Warning: Scariest Horror Film Ever

Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 10:19:18 -0500

--------
Scariest Horror Film Ever:

THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis

This 1970s movie is ostensibly a comedy.

Princess Wei and I had endured such exciting travel adventures in
November and December that we swore we'd rent The Out of Towners as
soon as we could, since we remembered it had something to do with
similar misadventures -- missing planes due to weather, dashing through
airports, getting mugged, getting lost etc. -- I've even broken a tooth
while travelling like Lemmon did in this movie.

My son gave me a NetFlix sub for Xmas and Wei and I have been nabbing
movies that we had on our list, but which had not immeditely surfaced
when we beckoned the waters of alt.binaries.whatever to give up its
treasures. So first things we got were this and Nat. Lampoon's European
Vacation.

We watched about 10 minutes of the Lampoon movie and sent it back to
Netflix. My brain had blanked out how fucking lame that one is.

But The Out-of-Towners had us both TRANSFIXED WITH HORROR from front to
back.

Admittedly, part of the horror was at Sandy Dennis' insufferable
acting. She'd be okay if she could decide on an accent. In this movie
she swoops between a distinct New Joisey to a vedy British accent. Not
once does she or Lemmon ever sound like they're from Ohio, like they're
supposed to sound.

Ohio has several very distinct accents ranging from a Chicago-like
Cleveland urban dullard accent to an almost Texas-like drawl. I never
heard any of these in the Out-of-Towners.

But aside from Ms. Dennis' acting it's a gut-spazmingly suspenseful
horror film. Unusually plausible; everything in it not only CAN but
DOES happen, in real life, and all at once, just as to these
protagonists.

Part of the horror derives from identifying with Lemmon's asshole
character. He's a foul-tempered, impatient, overwrought Pink Boy with
ulcers, and as he gets worse and worse, the Alpha Male viewer becomes
more and more worried that this is the way HE THE VIEWER gets while
travelling. Actually in my case I'm pretty placid because I EXPECT
massive fuck-ups and I always carry a nice sci fi paperback so I can
bear the waiting.

But still.

If you never travel, watch this movie and you'll feel better about
being a homebody. If you DO travel, DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE, as it will
BUM YOU OUT MAJORLY, DUDE. I did not laugh once, but a couple of times
I had to keep myself from throwing up with anxiety. If you like
suspense, and things like Hannibal Lecter movies don't cut it for you,
you might find this old Neil Simon potboiler stimulating. The music by
Quincy Jones is also memorably gagworthy.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Posted by:: "just john"
Date: 7 Mar 2005 07:26:30 -0800

--------
Not to be confused with the H-P ad, "The Out-of-Toners."



Posted by:: "krustymadfaker"
Date: 7 Mar 2005 07:58:39 -0800

--------
>>>Not to be confused with the H-P ad, "The Out-of-Toners." >>>

Or the H.P. Lovecraft underground classic "The
Out-of-Titties-Bounders."

"Politics is the showbiz of industry."
-Frank Zappa



Posted by:: Pope Phil
Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2005 16:37:35 +0000 (UTC)

--------
not to be confused with the SHOCKING remake, featuring somebody or other I can't be bothered to
recall - probably Steve Martin, after he stopped being good

