"There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured by...."
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2005 02:56:08 GMT
--------
...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
Okay, now you do one.
--
HellPope Huey
Caligula was merely misunderstood
"Its against my religion to oppose my religion."
- former national security wonk John Ashcroft
"I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets.
I don't stand next to the mayor.
Hit your baseball into my yard
and you'll never see it again."
- Tom Waits
Correspondent:: Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 22:28:18 -0500
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HellPope Huey wrote:
> ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
>
> Okay, now you do one.
...a 18v portable drill with a 5/8" bit and some Vaseline wouldn't solve.
Howzat??
Correspondent:: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)
Date: 24 Jan 2005 14:47:08 GMT
--------
>HellPope Huey wrote:
>> ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
>>
>> Okay, now you do one.
>
>
>...a 18v portable drill with a 5/8" bit and some Vaseline wouldn't solve.
>
>Howzat??
A night of wild sex with Rush Limbaugh, two poodles, and several small
flightless seabirds.
MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
And he wore a hat
And he had a job
And he brought home the bacon
So that no one kneeeeeeew
He was a mongoloid!
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0" Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 21:13:59 -0700
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
>
> Okay, now you do one.
>
A dungeon full of orgasmic, uniformed female
high-school cheerleaders desperate for me to
drain their lifeforce with my tentacles.
--
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.
--nu-monet
Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR" Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 23:26:43 -0500
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
>
If that was ME, the damn hydrant would come like a Titan rocket after about
the 5th rep.
[*]
-----
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2005 05:13:57 GMT
--------
In article <2uCdndbPodWe5GncRVn-iQ@giganews.com>,
"iDRMRSR" wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> > ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
> >
> If that was ME, the damn hydrant would come like a Titan rocket after about
> the 5th rep.
Every time I decide to take the Low Road, you humble me by showing us a
lower one.
--
HellPope Huey
Caligula was merely misunderstood
"Its against my religion to oppose my religion."
- former national security wonk John Ashcroft
"I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets.
I don't stand next to the mayor.
Hit your baseball into my yard
and you'll never see it again."
- Tom Waits
Correspondent:: Artemia Salina Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2005 02:23:50 -0500
--------
On Mon, 24 Jan 2005 02:56:08 +0000, HellPope Huey wrote:
> ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
...a hogshead of Tabasco brandy, chug-a-lugged.
...frequent exfoliant rub downs.
...grandma McPutrid's fur ball and melon rind poultice.
Correspondent:: "just john" Date: 24 Jan 2005 06:26:42 -0800
--------
... giving me massive amounts of money to declare it cured.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2005 17:21:45 GMT
--------
In article <1106576802.086494.248140@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
"just john" wrote:
> ... giving me massive amounts of money to declare it cured.
Now that's evil, because its true. The hogshead of tabasco thing was
pretty good, but you're getting closer to the spirit of the thing. Being
able to veer off sharply to the left & into the dark territory is what
makes you better than us. All hail YOU.
--
HellPope Huey
Caligula was merely misunderstood
"Its against my religion to oppose my religion."
- former national security wonk John Ashcroft
"I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets.
I don't stand next to the mayor.
Hit your baseball into my yard
and you'll never see it again."
- Tom Waits
Correspondent:: "just john" Date: 24 Jan 2005 09:41:23 -0800
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article <1106576802.086494.248140@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
> "just john" wrote:
>
> > ... giving me massive amounts of money to declare it cured.
>
> Now that's evil, because its true. The hogshead of tabasco thing was
> pretty good, but you're getting closer to the spirit of the thing.
Being
> able to veer off sharply to the left & into the dark territory is
what
> makes you better than us. All hail YOU.
>
Well, thanks .... (Looks furtively to each side to see if that's a
code to tell the others to gang up and wedgie me. .... Dunno what it
is about this group that makes for instinctive backside worry --
perhaps all the religious titles?)
Correspondent:: Baldin Pramer Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2005 08:48:24 -0700
--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
>
> Okay, now you do one.
One of these here.
--
Sir Baldin Pramer, R.P.A.
