Sex Bombs and Breath Bombs!
Correspondent:: "fiftyfive virgins"
Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 11:04:12 -0500
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http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=mg18524823.800&print=true
Pentagon reveals rejected chemical weapons
15 January 2005
THE Pentagon considered developing a host of
non-lethal chemical weapons that would disrupt
discipline and morale among enemy troops, newly
declassified documents reveal.
Most bizarre among the plans was one for the
development of an "aphrodisiac" chemical weapon
that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible
to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual
behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful
but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says.
Other ideas included chemical weapons that attract
swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats to troop
positions, making them uninhabitable. Another was
to develop a chemical that caused "severe and lasting
halitosis", making it easy to identify guerrillas trying to
blend in with civilians. There was also the idea of
making troops' skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight.
The proposals, from the US Air Force Wright
Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, date from 1994.
The lab sought Pentagon funding for research
into what it called "harassing, annoying and
'bad guy'-identifying chemicals". The plans
have been posted online by the Sunshine
Project, an organisation that exposes research
into chemical and biological weapons.
Spokesman Edward Hammond says it was
not known if the proposed $7.5 million,
six-year research plan was ever pursued.
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2005 10:42:05 -0700
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fiftyfive virgins wrote:
>
> Pentagon reveals rejected chemical weapons
Practically speaking, this is probably just a
list of the losers.
The obvious ones are something that causes
dysentery, the nemesis of soldiers since ancient
times.
Other stuff my be a chemical that increases the
flow of adrenaline, to inspire the enemy to either
"charge the guns" or, preferably, to run away.
Agents that effect the equilibrium, or attention
span, or cause other temporary visual or hearing
impairment, would be good.
Irritants can be very mild and yet utterly devastate
soldiers. There are large numbers of things that
cause skin rashes, and others that are close to
being "universal allergens".
If the enemy uses illegal drugs, provide them with
drugs that are far stronger than what they are
expecting.
And if properly done in combination, the enemy would
have an almost pavlovian response to the prospect of
future combat.
"I cannot fight. Fighting gives me an itchy whole
body rash while I shit myself and my head and hands
swell up. I get all dizzy and can't walk in a
straight line, much less shoot at something."
--
"I can imagine a LOT when it comes
to unimaginable power."
-- nu-monet
Correspondent:: nikolai kingsley
Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2005 10:49:23 +1100
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> If the enemy uses illegal drugs, provide them with
> drugs that are far stronger than what they are
> expecting.
"we went to spray 'em with LSD and suddenly a thousand hippie burn-outs
appeared on the horizon. they didn't stand a chance. the hippies, that is."
my plan: a huge holographic Old Guy in a Beard - a beard to shame even
Z.Z. Top, going on the theory that size matters - who will appear in the
sky and boom at them in surround sound, in Arabic, with a slightly
medieval accent "ALLAH COMMANDS YOU TO DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND BUY A COKE."
Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 15 Jan 2005 01:59:18 GMT
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Those guys need some new ideas. How about:
The Nude Bomb.
No, that was the old Maxwell Smart movie, wasn't it?
The Gay Bomb -- they already have that covered, eh?
The Ass Bomb. It makes everyone's ass burn, kind of like cheap tequila and
spicy tacos.
The Orgasm Bomb? Everyone will be rendered useless, writhing in orgasmic
ecstacy. . . ecstacy? already been done. Nevermind.
The Crazy Bomb? Forget it, if they're already crazy they'll probably enjoy the
stuff.
The Poo Bomb? It'll spray everyone down with e. coli! Oh, that was done, too.
The Fart Bomb? We can tell who we
bombed because they'll
smell like farts! Great idea.
Write it up and get it funded, boys, homeland
security depends on it. What? We already have
a Fart Bomb? Why didn't you announce it?
How can it be a deterrent if nobody knows about it?
Ah, you said "smart bomb". . . okay, yes, that
came after the Think Bomb, right? The Think Bomb
was too dangerous. It may have fallen into the wrong
hands. Yes, sir -- we don't want the darkies getting
their hands on that one. Or the rednecks, right, sir.
Good thinking, this sex bomb stuff. They'll be begging
to get blown up with it. Or would that just be "blown" --
"we blow you"; hahah. "Up" yes, that's a good one, too.
Makes me hot just thinking about it, George. Yes, I
remember the time we submitted to a vouluntary test
of it. Right. Well, I'm more sorry than you are about that.
I can be just as sorry as you. Okay, well, we're both sorry,
alright?
Maybe James Bomb can carry a can of fart spray
in his suitcase. "Taste a blast of my aerosol
arsehole pooft, vile insurgent!"
ooOOoo
Daily Affirmation:
No matter what new depths to which my life may fall,
I may always take solace in the fact
that I will never be found refining a puppet act.