Ear Hairs
Posted by:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 11:29:48 -0500
--------
Do they just kind of grow slowly at a constant rate, or do they suddenly
burst out 3" long while you sleep?
And, I think it's simply awful how, just at the age when your closeup vision
deteriorates, they accelerate and propagate and become too small to spot
easily to be plucked out. Even though you look like the Wolfman to younger
people with good vision, you can't spot the damn things and tweeze them out
for love nor money.
Until they grow long enough to tickle your ear canals and wake you up at 3
AM from the itching!!!!
Fortunately, a quick pass with a Bic Lighter...the head turned
akimbo...usually provides a week or two of relief.
I shall ask the X-ists to give us pilz that make all the ear hairs drop off
forever. That's the ticket.
[*]
-----
Posted by:: "Rev Chain Smerker"
Date: Sat, 05 Mar 2005 16:37:04 GMT
--------
"iDRMRSR" wrote in message
news:4-GdnZ2ycM7gQ7TfRVn-jA@giganews.com...
> Do they just kind of grow slowly at a constant rate, or do they suddenly
> burst out 3" long while you sleep?
>
> And, I think it's simply awful how, just at the age when your closeup
> vision deteriorates, they accelerate and propagate and become too small to
> spot easily to be plucked out. Even though you look like the Wolfman to
> younger people with good vision, you can't spot the damn things and tweeze
> them out for love nor money.
>
> Until they grow long enough to tickle your ear canals and wake you up at 3
> AM from the itching!!!!
>
> Fortunately, a quick pass with a Bic Lighter...the head turned
> akimbo...usually provides a week or two of relief.
>
> I shall ask the X-ists to give us pilz that make all the ear hairs drop
> off forever. That's the ticket.
>
> [*]
> -----
>
>
Well a study on ear hair growth was conducted by the University of
Wollongong here in Australia, they found that the "ear Hairs" are actually a
part of your frontal lobe.
Now the study shows that a worm of some type burrows into your ear whilst
asleep and starts to eat your frontal lobe, teh so called Ear hairs are
actually strings of dead cell matter that the brain worms excrete after a
nightly feast.
This only happened to men over 30 who consume large amounts of alcohol
Posted by:: Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia
Date: Sat, 05 Mar 2005 16:39:09 GMT
--------
"iDRMRSR" wrote in
news:4-GdnZ2ycM7gQ7TfRVn-jA@giganews.com:
> Do they just kind of grow slowly at a constant rate, or do they
> suddenly burst out 3" long while you sleep?
>
> And, I think it's simply awful how, just at the age when your closeup
> vision deteriorates, they accelerate and propagate and become too
> small to spot easily to be plucked out. Even though you look like the
> Wolfman to younger people with good vision, you can't spot the damn
> things and tweeze them out for love nor money.
>
> Until they grow long enough to tickle your ear canals and wake you up
> at 3 AM from the itching!!!!
>
> Fortunately, a quick pass with a Bic Lighter...the head turned
> akimbo...usually provides a week or two of relief.
>
> I shall ask the X-ists to give us pilz that make all the ear hairs
> drop off forever. That's the ticket.
>
> [*]
> -----
>
>
>
Okay!
I'll bite...(sorta)...
A Bic lighter?
For trimming "ear hair"?
Ouch!
I have to know, what do you use to trim nostril hairs with?
Posted by:: "End x Art"
Date: 5 Mar 2005 09:49:19 -0800
--------
It's much more sinister than old age iDRMRSR.
THIS IS WHAT'S GROWING IN YOUR EARS!
http://www.morgellons.org/
Lighter! hah The disinfecting kiss of the flamethrower is what YOU
need.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
The skin funguses are coming back from the brink of extinction and they
are angry! Run for the hills! Make for the saucers!
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 6 Mar 2005 13:11:12 -0800
--------
I knew I was reaching middle age when I had more hair growing out of my
ears and nose then on the top of my head.
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 05:09:30 GMT
--------
In article <1110143472.406246.219280@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com>,
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> I knew I was reaching middle age when I had more hair growing out of my
> ears and nose then on the top of my head.
Let it grow out before Xmas and hang colored lights on it.
--
HellPope Huey
Floating On A Raft Of Bizarre Circumstance
In A Sea Of Grotesque Choices
The longer I live,
the larger allowances
I make for human infirmities.
- John Wesley
"If a fully grown adult
in reasonable control of his faculties
wants to plunge a syringe full of lighter fluid
into his urethra and piss fire,
as long as he does it in the privacy
of his own asbestos bathroom,
I will flick the Bic."
- Dennis Miller, "I Rant, Therefore I Am"
Posted by:: wcb
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 04:15:43 -0600
--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
> I knew I was reaching middle age when I had more hair growing out of my
> ears and nose then on the top of my head.
