Ever been in a fight with a hamburger?
Posted by:: "fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari."
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 21:21:53 -0500
--------
Go low -- they're deceptively tall. If you let them clamp them jaws down,
it's game over. If you have a meat hole, squeeeeeze 'em on through, that
fucks 'em right up.
http://www.kanda.no/images/hamburger.jpg
Posted by:: brthrn@dangermedia.org
Date: 3 Mar 2005 18:49:07 -0800
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Amazing. That looks EXACTLY like your mommies DRIPPY JEW SNATCH. You
know. The one you goddamn dream about snacking on.
PUT IT TO YOUR TEMPLE AND PULL THE TRIGGER. JEW. DO IT!
And is you getting the GODDAMN SHIT beat out of you CONSTANTLY in HIGH
SCHOOL your equivalent of being in a fight? huh? You mouth-breathing
queer-jew-monkey.
Posted by:: brthrn@dangermedia.org
Date: 3 Mar 2005 18:49:49 -0800
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Now go put on your jumpsuit and DO IT.
Posted by:: Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 22:27:53 -0500
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fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari. wrote:
> Go low -- they're deceptively tall. If you let them clamp them jaws down,
> it's game over. If you have a meat hole, squeeeeeze 'em on through, that
> fucks 'em right up.
>
> http://www.kanda.no/images/hamburger.jpg
>
>
Deceptively docile looking little beast, i'n't it? I bet it would leap
right up and try to choke you by encasing itself in your windpipe given
five seconds alone with you.
Posted by:: brthrn@dangermedia.org
Date: 3 Mar 2005 19:55:45 -0800
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Like your grandpappy's cock. Right? huh? Am I there!? HUH!? AM I!?
Posted by:: Baldin Pramer
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 23:45:41 -0700
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Rich Clark aka Left Rev Egg Plant wrote:
> fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari. wrote:
>
>> Go low -- they're deceptively tall. If you let them clamp them jaws
>> down, it's game over. If you have a meat hole, squeeeeeze 'em on
>> through, that fucks 'em right up.
>>
>> http://www.kanda.no/images/hamburger.jpg
>>
>
> Deceptively docile looking little beast, i'n't it? I bet it would leap
> right up and try to choke you by encasing itself in your windpipe given
> five seconds alone with you.
Oooh, that's a mean one. I can tell. Carrys a toothpick for a shiv.
--
Sir Baldin Pramer, R.P.A.
Posted by:: Artemia Salina
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 03:42:39 -0500
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On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 21:21:53 -0500, fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari. wrote:
> Go low -- they're deceptively tall. If you let them clamp them jaws down,
> it's game over. If you have a meat hole, squeeeeeze 'em on through, that
> fucks 'em right up.
>
> http://www.kanda.no/images/hamburger.jpg
I used to get pushed around by hamburgers in school all the
time. They'd always be waiting for me in the cafeteria; that's
where they hung out. Those fuckers would ALWAYS hang out in gangs,
so I was always outnumbered and never dared to put up too much of
a fight. My nerdy friends were useless, too. They'd just shrink
away and make excuses about having to go to the library when
they'd see a group of hamburgers sitting around. I think what
REALLY pissed me off the most, though, was that it seemed that
all of the pretty girls were really attracted to hamburgers.
I guess it was because it was "bad" to like them, or something.
The really ironic thing is that I went through a phase there
where I tried to be a hamburger myself. That was a true low point
in my life. I didn't fit in, of course, but I had all of the
right sliced vegetables and cheese. I had Happy Meal posters on
my bedroom wall. I even started experimenting with condiments
(never mix ketchup and mustard!). I couldn't afford a real bun
as a school kid, so I got a cheap vinyl one and wore that around.
Naturally everyone laughed at me for it. Especially the girls.
Someone would sneak up behind me and yank off one of my fake
sesame seeds and then they'd make me play "monkey in the middle"
with it until I was reduced to tears. I eventually got over
wanting to be a hamburger, and to this day if I see one, all
I want to do is kick the shit out it!
FUCKERS!
--
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
Posted by:: "ArWeGod"
Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 12:42:07 GMT
--------
"Artemia Salina" wrote in message
news:pan.2005.03.04.08.42.39.215472@sheayright.com...
> On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 21:21:53 -0500, fenian d'illudium q-36, Rlari.
wrote:
>
> > Go low -- they're deceptively tall. If you let them clamp them jaws
down,
> > it's game over. If you have a meat hole, squeeeeeze 'em on through,
that
> > fucks 'em right up.
> >
> > http://www.kanda.no/images/hamburger.jpg
>
> I used to get pushed around by hamburgers in school all the
> time. They'd always be waiting for me in the cafeteria; that's
> where they hung out. Those fuckers would ALWAYS hang out in gangs,
> so I was always outnumbered and never dared to put up too much of
> a fight. My nerdy friends were useless, too. They'd just shrink
> away and make excuses about having to go to the library when
> they'd see a group of hamburgers sitting around. I think what
> REALLY pissed me off the most, though, was that it seemed that
> all of the pretty girls were really attracted to hamburgers.
> I guess it was because it was "bad" to like them, or something.
