Conspircay Theory - Chicken capital and World domination
Correspondent:: "James"
Date: 1 Jan 2005 09:51:34 -0800
--------
You may have not noticed my post regarding Lynerd Synerd and Chicken,
if not, please read that first and come back to this.
In the U.S. within the past couple days, a Milary-grade laser is
possibly missing around Ohio somewhere. It had grounded several planes
by shining green laser light in the cockpits, forcing them to emergency
land. Most lasers that would have that intensity were not aiming for
the plane, but above it.
KFC is trying to advertise themselves as "Chicken Capital USA". Now,
as the earlier post showed, results from the CIA World Factbook showed
that several countries, close to one on each continent (minus deadbeat
Antarctica) produces poultry as a domestic product. Some countries
producing poultry as domestic product are close to or bordering on the
Indian Ocean. What better way to get rid of competition by natural (or
close to) disasters?
The theory is this: KFwhatever has somehow gained access to a military
grade laser and fires it past planes into space, hitting a targeted
body of mass in space. It (as predicted and projected) falls through
the atmosphere, dropping into the Indian Ocean like the fat chick doing
a cannonball in Shallow Hal. It creates a 20-30' Tsunami wave (one of
which holds a sailboat on top momentarily, as the captain of that
vessel would inevitably yell at his wife, er, first mate "Batton down
the hatches!!") on several shores and will eventually go back, as water
ripples back and forth, to get rid of the other competition, i.e.
Australia.
Still in progress on this research.
James
Correspondent:: "James"
Date: 1 Jan 2005 10:04:57 -0800
--------
James wrote:
> You may have not noticed my post regarding Lynerd Skynerd and
Chicken,
> if not, please read that first and come back to this.
>
> In the U.S. within the past couple days, a Military-grade laser is
> possibly missing around Ohio somewhere. It had grounded several
planes
> by shining green laser light in the cockpits, forcing them to
emergency
> land. Most lasers that would have that intensity were not aiming for
> the plane, but above it.
>
> KFC is trying to advertise themselves as "Chicken Capital USA". Now,
> as the earlier post showed, results from the CIA World Factbook
showed
> that several countries, close to one on each continent (minus
deadbeat
> Antarctica) produces poultry as a domestic product. Some countries
> producing poultry as domestic product are close to or bordering on
the
> Indian Ocean. What better way to get rid of competition by natural
(or
> close to) disasters?
>
> The theory is this: KFwhatever has somehow gained access to a
military
> grade laser and fires it past planes into space, hitting a targeted
> body of mass in space. It (as predicted and projected) falls through
> the atmosphere, dropping into the Indian Ocean like the fat chick
doing
> a cannonball in Shallow Hal. It creates a 20-30' Tsunami wave (one
of
> which holds a sailboat on top momentarily, as the captain of that
> vessel would inevitably yell at his wife, er, first mate "Batton down
> the hatches!!") on several shores and will eventually go back, as
water
> ripples back and forth, to get rid of the other competition, i.e.
> Australia.
>
> Still in progress on this research.
>
> James
Some more proof:
http://www.sunherald.com/mld/thesunherald/entertainment/4622662.htm
Correspondent:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2005 11:28:11 -0700
--------
#1. Laser light, even the green shit, cannot possibly move an asteroid off
its course or indeed make it drop from orbit (around what???) or we'd be
using the thing to get rid of all incoming asteroids. #2. You better have
more than a laser, like a lot of background in physics, telemetrics, rocket
science, that sort of thing, to point a laser at a rock in outerspace
traveling 15,000 to 35,000 miles per hour. #3. Firing chickens at
airplanes...that is about the airforce's speed these days. Couldn't just be
a bag full of wet sand. No, they have to be sadists about it...Sounds like
one of Bush's ideas. But now will our chicken be outsourced to South East
Asia as well, in order to bring "Democracy and Freedom" to those insurgent
countries? Damn, can't even be a chicken pluckin' poultry farmer in America
anymore! We'll have to start breeding homosexual goats and cows we can
slaughter in the name of scientific (AKA Creationist Scientific) knowledge
just to keep up!
Archimandrite Pudlevitcz
Correspondent:: "James"
Date: 1 Jan 2005 10:34:25 -0800
--------
#1 You've never seen the game Asteroids?
#2 Well, I am trying to find out if a ICBM went missing toward outer
space.
Well, chickens could be quite effective, it's just a shame they have to
use real chickens and not rubber chickens to fire off at planes. Well,
many countries do have cattle, sheep, goats, etc. It may be possible
that once we hold all the chickens, we'll increase import/export
operations to get more steak, gyros, um ..goat cheese.
Great Scott -- I never thought about that as an angle of the conspiracy
plot .. hell, we wasted all that technology when we could have just
traded all the other countries breeder chicken with gay cloned chickens.
Correspondent:: "James"
Date: 1 Jan 2005 11:08:10 -0800
--------
So what would it take to get this theory to be plausible? hundreds of
floating relectors in orbit for the laser to bounce off of after each
blow to a body of mass in space? (Mind you, I am no scientist, nor
really mad, just ticked off at the KFC slogan pronouncing the USA as
the Chicken Capital of the world)
How about if the mass starts falling after a good blow by a laser into
a floating vessel of fuel? Eventually it would have to be a particular
chipped-away metorite large enough to dro dead center and create a wave
structure that immense.
Or it could just be like the coastal storms we get near the Florida and
Gulf area of the United States. Sad, somewhat effective, and over in a
matter of days. Or maybe a juju-man said the wronf incantation and
pissed off mother nature. Or Bob for being such an incompetent heathen.
