SubGenius Survey
Posted by:: "just john"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 10:25:45 -0800
--------
You're SURE she's not a marketing major?
Posted by:: "just john"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 10:55:53 -0800
--------
LiveJournal also has a polling function. Dunno if it's similar to
YahooGroups.
> Not long back, I met a student who said that her
> focus was "corporate anthropology."
Damn, that fascinates me, too! The recent BBC (I think) film series
"The Corporation" had a schtick where they said in effect, Okay, if a
corporation is a person, what KIND of person is it? And they came up
with terms like "sociopathic" and backed it up with examples. (Or
that's what it sounded like. I heard it via an adaptation on the radio
show "Unwelcome Guests," which I get from http://www.radio4all.net,
along with the HoS.)
Anyway, I've been thinking about corporate entities as organisms.
Questions include "What makes one bleed?"
Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 11:05:32 -0800
--------
>>Stang enscribed on some dead zombie
>>flesh: Sheıs pretty far along, has already been on >>digs in Syria.
Oh yeah,
I would pass on to her to not dig to deep in Syria this time
of the Century!
Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 11:01:30 -0800
--------
>>Not a joke this time. Well. You know what I mean.
>>My niece, Jessica, is in college in Boston, studying anthropology
and
history. Sheıs pretty far along, has already been on digs in Syria.
Sheıs doing a paper on, if I have this right, how Americans form
communities clubs, sects, neighborhoods, what-have-you -- and she
decided to look into the Church as an example. Her prof agreed with her
that it was a unique one. I told her Iıd help her do some rough
surveys
>>of us.
>>She understands that some SubGenii are uh shall we say REALLY REALLY
into ³Bob,² especially the hating The Others part, whereas some
SubGeniuses are simply exploiting various aspects of the magic carpet
>>that His Majesty J.R. ³Bob²Dobbs tricked us into weaving for
ourselves.
Sheıs wondering what draws people into it, what they variously get out
of it, what causes it to function so much like any other real
community, only not.
>>I guess you can put answers as replies here, and Iıll forward them
to
her. Or you can email them to s...@subgenius.com if you donıt want to
be public with honest answers.
>>I am NOT going to publish the email address of my NIECE for YOU
RABBLE.
If you have any other ideas, weıd love to hear em. We thought about
using Survey Monkey and still might.
>>SUBG SURVEY QUESTIONS
>>AGE
LOCATION
SEX/GENDER
MARITAL STATUS
NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY
EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
JOB
>>How did you find out about the Church?
(Hmm, I already asked this myself a month ago, Iıll send her those
TOO.)
>>Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events, or
mostly just online, activity, etc.)
>>Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
>>Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
I can see how there MIGHT be the occasional FUNNY answer for some of
these questions as well as, uh, eh, ³serious² ones. >>Try BOTH!
I haven't thought about any of this stuff. I joined
the Church so I don't have to think. And
now you're asking me to be "serious". This
is all very "confusing". I'll send you an
email of my "real" answers for her. I
don't want to make Nenslo embarrassed,
or smile for no reason!
Bela Lugosi quote goes here
"________________".
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 14:51:10 -0500
--------
In article <1111602345.237493.10220@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>, just
john wrote:
> You're SURE she's not a marketing major?
>
AHAHA!
That was quick.
She's cool, don't worry. If I posted a photo of her you young guys and
perverts would be falling all over yourselves to impress her with your
earnestness.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 16:02:12 -0800
--------
SUBG SURVEY QUESTIONS
AGE : Old enough to know better, young enough not to give a shit. (44)
LOCATION : Delaware, home to World's Largest Mortuary, The DuPont's,
your credit card company, and 300 Million Chieckens
SEX/GENDER : Sex, not enough. Please forward Neices phone number,
Gender:Male (Silverback)
MARITAL STATUS: Part Time Marrital aid, full time single
NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY : none, court order
EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND : 16 years, up the 4th Grade
JOB :sadly, yes.
How did you find out about the Church?
(Hmm, I already asked this myself a month ago, Iıll send her those
TOO.) Via the "Cult of DEVO" In 1981, I saw DEVO in concert in Austin,
TX. Got my first Vision of "Bob" in Stang's "Love Without Anger" Video.
in 1995, found out about Church via AOL's old DEVO Board. The rest is a
long blur.
