysteries wrote:
>The first in a sporadic series of comparisons with a major competitor.
>Readers aurged to contribute their own knowledge, insights and vital
>organs to this thread.
>
>Q. Why doesn't the Church of the Subgenius offer a free personality test
>like the Sc1ent0l0g1sts?
>
>A. Your personality is not the problem. If such a test existed, it would
>simply be a single-question, true/false quiz. $30 either way.
>
>
>
>--
I was 99% certain that you'd mention the Sceinos from the
"clear the planets" part--a lingering engram, no doubt!
Correspondent:: Zapanaz Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 09:38:24 -0800
--------
On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 16:08:49 GMT, Unclaimed Mysteries
wrote:
>The first in a sporadic series of comparisons with a major competitor.
>Readers aurged to contribute their own knowledge, insights and vital
>organs to this thread.
>
>Q. Why doesn't the Church of the Subgenius offer a free personality test
>like the Sc1ent0l0g1sts?
>
>A. Your personality is not the problem. If such a test existed, it would
>simply be a single-question, true/false quiz. $30 either way.
I was thinking of fleshing it out a little and printing it up to look
like the Scientology one and leaving it laying around places.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
No human progress is possible as long as stupid people
refuse to accept that smart people know more than they do.
- Revi Shankar
Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang" Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 17:02:52 -0500
--------
EARTH FIRST
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino" Date: 31 Jan 2005 17:15:01 -0800
--------
Here's the only test that we need in the Church of the SubGenius:
(Be sure to use a #2 pencil and fill in the dots completely. If you
just put a checkmark or a slash through the dot, you're a dumbfuck.)
1.) Do you have thirty dollars?
() Yes
() No
2.) Can we have thirty dollars?
() Yes
() No
If you've answered "no" to any of the above questions, you're not what
we're looking for. SImple as that.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Tue, 01 Feb 2005 03:29:26 GMT
--------
In article <1107220501.031340.262550@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
"Paul Casino" wrote:
> Here's the only test that we need in the Church of the SubGenius:
>
> (Be sure to use a #2 pencil and fill in the dots completely. If you
> just put a checkmark or a slash through the dot, you're a dumbfuck.)
>
> 1.) Do you have thirty dollars?
>
> () Yes
> () No
Yes, but only in Canadian pennies.
> 2.) Can we have thirty dollars?
>
> () Yes
> () No
Only if you will come in a truck and get it. Meet me halfway or fuck
you.
--
HellPope Huey
The dividing line between filth and a good laugh
is only as wide
as your misplaced potential for outrage
I will lift mine eyes unto the pills.
Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin
to the multi-coloured, king-sized, three deckers,
which put you to sleep, wake you up,
stimulate and soothe you all in one.
It is an age of pills.
- Malcolm Muggeridge (1903-1989)
For every prohibition you create,
you also create an underground.
- Jello Biafra
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino" Date: 1 Feb 2005 19:30:43 -0800
--------
Or we could always join forces and rig up an elaborate "ewok"-style
catapault using some sticks and our own by-products and launch them
worthless little fuckers at The Slackermansion. That'd be a sight to
see, Stang and Wei running for cover while hundreds of copper-alloy
projectiles traveling at high speeds break every window in the house.
Huey could start screaming "THERE'S *MY* $30, YA FUCK!", while I would
be busy concocting new ways to belittle him because he is bald. And
there would be fine cigars and martinis (VERY DRY) all around. Ah, la
dolche vita.
On a related note, I fucking hate Canadian pennies. I don't even like
American pennies weighing my pockets down with their uselessness, let
alone ones that I can't even spend. I damn near attacked a cashier at
Wal-Mart the other day because I had exactly enough loose change to get
a pack of smokes without breaking a twenty, but nooOOoo, somehow a
Canadian dime slipped in there and she wouldn't accept it. So, in
conclusion, that's why I think the United States should go to war with
Canada. What the hell else are you gonna do with your oh so precious
time? Enlist now!
