first Bush, then SpongeBob, now this..
Correspondent:: "el hoagie beano"
Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2005 22:33:38 -0500
--------
Undeniable proof that the Bush Administration is populated
by utter morons and the American xian equivalent of the
Islamic Talliban.
--------- cut ---------
http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2004/11/white_house_exp.html
November 21, 2004
White House Exploring 'Rapture' Contingency Plans
WASHINGTON, DC-What if the rapture, the much-anticipated
event in which God summons his faithful followers out of this
world, happened on George W. Bush's watch? Until recently this
seemingly far-fetched question was the stuff of Christian message
boards. But with the White House well known for putting faith
front and center, officials are reportedly at work on a
contingency plan spelling out how to run the country in the
event that President Bush and other top-ranking Christians
are 'raptured.'
The White House is reportedly exploring contingency
plans in the event that President Bush and other
prominent Christians are 'raptured.' But succession
plans are complicated by Vice President Dick
Cheney's poor health and the fact that Representative
Tom DeLay, like President Bush, will be summoned
to heaven along with millions of other Christians.
White House officials are said to be concerned by a
recent up-tick in the Rapture Ready Index, a self-proclaimed
prophetic speedometer of end-time activity that monitors
such seemingly disparate factors as the crime rate,
unemployment, wild weather and the "mark of the Beast,"
evidence of activity related to the antichrist. The Rapture
Ready Index recently reached 157, a high for
2005, pushed upwards by a new CUNY study showing
that the number of Pagans in the US has skyrocketed of late.
The "mark of the Beast" category was also upgraded
as a result of a nation-wide push to replace bar codes
product labels with radio tags.
------------------------
Jesus...Allah...Mohammed....Bush... (I am going to go mad)
Correspondent:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Sat, 22 Jan 2005 21:14:29 -0700
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el hoagie beano wrote:
>
> Undeniable proof that the Bush Administration is populated
> by utter morons and the American xian equivalent of the
> Islamic Talliban.
>
> --------- cut ---------
>
> http://swiftreport.blogs.com/news/2004/11/white_house_exp.html
>
> November 21, 2004
> White House Exploring 'Rapture' Contingency Plans
This bit has several usage errors that suggest its author
was not a professional journalist or writer. It is prolly
sucked out of their thumb.
N.B.: the current meme is that the administration is
populated with "idealists" instead of "realists".
However, the meme confuses "realism" with European
fatalism and pragmatism, which are NOT the same thing.
In other words, because the administration stubbornly
insists that the Iraqis, et al, are capable of living
in a democratic society, they are being "unrealistic",
and that they should take the dismissive approach of
the Europeans, accept them as "not yet ready" to handle
democracy and freedom, and try to financially exploit
them instead, at a distance.
This same bizarre fatalism and pragmatism also takes
things for granted such as the inevitability of Iran
to develop nuclear weapons, with the assumption that
because they will be able to use such weapons, there
is no choice but to negotiate with them not to use
them.
Ironically, the Europeans can only do this because
right now, the US is desperately building a chain of
anti-missile bases in Bulgaria, to defend Europe
against ballistic missile attack from Iran.
If that isn't "realism", I don't know what is.
--
"We've pretty much just been patrolling
and flying helicopters all over the place,
and when we see something bad, we blow it up."
-- Maj. David Holahan, US Marines
Correspondent:: "angelicusrex"
Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 13:29:24 -0700
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But...the sky really IS falling!
0;-) 0;-) 0;-) 0;-) (-;0 (-;0 (-;0 (-;0
0;-) David St. Albans (-;0
0;-) Surrounded by Angels (-;0
0;-) who wink... (-;0
0;-) 0;-) 0;-) 0;-) (-;0 (-;0 (-;0 (-;0
Correspondent:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 23 Jan 2005 12:59:14 -0800
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A Bunch of Krabby Patties
By MAUREEN DOWD
Published: January 23, 2005 in the New York Times
I should have known.
