Cynical News: Al-Quaeda Plotted to Kidnap Donny Most

Posted by:: Phin
Date: Sun, 13 Mar 2005 09:25:21 GMT

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Washington D.C. - FBI Officials have uncovered an Al-Quaeda plot to
kidnap former "Happy Days" star, Donny Most.

Most, who starred in the 70's sitcom "Happy Days," playing the
sidekick "Ralph Malph," was unavailable for comment directly, but
issued a statement through his publicist that he had been under a
'kidnap threat' from the terrorist group since August of last year.

The kidnap plan was part of a larger movement by the terrorist group
to undermine America's cultural identity by abducting popular
celebrity icons.

An FBI spokesman speaking under the condition of anonymity, said
Tuesday "we are keeping a close eye on Most. When Al-Quaeda's plans to
abduct Russell Crowe fell through, and they learned no one really
gives a shit about Russell Crowe, they fixated on Most for some
reason. Uh, they don't know what the hell, they're doing... I think
they're watching Nick at Nite reruns on satellite and think he's a
current celebrity. Plus there's something about the word 'most' that
made them think he was a top celebrity in America. I don't know.".