I'm so thankful for ...
Correspondent:: "James"
Date: 1 Jan 2005 10:57:19 -0800
--------
for Jesus and Border's Hot Buttered Rum Coffee (Caffeinated) with
Half-n-Half, but not necessarily for Joseph Smith.
Has it ever been determined by anyone besides Mormons that the Morman
religion IS actually a transcontinental offshoot of Christianity? Or
did Joseph Smith give some guy something really, really great? And
then that guy took it upon himself to go found a religion?
And for that matter, how did the Subgenius word get spread?
I am actually asking this in a semi-sober manner because I enjoy
talking about religion as long as it doesn't involve mine.
Thanks,
James
Correspondent:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2005 16:46:39 -0700
--------
"James" wrote in message
news:1104605839.045105.241710@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
> Has it ever been determined by anyone besides Mormons that the Morman
> religion IS actually a transcontinental offshoot of Christianity?
Yes. It was determined the minute Joseph Smith told people CHRISTIANS and
CHRIST came from Israel to preach to American Indians, who were actually
JEWS. I don't think it can get much clearer than that. Actually the whole
"Indians are the lost tribes of Israel" thing was all the rage back in the
early 19th Century. Joe Smith just added a dollop of Pre-Socialist doctrine,
formed himself an angel cult, started making his own rules about how many
wives he could have and got himself some followers who were already pissed
off at the Puritan churches. Then proceeded to railroad and bamboozle
townships, companies and people from the Easter Seaboard into Illinois, and
out onto the Great Plains all the way to Utah and Nevada. Since they got
their first, because they were pushed there by people who hated them (for
good reason) they got rich first off what the West had to offer.
> Or
> did Joseph Smith give some guy something really, really great?
It was the Angel Moroni (LOVE that name! Moron-i! And everyone bought it!!!
Too bad no one told him all Hebrew Malachs {angels} end with the letters EL,
which is the name of God)... That told Joseph Smith what to write
down...(sort of a hat's off to Mohammed who also got his info from an
angel). Of course Joe was just out in the woods hallucinating on bad
mushrooms. Not one thing about Mormonism can be said to be true.
> And
> then that guy took it upon himself to go found a religion?
Joe Smith was the founding father of Mormonism.
> And for that matter, how did the Subgenius word get spread?
By Frop smoking yetis who made super cool pamphlets to compete with all the
ones the Jesus Freaks were doing in the late Seventies. Then they got some
press in Texas by saying they sacrificed dogs to Bob in sewers under Dallas
or some such weird thing. Now of course computers make our task of
converting the world far more easier. We can sit in our stained underwear,
surf porn one minute and build entire campaigns for Bob the next! That's
what I call SLACK!
>
> I am actually asking this in a semi-sober manner )Hiccup!)
> because I enjoy
> talking about religion as long as it doesn't involve mine.
> Thanks,
If you ain't a subgenius, what the fok are you doing around here, Jimbo?
Archimandrite Pudlevitcz
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 02 Jan 2005 00:57:07 GMT
--------
"angelicusrex" wrote:
>
>If you ain't a subgenius, what the fok are you doing around here, Jimbo?
>
>Archimandrite Pudlevitcz
>
>
I'm looking for my lost pair of gold-plated Mormon underwear!
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0704/mormonunderwear.html
Correspondent:: "James"
Date: 1 Jan 2005 20:17:11 -0800
--------
angelicusrex wrote:
> "James" wrote in message
> news:1104605839.045105.241710@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
>
> > Has it ever been determined by anyone besides Mormons that the
Morman
> > religion IS actually a transcontinental offshoot of Christianity?
>
> Yes. It was determined the minute Joseph Smith told people CHRISTIANS
and
> CHRIST came from Israel to preach to American Indians, who were
actually
> JEWS. I don't think it can get much clearer than that. Actually the
whole
> "Indians are the lost tribes of Israel" thing was all the rage back
in the
> early 19th Century. Joe Smith just added a dollop of Pre-Socialist
doctrine,
> formed himself an angel cult, started making his own rules about how
many
> wives he could have and got himself some followers who were already
pissed
> off at the Puritan churches. Then proceeded to railroad and bamboozle
> townships, companies and people from the Easter Seaboard into
Illinois, and
> out onto the Great Plains all the way to Utah and Nevada. Since they
got
> their first, because they were pushed there by people who hated them
(for
> good reason) they got rich first off what the West had to offer.
I can respect the idea of having multiple wives for a happy life not
landing you in jail, but all I can say after sitting in with Mormons on
the bible study and flipboard, coming from a Protestant background and
generally laid back and open minded, Slack is more coherent to me than
Joseph Smith. I hope I'm not going to hell for this.
> > Or
> > did Joseph Smith give some guy something really, really great?
>
> It was the Angel Moroni (LOVE that name! Moron-i! And everyone bought
it!!!
I have never thought of that this way.
> Too bad no one told him all Hebrew Malachs {angels} end with the
letters EL,
> which is the name of God)... That told Joseph Smith what to write
> down...(sort of a hat's off to Mohammed who also got his info from an
> angel). Of course Joe was just out in the woods hallucinating on bad
> mushrooms. Not one thing about Mormonism can be said to be true.
Okay, that can be respectable as well sometimes (Angelic encounters
while tripping).
> > And
> > then that guy took it upon himself to go found a religion?
>
> Joe Smith was the founding father of Mormonism.
>
>
> > And for that matter, how did the Subgenius word get spread?
>
> By Frop smoking yetis who made super cool pamphlets to compete with
all the
> ones the Jesus Freaks were doing in the late Seventies. Then they got
some
> press in Texas by saying they sacrificed dogs to Bob in sewers under
Dallas
> or some such weird thing. Now of course computers make our task of
> converting the world far more easier. We can sit in our stained
underwear,
> surf porn one minute and build entire campaigns for Bob the next!
That's
> what I call SLACK!
>
> >
> > I am actually asking this in a semi-sober manner )Hiccup!)
>
> > because I enjoy
> > talking about religion as long as it doesn't involve mine.
> > Thanks,
>
> If you ain't a subgenius, what the fok are you doing around here,
Jimbo?
>
> Archimandrite Pudlevitcz
A follow up answer to your last question is sort of along mine .. I'm
looking for metallic underwear that doesnt let succubi/incubi get
inside the sheild there. And tin foil doesn't cut it. But Gold or
Specular Hematite just might. And I was hoping that by asking you this
much about Mormonism, and since you know so much about it that I could
borrow the golden plates of Nephi for a day or two .. um to study them
.. wait, forget I said any of this.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2005 03:12:32 GMT
--------
In article <1104605839.045105.241710@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
"James" wrote:
> And for that matter, how did the Subgenius word get spread?
People just started grabbing it by the ankles and working it until the
noise drew a big enough crowd to fill the hat with dimes so Stang could
buy his first tape deck.
Irritate an oyster, get a pearl; overstimulate a disenfranchised strata
of pervertiratti with bulb horns and tit jokes, get a faux cult. Hey, it
worked for Christ.
--
HellPope Huey
Official Dobbs Geek Orthodox Ministurb
"This may be the year
when we finally come face to face with ourselves;
finally just lay back and say it --
that we are really just a nation
of 220 million used car salesmen
with all the money we need to buy guns
and no qualms at all
about killing anybody else in the world
who tries to make us uncomfortable."
- Hunter S. Thompson
"Seeing you in a hole in the ground
reminds me of this dream I keep having."
- "Father of the Pride"