Are you a Member? If so, for how long? Yes, Since 1998 or 1999. Can't
Remember
What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events, or
mostly just online, activity, etc.) on-line, X-Day, tits, giving
Pamplets to Morman Missionaries.
Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer? "Bob" offers
nothing, promises everything and stabs you in the back every chance he
gets. Just what the First Baptist Church of Dover did to my Mom. Only I
only had to pay theone time fee of $30. Mom ended up giving more then
she could afford.
What do you think characterizes a SubGenius? Skepticalism, fed up with
the stupidity of the "modern world". Seeing through the bUllshit of the
Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 17:51:58 -0700
--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
>
> ³serious²
Darn it, now *you're doing to too. That thing with the
superscript numbers instead of good old fashioned
quotation marks.
Cut it out. Something bad will happen, like involking
some monster from the pit or something. And the only
way to control it will be to put in in a cage made of
quotation marks.
--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
Come to think of it, I would really feel no guilt
whatsoever in killing brain-eating zombies before
they could eat my brain. In fact, why wait until
they're zombies? It's pretty easy to tell just by
looking who's going to turn into a zombie. If
they're all curled up on the floor yelling "Don't
shoot me! Don't shoot me!", they're a lot easier
to kill then when they're trying to eat your brain
and you have to shoot them a bunch of time before
they stop trying to eat your brain.
--nu-monet
Posted by:: "Giles"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 17:02:12 -0800
--------
nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
> Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
> >
> > ³serious²
>
> Darn it, now *you're doing to too. That thing with the
> superscript numbers instead of good old fashioned
> quotation marks.
>
> Cut it out. Something bad will happen, like involking
> some monster from the pit or something. And the only
> way to control it will be to put in in a cage made of
> quotation marks.
>
>
You have your CHARACTER ENCODING set to UNICODE (UTF-8)!
Set it back to Cyrillic or else!
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:00:25 -0500
--------
In article <1111626132.253898.229950@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>,
Giles wrote:
> nu-monet v7.0 wrote:
> > Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
> > >
> > > ³serious²
> >
> > Darn it, now *you're doing to too. That thing with the
> > superscript numbers instead of good old fashioned
> > quotation marks.
> >
> > Cut it out. Something bad will happen, like involking
> > some monster from the pit or something. And the only
> > way to control it will be to put in in a cage made of
> > quotation marks.
> >
> >
> You have your CHARACTER ENCODING set to UNICODE (UTF-8)!
> Set it back to Cyrillic or else!
>
Yeah man, fix thine own character armor.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 07:20:26 -0700
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> Yeah man, fix thine own character armor.
But I *like* having my character set on Western
(Latin-1). It makes everybody write like William
F. Buckley.
And, when you figure out that the Latin expressions,
like "Quam se ipse amans-sine rivali! - Himself
loving himself so much-without a rival!", basically
just means that he's a mirror-masturbator, you've
got it licked.
I have no idea what any of you are actually typing
or if you even speak English. I just assume that
it is all xlated into English or Latin, like it is
with babelfish.
I would hate to think what you would be reading if
you set your character set to Dumbass or Po'bucker.
All you would see would be a bunch of assholes
flaming each other, posting crappy links, and it
wouldn't even automatically killfilter stalkers and
other nutcases. You would think that everybody who
posts to alt.slack is a redneck moron or something.
--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
Come to think of it, I would really feel no guilt
whatsoever in killing brain-eating zombies before
they could eat my brain. In fact, why wait until
they're zombies? It's pretty easy to tell just by
looking who's going to turn into a zombie. If
they're all curled up on the floor yelling "Don't
shoot me! Don't shoot me!", they're a lot easier
to kill then when they're trying to eat your brain
and you have to shoot them a bunch of times before
they stop trying to eat your brain.
--nu-monet
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 08:59:54 -0500
--------
In article <42420F2E.6CDC@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v7.0
wrote:
> Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
> >
> > ³serious²
>
> Darn it, now *you're doing to too. That thing with the
> superscript numbers instead of good old fashioned
> quotation marks.
>
> Cut it out. Something bad will happen, like involking
> some monster from the pit or something. And the only
> way to control it will be to put in in a cage made of
> quotation marks.
I think it's YOU! His quotes look quite , uh, "NORMAL" 2 me.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 17:29:41 -0800
--------
>Subgeniuses are unwilling, incapable, or both of being what they are
>supposed to be.