Correspondent:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2005 16:32:22 -0700
--------
"James" wrote in message
news:1104606490.681194.64100@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> So what would it take to get this theory to be plausible? hundreds of
> floating relectors in orbit for the laser to bounce off of after each
> blow to a body of mass in space?
My friend, your theory constitutes aiming spit balls from a paper straw at a
piece of rock and iron the size of a large sky scraper going much faster
than you can think!
(Mind you, I am no scientist, nor
> really mad, just ticked off at the KFC slogan pronouncing the USA as
> the Chicken Capital of the world)
Well at least were not the Chicken Capitol of the Universe yet.
>
> How about if the mass starts falling after a good blow by a laser into
> a floating vessel of fuel?
Not even a possibility. You would need several hydrogen bombs.
> Eventually it would have to be a particular
> chipped-away metorite large enough to dro dead center and create a wave
> structure that immense.
Like cutting up a raw water buffalo with a wet toothpick!
>
> Or it could just be like the coastal storms we get near the Florida and
> Gulf area of the United States. Sad, somewhat effective, and over in a
> matter of days. Or maybe a juju-man said the wronf incantation and
> pissed off mother nature. Or Bob for being such an incompetent heathen.
Or maybe shit just happens. You know, like the Himalayas or the Rockies.
Plates just slam into one another and everyone loses.
But it could be X-Day aliens who are trying to finally get our attention now
that we have all become so immune to apocalypses. All they would need to use
is some sort of rare pulse/plasma weapon from space. Wouldn't even know what
hit us!
Archimandrite Pudlevitcz
Correspondent:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2005 11:19:16 -0700
--------
I see, yes. Very interesting. Decimate the entire population of innocent bar
hops and bellboys and foreign tourists around the costal areas of Indonesia
and Sri Lanka, just to kill a few chickens. This is because KFC couldn't get
a good buy on vials of bird flu this year, is that it?
Archimandrite Pudlevitcz
"James" wrote in message
news:1104601894.146555.246970@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> You may have not noticed my post regarding Lynerd Synerd and Chicken,
> if not, please read that first and come back to this.
>
> In the U.S. within the past couple days, a Milary-grade laser is
> possibly missing around Ohio somewhere. It had grounded several planes
> by shining green laser light in the cockpits, forcing them to emergency
> land. Most lasers that would have that intensity were not aiming for
> the plane, but above it.
>
> KFC is trying to advertise themselves as "Chicken Capital USA". Now,
> as the earlier post showed, results from the CIA World Factbook showed
> that several countries, close to one on each continent (minus deadbeat
> Antarctica) produces poultry as a domestic product. Some countries
> producing poultry as domestic product are close to or bordering on the
> Indian Ocean. What better way to get rid of competition by natural (or
> close to) disasters?
>
> The theory is this: KFwhatever has somehow gained access to a military
> grade laser and fires it past planes into space, hitting a targeted
> body of mass in space. It (as predicted and projected) falls through
> the atmosphere, dropping into the Indian Ocean like the fat chick doing
> a cannonball in Shallow Hal. It creates a 20-30' Tsunami wave (one of
> which holds a sailboat on top momentarily, as the captain of that
> vessel would inevitably yell at his wife, er, first mate "Batton down
> the hatches!!") on several shores and will eventually go back, as water
> ripples back and forth, to get rid of the other competition, i.e.
> Australia.
>
> Still in progress on this research.
>
> James
>
Correspondent:: "James"
Date: 1 Jan 2005 10:36:04 -0800
--------
Well, what can I say .. war is hell, and you have to break a few eggs
to make an omelette. A lot more humane than dropping napalm on them.
Plus, they'll be okay. This is the kind of event that triggers a five
year economic boost for all the countries, and hell, when could such an
event like that occur again?
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2005 15:07:50 -0800
--------
James wrote:
>
> In the U.S. within the past couple days, a Milary-grade laser is
> possibly missing around Ohio somewhere. It had grounded several planes
> by shining green laser light in the cockpits, forcing them to emergency
> land. Most lasers that would have that intensity were not aiming for
> the plane, but above it.
I saw a news broadcast claiming five different sites nationwide under
investigation for such incidents including Cleveland OH and Medford Oregon.
Correspondent:: "Revi Shankar"
Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2005 20:06:58 -0500
--------
"nenslo" wrote in message
news:41D72D45.9283C1EA@yahoox.com...
> James wrote:
> >
> > In the U.S. within the past couple days, a Milary-grade laser is
> > possibly missing around Ohio somewhere. It had grounded several planes
> > by shining green laser light in the cockpits, forcing them to emergency
> > land. Most lasers that would have that intensity were not aiming for
> > the plane, but above it.
>
> I saw a news broadcast claiming five different sites nationwide under
> investigation for such incidents including Cleveland OH and Medford
Oregon.
I'll bet you see a lot of things.
Correspondent:: "the shininone"
Date: Sun, 2 Jan 2005 23:41:20 -0500
--------
"James" wrote in message
news:1104601894.146555.246970@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> You may have not noticed my post regarding Lynerd Synerd and Chicken,
> if not, please read that first and come back to this.
>
> In the U.S. within the past couple days, a Military-grade laser is
> possibly missing around Ohio somewhere. It had grounded several planes
> by shining green laser light in the cockpits, forcing them to emergency
> land. Most lasers that would have that intensity were not aiming for
> the plane, but above it.
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