The OTHER OTHER OTHER Subgenius Survey
Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 25 Mar 2005 17:37:30 -0800
--------
1) Please rate Ivan Stang on the following scale:
1: Burned out old hippie
2: Complete jackass
3: drunking wino who wallows in the gutter in a puddle of his own
urine
4: The only hope for mankind
2) How did "Bob" first manifest himself to you?
A: Sold me vinyl siding even though I don't own a house
B: Woke up next to him in bed after a all night bender
C: Match.com hooked us up
D: We were linked together by a common bond of labor and honor
while working on a chain gang at Devil's Island
3) If "Bob" told you to wire me $100 would you do it?
(If yes, please contact me via E-Mail for delivery details)
4) My church membership has provided me with:
A: A life time career in fast Food Entropy management.
B: A second career in as a "Fluff Girl"
C: An excuse make up fake on-line surveys
D: NOTHING BUT STANG BUGGING US TO BY SHIT OFF THE SUBSITE!
5) What other benefits has Church Membership Given you?
A: Lost Security Clearance
B: Frequent visits by the FBI
C: The reasureing idea that all my mail has been opened by a postal
inspector
D: Tha chance to communicate with Nenslo
6) I would recomend the Church of the Subgenius to:
A: My Doctor
B: My CIA Torturers after 7 hours of having electrodes attached to
my genitals.
C: That homeless guy who smells bad and pushes that shopping cart
around town all day.
D: The Bush Twins
7) I would compare my Church experiance to:
A: A little piece of Heaven on Earth
B: A little piece of Cookie that Dok Frop "tea-bagged"
C: A little piece of tail on the side
D: Having my wisdom teeth extracted by a bunch of chimps using
rusty garden tools and accessing them via my anus.
8) This Church needs more:
A: Sex
B: Frop
C: large breasted women
D: All of the above.
9) This Church needs less:
A: "Surveys"
B: Nenslo
C: Nenslo
D: All of the above
10) What wayd could the Church expand its outreach to the huddled
Slackless masses (or the ones with money anyway)
A: Live Gladiator games in which Lawyer fight to the death for the
right to sue Stang
B: Start our own Cable TV Network run by Dr. Dark
C: Tell them "It the latest Cool Trend"
D: Just steal their credit cards, to hell with their slack!
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 03:56:06 GMT
--------
In article <1111801050.742037.25130@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>,
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote:
> 1) Please rate Ivan Stang on the following scale:
>
> 1: Burned out old hippie
> 2: Complete jackass
> 3: drunking wino who wallows in the gutter in a puddle of his own
> urine
> 4: The only hope for mankind
>
> 2) How did "Bob" first manifest himself to you?
>
> A: Sold me vinyl siding even though I don't own a house
> B: Woke up next to him in bed after a all night bender
> C: Match.com hooked us up
> D: We were linked together by a common bond of labor and honor
> while working on a chain gang at Devil's Island
............
I bow to your superior perversion for ONE WEEK. You got the spirit of
the thing dead-on, whereas the rest of we pathetic, grunting,
shit-slinging ape-Outmodes gave something resembling straight answers.
WE DIDN'T SUFFICIENTLY GET IT
YOU GOT IT
WE FELLATE THE DEAD YOU ROCK
YOU ARE MOE WE ARE CURLY & LARRY
Submiiiiiit.... monkey hindquarters!
--
HellPope Huey
A SubGenius tarot deck
would just be a big fistful of jokers.
Forum follows dysfunction.
Just because you throw pearls before swine
doesn't mean you aren't a pig yourself.
- Saint Nu-Monet
I am done with seriousness for the day.
Back to feces, disfiguration and the Flintstones.
- Rev. kdetal
Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 26 Mar 2005 01:21:08 -0800
--------
>A SubGenius tarot deck
>would just be a big fistful of jokers.
And "Bob" is that one Ace of Spades.
And me? I'm the king of hearts, ladies!
(winks, flashes smile, then inserts gun into mouth and splatters brains
all over wall, because that was a stupid thing to say.)
Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 18:35:35 GMT
--------
In article <1111828868.530475.38060@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com>,
"Paul Casino" wrote:
> >A SubGenius tarot deck
> >would just be a big fistful of jokers.
>
> And "Bob" is that one Ace of Spades.
>
> And me? I'm the king of hearts, ladies!
>
> (winks, flashes smile, then inserts gun into mouth and splatters brains
> all over wall, because that was a stupid thing to say.)
Some women will still be attracted to you because you had the good
grace to do it yourself before they got around to it after a wretched
9-month-long affair that traded in the gossamer wings to Heaven for lead
undies and a dip in the quarry pond. What a catch you are!
--
HellPope Huey
White people doing flamenco
look like cranes on crank
Take your dissonance like a man.
- Charles Ives
"C'mon, wake up and smell the chaos!"
- "The West Wing"
Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 26 Mar 2005 10:52:05 -0800
--------
>What a catch you are!
Well, I AM a coffee achiever....