Correspondent:: Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant Date: Wed, 02 Feb 2005 06:48:17 -0500
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Paul Casino wrote:
> Or we could always join forces and rig up an elaborate "ewok"-style
> catapault using some sticks and our own by-products and launch them
> worthless little fuckers at The Slackermansion. That'd be a sight to
> see, Stang and Wei running for cover while hundreds of copper-alloy
> projectiles traveling at high speeds break every window in the house.
> Huey could start screaming "THERE'S *MY* $30, YA FUCK!", while I would
> be busy concocting new ways to belittle him because he is bald. And
> there would be fine cigars and martinis (VERY DRY) all around. Ah, la
> dolche vita.
>
> On a related note, I fucking hate Canadian pennies. I don't even like
> American pennies weighing my pockets down with their uselessness, let
> alone ones that I can't even spend. I damn near attacked a cashier at
> Wal-Mart the other day because I had exactly enough loose change to get
> a pack of smokes without breaking a twenty, but nooOOoo, somehow a
> Canadian dime slipped in there and she wouldn't accept it. So, in
> conclusion, that's why I think the United States should go to war with
> Canada. What the hell else are you gonna do with your oh so precious
> time? Enlist now!
>
Where the fuck do you live in 'merka that you can't spend canajian
pennies? Canadian coinage is on par with 'merkin change here in
Detroit. I don't even get funny looks if I give up a Canajian quarter
or two.
Correspondent:: "«BONEHEAD>>" Date: Wed, 02 Feb 2005 14:46:11 GMT
--------
"Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant" wrote in
message news:o8r6d2-4dn.ln1@news.rrclark.net...
> Paul Casino wrote:
> > Or we could always join forces and rig up an elaborate "ewok"-style
> > catapault using some sticks and our own by-products and launch them
> > worthless little fuckers at The Slackermansion. That'd be a sight to
> > see, Stang and Wei running for cover while hundreds of copper-alloy
> > projectiles traveling at high speeds break every window in the house.
> > Huey could start screaming "THERE'S *MY* $30, YA FUCK!", while I would
> > be busy concocting new ways to belittle him because he is bald. And
> > there would be fine cigars and martinis (VERY DRY) all around. Ah, la
> > dolche vita.
> >
> > On a related note, I fucking hate Canadian pennies. I don't even like
> > American pennies weighing my pockets down with their uselessness, let
> > alone ones that I can't even spend. I damn near attacked a cashier at
> > Wal-Mart the other day because I had exactly enough loose change to get
> > a pack of smokes without breaking a twenty, but nooOOoo, somehow a
> > Canadian dime slipped in there and she wouldn't accept it. So, in
> > conclusion, that's why I think the United States should go to war with
> > Canada. What the hell else are you gonna do with your oh so precious
> > time? Enlist now!
> >
>
> Where the fuck do you live in 'merka that you can't spend canajian
> pennies? Canadian coinage is on par with 'merkin change here in
> Detroit. I don't even get funny looks if I give up a Canajian quarter
> or two.
Ever since Canadia tried to invade South Park Colorada, there have
been strict regulations imposed....
The only thing allowed over the border is beer...
--
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." Albert Einstein
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino" Date: 2 Feb 2005 15:34:30 -0800
--------
I remember a time in this country when I could make a comment about
invading Canada and no one would bring up the South Park movie. That
was cool, for a while there.
Correspondent:: Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant Date: Wed, 02 Feb 2005 20:35:52 -0500
--------
Paul Casino wrote:
> I remember a time in this country when I could make a comment about
> invading Canada and no one would bring up the South Park movie. That
> was cool, for a while there.
>
Canada is just the US, only with a major time control problem... They're
about a decade in the past from my recollection of my last trip there...
Correspondent:: Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant Date: Wed, 02 Feb 2005 20:32:17 -0500
--------
«BONEHEAD>> wrote:
> "Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant" wrote in
> message news:o8r6d2-4dn.ln1@news.rrclark.net...