> The really ironic thing is that I went through a phase there
> where I tried to be a hamburger myself. That was a true low point
> in my life. I didn't fit in, of course, but I had all of the
> right sliced vegetables and cheese. I had Happy Meal posters on
> my bedroom wall. I even started experimenting with condiments
> (never mix ketchup and mustard!). I couldn't afford a real bun
> as a school kid, so I got a cheap vinyl one and wore that around.
> Naturally everyone laughed at me for it. Especially the girls.
> Someone would sneak up behind me and yank off one of my fake
> sesame seeds and then they'd make me play "monkey in the middle"
> with it until I was reduced to tears. I eventually got over
> wanting to be a hamburger, and to this day if I see one, all
> I want to do is kick the shit out it!
>
> FUCKERS!
You have a legitimate beef. And as long as you don't chicken out, you'll
be especially prized.
First of all, you really need to ground yourself. I'm sure you already
know about the agencies in your area that cater to post-hamburger trauma
syndrome. "Ich bin ein Hamburger" is their catch-phrase. Billions and
billions have been served by these franchises.
Secondly, you need to grill yourself and see if you have the right
stuff. I know it sounds cheesy to say, but you are in a bit of a pickle,
and you have to evaluate whether you can cut the mustard.
After putting yourself together, you will probably feel warm and toasty,
but you can't just sit down on your buns. Your salad days are yet to
come, but if you give it a fair shake, you can make sure you don't fry.
I hope your life doesn't go to shit in the end.
--
ArWeTasty
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 05:11:53 GMT
--------
Yeah, I once had to duke it out with a Jack-In-The-Box 'roo burger to
keep it down; I won by a narrow margin. RAAAAAALLLF
--
HellPope Huey
Floating On A Raft Of Bizarre Circumstance
In A Sea Of Grotesque Choices
The longer I live,
the larger allowances
I make for human infirmities.
- John Wesley
"If a fully grown adult
in reasonable control of his faculties
wants to plunge a syringe full of lighter fluid
into his urethra and piss fire,
as long as he does it in the privacy
of his own asbestos bathroom,
I will flick the Bic."
- Dennis Miller, "I Rant, Therefore I Am"
Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 05:30:11 -0700
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HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> Yeah, I once had to duke it out with a Jack-In-The-Box
> 'roo burger to keep it down; I won by a narrow margin.
> RAAAAAALLLF
(NOTE: The following is a purely hypothethical exercise
in economics. McDonalds corporation uses only the finest
quality beef and other ingredients in all of its products,
and routinely sues those who start malicious rumors that
say otherwise.)
I think somebody did an "economics of scale" analysis
on how much a Big Mac would cost if made with alternative
meats(*). That is, if there was a gigantic infrastructure
to produce ground-up earthworms, like the one that now
exists for beef cattle for meat and dairy cattle for fat,
that are now used, added to the fixed costs of buns, cheese,
labor, etc., how much would a Big Mac cost?
Unfortunately, I think they only did it for earthworms.
I wonder how it would stack up with kangaroo, dog, cat,
rabbits, rats, mice and people? Think gigantic factory
farms. Or like some law that makes human bodies the
property of McDonalds or something.
I would guess the cheapest you could get would be to both
recycle rabbits, then do like they do now, and add fat from
dairy cattle for flavor.
It would be cool to get a Big Mac for 25 cents. And if they
used a "low-carb" bread, it would explain the difference in
flavor *and* be better for you.
(*) The preceding was a purely hypothethical exercise in
economics. McDonalds corporation uses only the finest
quality beef and other ingredients in all of its products,
and routinely sues those who start malicious rumors that
say otherwise.
--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
"YOU BELONG TO US NOW!"
"GET DOWN WITH MY SICKNESS!!"
--Kino Beman, brand name
Posted by:: wcb
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 02:27:26 -0600
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nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
>>
>> Yeah, I once had to duke it out with a Jack-In-The-Box
>> 'roo burger to keep it down; I won by a narrow margin.
>> RAAAAAALLLF
>
> (NOTE: The following is a purely hypothethical exercise
> in economics. McDonalds corporation uses only the finest
> quality beef and other ingredients in all of its products,
> and routinely sues those who start malicious rumors that
> say otherwise.)
I WANT BUFFALO!
Once you have had buffalo, everything else is just roadkill.
>
> I think somebody did an "economics of scale" analysis
> on how much a Big Mac would cost if made with alternative
> meats(*). That is, if there was a gigantic infrastructure
> to produce ground-up earthworms, like the one that now
> exists for beef cattle for meat and dairy cattle for fat,
> that are now used, added to the fixed costs of buns, cheese,
> labor, etc., how much would a Big Mac cost?
>
> Unfortunately, I think they only did it for earthworms.
> I wonder how it would stack up with kangaroo, dog, cat,
> rabbits, rats, mice and people? Think gigantic factory
> farms. Or like some law that makes human bodies the
> property of McDonalds or something.
>
> I would guess the cheapest you could get would be to both
> recycle rabbits, then do like they do now, and add fat from
> dairy cattle for flavor.
>
> It would be cool to get a Big Mac for 25 cents. And if they
> used a "low-carb" bread, it would explain the difference in
> flavor *and* be better for you.
>
> (*) The preceding was a purely hypothethical exercise in
> economics. McDonalds corporation uses only the finest
> quality beef and other ingredients in all of its products,
> and routinely sues those who start malicious rumors that
> say otherwise.
>
>
--
Cheerful Charlie