Subgenius Zines
Correspondent:: "Reverend Johnny Lemuria"
Date: 6 Jan 2005 10:49:07 -0800

--------
I just recently paid my $30, after ten years of lurking and not getting
all the slack I was entitled to. I feel the need to put out a zine, a
newsletter for my new diocese, the Temple of the New Flesh, to be
called Strange Flavor. Anyone on this list have any experience with
zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good
subgenius zines? Thanks.



Correspondent:: purple
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 2005 14:00:55 -0500

--------
On 1/6/05 1:49 PM, in article
1105037347.779428.155090@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com, "Reverend Johnny
Lemuria" wrote:

> I just recently paid my $30, after ten years of lurking and not getting
> all the slack I was entitled to. I feel the need to put out a zine, a
> newsletter for my new diocese, the Temple of the New Flesh, to be
> called Strange Flavor. Anyone on this list have any experience with
> zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good
> subgenius zines? Thanks.
>

See BEN IS DEAD on my chart:

http://www.mcluhaninstitute.org/baedeker/bobs_charts/tiny_note_chart.htm

Bottom of the column on the far left.


The Great Bob Dobbs



Correspondent:: purple
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 2005 14:04:00 -0500

--------

Also note where "Lemuria" is in middle column, second quadrant (Kroker,
holeopathic satellite squared) from the bottom.


The Great Bob Dobbs


On 1/6/05 2:00 PM, in article BE02F517.12199%purple@tellurian.com, "purple"
wrote:

> On 1/6/05 1:49 PM, in article
> 1105037347.779428.155090@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com, "Reverend Johnny
> Lemuria" wrote:
>
>> I just recently paid my $30, after ten years of lurking and not getting
>> all the slack I was entitled to. I feel the need to put out a zine, a
>> newsletter for my new diocese, the Temple of the New Flesh, to be
>> called Strange Flavor. Anyone on this list have any experience with
>> zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good
>> subgenius zines? Thanks.
>>
>
> See BEN IS DEAD on my chart:
>
> http://www.mcluhaninstitute.org/baedeker/bobs_charts/tiny_note_chart.htm
>
> Bottom of the column on the far left.
>
>
> The Great Bob Dobbs
>



Correspondent:: elvis_bond@hotmail.com
Date: 6 Jan 2005 11:01:07 -0800

--------
you deserve a refund



Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 2005 16:16:03 -0500

--------
In article <1105037347.779428.155090@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
Reverend Johnny Lemuria wrote:

> I just recently paid my $30, after ten years of lurking and not getting
> all the slack I was entitled to. I feel the need to put out a zine, a
> newsletter for my new diocese, the Temple of the New Flesh, to be
> called Strange Flavor. Anyone on this list have any experience with
> zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good
> subgenius zines? Thanks.
>

Have we mentioned QUIJIBO, the greatest SubGenius zine? (Yes, an actual
PRINTED zine, like in the olden days!) Rev. Chris Lee has been
instant-printing this snazzy and jazzy SubGenius zine for many years.
http://quijibo.walkingdead.net/zine/index.shtml

Here's a more detailed write-up of a typical issue
http://tinyurl.com/6bo8w

Or send $5 to Bundy, 18 W. Main, Greenfield IN 46140.

One secret to QUIJIBO's longevity may be their tradition of featuring
attractive Connietites as "Page Three Girls" in cheesecake studio
shots. That and the fact that they cover everything TRULY important in
SubGenius life.

The fewer regular subscribers you have, the longer you will likely be
able to keep publishing. That's been my experience, anyway. It's the
POSTAGE that gets you. The printing? CHEAP! EASY! But getting the 123
page "zine" to 5000 people can set the amateur publisher back just a
bit! In fact, I've been paying off my last one for YEARS now.

Now, yer e-zines and webzines, those are FREE to produce -- and in
LURID 4-COLOR, yet! Try getting the subscription $ out of the readers,
though.

I started printing little ditto publications when I was in 4th grade
and I did an sf-movies zine in the late 60s when I was a teeny-bopboy.
Then once in "Bob's" employ I did the yearly massive Stark Fist
journals of the 80s, and observed Jesus making the slim quarterly Stark
Fist zines of the 90s.

Then we tried to go "big-time" by getting Conspiracy Money Men
interested -- and went broke! It would have taken much more money than
we had to make money, apparently.

Our experience has been that the underground will treat you right,
whereas the Con will just fuck you outright, and since neither one pays
shit, you might as well plan to keep it small and real.

I am like the Little Big Man of 1980s zine publishing. We traded the
old Stark Fists with literally hundreds of other publishers -- WHILE WE
COULD AFFORD TO, that is. I saw a whole lot of our comrade zines go
from mimeographed newsletters to slick newstand publications, and THEN
into bankruptcy, but there were a whole lot more that had marvelous
little runs for a few years and then simply vanished one month. MONK is
one of the few happy survivors of the transition from fun home-made
zine to profitable home-made slick.

The Weekly World News could be described as a wildly successful
SubGeniusoid zine, I suppose.

It's a fact that there is nothing like a printed zine. I don't care how
lightweight your wireless laptop is, it just ain't the same for reading
on the crapper. No comp.

Not YET anyway.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Correspondent:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 6 Jan 2005 17:27:04 -0800

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"Conspiracy money men", hey?



Correspondent:: "Reverend Johnny Lemuria"
Date: 6 Jan 2005 18:33:57 -0800

--------
Thank you all for your comments. If everything goes to plan (which it
won't), I'll have the first issue of "Strange Flavor" out this august.



Correspondent:: polar bear
Date: Sun, 09 Jan 2005 14:10:15 -0800

--------
In article <1105065237.578483.122290@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
"Reverend Johnny Lemuria" wrote:

> Thank you all for your comments. If everything goes to plan (which it
> won't), I'll have the first issue of "Strange Flavor" out this august.

One word: Free personal ads.

HTH

pb


Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 11:48:37 -0500

--------
In article <1105061224.118353.122720@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
Doktor Dark wrote:

> "Conspiracy money men", hey?
>

I'm not talking about the Supreme Supervisors. Multiply a Supreme
Supervisor by TEN or TWENTY.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 2005 14:29:30 -0700

--------
Reverend Johnny Lemuria wrote:
>
> I just recently paid my $30, after ten years
> of lurking and not getting all the slack I was
> entitled to. I feel the need to put out a zine,
> a newsletter for my new diocese, the Temple of
> the New Flesh, to be called Strange Flavor.
> Anyone on this list have any experience with
> zines, have advice based on zines you've read,
> or know of any good subgenius zines? Thanks.

Doing a SubGenius-material-based zine can be
very easy or can be impossibly hard:

1) Don't try to be terribly original, just out
of the chute. There are HUGE quantities of
SubGenius text and graphics you can get for free,
far more than a dozen weekly zines could publish
year round. So concentrate on editing and
publishing, not creating, for a while. Once you
have figured out E&P, then slowly increase the
amount of original material to a comfort level.
Be sure to attribute material, if at all possible,
if for no other reason than it makes your zine
sound like a group, rather than just some guy.
Print out the graphics in B&W, then cut and paste.
You'll have to edit text on any word processor.

2) Most zine creators do too much, too fast, and
burn out after a single issue. So it may sound
odd, but create your first 3-5 issues at the same
time, before you publish your first one. It is
a major relief the chill out after the first one
is distributed, knowing that most of the work for
the next 2-4 is already done. Issue size is also
very important.

3) Set up a production timetable. The more
frequently you publish, the larger and more loyal
your readership will be. But it will also mean a
higher printing cost and a lot more work. Much
depends on your distribution points, such as record
stores and knowing students who will drop off your
zine at their schools. Map them. The most zines
you can flog at most points is between 0-10, so you
need a lot of points.

4) Advertising. Be sure to throw in several ads
for the CotSG at the holy Cleveland PO Box. Then
put in free ads for a bunch of things that would
never pay for or solicit ads in a zine, but clearly
marked "advertisement". These might be for local
concerts, non-existent corporations, or something
silly like a real ad for a Swedish-make shoulder
launched anti-tank missile (ads like that do exist).
Don't expect to EVER sell an ad, so put in ads for
things involving people sending you money for
whatever you want to sell. Think of it as your
own personal Ebay. See #8 below.

5) Comics. Lots of people get zines just for the
comix. But they were usually a pain-in-nass, until
late. The Internet is full of bizarre comix that
ran for a few years, then died, or never get seen
by many people at all. Send an email to a bunch of
the ones you like, just asking for permission to
reprint their stuff. If you have a big-ass comix
page(s), people will stand in line for your zine.

Index of online comics (not inclusive):

http://www.onlinecomics.net/pages/index.php


6) Printing. Use standard 8.5x11 white paper in
B&W. IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, use someone ELSE'S 8.5x11
paper on THEIR copy machine, WITHOUT paying for it.
An electric stapler is a gift from the gods.

7) Use cover art that is similar between issues, so
they can tell it's the same zine that they got last
time. Obviously lie like a dog about content on the
cover. Even sound like a spammer:

"Enargle(sic) Your Penis!" (Incl exclamation points)

"Ashlee Simpson And A Dog!"

"Secret Government Brain Weapon!"

"The World Is Going To End And You May Die!"

"Make $10,000,000 OVERNIGHT!"

"Marijuana Now Legal In Entire U.S.!"

"NOW WITH AN EXTRA LARGE COMIX SEXTION!"


8) Stuff to sell with your zine can be everything
from CDs you have burned with HOS mp3s, to Church
swag you resell (don't pre-order, wait until someone
wants it). One of my favorites is to go out with a
friend to a junkyard with a cheap camera, have him
throw crap through the air while you make blurry
photos of it, then sell it as "Previously unpublished
original photos of Unidentified Flying Objects", for
like $50. A friend did this and never got a complaint.
You can also reprint and sell the Church pamphlet, but
do remember that some percentage of the proceeds should
be remitted to Rev Stang, to put you in good with "Bob".

9) Other stuff to include: order forms for stuff,
fake letters to the editor, address for submissions
(all of which become your property), and ESPECIALLY,
how they, too, can become a CotSG Reverend. You might
even throw in a pitch for ShortDurMars and other Holy
or un-Holy duties that you can perform for a fee. It
also looks good to throw in upcoming national and
international devival ads.

Well, this covered a lot of material, but its based on
watching a lot of zines come and go over time.

Here is a list of a lot of the current online zines,
you might look at for ideas:

http://www.e-zine-list.com/titles_by_keyword/index.shtml

--
"Money can't buy you happiness,
but when you're poor, you can't
buy shit, and nobody will loan
you happiness."
--nu-monet


Correspondent:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 11:48:38 -0500

--------
In article <41DDADBA.72B3@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v7.0
wrote:


>
> 2) Most zine creators do too much, too fast, and
> burn out after a single issue. So it may sound
> odd, but create your first 3-5 issues at the same
> time, before you publish your first one. It is
> a major relief the chill out after the first one
> is distributed, knowing that most of the work for
> the next 2-4 is already done. Issue size is also
> very important.

And tits, and tit sizes. You keep not mentioning the TITS. Just
suggestions of tittage will help attract reader interest -- male and
female alike!


>
> 4) Advertising. Be sure to throw in several ads
> for the CotSG at the holy Cleveland PO Box. Then
> put in free ads for a bunch of things that would
> never pay for or solicit ads in a zine, but clearly
> marked "advertisement". These might be for local
> concerts, non-existent corporations, or something
> silly like a real ad for a Swedish-make shoulder
> launched anti-tank missile (ads like that do exist).
> Don't expect to EVER sell an ad, so put in ads for
> things involving people sending you money for
> whatever you want to sell. Think of it as your
> own personal Ebay.

This is also a good place to work in more images of female human or
SubGenius breasts.





> 7) Use cover art that is similar between issues, so
> they can tell it's the same zine that they got last
> time. Obviously lie like a dog about content on the
> cover. Even sound like a spammer:
>
> "Enargle(sic) Your Penis!" (Incl exclamation points)
>
> "Ashlee Simpson And A Dog!"
>
> "Secret Government Brain Weapon!"
>
> "The World Is Going To End And You May Die!"
>
> "Make $10,000,000 OVERNIGHT!"
>
> "Marijuana Now Legal In Entire U.S.!"
>
> "NOW WITH AN EXTRA LARGE COMIX SEXTION!"

"SOFT ROUND THINGS!"


>
> 9) Other stuff to include: order forms for stuff,
> fake letters to the editor, address for submissions
> (all of which become your property), and ESPECIALLY,
> how they, too, can become a CotSG Reverend. You might
> even throw in a pitch for ShortDurMars and other Holy
> or un-Holy duties that you can perform for a fee.


IMPORTANT NOTE: WE CAN NOW REPRINT THE SACRED SHORDURMAR CERTIFICATES!

The originals had been lost in the shuffle from Austin to Georgia to
Cleveland, but have now been found and relocated to Cleveland. Like all
the other Membership documents this is being scanned for posterity and
a rebirth.



>
> Well, this covered a lot of material, but its based on
> watching a lot of zines come and go over time.

Nu-monet has doled out some sage advice here.

>
> Here is a list of a lot of the current online zines,
> you might look at for ideas:
>
> http://www.e-zine-list.com/titles_by_keyword/index.shtml

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 19:51:37 GMT

--------
In article <070120051148383697%stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>,
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> This is also a good place to work in more images of female human or
> SubGenius breasts.

I'll daub my left one with green acrylic paint, mash it onto a linoleum
tile and mail it to you for FIVE DOLLARS. Ten for the right one 'cause
its prettier.

--

HellPope Huey ~ www.subgenius.com
What a grand day to be a mutant!

"Its really great to see a couple of you."
- Danny DeVito

"When she can fall out of a tree
and land on her feet,
THEN I'll be impressed."
- "Stuart Little 2"


Correspondent:: asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
Date: 07 Jan 2005 13:16:26 GMT

--------
<< Anyone on this list have any experience with
zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good subgenius
zines? >>

Stark Fist
Quijibo
Blueboy
Leg Show
Mortician's Quarterly
Kult of Kuteness
Screw



ooOOoo

It petrifies the tongue. . .
Shoots arrows through the lung. . .
Guttural rending pain . . .
. . . and next it Sclerotifies the brain
-- Copyright 2004 Ilya Shambat


Correspondent:: Shining Path of Least Resistance
Date: Fri, 07 Jan 2005 23:40:36 +0900

--------
On 07 Jan 2005 13:16:26 GMT, asscoassc@aol.comBLOWME (AssCo Assc)
wrote:

><< Anyone on this list have any experience with
>zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good subgenius
>zines? >>
>
>Stark Fist
>Quijibo
>Blueboy
>Leg Show
>Mortician's Quarterly
>Kult of Kuteness
>Screw
Juggs
Buggs
Oggi
Mlada Fronta




Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 08 Jan 2005 14:22:12 GMT

--------
><< Anyone on this list have any experience with
>zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good subgenius
>zines? >>
>
>Stark Fist
>Quijibo
>Blueboy
>Leg Show
>Mortician's Quarterly
>Kult of Kuteness
>Screw

Oh! And Reader's Digest! Theer are subversive subliminal messages hidden in the
ink splot on all its photos. Especially designed so that carriers of the Yeti
gene can read them , but Pinks are driven to be even more stupid then they
already are.


MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

"War hath no Fury like a non-combatants"

Charles E. Montague


Correspondent:: wcb
Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 22:18:38 -0500

--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:

>><< Anyone on this list have any experience with
>>zines, have advice based on zines you've read, or know of any good
>>subgenius zines? >>
>>
>>Stark Fist
>>Quijibo
>>Blueboy
>>Leg Show
>>Mortician's Quarterly
>>Kult of Kuteness
>>Screw
>
> Oh! And Reader's Digest! Theer are subversive subliminal messages hidden
> in the ink splot on all its photos. Especially designed so that carriers
> of the Yeti gene can read them , but Pinks are driven to be even more
> stupid then they already are.

Fortean Times.
Bizarre Magazine
New Scientist

New Scientist is the best $55 you'll spend for reading material.
Every week a new dollop of real world weirdness.
Yes, NASA has a satellite on route to a comet that will
fire a one ton copper slug at 50,000 fps that will blow
a football stadium size hole in it.
Can I watch?


Combat Handguns
Biblical Archaeology Review.
Strange and bitter arguments.

Send in any card from a copy of Dianetics and get lots of free
and amazingly lame Scientology propaganda.








--


Cheerful Charlie


Correspondent:: HellPope Huey
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 23:24:30 GMT

--------
In article ,
wcb wrote:

> Combat Handguns
> Biblical Archaeology Review.
> Strange and bitter arguments.
> Send in any card from a copy of Dianetics and get lots of free
> and amazingly lame Scientology propaganda.

I recommend Juxtapoz. Parts of it are always a bit like a shrine to Ed
"Big Daddy" Roth, but the rest looks like someone ran a line from
"Bob's" TV to a.b.s. and cranked up the contrast knob until the viewer
grew an extra lobe and could see into the ultraviolet range.

--

HellPope Huey
The C.H.U.D.s used to stick to the sewers;
now they're at the damned malls

At some point in time,
you will come to the realization
that almost everybody is making
Howard Dean sounds.
- Revi Shankar

"Nietsche is Pietsche."
- Ogden Nash