State your toaster preferences
Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Sun, 02 Jan 2005 21:20:52 -0800

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For the past few years we have gotten along fine with a used Black &
Decker toaster in white plastic with faux wood side panels. Its
features include a pastry setting, a keep warm latch which allows the
toast to pop up just enough to stop heating but still stay down within
the coils, and a darkness setting with a turn knob and graphic display
window that's kind of nifty yet mechanically simple and obvious - turn
the knob and the orange plastic in back of the window goes up or down.

I was at the classically grimy Better Bargains thrift store up on Sandy
Boulevard in Parkrose and it happened to be half off day for New Year's
Day so sprung for a 4.98 Cuisinart toaster just to try it out. At half
off why not, making it somewhat less than two point five dollars, one of
you brainiacs be sure and tell me what that works out to. This is one
of those two foot long ones with one big slot and ceramic heating
elements which actually move in and clamp onto the item being toasted or
object of toastment when it is lowered. This allows toastment of
non-standard items such as bagels or slices of big sourdough loaves or
focaccia. The drawbacks are - only one horizontally arrayed heating
element per side so heat goes along the middle of the space,
necessitating some turning of breads to ensure even toastation and
avoidance of lesserly toastified upper and lower edges, and the elements
appear to become slightly hotter at the ends than in the middle so that
ends of longer slices tend to become toastier than middles.

For standard size bread toasting the B&D is still champ but it's nice
not to have to chop other breads down into four inch long bits. I would
be interested in hearing of your toaster preferences or experiences,
speculation on why raisin bread tends to burn, or links to the Duke of
Uke's nanotoaster article, etc.

It should be noted here that Uncle Onan's homemade Mixed Nut Butter is
DREAMY and SUCCULENT, and a good way to make Marmite slightly less
corrosive to mouth tissues is to put a thin coat of peanut butter over it.


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2005 08:27:11 GMT

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nenslo wrote:

I think that raisin bread tends to burn because of the sugar.

Bbq sauce is like that, too. You have to watch the temp.

I think that I like toaster ovens, because one can make open-faced
sandwiches, with layers of mustard, onion, tomato, and Tillamook.

Sometimes, you can make OK toast in a black iron skillet, and you can
control the heat better for stuff like raisin toast or garlic toast.

Once a guy said that most people can't explain how a toaster works'
the timer part isn't so hard but the IR heat part is harder.

http://www.rumford.com/radiant/formulas.html



Correspondent:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 3 Jan 2005 01:02:10 -0800

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Here's what you should do. Take a fork, right? Ordinary household fork,
nothing special, and just jam it in there, just shove it right in the
slots. Do it while standing in the bathtub while you're at it. Best
toast you'll ever have. I promise.



Correspondent:: Baldin Pramer
Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2005 08:41:07 -0700

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Paul Casino wrote:

> Here's what you should do. Take a fork, right? Ordinary household fork,
> nothing special, and just jam it in there, just shove it right in the
> slots. Do it while standing in the bathtub while you're at it. Best
> toast you'll ever have. I promise.

Nenslo said it had ceramic heating elements. You're going to have to use
a knife and a hammer to get the flavor juuuust right. But yeah, that is
a good suggestion in general.

--
Sir Baldin Pramer, R.P.A.


Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2005 01:14:47 -0800

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In article <41D8D632.E13A4A43@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

snip

I like the Hello Kitty toasters that burn a Hello Kitty face into your
toast. It's also a great way to get your kids to eat more toast. Lord
knows, kids these days don't get nearly enough carbohydrates..

pb


Correspondent:: elvis_bond@hotmail.com
Date: 3 Jan 2005 05:57:40 -0800

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The actual truth is, I have a Hello Kitty toaster.

When I get a perfect Hello Kitty on my toast,
it's going on ebay.

So...it's an investment. I plan to use the funds for
a breakaway group of SubGenii. Isn't it time for a schism?

Jeezus.

Actually, it was a gift from my wife. I was entertained
until I realized that when the toaster makes a hello kitty face
IT DOESN'T TOAST THAT SIDE OF THE FUCKING BREAD.

Aside from that, yeah, they are cute....but you can't easily remove
the hello kitty face shaped piece of metal from the toaster. In fact,
they are welded in. So just remember which side of the toast to
butter which is not the hello kitty face side.

What I really want is some more hello kitty rubber stamps.
I used to have a cute set of hello kitty serving tea.