I can't believe I thought he was just an innocent little sponge wearing
tight shorts.
What in the name of Davy Jones's locker would a sponge be doing holding
hands with a starfish or donning purple and hot-pink flowered garb to
redecorate the Krusty Krab if he weren't a perverted invertebrate?
Before this is over, we're going to find out that SpongeBob is the
illicit spawn of the Tampa shock jock Bubba the Love Sponge. Who knew
SpongeBob would become as fraught as the cover of "Abbey Road"?
It took Dr. James Dobson, the conservative Christian leader and gay
marriage opponent, who claims the president's re-election was more a
mandate for his ideas than George Bush's, to point out the insidious
underside of the popular cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants. It
takes a sponge to brainwash a child.
Holy Abe! Dr. Dobson outed SpongeBob at a black-tie inaugural fete last
week for members of Congress and political allies. He said that a
"pro-homosexual video" - starring SpongeBob, Barney, Jimmy Neutron,
Winnie the Pooh, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy - was set to go to
elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge," including tolerance
for differences of "sexual identity."
Hoppin' clams, as they say in Bikini Bottom, the den of epicene
iniquity where SpongeBob lives. Nothing good can come of tolerance.
Dan Martinsen, a spokesman for Nickelodeon, where SpongeBob beats the
pants off the competition, was flummoxed: "It's a sponge, for crying
out loud. He has no sexuality."
Dr. Dobson has done the country a service by reminding us to watch out
for the dark side of lovable but malleable sponges. He inspired me to
fish through the president's Inaugural Address with a more skeptical
eye.
Mr. Bush's epic pledge to support democratic movements and institutions
in every nation and to end "tyranny in our world" may seem wildly
pie-in-the-sky, given that the Iraq vortex has drained our military.
Although his incendiary speech about "the untamed fire of freedom" has
been widely interpreted as a code-red warning to both foes and friends,
I wonder if the president knew he was literally promising to stamp out
undemocratic governments across the globe, which would include some of
our top allies. He probably thought it was a fancier way of repackaging
the Iraq invasion, not as a failed search for W.M.D., but as a blow for
freedom (a word used 27 times) and liberty (used 15 times).
I wonder if W. is surprised that people took it literally. The Bushes
don't always understand that they're being held to their rhetoric in
major speeches. (Read my warships.) For such a brass-knuckled vision,
the president's delivery was curiously unemotional.
Some of the same advisers who filled Mr. Bush's brain with sugary
visions of a quick and painless Iraq makeover did mean the speech to be
literal; they are drawing up military options for the rest of the
Middle East. Once again, the lovable and malleable president seems to
be soaking up the martial mind-set of those around him, almost like ...
a sponge.
SpongeBush SquarePants!
We can only hope that Dr. Dobson doesn't pick up on the resemblance.
SpongeBob, as his song goes, "lives in a pineapple under the
sea/absorbent and yellow and porous is he!" SpongeBush lives in a
bubble in D.C./absorbent and shallow and porous is he!
SpongeBush ensnared the country in a whale of a mess in Iraq because he
guilelessly absorbed the neocons' dire warnings about Saddam's weapons
capabilities and their rosy assumptions about Ahmad Chalabi's
leadership capabilities.
Dick Cheney is a gruff Mr. Krabs taskmaster to SpongeBush, but
SpongeBush is crazy about him anyhow. W. trustingly let his vice
president make the worst-case scenario about Iraq a first-case
scenario.
Mr. Bush might have thought he was just blowing pretty bubbles full of
lofty ideals about freedom and liberty in his speech, but Mr. Cheney
and the neocons seem intent on filleting Iran and Syria. (Doesn't
Richard Perle remind you of the snarky and pretentious next-door
neighbor to SpongeBob, Squidward Tentacles?)
The vice president told Don Imus that Iran was "right at the top of the
list" of trouble spots, and that Israel "might well decide to act
first" with a military strike.
Even if he's a little light in the flippers, SpongeBob has brought
children good, clean fun. SpongeBush has brought the world dark,
endless fights.
Correspondent:: König Prüß, GfbAEV
Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 21:24:49 GMT
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"Doktor Dark" wrote:
>A Bunch of Krabby Patties
>By MAUREEN DOWD
>
>Published: January 23, 2005 in the New York Times
>
>
>I should have known.
>
>I can't believe I thought he was just an innocent little sponge wearing
>tight shorts.
>
Funny!
But you know what I wonder? is that Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell aren't
making any money on this entertainment, and therefor the church is upset.
or maybe that they don't have the balls to fight the BIG EVIL and so have to
fight little imaginary evils...
Correspondent:: "marika"
Date: 24 Jan 2005 16:26:24 -0800
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Doktor Dark wrote:
> A Bunch of Krabby Patties
> By MAUREEN DOWD
> It took Dr. James Dobson, the conservative Christian leader and gay
> marriage opponent, who claims the president's re-election was more a
> mandate for his ideas than George Bush's, to point out the insidious
> underside of the popular cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants. It
> takes a sponge to brainwash a child.
>
> Holy Abe! Dr. Dobson outed SpongeBob at a black-tie inaugural fete
last
> week for members of Congress and political allies. He said that a
> "pro-homosexual video" - starring SpongeBob, Barney, Jimmy Neutron,
> Winnie the Pooh, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy - was set to go to
> elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge," including
tolerance
> for differences of "sexual identity."
>
so...the Squirrel's a beard?
i can't believe i sent this to the wrong address
mk5000
"but she's already blocked out my presence entirely. or so I thought.
'That's all, An-dre-ah. See to it right now,' she added, still not
glancing up.
Ah sure, Miranda. I thought to myself while I walked away. trying to
figure out the first step in the assignment that was sure to have a
million pitfalls along the way."--the devil wears prada, lauren
weisberger
Correspondent:: "Lester Mosley"
Date: 30 Jan 2005 02:24:46 -0800
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marika wrote:
> Doktor Dark wrote:
> > A Bunch of Krabby Patties
> > By MAUREEN DOWD
>
>
>
> > It took Dr. James Dobson, the conservative Christian leader and gay
> > marriage opponent, who claims the president's re-election was more
a
> > mandate for his ideas than George Bush's, to point out the
insidious
> > underside of the popular cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.
It
> > takes a sponge to brainwash a child.
> >
> > Holy Abe! Dr. Dobson outed SpongeBob at a black-tie inaugural fete
> last
> > week for members of Congress and political allies. He said that a
> > "pro-homosexual video" - starring SpongeBob, Barney, Jimmy Neutron,
> > Winnie the Pooh, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy - was set to go to
> > elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge," including
> tolerance
> > for differences of "sexual identity."
> >
>
Is Kermit going to explain about his two dads?
Correspondent:: brthrn@dangermedia.org
Date: 30 Jan 2005 15:49:21 -0800
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"He had discovered, however, what was pertinent to his purpose: that
she'd been connected, though perhaps only tangentially, with one of
those grand conspiracies or foretastes of Armageddon which seemed to
have captivated all diplomatic sensibilities in the years preceding the
Great War. V. and a conspiracy. Its particular shape governed only by
the surface accidents of history at the time."
Correspondent:: "Lester Mosley"
Date: 31 Jan 2005 02:08:43 -0800
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brthrn@dangermedia.org wrote:
> "He had discovered, however, what was pertinent to his purpose: that
> she'd been connected, though perhaps only tangentially, with one of
> those grand conspiracies or foretastes of Armageddon which seemed to
> have captivated all diplomatic sensibilities in the years preceding
the
> Great War. V. and a conspiracy. Its particular shape governed only by
> the surface accidents of history at the time."
And this explains Kermit's two dads, how?