BINGO.
>That's about as exciting as picking up the house phone at Caesar's
Palace
>and paging yourself!
>I got laid that way once.
See? Lies and lie-like behavior. Works every time...
Posted by:: "Wayneth"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 17:31:31 -0800
--------
> AGE
16
> LOCATION
Bumfuck, AK
> SEX/GENDER
Male
> MARITAL STATUS
Very,Very single
> NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY
None
> EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
High School
> JOB
Working for whoever will pay me
> How did you find out about the Church?
Browsing wikipedia and it popped up
> Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
Not yet, but hopefully soon
> What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events,
or
> mostly just online, activity, etc.)
Does Excremeditation count?
> Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
Not even remotely appealing, and it offers nothing at all, except a
constant supply of slack when i feel devoid of it.
> What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
Unwillingness to do anything in general, except pay 30 dollars
> Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
I am a part of the Great Discordian Cabal of the Kenai Peninsula in The
Southernmost Part of The Kenai Peninsula. (Check a map)
Posted by:: John Cook
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2005 20:44:34 +1000
--------
Wayneth wrote:
>>AGE
>
> 16
>
>>LOCATION
>
> Bumfuck, AK
>
>>SEX/GENDER
>
> Male
>
>>MARITAL STATUS
>
> Very,Very single
>
>>NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY
>
> None
>
>>EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
>
> High School
>
>>JOB
>
> Working for whoever will pay me
>
>>How did you find out about the Church?
>
> Browsing wikipedia and it popped up
>
>>Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
>
> Not yet, but hopefully soon
>
>>What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events,
>
> or
>
>>mostly just online, activity, etc.)
>
> Does Excremeditation count?
>
>>Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
>
> Not even remotely appealing, and it offers nothing at all, except a
> constant supply of slack when i feel devoid of it.
>
>>What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
>
> Unwillingness to do anything in general, except pay 30 dollars
>
>>Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
>
> I am a part of the Great Discordian Cabal of the Kenai Peninsula in The
> Southernmost Part of The Kenai Peninsula. (Check a map)
>
Start posting to alt.slack.goathead (if u can - otherwise be brave and
post here - all these old bastards need stirring...
(Soooo fukin' geriatricly BORING these days...)
ps u are cool
--
John Cook
The Bandwidth of reality is Wonderfully wide
Posted by:: John Cook
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2005 20:52:29 +1000
--------
John Cook wrote:
> Wayneth wrote:
>>> AGE
>> 16
>>> LOCATION
>> Bumfuck, AK
>>> SEX/GENDER
>> Male
>>> MARITAL STATUS
>> Very,Very single
>>> NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY
>> None
>>> EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
>> High School
>>> JOB
>> Working for whoever will pay me
>>> How did you find out about the Church?
>> Browsing wikipedia and it popped up
>>> Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
>> Not yet, but hopefully soon
>>> What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events,
>>> or mostly just online, activity, etc.)
>> Does Excremeditation count?
>>> Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
>> Not even remotely appealing, and it offers nothing at all, except a
>> constant supply of slack when i feel devoid of it.
>>> What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
>> Unwillingness to do anything in general, except pay 30 dollars
>>> Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
>> I am a part of the Great Discordian Cabal of the Kenai Peninsula in The
>> Southernmost Part of The Kenai Peninsula. (Check a map)
> Start posting to alt.slack.goathead (if u can - otherwise be brave and
> post here - all these old bastards need stirring...
> (Soooo fukin' geriatricly BORING these days...)
> ps u are cool
How Pathetic was that! - forgot to cross post...
--
John Cook
The Bandwidth of reality is Wonderfully wide
Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 23 Mar 2005 18:02:02 -0800
--------
(sound of knuckles cracking...)
AGE: I was born in 1980 and I've been forced to keep very close records
of how much time has passed since then, so it seems I'm 25. Although I
don't specifically recall the event of my own birth, so it could all be
bullshit and I might be 50.
(no, we can't just say AGE: 25 and leave it at that. Most can't. We
have to elaborate on everything while beating every dead horse we can
possibly find. That's how we roll.)
LOCATION: State College, Pennsylvania, Home of Paul Casino and his
trained cadre' of scantily clad kamakazie ninja chicks with no gag
reflexes. Hells yeah, most of that was a lie.