Posted by:: "Rev Chain Smerker"
Date: Sat, 26 Mar 2005 08:09:59 GMT
--------
"Rev. Richard Skull" wrote in message
news:1111801050.742037.25130@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> 1) Please rate Ivan Stang on the following scale:
>
> 1: Burned out old hippie
> 2: Complete jackass
> 3: drunking wino who wallows in the gutter in a puddle of his own
> urine
> 4: The only hope for mankind
4 & 1 possibly 3 on rare occasions and 2 when needed
>
> 2) How did "Bob" first manifest himself to you?
>
> A: Sold me vinyl siding even though I don't own a house
> B: Woke up next to him in bed after a all night bender
> C: Match.com hooked us up
> D: We were linked together by a common bond of labor and honor
> while working on a chain gang at Devil's Island
B B B B B B B B B B B B B B
>
> 3) If "Bob" told you to wire me $100 would you do it?
> (If yes, please contact me via E-Mail for delivery details)
Yes, sure, as long as "Bob" gave me $200
>
> 4) My church membership has provided me with:
>
> A: A life time career in fast Food Entropy management.
> B: A second career in as a "Fluff Girl"
> C: An excuse make up fake on-line surveys
> D: NOTHING BUT STANG BUGGING US TO BY SHIT OFF THE SUBSITE!
all of the above
>
> 5) What other benefits has Church Membership Given you?
>
> A: Lost Security Clearance
> B: Frequent visits by the FBI
> C: The reasureing idea that all my mail has been opened by a postal
> inspector
> D: Tha chance to communicate with Nenslo
B, D
>
> 6) I would recomend the Church of the Subgenius to:
>
> A: My Doctor
> B: My CIA Torturers after 7 hours of having electrodes attached to
> my genitals.
> C: That homeless guy who smells bad and pushes that shopping cart
> around town all day.
> D: The Bush Twins
B
>
> 7) I would compare my Church experiance to:
>
> A: A little piece of Heaven on Earth
> B: A little piece of Cookie that Dok Frop "tea-bagged"
> C: A little piece of tail on the side
> D: Having my wisdom teeth extracted by a bunch of chimps using
> rusty garden tools and accessing them via my anus.
C, D on a bad day
>
>
> 8) This Church needs more:
>
> A: Sex
> B: Frop
> C: large breasted women
> D: All of the above.
D
>
> 9) This Church needs less:
>
> A: "Surveys"
> B: Nenslo
> C: Nenslo
> D: All of the above
none of the above
>
> 10) What wayd could the Church expand its outreach to the huddled
> Slackless masses (or the ones with money anyway)
>
> A: Live Gladiator games in which Lawyer fight to the death for the
> right to sue Stang
> B: Start our own Cable TV Network run by Dr. Dark
> C: Tell them "It the latest Cool Trend"
> D: Just steal their credit cards, to hell with their slack!
D
Posted by:: "The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel"
Date: 26 Mar 2005 11:38:51 -0800
--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:
> 1) Please rate Ivan Stang on the following scale:
>
> 1: Burned out old hippie
> 2: Complete jackass
> 3: drunking wino who wallows in the gutter in a puddle of his own
> urine
> 4: The only hope for mankind
Yes, please.
>
> 2) How did "Bob" first manifest himself to you?
>
> A: Sold me vinyl siding even though I don't own a house
> B: Woke up next to him in bed after a all night bender
> C: Match.com hooked us up
> D: We were linked together by a common bond of labor and honor
> while working on a chain gang at Devil's Island
"Bob" was my Drill Instructor.
>
> 3) If "Bob" told you to wire me $100 would you do it?
> (If yes, please contact me via E-Mail for delivery details)
You owe the Institute 37 cents.
>
> 4) My church membership has provided me with:
>
> A: A life time career in fast Food Entropy management.
> B: A second career in as a "Fluff Girl"
> C: An excuse make up fake on-line surveys
> D: NOTHING BUT STANG BUGGING US TO BY [sic]SHIT OFF THE SUBSITE!
An excuse to correct people's spelling. "buy", not "by".
>
> 5) What other benefits has Church Membership Given you?
>
> A: Lost Security Clearance
> B: Frequent visits by the FBI
> C: The reasureing idea that all my mail has been opened by a
postal
> inspector
> D: Tha chance to communicate with Nenslo
>
Ag Thuda Myakk zY'G!!!
> 6) I would recomend the Church of the Subgenius to:
>
> A: My Doctor
> B: My CIA Torturers after 7 hours of having electrodes attached
to
> my genitals.
> C: That homeless guy who smells bad and pushes that shopping cart
> around town all day.
> D: The Bush Twins
>
A collection agency.
> 7) I would compare my Church experiance to:
>
> A: A little piece of Heaven on Earth
> B: A little piece of Cookie that Dok Frop "tea-bagged"
> C: A little piece of tail on the side
> D: Having my wisdom teeth extracted by a bunch of chimps using
> rusty garden tools and accessing them via my anus.
>
"Bob" was my Drill Instructor.
>
> 8) This Church needs more:
>
> A: Sex
> B: Frop
> C: large breasted women
> D: All of the above.
>
Something.
> 9) This Church needs less:
>
> A: "Surveys"
> B: Nenslo
> C: Nenslo
> D: All of the above
Something.
>
> 10) What ways could the Church expand its outreach to the huddled
> Slackless masses (or the ones with money anyway)
Digitally altered Paris Hilton screeee captures.
--
C.