I found a good button in Hawaii in 1985. "Goodbye Kitty"
It had a uniformed cop pointing a gun at Hello Kitty's head.
Goodbye Kitty



Correspondent:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 4 Jan 2005 13:13:18 -0800

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elvis_bond@hotmail.com wrote:
> The actual truth is, I have a Hello Kitty toaster.
>
> When I get a perfect Hello Kitty on my toast,
> it's going on ebay.
>
I'd recommend that. I recently made a killing on Ebay from when I laid
my 1950's era asbestos-covered, lead-lined, atomic war-ready scapular
on a subsequently famous grilled cheese sandwich.



Correspondent:: "Giles"
Date: 3 Jan 2005 18:27:40 -0800

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nenslo wrote:
>
> For standard size bread toasting the B&D is still champ but it's nice
> not to have to chop other breads down into four inch long bits. I
would
> be interested in hearing of your toaster preferences or experiences,

I prefer to cut a loaf of French or Italian bread in half and put it in
the oven broiler at 500 degress for a minute or two. It is especially
good with a garlic spread, or add melted Mozzarella and sliced tomato.

I suppose one could fashion a "Hello Kitty" mask out of sheet aluminum
to place on the bread if needed. And, in the spirit of alt.slack, Paul
Casino could stick his head in the oven before, during, or after
toasting.



Correspondent:: Eddie Vroom
Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 03:03:39 GMT

--------
Giles wrote:
> nenslo wrote:
>
>>For standard size bread toasting the B&D is still champ but it's nice
>>not to have to chop other breads down into four inch long bits. I
>
> would
>
>>be interested in hearing of your toaster preferences or experiences,
>
>
> I prefer to cut a loaf of French or Italian bread in half and put it in
> the oven broiler at 500 degress for a minute or two. It is especially
> good with a garlic spread, or add melted Mozzarella and sliced tomato.
>
> I suppose one could fashion a "Hello Kitty" mask out of sheet aluminum
> to place on the bread if needed. And, in the spirit of alt.slack, Paul
> Casino could stick his head in the oven before, during, or after
> toasting.

You could freehand Hello Kitty with a propane torch post-toaster.

Personally, those "cool-to-the-touch" toasters with one big godawful
slot work for me.

A McDonald's Industrial Ugly bun toaster in the kitchen makes quite a
statement, though. Particularly the kind made to toast the Big Mac
three-part bun.

Who here can name the three parts of the bun?...

--
Art and Fashion for the New Conspiracy

http://www.cafepress.com/luciddragon

the Mystical RevvedErrand Doktor Eddie Vroom
Certified God by the holy authority of
the White Lotus Fortune Cookie Company
June 23, 2004


Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 06:15:06 GMT

--------
Eddie Vroom wrote:
>Giles wrote:
>> nenslo wrote:
>>
>>>For standard size bread toasting the B&D is still champ but it's nice
>>>not to have to chop other breads down into four inch long bits. I
>>
>> would
>>
>>>be interested in hearing of your toaster preferences or experiences,
>>
>>
>> I prefer to cut a loaf of French or Italian bread in half and put it in
>> the oven broiler at 500 degress for a minute or two. It is especially
>> good with a garlic spread, or add melted Mozzarella and sliced tomato.
>>
>> I suppose one could fashion a "Hello Kitty" mask out of sheet aluminum
>> to place on the bread if needed. And, in the spirit of alt.slack, Paul
>> Casino could stick his head in the oven before, during, or after
>> toasting.
>
>You could freehand Hello Kitty with a propane torch post-toaster.
>
>Personally, those "cool-to-the-touch" toasters with one big godawful
>slot work for me.
>
>A McDonald's Industrial Ugly bun toaster in the kitchen makes quite a
>statement, though. Particularly the kind made to toast the Big Mac
>three-part bun.
>
>Who here can name the three parts of the bun?...
>
>--

Oh, Jeezus! You mean the middle part isn't called the middle part?




Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 12:05:45 -0800

--------
In article , Eddie
Vroom wrote:

> Giles wrote:
> > nenslo wrote:
> >
> >>For standard size bread toasting the B&D is still champ but it's nice
> >>not to have to chop other breads down into four inch long bits. I
> >
> > would
> >
> >>be interested in hearing of your toaster preferences or experiences,
> >
> >
> > I prefer to cut a loaf of French or Italian bread in half and put it in
> > the oven broiler at 500 degress for a minute or two. It is especially
> > good with a garlic spread, or add melted Mozzarella and sliced tomato.
> >
> > I suppose one could fashion a "Hello Kitty" mask out of sheet aluminum
> > to place on the bread if needed. And, in the spirit of alt.slack, Paul
> > Casino could stick his head in the oven before, during, or after
> > toasting.
>
> You could freehand Hello Kitty with a propane torch post-toaster.
>
> Personally, those "cool-to-the-touch" toasters with one big godawful
> slot work for me.
>
> A McDonald's Industrial Ugly bun toaster in the kitchen makes quite a
> statement, though. Particularly the kind made to toast the Big Mac
> three-part bun.
>
> Who here can name the three parts of the bun?...