SEX: I'm totally a dude, unless struck in the face, at which point my
girly-like spastic convulsions would convince my own mother that I have
no penis. Other that that, I'm all man, save for my left big toe, which
I've been told is "dainty".
MARITAL STATUS: I have a harem, what does that count as?
NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY: None...THAT I KNOW OF!
Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha..No, I can't get laid. I'm gonna keep lying through
my teeth to chicks though, that seems to be the generally accepted
method. Oh, "Not all guys!" you say? Yeah, keep thinking that. You
found the one that doesn't. And if all else fails, slip 'er a mickey!
EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND: I guess I'm in college, if you call smoking pot
and sleeping 'til noon "college". Seems that your definition may differ
from mine. You're missing out.
JOB: Post Apocalyptic Whipping Boy of the Gods. And I manage the front
desk at the hotel. But vigilantie-ism comes first.
>How did you find out about the Church?
I told that story a while ago, it's in the thing.
>Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
My $30 is in the mail, "Bob", I swear!
>What SubGenius-related events to you participate in?
I do a Sub-Genius inspired radio show called "Third Rail Radio" on
WPSU. And I just got ride confirmation to X-Day, so you're all gonna
have to deal with my shit there, too.
>Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
Honest answer time: I spent the majority of my conscious life walking
around, thinking I'm the only one "like this". I have an odd taste in
music, humor, art and movies. I'm creative and half-way intellegent and
I've never been afraid to express that. I like goofy, immature and
weird shit just for kicks. I'm capable of snapping like a Vietnam vet
on PCP one second and being able to pass a sobriety test with flying
colors the next. People look at me and tell me that I'm an "eccentric".
And from ages 5-16 or so, I seriously thought that I'd never find
anyone who was remotely close to understanding my crazy brain.
And then I found "Bob".
What does being a SubGenius offer? Well, you can rest easy tonight
knowing that your uncle created something that made me see that I AM
NOT ALONE. Being a SubGenius gives me a feeling of "unity for the
weird". It's a chance for a habitual non-joiner to feel what it's like
to be a part of something bigger than himself, to express himself
freely and to not feel so self-conscious that I'm the only one this
screwed up in the skull.
And it's kinda funny sometimes, too, but you have to be good and high.
>What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
We all have slack. That's a bit of a cop-out answer, but it's really
the best one I can give. We all have this...thing. I can get it from
just reading the posts, how they think and what the think about. It's
an indefinable, but an unmistakenly familiar one. Sorry that I can't
give a better answer, but that's it. You have it or you don't, you're
one of us or you're not. That's as simple as I can put it.
>Are you a member of any other organizations?
The Giant Penis Club.
>What type are they?
Take a wild guess.
Posted by:: "iDRMRSR"
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 23:46:06 -0500
--------
AGE: 55 as humans reckon
LOCATION: Around the corner from "Uncle" Doug (honest)
SEX: One of each (type of chromosome...you do the math)
MARITAL STATUS: Been there, done that.
KIDS: 1 adopted
EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND: 2yrs college afore I got exposed to computers and
that was the end of it
JOB: Computer stuff, retired from that and soaking in Slack now
HOW: "Bob" stickers all over town eventually led to the internet in 1995
MEMBER: Yes, since 1999
EVENTS: X day and any number of Devivals for several years now
APPEAL: Life's reversals convinced me this is all an elaborate joke. We
are all pawns on this earth of forces over which we have no control, hence
it's good enough to appoint "Bob" as the Epopt. He's got a nice smile while
he's giving it to you, unlike most of the other fantasies worshipped by
other humans. And he exists in a more tactile way than any of his
competitors. And you can kick him around when you are angry without fear of
retribution.
WHAT CHARACTERIZES: Generally, a failure to marshal the forces and
discipline required to maintain vigorous materialism perhaps not so much in
gathering as in bonding thereto. You can curse the darkness, or light a
candle; but I think a SubGenius would rather laugh in the dark. It's that
smile thing.
OTHER MEMBERSHIPS: AARP, Republican Party (honest)
[*]
-----
Posted by:: John Cook
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 13:41:06 +1000
--------
iDRMRSR wrote:
a nice abbreviation:
> AGE: 55 as humans reckon
50 which means I'm officially Old - so Fuck U - I do what I want.
> LOCATION: Around the corner from "Uncle" Doug (honest)
I live in paradise - be silly to mention names - backPackers tourist
town - on the coral coast of Oz - local to visitor ratio about 1 : 3 on
average - when I get a bottle of milk I stand in line with babes talking
german or danish wearing bikini tops and sarongs - and HAPPY... EVERY
FUCKIN" TIME!
Like a small very frendly country town with nite-clubs. There is an
amazing number of non-pinks among the locals. Been here 5 years and
know everyone - they Don't care that I'm strange - lots of odd ppl round
here.
Last night I went down the road to get KFC (Yes and we have a maccer's
to) and the chickybabe stuffed 4 pieces in my two piece pack and
smiled... this is a GOOD Slack town.
Anyway - the Point is that It's VERY hard to hate everyone around here
I Do understand this is unusual - ppl go away for a while and come back
shell shocked...
> SEX: One of each (type of chromosome...you do the math)
yup - ok male
> MARITAL STATUS: Been there, done that.
ditto
> KIDS: 1 adopted
3.5 (3 @ 50% genetics 1 @ 25%)
Spent the last decade living on sole parent welfare raising my 3 then
the oldest had perfect baby and couldn't handle it - so I did... (He is
SUCH a Yeti!)
Actually they all are.
> EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND: 2yrs college afore I got exposed to computers and
In Oz they call it the university of hard knocks - the real world -
learning on the job or just figuring it out for yourself...
I've done a Lot of things.
> JOB: Computer stuff, retired from that and soaking in Slack now
I Won't work for the con. I'm developing an invention and dabbling in
sculpture and generally being slack.
> HOW: "Bob" stickers all over town eventually led to the internet in 1995
Was feeling like a freak of nature more intensely than usual one morning
- did a yahoo search for "Genius" and some other words... - found the
site of Rev Nikki DeathChick - got talking to her.
> MEMBER: Yes, since 1999
I first didn't join back in '98/'99
> EVENTS: X day and any number of Devivals for several years now
No
> APPEAL:
Everybody gotta hava Home
> WHAT CHARACTERIZES:
We are born not made - we are usually damaged (particularly when still
young) from the process of child 'raising' that, in the case of a yeti
child, is similar to foot binding.
We have always existed - they have always... well u know what they do to
us. A Yeti invented fire - they burned him. Then they forgot how to
make fire and went cold till another poor bastard yeti came along...
More specifically - Yeti's are intelligent, honest, rational, creative,
lateral thinking ppl and tend to have a very high Give A Fuck factor.
Watch this ng to see them all pretending to be the opposite...
That's part of the joke...
To boil it down to one attribute I would say we tend to have TOO much
lateral in our thinking...
> OTHER MEMBERSHIPS: AARP, Republican Party (honest)
VIP card at local pub
Library card
John Cook
The BandWidth of reality is Wonderfully wide...
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:09:29 -0500
--------
In article <1111627499.980732.297750@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com>,
Paul Casino wrote:
>
> >Are you a member of any other organizations?
>
> The Giant Penis Club.
>
> >What type are they?
>
> Take a wild guess.
>
Now this is a young man who paid attention to what I was sayng and
heeded well.
It really is my niece and if you saw a picture of her you guys truly
would get all wobbly-kneed and stumbling over yourselves trying to
impress her.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 10:53:46 -0800
--------
> >Are you a member of any other organizations?
> The Giant Penis Club.
> >What type are they?
> Take a wild guess.
Now this is a young man who paid attention to what I was sayng and
heeded well.
If only it wasn't the biggest lie I've ever told...
Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 11:55:27 -0800
--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> It really is my niece and if you saw a picture of her you guys truly
> would get all wobbly-kneed and stumbling over yourselves trying to
> impress her.
The average "male" subgenius gets like that over the picture on a can of
Alpo. This is not a reflection upon your niece. Just saying, is all.
Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 16:04:14 -0800
--------
>average "male" subgenius gets like that over the picture on a can of
>Alpo.
Alright, look asshole. YOU PROMISED that you wouldn't tell anyone about
that time I woke up drunk on your kitchen floor with my wang burried in
a can of dog food. It WANTED me to, it was ASKING for it. Coming out of
the cabinet drawer dressed like that, in that halter-top label,
flirting with me, batting those eyelashes. I'M JUST A MAN, for christ's
sake!
Posted by:: "Doktor Dark"
Date: 24 Mar 2005 02:44:25 -0800
--------
So did she
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 09:26:39 -0500
--------
THANKS FOR THE ANSWERS! I think we got 15 or so between this and email.
MUCH appreciated. I am just now forwarding all of it to her, email by
email. Chances are I'll be able to reprint her final paper here for ya!
But keep 'em coming... she has until May.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 07:31:58 -0700
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> THANKS FOR THE ANSWERS! I think we got 15 or so
> between this and email.
In all fairness, I hope you get input from female
Yetisyny, too. It just wouldn't be right for them
to think that we are all only male dorks.
--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
"I can imagine a LOT when it comes
to unimaginable power."
-- nu-monet
Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 11:55:51 -0500
--------
In article <4242CF5E.5744@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v7.0
wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
> > THANKS FOR THE ANSWERS! I think we got 15 or so
> > between this and email.
>
> In all fairness, I hope you get input from female
> Yetisyny, too. It just wouldn't be right for them
> to think that we are all only male dorks.
You know how the Connietites are. "THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WOMEN
PARTICIPATING AND IT'S ALL YOU MEN'S FAULT!" "IF YOU HAD CONNIE STUFF
IN THE CATALOG I'D BUY IT ALL!" and other Voodoo Whines and Lies.
--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
Posted by:: nikolai kingsley
Date: Fri, 25 Mar 2005 04:21:29 +1100
--------
> You know how the Connietites are. "THERE AREN'T ENOUGH WOMEN
> PARTICIPATING AND IT'S ALL YOU MEN'S FAULT!" "IF YOU HAD CONNIE STUFF
> IN THE CATALOG I'D BUY IT ALL!" and other Voodoo Whines and Lies.
how hard could it be to manufacture a limited run of "Bob" vibrators?
the pipe could be a little painful, though. might have to stylise it.
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 17:26:44 GMT
--------
AGE: 50
LOCATION: Down in a 'billygoon holler
SEX/GENDER: Devout dog-styler/male Yeti
MARITAL STATUS: Quite civily divorced
NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY: Sweet Crom, none, I hope, I think.
EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND: 27 hours o' college credits, lost in the fog
Back There
JOB: Working on being a more productive freak, which trumps all others.
I am mostly a drain on Society, but They started draining me first, so I
stopped feeling guilty about it some time ago because it wasn't MY idea.
>>How did you find out about the Church?
I was doing a public radio show from 8-11 a.m. in Houston, Texas and
one morning, a cat with slicked-down hair and clad in ALL, I mean ALL
white, from shirt to dress shoes. He handed me one of Doug's first few
Media Barrages and said "YOU're a Subgenius and just don't know it yet!"
That was one of the many members who have come and gone over the years,
Rev. D. Lee Llama. I began playing this GREAT WILD STUFF in sections on
my shows and followed the P.O. Box back up the headwaters to this
absolutely bizarre meld of everything in the world that is Stupid and a
set of skewers that are used to puncture that Stupidity and let some of
the gas out. Lately, the gas comes in much greater volumes, so its more
tiring work to poke for "Bob" than it used to be.
>>Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
Yeah, 'bout 25 years now. So long that 90% of my former head hair is
now on my back.
>>>What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events, or
mostly just online, activity, etc.)
Mostly online, as I am in the middle of the country, whereas most
members are on the coasts; I can only rarely afford to fly to the north
& northeastern locales in which Devivals almost always occur, although
I've been to a fistful and performed onstage at the last few I attended.
For the very first time in my betentacled life, I have the means to
make clean recordings of my "rants" and original synthesizer music, so
I'm posting bits as mp3s, about to have a webpage for some examples and
am within a couple of months of making coherent CDs of Wonderful Evil
Art-Things You Must Buy. That will be woven into the World of Dobbs at
some low remains-to-be-seen level. Audio and graphic art are vital to
the Ministry, since "Bob" doesn't provide Doug with anything like a
living wage and keeps paying him off with Russian car parts and crates
of foreign foods that taste like shoes or Creomulsion.
>>>Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
Its a very colorful illusion of counterculture fellowship sustained by
a widely varying ability among its more active members to write
coherently, since its 98% Net-centric. He who laughs last has the best
vocabulary, the strangest or more polished creative skill(s) and a
certain force of personality that draws those who like the energy, the
reflected tin-foil fame and the appalling humor.
What it offers is simply a very creative vent for both social
frustration and artistic ventures that often have great range and merit,
even when "bad" on purpose for a joke, although most of it isn't ready
for prime time. In fact, a small Dobbshead on the Pee-Wee Herman Show
bulletin board is one of the more glamorous real-world instances of the
Church... there and gone in a flash.
I am soberly convinced that if you stood up before a random audience
taken off the street, simply read out loud a variety of SubGenius essays
or a selection of posts to its Internet groups and polled their
reactions, they would range from blankness to intense laughter to
disgust to a slap in the face. 2 people out of 100 will quietly come up
after the show and ask how to join.
>>>What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
With a few narcissistic, semi-carnivorous exceptions, its mostly people
who never quite fit in anywhere else or who are fringe, Renaissance-Man
types who Know Too Much to handle a typical office job without
strangling someone within 3 weeks. Many are above average in
intelligence and revolted by convention due to its rigid and corrosive
effects when applied with excessive pressure, as it so commonly is. Some
can pass as OK-Joes in "polite society;" others go mad and have to take
alternate routes of employment that do a dog-leg around the 9-to-5, out
of self-defense. Its tight young girls who haven't yet learned that
flashing your tits at some poor mossback isn't the same as being
sensual, which has a much longer and hotter shelf-life. Its territorial
geeks who defend their one or two central mental-support pins like
mother bears, moreso when they are wrong. Its the brilliant but clumsy;
new-age idiots with fuzzy or even bankrupt belief systems;
semi-dangerous morons who think "Bob" is a real person, or that THEY are
"Bob," which is worse; a few classy, professional fast-trackers lightly
slumming for a breath of fresh mutant air; damaged folk who are less
obviously damaged in a group of the damaged; the just plain zesty who
feed from and then refuel the flames of the central fun; and those who
decided to make freakery a lifestyle because its the high point in their
character. Its non-traditional people trying to fulfill their clan-need.
It often expresses the defiance of the dispossessed, hell, even DAILY on
alt.slack, heh. That's its glory AND its downfall, both of which can
occur within 24 hours of one another.
>>>Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
I was "in" Pacifica for 7 years, but largely as a radio host and not a
politically-motivated sort. I have mixed political views, but Pacifica
showed me what galling and transparent fools serious hippie-style
liberals can be. Practicality inevitably lost ground to personal
philosophy, which mean jack to the meter reader. Liberalism and
Conservatism, as philosophies, were left in the dust decades ago when
they became throat-slitting knives with only slightly different handles.
You can join a movement or a group, but you can't really join an
implement of destruction.
I was in MENSA for a couple of years, but the high-end arrogance became
as galling as that found in
many churches. In the Church of the SubGenius, the arrogance is
established up front and believes in humor, so it trounces "organized"
religion by 9-to-1 among people who, when polled, say "What's a
SubGenius?"
I also worked in a chicken-rendering plant as a teenaged werewolf for
the FBI between March of 1988 and June of 1991.
--
HellPope Huey
God is my co-pilot
and winged monkeys on the window ledge
are my spell-checkers.
My life, my real life, was in danger
and not from anything other people might do
but from the hatred I carried in my own heart.
- James Baldwin, "Notes From a Native Son"
"If I shot every person who told me I sucked,
I'd be a serial killer."
- Judy Gold
Posted by:: "kdetal"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 21:22:23 -0800
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> SUBG SURVEY QUESTIONS
>
> AGE
If you're female and over 25 it no longer matters.
> LOCATION
East Coast
> SEX/GENDER
Female
> MARITAL STATUS
Single
> NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY
Nada
> EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Masters
> JOB
Yes
> How did you find out about the Church?
> (Hmm, I already asked this myself a month ago, Iıll send her those
TOO.)
A long and arduous path. It was so NOT worth it!
Something like: realizing I was surrounded by idiots as a child led me
to read, reading-> science fiction-> spiritual-> astral -> magick ->
Thelema -> philosophy-> physics-> RAW -> Leary -> discordianism ->
subgenius
> Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
I'm not even a card carrying member of the human race.
However,I seem to be rather subG from birth.
> What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events,
or
> mostly just online, activity, etc.)
Only the newsgroup.
> Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
Anti-group group. Anti-business business. Anti-people humanitarians.
Highly intelligent anti-intellectuals. Anti-kook kooks. The right
combination of humor, intelligence, pathos and complete stupidity.
Distillation of Ginsu-like Wit.
> What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
Recognizing MOE. Giving Larry a swift kick in the ass. Helping Curly
up, but only through major ridicule. Selling the episode to Shemp.
> Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
I am a member of an organization that does not have members.
Posted by:: "kdetal"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 21:39:22 -0800
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> SUBG SURVEY QUESTIONS
> AGE
If you're female and over 25 it no longer matters.
> LOCATION
East Coast
> SEX/GENDER
Female
> MARITAL STATUS
Single
> NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY
Nada
> EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Masters
> JOB
Yes
> How did you find out about the Church?
A long and arduous path. It was so NOT worth it.
Realizing I was surrounded by idiots as a child led me to read,
reading-> science fiction-> spiritual-> astral -> magick -> Thelema ->
philosophy-> physics-> RAW -> Leary -> discordianism -> subgenius.
> Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
I'm not even a card carrying member of the human race.
However,I seem to be rather SubG from birth.
> What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events,
or mostly just online, activity, etc.)
Only the newsgroup.
> Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
Anti-group group. Anti-business business. Anti-people humanitarians.
Highly intelligent anti-intellectuals. Anti-kook kooks. The right
combination of humor, intelligence, pathos and complete stupidity.
Distillation of Ginsu-like Wit.
> What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
Recognizing MOE. Giving Larry a swift kick in the ass. Helping Curly
up, but only through major ridicule. Selling the episode to Shemp.
> Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
I am a member of an organization that does not have members.
Posted by:: "kdetal"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 22:16:36 -0800
--------
kdetal wrote:
> > How did you find out about the Church?
> A long and arduous path. It was so NOT worth it.
>
> Realizing I was surrounded by idiots as a child led me to read,
> reading-> science fiction-> spiritual-> astral -> magick -> Thelema
->
> philosophy-> physics-> RAW -> Leary -> discordianism -> subgenius.
Wait, it was philosophy-> RAW/Leary -> physics-> discordianism ->
subgenius.
Well, thats not quite right either. What the hell do you want. Linear
time is sooo last century.
Discordianism was only a blip. I heard it from someone, looked it up
somewhere, found Subgenius referred to, wandered into SubG and never
went back.
Posted by:: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel"
Date: 26 Mar 2005 12:30:18 -0800
--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Not a joke this time. Well. You know what I mean.
>
>[Help Stanky's niece do her homework.]
>
Surely
> SUBG SURVEY QUESTIONS
>
> AGE
38.
> LOCATION
Tacoma, WA, USA.
> SEX/GENDER
Male. Straight. Ugly.
> MARITAL STATUS
Nope. Never.
> NUMBER OF CHILDREN, IF ANY
Precisely zero.
> EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Graduated High School. Dropped out of college twice.
> JOB
>
Shipping clerk for ceramics supply warehouse.
> How did you find out about the Church?
> (Hmm, I already asked this myself a month ago, Iıll send her those
TOO.)
>
Heard about it from an alleged friend twenty years ago. Didn't really
investigate it until about 5 years ago.
Most of my inital information came form SubSite and alt.slack.
> Are you a Member? If so, for how long?
Yes.
Since Oct. 12, 1999.
(Yep. A year and five months after the End of the World. Go Figure.)
>
> What SubGenius-related events to you participate in? (i.e., events,
or
> mostly just online, activity, etc.)
>
Mostly yelling and screaming on alt.slack. The occaisinal "Live-action"
Seattle event. Working up rants and philisophical writings that I'll
never publish, even here.
> Why is being a SubGenius appealing? What does it offer?
I don't have a serious answer to this, and any possible "joke" answer
has already been done to death. Next question please.
>
> What do you think characterizes a SubGenius?
Distrust of the system, *any* system. Hyperinflated ego pardoxically
paired with a highly developed concern for others. An unusual interest
in Giant Robots.
>
> Are you a member of any other organizations? What type are they?
>
Define "organization".
Other than the obvious: my employer, my local governments, and my
videocasette co-op, I'd say the only other organization I belong to is
one of my own invention: The Tactical Buddha Institute.
>
> I can see how there MIGHT be the occasional FUNNY answer for some of
> these questions as well as, uh, eh, ³serious² ones. Try BOTH!
>
She's got a paper due, and perfessors tend not to have a sense of humor
about such things...
--
C.