I was sad because I had no nosehairs, then I met a man who had no nose.
--
Cheerful Charlie
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 7 Mar 2005 10:52:21 -0800
--------
>>I was sad because I had no nosehairs, then I met a man who had no
nose. <<
How did he smell?
Posted by:: "just john"
Date: 7 Mar 2005 11:14:04 -0800
--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
> >>I was sad because I had no nosehairs, then I met a man who had no
> nose. <<
>
> How did he smell?
I hear he smelled like cocaine.
Posted by:: Rev DJ Epoch
Date: 7 Mar 2005 22:20:49 GMT
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote in news:1110221541.924497.41690
@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com:
>>>I was sad because I had no nosehairs, then I met a man who had no
> nose. <<
>
> How did he smell?
>
>
TERRIBLE! (TOO EASY!)
--
12th Epochalyptic Dungeon of The Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion
Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall- Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel
Rev. DJ Epoch - proprietor and janitor
Divine Southern Redneck Yeti Clench Recruitment site: http://revdjepoch.COM
"Yeah yeah. It's all fun and games until someone ingests a quantum
singularity and implodes!!"
-- DJ Epoch
"People from other countries are so goddamned foreign. I hope they stay
where they come from."
-- HellPope Huey
Posted by:: "ArWeGod"
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 23:47:02 GMT
--------
"Rev DJ Epoch" wrote in message
news:Xns9612B0719C3BCnunyabiznowaycom@129.250.170.88...
> "Rev. Richard Skull" wrote in
news:1110221541.924497.41690
> @o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com:
>
> >>>I was sad because I had no nosehairs, then I met a man who had no
> > nose. <<
> >
> > How did he smell?
> >
> >
>
> TERRIBLE! (TOO EASY!)
>
I'm sure you meant to say, "Terribly," as that would have been an
amusing reference to the old joke and yet correctly described his
condition.
...I know I wood have.
--
ArWe(TooHard)
Posted by:: Rev DJ Epoch
Date: 8 Mar 2005 12:40:23 GMT
--------
"ArWeGod" wrote in news:WJ5Xd.12318$Pz7.4783
@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com:
> "Rev DJ Epoch" wrote in message
> news:Xns9612B0719C3BCnunyabiznowaycom@129.250.170.88...
>> "Rev. Richard Skull" wrote in
> news:1110221541.924497.41690
>> @o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com:
>>
>> >>>I was sad because I had no nosehairs, then I met a man who had no
>> > nose. <<
>> >
>> > How did he smell?
>> >
>> >
>>
>> TERRIBLE! (TOO EASY!)
>>
>
> I'm sure you meant to say, "Terribly," as that would have been an
> amusing reference to the old joke and yet correctly described his
> condition.
>
> ...I know I wood have.
>
So how do you know he didn't have B.O.?!?
--
12th Epochalyptic Dungeon of The Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion
Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall- Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel
Rev. DJ Epoch - proprietor and janitor
Divine Southern Redneck Yeti Clench Recruitment site: http://revdjepoch.COM
"Yeah yeah. It's all fun and games until someone ingests a quantum
singularity and implodes!!"
-- DJ Epoch
"People from other countries are so goddamned foreign. I hope they stay
where they come from."
-- HellPope Huey
Posted by:: wcb
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 02:25:43 -0600
--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
>>>I was sad because I had no nosehairs, then I met a man who had no
> nose. <<
>
> How did he smell?
Awful!
(Cut to ancient film clip of laughing fat ladies applauding.)
--
Cheerful Charlie
Posted by:: Zapanaz
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 18:23:35 -0800
--------
On Sat, 5 Mar 2005 11:29:48 -0500, "iDRMRSR"
wrote:
>Do they just kind of grow slowly at a constant rate, or do they suddenly
>burst out 3" long while you sleep?
>
>And, I think it's simply awful how, just at the age when your closeup vision
>deteriorates, they accelerate and propagate and become too small to spot
>easily to be plucked out. Even though you look like the Wolfman to younger
>people with good vision, you can't spot the damn things and tweeze them out
>for love nor money.
>
>Until they grow long enough to tickle your ear canals and wake you up at 3
>AM from the itching!!!!
>
>Fortunately, a quick pass with a Bic Lighter...the head turned
>akimbo...usually provides a week or two of relief.
>
>I shall ask the X-ists to give us pilz that make all the ear hairs drop off
>forever. That's the ticket.
>
>[*]
>-----
>
i guess it would be totally and completely un-subgenius of me to point
out that you can get a trimmer for nose and ear hair for like eight
bucks wherever you get electric razors.
OR you could braid them and attach little ribbons and balloons and be
GENUINELY different.
But NOOOOOOOO. You have to stay STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
--------------------------
"i don't know why, but in venezuela,
when there's a band that's really popular,
they make shoes about it."---m trujillo
---------------------------