Correspondent:: Rev DJ Epoch Date: 24 Jan 2005 21:58:51 GMT
--------
...the suitable application of high explosives.
--
12th Epochalyptic MegaFisTemple Dungeon of The Church of Our Lady of
Perpetual Motion
Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall- Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel
Rev. DJ Epoch - proprietor and janitor
Divine Southern Redneck Yeti Clench Recruitment site: http://revdjepoch.COM
"Oh give me a hoooome, where the buffalo roam, AND I'LL SHOW YOU A HOUSE THAT
STINKS TO HELL!!!"
-- DJ Epoch
Correspondent:: "Paul Casino" Date: 24 Jan 2005 17:43:57 -0800
--------
There's nothing wrong with you that can't be fixed by...
1.) ...my friend Roach and his magical cotton candy chariot that runs
on kisses and dirty sanchezes. (in that order, the other way around is
just nasty.)
2.) ...a night of cards, hard liquor, fine cigars and lap dances.
(There's an old pic on the Subsite that descibes the above activities
as "Man's Ruin". Truer words were never spoken, yet as a SubGenius, you
must be INTIMATELY FAMILIAR with the path of destruction in order to
effectively avoid it. Otherwise, how else are you supposed to know?)
And the one I assumed would be the cannonical answer to this, yet since
it's gone so far unspoken, I will...
There's nothing wrong with you that can't be fixed by getting that
CHECKBOOK out, or that CREDIT CARD, and sending that 30 FUCKING DOLLARS
in a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope to THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS,
you groveling little shit head.
Correspondent:: Unclaimed Mysteries Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2005 03:10:18 GMT
--------
300 full pounds of Chef Antoine's Southern Fried Glimps.
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2005 15:32:58 GMT
--------
In article ,
Unclaimed Mysteries
wrote:
> 300 full pounds of Chef Antoine's Southern Fried Glimps.
... $480,000 tax-free dollars in cash. And a pony. A talking one that
cusses.
--
HellPope Huey
The distance between a tirade
and a reasoned commentary
is exactly twice the span of time required
for a moron to refocus mentally
after being hypnotized
by an Old Navy commercial.
"You know what would be awesome?
If my computer could make the sound
of a Yeti: HRRRRRRHHHHHHHH!!!"
- AOL commercial
"Ha ha! You're nocturnal!"
- "The Simpsons"
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod" Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2005 10:35:23 GMT
--------
"HellPope Huey" wrote in message
news:Kittyhammer-372FA3.20560023012005@news1.west.earthlink.net...
>
> ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
>
> Okay, now you do one.
... a nice glass of chilled Rose wine. Here, try this. Isn't that
refreshing. Lean back a little. No, a little more. Settle into the
cushions. Aren't they nice and soft...? Here, let me loosen your scarf.
It's warm in here, isn't it?! What lovely skin you have. My you are just
full of freckles, aren't you...?
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2005 16:20:10 GMT
--------
In article ,
"ArWeGod" wrote:
> "HellPope Huey" wrote in message
> news:Kittyhammer-372FA3.20560023012005@news1.west.earthlink.net...
> >
> > ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
>> > Okay, now you do one.
>
> ... a nice glass of chilled Rose wine. Here, try this. Isn't that
> refreshing. Lean back a little. No, a little more. Settle into the
> cushions. Aren't they nice and soft...? Here, let me loosen your scarf.
> It's warm in here, isn't it?! What lovely skin you have. My you are just
> full of freckles, aren't you...?
If its all the same to you, I'd prefer the hydrant, thanks. That'll be
easier to live with than your cheap booze and ghastly Vincent Price
impressions.
--
HellPope Huey
Life is like some crazy biker,
angrily driving his hog through your front door
because some dark deal he made went sour,
but he's dyslexic and inverted the address numbers,
so the guy he wants to kill is 20 blocks away
"Don't pay too much attention to the sounds.
If you do you may miss the Music.
You won't get a heroic ride to heaven
on pretty little sounds."
- George Ives, father of Charles
"YOUR TATER 'SPLODE!"
- Rev. Dr. Jack
Correspondent:: "ArWeGod" Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 11:42:06 GMT
--------
"HellPope Huey" wrote in message
news:Kittyhammer-B2F500.10195626012005@news1.west.earthlink.net...
> In article ,
> "ArWeGod" wrote:
> > "HellPope Huey" wrote in message
> > news:Kittyhammer-372FA3.20560023012005@news1.west.earthlink.net...
> > >
> > > ...37 deep-knee squats over a lubricated fire hydrant.
> >> > Okay, now you do one.
> >
> > ... a nice glass of chilled Rose wine. Here, try this. Isn't that
> > refreshing. Lean back a little. No, a little more. Settle into the
> > cushions. Aren't they nice and soft...? Here, let me loosen your
scarf.
> > It's warm in here, isn't it?! What lovely skin you have. My you are
just
> > full of freckles, aren't you...?
>
> If its all the same to you, I'd prefer the hydrant, thanks. That'll
be
> easier to live with than your cheap booze and ghastly Vincent Price
> impressions.
Wasn't that guy born before the Depression a hundred years ago?!
At least use the SNL reference to "The Continental" with Christopher
Walken, to try to sound only last decade!
Cookie, cookie, lend me your ears. I come today not to praise Sid
Caesar...
Bugatti!
--
ArWe23Skidoo
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 18:04:31 GMT
--------
In article ,
"ArWeGod" wrote:
> "HellPope Huey" wrote in message
> news:Kittyhammer-B2F500.10195626012005@news1.west.earthlink.net...
> > If its all the same to you, I'd prefer the hydrant, thanks. That'll
> be easier to live with than your cheap booze and ghastly Vincent Price
> > impressions.
>
> Wasn't that guy born before the Depression a hundred years ago?!
> > At least use the SNL reference to "The Continental" with Christopher
> Walken, to try to sound only last decade!
Hell, if you've ever enjoyed a monster movie that wasn't all special
effects, you owe Vincent a nod, as with Hammer Films. Utterly camp, but
classics like "Dr. Phibes" earn him a Rightful Place. Likewise, touring
with Alice Cooper and doing recitations between cuts for part of the
"Welcome To My Nightmare" tour elevated him a notch.
SNL lost me years ago as it deteriorated from wit into really bad
slapstick and Mad TV outstripped the hell out of 'em easily by simply
doing what they USED to do. Of course, that went to shitzizzle when it
decided to go all UPN on yo' ass. Oh, me so sad.
The real "problem," as if pop culture will mean shit if (dire thing X)
suddenly crops up, is that the nearest things we have to Vincent now are
Jeffrey Coombs and Bruce Campbell for horror icons, unless you count
politicians. Different era, but its ALL spread before you like a buffet,
so google "hair-splitter" and see what it says about NENSLO, the most
important man in the Church! Anyway, don't post in a silk smoking jacket
while chomping on that silly pipe and people won't say such things.
--
HellPope Huey
When she brought out the chicken,
he knew it had become sexual
"When that climax lightning bolt
comes roaring down your loins,
there's only one thing on your mind:
Why in the hell is everybody else on this bus
starin' at me?"
- Dennis Miller, "I Rant, Therefore I Am"
"The fact that the portion of your brain
that governs your sexual drive
is being eaten away by spirochetes
is no basis upon which to begin a relationship."
- "House"
Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 12:31:16 -0600
--------
On Thu, 27 Jan 2005 18:04:31 GMT, HellPope Huey
wrote:
> The real "problem," as if pop culture will mean shit if (dire thing X)
>suddenly crops up, is that the nearest things we have to Vincent now are
>Jeffrey Coombs and Bruce Campbell for horror icons, unless you count
>politicians. Different era, but its ALL spread before you like a buffet,
>so google "hair-splitter" and see what it says about NENSLO, the most
>important man in the Church! Anyway, don't post in a silk smoking jacket
>while chomping on that silly pipe and people won't say such things.
I'm an Udo Kier fan so I recommend a lot of his monster roles. Blood
for Dracula, Pinocchio, Flesh for Frankenstein. I'm sure there are
more good ones. Was he in Shadow of the Vampire too? Can't remember.
Salacia
Correspondent:: "iDRMRSR" Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 14:07:57 -0500
--------
Try Spermula, I think it was Udo Kier's debut film.
Available on Ebay most days.
[*]
-----
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 20:56:51 GMT
--------
In article ,
"iDRMRSR" wrote:
> Try Spermula, I think it was Udo Kier's debut film.
I think I ran over Spermula while I was trying to avoid hitting a deer.
Damned things are really out in force this year and will eat pieces off
yer house. The deer, not the giant sperms.
--
HellPope Huey
Get bent, with yer pagan jargon.
You can't talk about an Earth Mother
and then take a dump on her flowers.
Goddamned hippie hypocrite
counterculture wire-headin' billygoons.
Indeterminism does not confer freedom on us:
I would feel that my freedom was impaired
if I thought that a quantum mechanical trigger
in my brain
might cause me to leap into the garden
and eat a slug.
- J. J. C. Smart
"Our bombs are smarter
than the average high school student.
At least they can find Kuwait."
- A. Whitney Brown
Correspondent:: Rev DJ Epoch Date: 28 Jan 2005 14:27:00 GMT
--------
HellPope Huey wrote in news:Kittyhammer-
8E82A8.14580927012005@news1.west.earthlink.net:
> In article ,
> "iDRMRSR" wrote:
>
>> Try Spermula, I think it was Udo Kier's debut film.
>
> I think I ran over Spermula while I was trying to avoid hitting a deer.
> Damned things are really out in force this year and will eat pieces off
> yer house. The deer, not the giant sperms.
>
You ain't been around MY neighborhood lately. This turf's so tough the
giant sperms carry switchblades.
--
12th Epochalyptic MegaFisTemple Dungeon of The Church of Our Lady of
Perpetual Motion
Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall- Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel
Rev. DJ Epoch - proprietor and janitor
Divine Southern Redneck Yeti Clench Recruitment site: http://revdjepoch.COM
"Yeah yeah. It's all fun and games until someone ingests a quantum
singularity and implodes!!"
-- DJ Epoch
Correspondent:: HellPope Huey Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 18:09:46 GMT
--------
In article ,
Rev DJ Epoch wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote in news:Kittyhammer-
> 8E82A8.14580927012005@news1.west.earthlink.net:
> > In article ,
> > "iDRMRSR" wrote:
> >
> >> Try Spermula, I think it was Udo Kier's debut film.
> >
> > I think I ran over Spermula while I was trying to avoid hitting a deer.
> > Damned things are really out in force this year and will eat pieces off
> > yer house. The deer, not the giant sperms.
> >
> You ain't been around MY neighborhood lately. This turf's so tough the
> giant sperms carry switchblades.
In New York, they would make egg creams out of them. Keep those sperms
coming or the terrorists win.
--
HellPope Huey
Yar dig buggerty and then some
Not only are you anal,
but you are anal about things most people
have never even heard of.
- Nigel
"I have too many good anuses ahead of me
to spend my life in a cigar factory!"
- "King of the Hill"
Correspondent:: nenslo Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 21:23:13 -0800
--------
"HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" wrote:
>
> I'm an Udo Kier fan so I recommend a lot of his monster roles. Blood
> for Dracula, Pinocchio, Flesh for Frankenstein. I'm sure there are
> more good ones. Was he in Shadow of the Vampire too? Can't remember.
>
He's in that rapture movie Megiddo that they show on TBN.
Correspondent:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 23:35:38 -0600
--------
On Thu, 27 Jan 2005 21:23:13 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>"HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer" wrote:
>>
>> I'm an Udo Kier fan so I recommend a lot of his monster roles. Blood
>> for Dracula, Pinocchio, Flesh for Frankenstein. I'm sure there are
>> more good ones. Was he in Shadow of the Vampire too? Can't remember.
>>
>
>He's in that rapture movie Megiddo that they show on TBN.
That's one of the ones I haven't seen yet. My Udo Kier list of movies
on netflix is looooooooong.