Tall Grande Vente

pb


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 05 Jan 2005 03:15:59 GMT

--------

> > Who here can name the three parts of the bun?...

Cheek * Upper Crack Minorus * Sphinctoral DuoDeanum

--

HellPope Huey
No good deed goes unpunned.

Somewhere between the Angels and the French
lies the rest of humanity.
- Mark Twain

"Oh, you hate your job?
Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that;
its called 'Everybody'
and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey


Correspondent:: Frere Jean Bleu
Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 21:59:06 +1100

--------
On Sun, 02 Jan 2005 21:20:52 -0800, nenslo wrote:


>
>For standard size bread toasting the B&D is still champ but it's nice
>not to have to chop other breads down into four inch long bits. I would
>be interested in hearing of your toaster preferences or experiences,
>speculation on why raisin bread tends to burn, or links to the Duke of
>Uke's nanotoaster article, etc.

http://www.toaster.org/

They need another $28500 to complete their toaster museum. Hold all
donations for tsunami relief.

Cyber museum here with some lovely pices of domestic kitchen art.

http://www.toaster.org/museum.html

Fr J B



Correspondent:: "Revi Shankar"
Date: Tue, 4 Jan 2005 10:20:02 -0500

--------

>
> Cyber museum here with some lovely pices of domestic kitchen art.
>
> http://www.toaster.org/museum.html
>
> Fr J B

Oooo. Cool. thanks. I have this one:
http://www.toaster.org/images/toasters/fatge.jpeg Works OK, too.









Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 16:17:34 GMT

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"Revi Shankar" wrote:
>
>>
>> Cyber museum here with some lovely pices of domestic kitchen art.
>>
>> http://www.toaster.org/museum.html
>>
>> Fr J B
>
>Oooo. Cool. thanks. I have this one:
>http://www.toaster.org/images/toasters/fatge.jpeg Works OK, too.
>

I am liking this one very much!
http://en.infinisys.co.jp/product/adx/desktop_pictures/ToasterInSpace_1024.jpg




Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 18:14:23 GMT

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The ovens at Dachau. Just clean 'em up and use them for those who
appear on "American Idol," "Judge Judy" (especially Judy herself) and
"Who Wants To Marry A whatever." Yeah, its an awful image. So what.

--

HellPope Huey
A lurking tsunami in every hot tub,
a budding conspiracy in every sock drawer,
a potential holocaust in every birth control dispenser.

Are you bored? Are you jaded?
Has all enthusiasm faded?
Are you one of those people like glazed fruit
Who sit there in shell shock
Till the dot on your screen
disappears?
- Creme & Godley, "L"

My mind is a swamp
glutted with the wreckage
of ancient sitcom gags.
- Nenslo


Correspondent:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2005 21:43:38 -0800

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Frere Jean Bleu wrote:
>
>
> Cyber museum here with some lovely pices of domestic kitchen art.
>
> http://www.toaster.org/museum.html
>

My Uncle Bob owned, and probably still owns a Toastolator, the second
toaster in the 1940 - 1960 section of the museum. You put the slice in
one side and it walks through the toaster with a continuous grinding
noise and falls ot the other end toasted. You can peer through a tiny
porthole in the middle just for fun.


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 2005 01:20:17 GMT

--------
In article <41DB7E89.DB24408A@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> My Uncle Bob owned, and probably still owns a Toastolator, the second
> toaster in the 1940 - 1960 section of the museum. You put the slice in
> one side and it walks through the toaster with a continuous grinding
> noise and falls ot the other end toasted. You can peer through a tiny
> porthole in the middle just for fun.

If your posts get any duller, we're gonna make you take purple
"walkies" in the park.

--

HellPope Huey
No good deed goes unpunned.

Somewhere between the Angels and the French
lies the rest of humanity.
- Mark Twain

"Oh, you hate your job?
Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that;
its called 'Everybody'
and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey