A Funny Thing Happened at Work Today
Posted by:: Artemia Salina
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 05:37:32 -0500

--------
A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
out before being sent home.

Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
know of.

Just thought I'd mention it.

--
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0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
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Posted by:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 02:47:13 -0800

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"There goes another pupil" said the professor, as his glass eye rolled
down the sink drain.



Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 03:11:35 -0800

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>>Doktor Dark
>>"There goes another pupil" said the professor, as >>his glass eye
rolled
down the sink >>drain.

So that's how I got this new marble!!

Rev-Sci-Fi-entist KrustyMADfaker
"I didn't give up. The equipment
malfunctioned!"

"This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in."
-Bela Lugosi



Posted by:: König Prüße, GfbAEV
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:51:34 GMT

--------
Artemia Salina wrote:

>A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
>fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
>push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
>out before being sent home.
>
>Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
>be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
>know of.
>
>Just thought I'd mention it.
>

That is a frequent occurrence, often being caused by sneezing
or a sudden barometric change. Or, as you say, for no apparent
reason at all. Eyeballs often get bored, and decide to take-off
on their own.




Posted by:: "Panda Wallop"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 05:32:31 -0800

--------

König Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:
> Artemia Salina wrote:
>
> >A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> >fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
> >push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
> >out before being sent home.
> >
> >Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
> >be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
> >know of.
> >
> >Just thought I'd mention it.
> >

This one time, I asked a Russian colleague about his hobbies and what
sort of things he liked to do in his spare time. In a thick accent made
husky by a lifetime of cigarettes and vodka, he replied -

"Who, me?"



Posted by:: "Bibliophilia"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 06:16:04 -0800

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König Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:

> That is a frequent occurrence, often being caused by sneezing
> or a sudden barometric change. Or, as you say, for no apparent
> reason at all. Eyeballs often get bored, and decide to take-off
> on their own.
.


How do you prevent that sort of thing? I have to look at boring stuff
for my job, so I am having a little anxiety about the "bored eyeball"
problem.



Posted by:: "ouroboros rex"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:56:42 -0600

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"Bibliophilia" wrote in message
news:1111673764.841566.130800@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...

König Prüße, GfbAEV wrote:

> That is a frequent occurrence, often being caused by sneezing
> or a sudden barometric change. Or, as you say, for no apparent
> reason at all. Eyeballs often get bored, and decide to take-off
> on their own.
.


>How do you prevent that sort of thing? I have to look at boring stuff
>for my job, so I am having a little anxiety about the "bored eyeball"
>problem.

Superhero mask.




Posted by:: "Bibliophilia"
Date: 28 Mar 2005 12:59:34 -0800

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>Superhero mask.

Good answer. I have been desperately holding them in with my thumbs,
which had gotten painful. Thanks!



Posted by:: Miz Daisy Cutter
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 12:23:26 -0500

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On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 07:51:34 -0500, König Prüße, GfbAEV reached into its ass
and pulled out (in article
):

> That is a frequent occurrence, often being caused by sneezing
> or a sudden barometric change. Or, as you say, for no apparent
> reason at all. Eyeballs often get bored, and decide to take-off
> on their own.

True. I've had to pick a few out of my cleavage from time to time and hand
them back to the fellow standing in front of me.

-- Daze

ObT: She probably does, too...or maybe out of the wheelbarrow she carries
them in.
http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/o/50/v/44177/default.htm

---
if there's a hell, most of the people in here are in trouble. although a few
would probably enjoy it, and a couple would probably end up running the place
more efficiently.
‹ nikolai kingsley



Posted by:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 08:30:02 -0600

--------
On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 05:37:32 -0500, Artemia Salina
wrote:

>A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
>fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
>push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
>out before being sent home.
>
>Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
>be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
>know of.
>
>Just thought I'd mention it.

I had a weird experience yesterday.
I was getting some stuff out of my van in someone's driveway, when the
Easter Bunny drove by in blue van loaded with fancy cellophane covered
Easter baskets...and he or she waved at me....AND I FOUND MYSELF
WAVING BACK!!!!


Posted by:: brthrn@dangermedia.org
Date: 24 Mar 2005 06:57:39 -0800

--------
Yeh. Go send him a GODDAMN MEMO while you're at it you douchebag
whoremonkey cunt.



Posted by:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:32:12 -0600

--------
On 24 Mar 2005 06:57:39 -0800, brthrn@dangermedia.org wrote:

>Yeh. Go send him a GODDAMN MEMO while you're at it you douchebag
>whoremonkey cunt.

Oh. I reserve memos for the "supreme being". He needs EVERYTHING in
triplicate. sheesh.


Posted by:: brthrn@dangermedia.org
Date: 24 Mar 2005 07:44:00 -0800

--------
There is NO SUPREME BEING. JESUS FUCK GOD! IT'S ALL A GODDAMN CORPORATE
*FRONT*!

I thought it was obvious. To EVERYONE.



Posted by:: "ouroboros rex"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:57:49 -0600

--------

wrote in message
news:1111679040.229002.134620@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> There is NO SUPREME BEING. JESUS FUCK GOD! IT'S ALL A GODDAMN CORPORATE
> *FRONT*!

The two are not mutually exclusive. Look at "Bob".




Posted by:: "Kristian Lahdensuo"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 17:16:23 +0200

--------

"Artemia Salina" kirjoitti
viestissä:pan.2005.03.24.10.37.27.905842@sheayright.com...
>A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
> push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
> out before being sent home.
>
> Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
> be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
> know of.

That has never happened to me either, or anyone I know of.




Posted by:: "Blackout"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:07:30 -0700

--------

"Artemia Salina" wrote

>A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
> push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
> out before being sent home.
>
> Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
> be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
> know of.

sounds like a great start to a letter to penthouse forum




Posted by:: Michael Briel
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 15:44:18 +0100

--------
Blackout wrote:

>>A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
>>fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
>>push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
>>out before being sent home.
>>Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
>>be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
>>know of.
> sounds like a great start to a letter to penthouse forum

... or like a scene from the book "Das Boot" (even though there's a lot
tastelessness in the uncut TV-Series version of the movie I'm not sure
if this bit survived):

There's these two submariners who as a sort of running gag through the
book tell nasty stories. One of it involves a prostitute with a glass
eye. She removes it and says:

"Du willst Vögeln? Ich hab' was Besseres: Äugeln!"

("You want to fuck? I got something better: 'eye' me!")

Michael Briel - www.brielmusik.de
--
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its
eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a
good idea but it's just eggs hatching.


Posted by:: Dave Bell
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 02:01:50 GMT

--------
Michael Briel wrote:
> Blackout wrote:
>
>>> A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
>>> fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
>>> push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
>>> out before being sent home.
>>> Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
>>> be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
>>> know of.
>>
>> sounds like a great start to a letter to penthouse forum
>
>
> ... or like a scene from the book "Das Boot" (even though there's a lot
> tastelessness in the uncut TV-Series version of the movie I'm not sure
> if this bit survived):
>
> There's these two submariners who as a sort of running gag through the
> book tell nasty stories. One of it involves a prostitute with a glass
> eye. She removes it and says:
>
> "Du willst Vögeln? Ich hab' was Besseres: Äugeln!"
>
> ("You want to fuck? I got something better: 'eye' me!")
>
> Michael Briel - www.brielmusik.de

"I'll keep an eye out for you!"


Posted by:: "Revi Shankar"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 11:52:13 -0500

--------

"Artemia Salina" wrote

> A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> fell out of its socket for no apparent reason.

My eyes pop out alla time when I read the newspaper.

> He was able to
> push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
> out before being sent home.
>
> Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
> be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
> know of.
>
> Just thought I'd mention it.
>

Denucleation. It's possible to de-nucleate one of those little pug-nosed
big-eyed hairy yap factories by slapping them on the back of the head.







Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 17:08:18 GMT

--------
In article ,
"Revi Shankar" wrote:

> Denucleation. It's possible to de-nucleate one of those little pug-nosed
> big-eyed hairy yap factories by slapping them on the back of the head.

That's a really great idea, but I'm too stuck on grabbing them by the
back hair and throwing them at a wall, real hard. I just love the muted
THUMP, the YURK and the staggering they do afterwards. Awful, I know,
but that's the luck of the draw. Some do the major throwing, some hit
the wall on their own and some are flung into it.

--

HellPope Huey
God is my co-pilot
and winged monkeys on the window ledge
are my spell-checkers.

My life, my real life, was in danger
and not from anything other people might do
but from the hatred I carried in my own heart.
- James Baldwin, "Notes From a Native Son"

"If I shot every person who told me I sucked,
I'd be a serial killer."
- Judy Gold


Posted by:: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel"
Date: 26 Mar 2005 11:44:53 -0800

--------
VELCRO!



Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 26 Mar 2005 12:00:54 -0800

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The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel wrote:

>VELCRO!

1980's shit! Pump up the volume!!! Stick Live Aid wrist bands to the
equation! Q-Bert not included!!

Rev-Sci-Fi-entist KrustyMADfaker
"I didn't give up. The equipment
malfunctioned!"

"I nominate Quirk, who can crimp a steel pipe with his anus." -HellPope
Huey

"I nominate Legume, who can crimp Quirk with his steel anus." -HellPope
Huey Updated 2.0 version



Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 09:24:34 -0800

--------
< fell out of its socket for no apparent reason. He was able to
push it back in but went to the emergency room to be checked
out before being sent home.


Needless to say, this has never happened to him before, and I'd
be hard-pressed to recall it every happening to anyone that I
know of.


Just thought I'd mention it. >>

The first time i played raquestball was in the Army in Germany. They
just built the courts and we thought we would try the game to see what
it was like. After the fourth vollet the ball hit me on the side of the
left eye (this was before they thought of safety goggles) and the
imapct partially forced my eyeball out of the socket.

The medics and doctor pushed it back in. The feeeling of air trapped
behind the eye was weird to say the least. And I had a few "eye farts"
until the air was expelled.

These was much pain involved and a large bruise that was the biggest
"bob"damned shiner that anyone can ever remember seeing. The eye
swelled shit the next day. Causing more pain.



Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 23:50:05 GMT

--------
In article <1111685074.215283.142290@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:

> These was much pain involved and a large bruise that was the biggest
> "bob"damned shiner that anyone can ever remember seeing. The eye
> swelled shit the next day. Causing more pain.

Funny, that's what happened the first time I beat "Bob" at 8-Ball. I
learned not to play so well after that. Of course, whatever delivered
that blow magically jostled the part of my brain that retains the
pool-playing prog, neatly cramping it by 27%. Maybe that's what did the
trick.

Dobbs works in mysterious ways... the goddamned bobble-headed
jackanapes. I sure do love him, but I would still like to twist his head
off and pee in the stump. Hey, the head always grows back, stop staring
at me like that.

--

HellPope Huey
God is my co-pilot
and winged monkeys on the window ledge
are my spell-checkers.

My life, my real life, was in danger
and not from anything other people might do
but from the hatred I carried in my own heart.
- James Baldwin, "Notes From a Native Son"

"If I shot every person who told me I sucked,
I'd be a serial killer."
- Judy Gold


Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:06:28 -0800

--------
Artemia Salina wrote:
>
> A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> fell out of its socket for no apparent reason.

I wonder what he was reading.


Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 23:51:11 GMT

--------
In article <42431DC4.C668E35D@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:
> Artemia Salina wrote:
> >
> > A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> > fell out of its socket for no apparent reason.
>
> I wonder what he was reading.

"Sex" by Rush Limbaugh. EEEUUNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

--

HellPope Huey
God is my co-pilot
and winged monkeys on the window ledge
are my spell-checkers.

My life, my real life, was in danger
and not from anything other people might do
but from the hatred I carried in my own heart.
- James Baldwin, "Notes From a Native Son"

"If I shot every person who told me I sucked,
I'd be a serial killer."
- Judy Gold


Posted by:: "Susan Cohen"
Date: 27 Mar 2005 18:17:11 -0800

--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
> In article <42431DC4.C668E35D@yahoox.com>, nenslo

> wrote:
> > Artemia Salina wrote:
> > >
> > > A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> > > fell out of its socket for no apparent reason.
> >
> > I wonder what he was reading.
>
> "Sex" by Rush Limbaugh. EEEUUNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

By or with?

Susan



Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2005 04:56:32 GMT

--------
In article <1111976231.455788.259480@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com>,
"Susan Cohen" wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> > In article <42431DC4.C668E35D@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> > wrote:
> > > Artemia Salina wrote:
> > > >
> > > > A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> > > > fell out of its socket for no apparent reason.
> > >
> > > I wonder what he was reading.
> >
> > "Sex" by Rush Limbaugh. EEEUUNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
>
> By or with?

"By" might be somewhat amusing, coming from that squealing,
anal-retentive gork, but "WITH" just conjurs up images of mating
elephant seals, or 7 goddamned condors in your living room, out of the
blue, for no discernable reason.

I had to run his flatulent polemics at one of my radio jobs. I got real
good at catching the commercial slots while wearing a Walkman to drown
him out. I say give him all the pills he can handle... and beyond. I
wanna hear him flame out live, just go billy-berserk, foamin' and
ravin'. Well, its a little dream I have.

--

HellPope Huey
Mars needs sweeping

When I take action,
I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile
at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt.
It's going to be decisive.
- George Bush, regarding the 9/11 attacks

"Fairly harmless, according to the government,
which has been squirting it at you
most of your life."
- "King of the Hill"


Posted by:: polar bear
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 13:22:55 -0800

--------
In article <42431DC4.C668E35D@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> Artemia Salina wrote:
> >
> > A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
> > fell out of its socket for no apparent reason.
>
> I wonder what he was reading.

Google

pb


Posted by:: Artemia Salina
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 17:14:10 -0500

--------
On Thu, 24 Mar 2005 12:06:28 -0800, nenslo wrote:

> Artemia Salina wrote:
>>
>> A co-worker was reading the newspaper today when his eyeball
>> fell out of its socket for no apparent reason.
>
> I wonder what he was reading.

Uh... A NEWSPAPER.

--
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0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
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