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Scariest Horror Film Ever:
>
> THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis
>
> This 1970s movie is ostensibly a comedy.
>
> Princess Wei and I had endured such exciting travel adventures in
> November and December that we swore we'd rent The Out of Towners as
> soon as we could, since we remembered it had something to do with
> similar misadventures -- missing planes due to weather, dashing through
> airports, getting mugged, getting lost etc. -- I've even broken a tooth
> while travelling like Lemmon did in this movie.
>
> My son gave me a NetFlix sub for Xmas and Wei and I have been nabbing
> movies that we had on our list, but which had not immeditely surfaced
> when we beckoned the waters of alt.binaries.whatever to give up its
> treasures. So first things we got were this and Nat. Lampoon's European
> Vacation.
>
> We watched about 10 minutes of the Lampoon movie and sent it back to
> Netflix. My brain had blanked out how fucking lame that one is.
>
> But The Out-of-Towners had us both TRANSFIXED WITH HORROR from front to
> back.
>
> Admittedly, part of the horror was at Sandy Dennis' insufferable
> acting. She'd be okay if she could decide on an accent. In this movie
> she swoops between a distinct New Joisey to a vedy British accent. Not
> once does she or Lemmon ever sound like they're from Ohio, like they're
> supposed to sound.
>
> Ohio has several very distinct accents ranging from a Chicago-like
> Cleveland urban dullard accent to an almost Texas-like drawl. I never
> heard any of these in the Out-of-Towners.
>
> But aside from Ms. Dennis' acting it's a gut-spazmingly suspenseful
> horror film. Unusually plausible; everything in it not only CAN but
> DOES happen, in real life, and all at once, just as to these
> protagonists.
>
> Part of the horror derives from identifying with Lemmon's asshole
> character. He's a foul-tempered, impatient, overwrought Pink Boy with
> ulcers, and as he gets worse and worse, the Alpha Male viewer becomes
> more and more worried that this is the way HE THE VIEWER gets while
> travelling. Actually in my case I'm pretty placid because I EXPECT
> massive fuck-ups and I always carry a nice sci fi paperback so I can
> bear the waiting.
>
> But still.
>
> If you never travel, watch this movie and you'll feel better about
> being a homebody. If you DO travel, DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE, as it will
> BUM YOU OUT MAJORLY, DUDE. I did not laugh once, but a couple of times
> I had to keep myself from throwing up with anxiety. If you like
> suspense, and things like Hannibal Lecter movies don't cut it for you,
> you might find this old Neil Simon potboiler stimulating. The music by
> Quincy Jones is also memorably gagworthy.
>


Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 10:59:04 -0700

--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> Scariest Horror Film Ever:
>
> THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis
>
> This 1970s movie is ostensibly a comedy.
>

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000493/

You'll note that a bunch of his movies are called
"comedies", but Lemmon himself is *never* funny.
No matter what he's doing, he comes across as just
really tense, type-'A', pissed-off guy who wants to
get to his liquor as soon as possible.

He's always dumped on by everybody. I find his
stuff just plain hard to watch. You'd think a guy
being lovingly hugged by Marilyn Monroe would at
least look a little bit appreciative, or maybe
enjoying himself. But he looks upset, distracted,
worried, etc. It's annoying.


--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
"A stupid movie WILL NOT make you turn
down a blowjob. Simple as that."
-- nu-monet


Posted by:: nikolai kingsley
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 05:22:50 +1100

--------

> He's always dumped on by everybody. I find his
> stuff just plain hard to watch. You'd think a guy
> being lovingly hugged by Marilyn Monroe would at
> least look a little bit appreciative, or maybe
> enjoying himself. But he looks upset, distracted,
> worried, etc. It's annoying.


it's because he was weighed down by the burden of knowing people would
always be comparing him to Daffy Duck, and wondering who came up with
the character first.


Posted by:: Artemia Salina
Date: Mon, 07 Mar 2005 13:39:28 -0500

--------
On Mon, 07 Mar 2005 10:59:04 -0700, nu-monet v7.0 wrote:

[Jack Lemmon]
> You'd think a guy
> being lovingly hugged by Marilyn Monroe would at
> least look a little bit appreciative, or maybe
> enjoying himself. But he looks upset, distracted,
> worried, etc. It's annoying.

This is what that 13 year old kid who complained about
his father's stripper girlfriend will grow up to be like.

--
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0
0:-) Artemia Salina (-:0
0:-) Surrounded by Angels (-:0
0:-) 0:-) 0:-) 0:-) (-:0 (-:0 (-:0 (-:0



Posted by:: "Rev. Richard Skull"
Date: 7 Mar 2005 11:29:14 -0800

--------
I lived the Movie "Planes trains & Automobiles" on just ONE roundtrip
from Philadelphia to Detroit and back!



Posted by:: William Earl Haskell
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 00:33:08 -0600

--------
Rev. Richard Skull wrote:

> I lived the Movie "Planes trains & Automobiles" on just ONE roundtrip
> from Philadelphia to Detroit and back!

Especially that part where you wiped your face with the Fat Obnoxious Guy's
underpants :9


Posted by:: "Assco"
Date: 7 Mar 2005 13:14:09 -0800

--------

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Scariest Horror Film Ever:
>
> THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis...

> Admittedly, part of the horror was at Sandy Dennis' insufferable
> acting. She'd be okay if she could decide on an accent. In this movie
> she swoops between a distinct New Joisey to a vedy British accent.
Not
> once does she or Lemmon ever sound like they're from Ohio, like
they're
> supposed to sound....

To be fair it should be noted that accents change over
that's the way they sounded in, what year? [shit -- what
year was "TOOTers"? Now I have the urge to look that up
-- I saw it as a kid during the first run at Radio City
and twice since -- including a badly edited TV cut;
I haven't seen the remake].

Sandy Dennis is cool. She looked very un-hollywood
and sang real good on that Led Zepplin song.



Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 00:10:13 -0800

--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> Scariest Horror Film Ever:
>
> THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis
>

That was a real good movie review. Try seeing it as a teenager with
your parents in a theatre. I had to see all kinds of damn stuff with my
mom. Suppose They Gave A War and Nobody Came. Stand Up and Be Counted.
The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The
Goodby Girl. With Six You Get Eggroll. *shudder*


Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 10:18:13 -0500

--------
In article <422D5DE4.E186BB50@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> > Scariest Horror Film Ever:
> >
> > THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis
> >
>
> That was a real good movie review. Try seeing it as a teenager with
> your parents in a theatre. I had to see all kinds of damn stuff with my
> mom. Suppose They Gave A War and Nobody Came. Stand Up and Be Counted.
> The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The
> Goodby Girl. With Six You Get Eggroll. *shudder*

I never had to see a single movie you listed above and my memory is
still untainted by them. I am a lucky guy. I am counting my blessings.
My dad took me to see Barbarella when I was only 16 and aside from that
they left me in movie-going peace. So I saw Planet of the Apes 15 times
and typed out every line of dialog after recording the sound in the
theater on a dozen little 4-inch tape reels.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 20:43:42 -0700

--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> ...So I saw Planet of the Apes 15 times
> and typed out every line of dialog after
> recording the sound in the theater on a
> dozen little 4-inch tape reels.

"Everything I know I learned from watching Planet
of the Apes." -- book title

--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/


Posted by:: polar bear
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 00:45:12 -0800

--------
In article <422D5DE4.E186BB50@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> > Scariest Horror Film Ever:
> >
> > THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis
> >
>
> That was a real good movie review. Try seeing it as a teenager with
> your parents in a theatre. I had to see all kinds of damn stuff with my
> mom. Suppose They Gave A War and Nobody Came. Stand Up and Be Counted.
> The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The
> Goodby Girl. With Six You Get Eggroll. *shudder*

My parents took me to see Zulu when I was about ten. It has a scene
where these Zulu broads are dancing about with their bare titties
bouncing up and down. Damn! My eyes near popped out of my head!

pb


Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 10:26:32 -0500

--------
In article <090320050045123725%bear@pole.com>, polar bear
wrote:

> In article <422D5DE4.E186BB50@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> wrote:
>
> > "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > >
> > > Scariest Horror Film Ever:
> > >
> > > THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis
> > >
> >
> > That was a real good movie review. Try seeing it as a teenager with
> > your parents in a theatre. I had to see all kinds of damn stuff with my
> > mom. Suppose They Gave A War and Nobody Came. Stand Up and Be Counted.
> > The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The
> > Goodby Girl. With Six You Get Eggroll. *shudder*
>
> My parents took me to see Zulu when I was about ten. It has a scene
> where these Zulu broads are dancing about with their bare titties
> bouncing up and down. Damn! My eyes near popped out of my head!

I saw that movie in 1999 and that's why I moved to Cleveland.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 10:01:16 -0700

--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> polar bear worted:
>
> > My parents took me to see Zulu when I was about ten.
> > It has a scene where these Zulu broads are dancing
> > about with their bare titties bouncing up and down.
> > Damn! My eyes near popped out of my head!
>
> I saw that movie in 1999 and that's why I moved to
> Cleveland.

Ah! Woooooooooo! Zulus of Cleveland!
Ah Wooooooooo!

--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/

***********
"Remember that it's not paranoia.
That's just what they want you to think."
--nu-monet


Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:50:59 -0800

--------
polar bear wrote:
>
> In article <422D5DE4.E186BB50@yahoox.com>, nenslo
> wrote:
>
> > "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> > >
> > > Scariest Horror Film Ever:
> > >
> > > THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS starring Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis
> > >
> >
> > That was a real good movie review. Try seeing it as a teenager with
> > your parents in a theatre. I had to see all kinds of damn stuff with my
> > mom. Suppose They Gave A War and Nobody Came. Stand Up and Be Counted.
> > The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The
> > Goodby Girl. With Six You Get Eggroll. *shudder*
>
> My parents took me to see Zulu when I was about ten. It has a scene
> where these Zulu broads are dancing about with their bare titties
> bouncing up and down. Damn! My eyes near popped out of my head!
>

I saw movie tits twice in the company of my Mother, and both times felt
weird about it. The first was, agonizingly, in The Prime of Miss Jean
Brodie - what the hell was she taking me to that for, it was worse than
Up The Down Staircase, adult school teacher theme wise. The second time
was a movie called Cat O' Nine Tails, which she wanted to see because it
had James Franciscus in it. It was a Dario Argento movie. Thanks Mom!


Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 9 Mar 2005 03:59:14 -0800

--------
Got you all beat.

TETSUEO THE IRON MAN is the most cuffed up film in the history of
cinema. We found it at our local Hollywood Video in the foreign films
section. It's about a Japannese loser that very slowly and painfully
becomes a robot for seemingly no apparent reason.

Midway through this black and white horror, (it was originally in
color, but turned B&W for being too graphic, a la the "kill everyone"
scene in Kill Bill.) he gets a hooker, and right in the middle of the
sex, his penis turns into a gigantic drill and the obvious follows. It
had three 20 year old white males unable to turn the lights out in the
room for almost two days straight. Absolutely mind destroying.



Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 10:26:33 -0500

--------
In article <1110369554.447041.317630@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
Paul Casino wrote:

> Got you all beat.
>
> TETSUEO THE IRON MAN is the most cuffed up film in the history of
> cinema. We found it at our local Hollywood Video in the foreign films
> section. It's about a Japannese loser that very slowly and painfully
> becomes a robot for seemingly no apparent reason.
>
> Midway through this black and white horror, (it was originally in
> color, but turned B&W for being too graphic, a la the "kill everyone"
> scene in Kill Bill.) he gets a hooker, and right in the middle of the
> sex, his penis turns into a gigantic drill and the obvious follows. It
> had three 20 year old white males unable to turn the lights out in the
> room for almost two days straight. Absolutely mind destroying.
>

Big deal. All the exact same shit that happened in Tetsuo The Iron Man
also happened to me, just as everything in The Out-of-Towners happened
to me, and BELIEVE YOU ME, in REAL LIFE, the stuff in The
Out-of-towners is MUCH WORSE than the stuff in Tetsuo The Iron man.
Hell some rich guys PAY to have the stuff in Tetsuo happen to them.

I have a copy of what somebody told me is the OLD Tetsuo; supposedly it
was remade with more of a budget. The one I have looks like it was
filmed in 16mm on the same kind of gear and budget I had when I was
making hideous underground movies.

It is QUITE a piece of filmmaking, for sure. I was somewhat jealous
when I saw it.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:56:06 -0800

--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
> In article <1110369554.447041.317630@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> Paul Casino wrote:
>
> > Got you all beat.
> >
> > TETSUEO THE IRON MAN is the most cuffed up film in the history of
> > cinema. We found it at our local Hollywood Video in the foreign films
> > section. It's about a Japannese loser that very slowly and painfully
> > becomes a robot for seemingly no apparent reason.
> >
> > Midway through this black and white horror, (it was originally in
> > color, but turned B&W for being too graphic, a la the "kill everyone"
> > scene in Kill Bill.) he gets a hooker, and right in the middle of the
> > sex, his penis turns into a gigantic drill and the obvious follows. It
> > had three 20 year old white males unable to turn the lights out in the
> > room for almost two days straight. Absolutely mind destroying.
> >
>
> Big deal. All the exact same shit that happened in Tetsuo The Iron Man
> also happened to me, just as everything in The Out-of-Towners happened
> to me, and BELIEVE YOU ME, in REAL LIFE, the stuff in The
> Out-of-towners is MUCH WORSE than the stuff in Tetsuo The Iron man.
> Hell some rich guys PAY to have the stuff in Tetsuo happen to them.

I agree. Thought it was the kind of thing I might have not thought
boring when I was a 20 year old white male. Would make a good double
feature with Pi. By the time you get to be our age, pulling bits of
wire out of your flesh is just part of the daily routine. I ENVY people
who are strongly affected by movies which just made me tap my fingers
impatiently. I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
often I just am. Pisses me off.


Posted by:: Zapanaz
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 2005 22:58:36 -0800

--------
On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:56:06 -0800, nenslo wrote:

>I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
>often I just am. Pisses me off.

I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same week, so I probably
have you beat.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
I made macaroni!
- Meryl Burbank



Posted by:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 02:10:54 -0600

--------
On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 22:58:36 -0800, Zapanaz
wrote:

>On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:56:06 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>
>>I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
>>often I just am. Pisses me off.
>
>I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same week, so I probably
>have you beat.

The village sucked mouldy cadaver balls.


Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:12:37 -0500

--------
In article , HdMrs. Salacia
the Overseer wrote:

> On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 22:58:36 -0800, Zapanaz
> wrote:
>
> >On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:56:06 -0800, nenslo wrote:
> >
> >>I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
> >>often I just am. Pisses me off.
> >
> >I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same week, so I probably
> >have you beat.
>
> The village sucked mouldy cadaver balls.

The blind chick was hot in a crazy-redhead-blind-chick kind of way
though. And the monster suits were pretty cool looking. Come on, you
knew going into it that it had William Hurt in it, so how actually
"good" a film COULD it be?

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Posted by:: HdMrs. Salacia the Overseer
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 08:29:37 -0600

--------
On Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:12:37 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:

>In article , HdMrs. Salacia
>the Overseer wrote:
>
>> On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 22:58:36 -0800, Zapanaz
>> wrote:
>>
>> >On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:56:06 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>> >
>> >>I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
>> >>often I just am. Pisses me off.
>> >
>> >I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same week, so I probably
>> >have you beat.
>>
>> The village sucked mouldy cadaver balls.
>
>The blind chick was hot in a crazy-redhead-blind-chick kind of way
>though. And the monster suits were pretty cool looking. Come on, you
>knew going into it that it had William Hurt in it, so how actually
>"good" a film COULD it be?

I expected horror and I got a drama. Sour grapes.


Posted by:: Zapanaz
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 07:27:32 -0800

--------
On Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:12:37 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:

>In article , HdMrs. Salacia
>the Overseer wrote:
>
>> On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 22:58:36 -0800, Zapanaz
>> wrote:
>>
>> >On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:56:06 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>> >
>> >>I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
>> >>often I just am. Pisses me off.
>> >
>> >I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same week, so I probably
>> >have you beat.
>>
>> The village sucked mouldy cadaver balls.
>
>The blind chick was hot in a crazy-redhead-blind-chick kind of way
>though. And the monster suits were pretty cool looking. Come on, you
>knew going into it that it had William Hurt in it, so how actually
>"good" a film COULD it be?

Adrien Brody was pretty good as the 'tard too.

Still it just suck suck sucked.

That movie has the dubious distinction of having the worst-acted scene
in movie history; according the the Rev. Zapanaz acadamy awards,
anyway.

There is one scene where William Hurt visits Sigourney Weaver in her
cabin alone. They talk and there is a moment when they want to
embrace and don't (it's been established as a plot point that he won't
touch her, because he lusts after her) and there is this awkward,
wooden moment.

Granted, it is supposed to be an awkward moment. but it is really just
awful. And they are both good actors, you can only blame the
director.

Another thing, that red-haired blind chick -is- very cute, but the
thing is, blind people have different body language. Really, look at
blind people some time. They don't know how they look. The
red-haired chick has a lot of body language that you just don't see on
blind people.

There is one moment in particular where she is flirting with River
Phoenix, and she cocks her head to the side, causing her hair to drape
down in a particularly sexy way.

It's the kind of thing you might see a cute woman do while flirting,
but it doesn't make sense in a blind woman.

OK now I am getting picky.

It's all the little things like that which add up for me.

M Night Shamalyan or however you spell it is a sad case IMO. He made
one really great movie and all of his movies since then have just
totally sucked.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
it's times like this that make me wish for a bucket of urine.



Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 10 Mar 2005 00:13:49 -0800

--------
>I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same >week, so I
probably have you beat.

Good lawd, I hope it was a gunpoint.



Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:12:38 -0500

--------
In article <1110442429.033563.200820@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com>,
Paul Casino wrote:

> >I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same >week, so I
> probably have you beat.
>
> Good lawd, I hope it was a gunpoint.
>

"What the Bleep Do We Know" is more cloying than all the cloyingest
Spielberg movies put together and it's supposed to be a "SCIENCE
DOCUMENTARY."

Until you've seen that one, words like "maudlin," "sophomoric" and
"pretentious" are meaningless.

For me the ultimate vomit-inducing double feature would be "What the
Bleep" with "Waking Life."

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Posted by:: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:12:36 -0500

--------
In article , Zapanaz wrote:

> On Wed, 09 Mar 2005 21:56:06 -0800, nenslo wrote:
>
> >I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
> >often I just am. Pisses me off.
>
> I saw "The Terminal" and "The Village" in the same week, so I probably
> have you beat.

I thought "The Village" was okay. To me it seemed like the
highest-budget student film ever made. I bet he wrote the script in
hugh school after reading "The Lottery" and other allegorical "heavy"
symbolic short stories in English class. Reason I say that, I have a
kinda sorta similar script that I wrote in high school under those
conditions.

I had not seen any of that guy's movies and I recently saw several at
once. I thought "Signs" sucked completely and thoroughly. I thought
"Unbreakable" was okay, though, not a bad take on "what if there WAS a
superhero?" Awkward but okay.

Better than any scripted dramatic feature films I've made lately.
Hmmph. I have been watching movies at such a rate that it's bugging me
that I'm only doing half assed psychedelic animation and SubGenius
documentaries. For about 10 years I was too busy with the Church and at
least three real lives to be able to watch many movie, and now I'm
ctching up by watching a movie every two nights, or two movies per day
on days that Wei is home.

Yesterday we saw "Pitch Black" (EXCELLENT monster movie! COOOL
monsters!) and the first half of "Amelie," which is knocking my socks
off. Last scene I remember before we went to bed was typical of the
imaginative attention to detail of this director. First there's some
business inside a trolley or above-ground subway train -- the camera is
shaking because they're in a train and it's shaking.

Then as the scene ends there's a very short shot from OUTSIDE the
train, panning with the train as it zips by. THE CAMERA IS STILL
SHAKING in this exterior shot of the train.

That tickled me.

That movie is so FRENCH I thought for a minute I was watching the
beginning of "Team America."

I just copped "About Schmidt-DVD-Not-My-Rip" and "Lemony
Snicket-DVD-SCR." The Lemony Snicket "screener" has time-code in the
bottom of the screen!

Princess Wei is watching "The Iron Giant" downstairs and I'm supposed
to be finishing up a Week-Behind of Slack and Website.

--
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
(4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected, Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB


Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 07:44:54 -0700

--------
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> Yesterday we saw "Pitch Black" (EXCELLENT monster movie!
> COOOL monsters!)

I highly recommend seeing its sequel The Riddick Chronicles,
which might give you a few pointers about the future of the
Church.

Actually, I think TRC shows what the CotSG would become if
I was in charge. The ending is especially good.

--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/


Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 12 Mar 2005 03:04:24 GMT

--------
In article <4231AEE6.754D@succeeds.com>,
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> >
> > Yesterday we saw "Pitch Black" (EXCELLENT monster movie!
> > COOOL monsters!)
>
> I highly recommend seeing its sequel The Riddick Chronicles,
> which might give you a few pointers about the future of the
> Church.
> Actually, I think TRC shows what the CotSG would become if
> I was in charge. The ending is especially good.

I thought it was a grinding, wrenching piece of nihilistic, wannabe
S&M/neo-Nazi shit that did the great "Pitch Black" a real disservice.
But what the fuck do I know, I dug "The Incredibles."

--

HellPope Huey
Step outside the Box;
I mean, its a catbox, fer chrissakes

Possibly the only dismaying aspect of excellence
is that it makes living in a world of mediocrity
an ongoing prospect of a living Hell.
- Harlan Ellison

"Diaper fee for chimp brides."
- "The Simpsons"


Posted by:: "nu-monet v7.0"
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 20:25:06 -0700

--------
HellPope Huey wrote:
>
> In article <4231AEE6.754D@succeeds.com>,
> "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> > Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> > >
> > > Yesterday we saw "Pitch Black" (EXCELLENT monster movie!
> > > COOOL monsters!)
> >
> > I highly recommend seeing its sequel The Riddick Chronicles,
> > which might give you a few pointers about the future of the
> > Church.
> > Actually, I think TRC shows what the CotSG would become if
> > I was in charge. The ending is especially good.
>
> I thought it was a grinding, wrenching piece of nihilistic,
> wannabe S&M/neo-Nazi shit that did the great "Pitch Black" a
> real disservice.
>

Do you mean TRC or the CotSG?


--
Be Sure To Visit the 'SubGenius Reverend' Blog:
http://slackoff.blogspot.com/
***********
The Church of the SubGenius, a grinding, wrenching
piece of nihilistic, wannabe S&M/neo-Nazi shit.
-- Hellpope Huey


Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 12 Mar 2005 04:24:40 GMT

--------
In article <42326112.2259@succeeds.com>,
"nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> HellPope Huey wrote:
> >
> > In article <4231AEE6.754D@succeeds.com>,
> > "nu-monet v7.0" wrote:
> > > Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Yesterday we saw "Pitch Black" (EXCELLENT monster movie!
> > > > COOOL monsters!)
> > >
> > > I highly recommend seeing its sequel The Riddick Chronicles,
> > > which might give you a few pointers about the future of the
> > > Church.