>
>>Paul Casino wrote:
>>
>>>Or we could always join forces and rig up an elaborate "ewok"-style
>>>catapault using some sticks and our own by-products and launch them
>>>worthless little fuckers at The Slackermansion. That'd be a sight to
>>>see, Stang and Wei running for cover while hundreds of copper-alloy
>>>projectiles traveling at high speeds break every window in the house.
>>>Huey could start screaming "THERE'S *MY* $30, YA FUCK!", while I would
>>>be busy concocting new ways to belittle him because he is bald. And
>>>there would be fine cigars and martinis (VERY DRY) all around. Ah, la
>>>dolche vita.
>>>
>>>On a related note, I fucking hate Canadian pennies. I don't even like
>>>American pennies weighing my pockets down with their uselessness, let
>>>alone ones that I can't even spend. I damn near attacked a cashier at
>>>Wal-Mart the other day because I had exactly enough loose change to get
>>>a pack of smokes without breaking a twenty, but nooOOoo, somehow a
>>>Canadian dime slipped in there and she wouldn't accept it. So, in
>>>conclusion, that's why I think the United States should go to war with
>>>Canada. What the hell else are you gonna do with your oh so precious
>>>time? Enlist now!
>>>
>>
>>Where the fuck do you live in 'merka that you can't spend canajian
>>pennies? Canadian coinage is on par with 'merkin change here in
>>Detroit. I don't even get funny looks if I give up a Canajian quarter
>>or two.
>
>
> Ever since Canadia tried to invade South Park Colorada, there have
> been strict regulations imposed....
> The only thing allowed over the border is beer...
>
Depends on your definition of beer.
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod" Date: Thu, 03 Feb 2005 11:02:49 GMT
--------
"Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant" wrote in
message news:6ib8d2-67q.ln1@news.rrclark.net...
> «BONEHEAD>> wrote:
> > "Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant" wrote
in
> > message news:o8r6d2-4dn.ln1@news.rrclark.net...
> >
> >>Paul Casino wrote:
> >>
> >>>Or we could always join forces and rig up an elaborate "ewok"-style
> >>>catapault using some sticks and our own by-products and launch them
> >>>worthless little fuckers at The Slackermansion. That'd be a sight
to
> >>>see, Stang and Wei running for cover while hundreds of copper-alloy
> >>>projectiles traveling at high speeds break every window in the
house.
> >>>Huey could start screaming "THERE'S *MY* $30, YA FUCK!", while I
would
> >>>be busy concocting new ways to belittle him because he is bald. And
> >>>there would be fine cigars and martinis (VERY DRY) all around. Ah,
la
> >>>dolche vita.
> >>>
> >>>On a related note, I fucking hate Canadian pennies. I don't even
like
> >>>American pennies weighing my pockets down with their uselessness,
let
> >>>alone ones that I can't even spend. I damn near attacked a cashier
at
> >>>Wal-Mart the other day because I had exactly enough loose change to
get
> >>>a pack of smokes without breaking a twenty, but nooOOoo, somehow a
> >>>Canadian dime slipped in there and she wouldn't accept it. So, in
> >>>conclusion, that's why I think the United States should go to war
with
> >>>Canada. What the hell else are you gonna do with your oh so
precious
> >>>time? Enlist now!
> >>>
> >>
> >>Where the fuck do you live in 'merka that you can't spend canajian
> >>pennies? Canadian coinage is on par with 'merkin change here in
> >>Detroit. I don't even get funny looks if I give up a Canajian
quarter
> >>or two.
> >
> >
> > Ever since Canadia tried to invade South Park Colorada, there have
> > been strict regulations imposed....
> > The only thing allowed over the border is beer...
> >
>
> Depends on your definition of beer.
Obviously it's not meant to be taken literally. It means all makers of
Ale-like products.