> > > Actually, I think TRC shows what the CotSG would become if
> > > I was in charge. The ending is especially good.
> >
> > I thought it was a grinding, wrenching piece of nihilistic,
> > wannabe S&M/neo-Nazi shit that did the great "Pitch Black" a
> > real disservice.
> >
> Do you mean TRC or the CotSG?

YES.

--

HellPope Huey
Step outside the Box;
I mean, its a catbox, fer chrissakes

Possibly the only dismaying aspect of excellence
is that it makes living in a world of mediocrity
an ongoing prospect of a living Hell.
- Harlan Ellison

"Diaper fee for chimp brides."
- "The Simpsons"


Posted by:: Zapanaz
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 07:31:25 -0800

--------
On Fri, 11 Mar 2005 09:12:36 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
wrote:

>I had not seen any of that guy's movies and I recently saw several at
>once. I thought "Signs" sucked completely and thoroughly. I thought
>"Unbreakable" was okay, though, not a bad take on "what if there WAS a
>superhero?" Awkward but okay.
>

I was so pissed at how bad Signs was I wanted to kick my TV's ass.


>Yesterday we saw "Pitch Black" (EXCELLENT monster movie! COOOL
>monsters!) and the first half of "Amelie," which is knocking my socks
>off. Last scene I remember before we went to bed was typical of the
>imaginative attention to detail of this director. First there's some
>business inside a trolley or above-ground subway train -- the camera is
>shaking because they're in a train and it's shaking.

Amelie blew my mind. I expected to hate it ... the ultimate chick
flick, it looked like ... I have gotten in the habit though of always
looking up movies on the IMDB first, and if they are rated good there,
I will give them a try. I thought Amelie was awesome. Hilariously
funny.

Uh oh I think that will officially blow my studly manly image.

--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
"The ministry of communication is duty-bound to make the use of the
Internet impossible." - Taliban leader Mullah Mohammad Omar



Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 12 Mar 2005 03:15:41 GMT

--------
In article ,
Zapanaz wrote:

> Uh oh I think that will officially blow my studly manly image.

I think the word "blow" was ill-advised there. Now everyone will think
you are a raging queen like Sterno.

Shaymalan writes TEAR-JERKER MELODRAMAS with interesting twists. He's
not Kubrick or Kurosawa and he doesn't pretend to be; he's a populist
critter. I LIKED "Signs" for its weird flow and an actual alien as part
of the payoff, rather than just shadows and hollering by TV newspeople.
Its what in popular books would be called a "bodice-ripper." Hell with a
slight tip further, it could have been a comedy.

"The Village" tipped its hand early on and took far too long to get to
the payoff. Not a bad film and nicely framed, but not the punch I had
hoped for.

If you take him on his own terms, the guy is a welcome fresh spot in a
world of cookie-cutter plots. Flawed, sure, but still quite good.

--

HellPope Huey
Step outside the Box;
I mean, its a catbox, fer chrissakes

Possibly the only dismaying aspect of excellence
is that it makes living in a world of mediocrity
an ongoing prospect of a living Hell.
- Harlan Ellison

"Diaper fee for chimp brides."
- "The Simpsons"


Posted by:: nenslo
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 22:22:20 -0800

--------
"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> Yesterday we saw "Pitch Black" (EXCELLENT monster movie! COOOL
> monsters!)

Yes, a real tidy "running the gauntlet" movie.

>
> Princess Wei is watching "The Iron Giant" downstairs
>

The Iron Giant really surprised me by not sucking AT ALL, and even Mrs.
N liked it.


Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Sat, 12 Mar 2005 17:35:25 GMT

--------
In article <42328A9B.6081D0BE@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

> The Iron Giant really surprised me by not sucking AT ALL, and even Mrs.
> N liked it.

ALL of you crusty bastards have a soft spot inside. It just takes a
chainsaw and a flask of Everclear to reach it.

--

HellPope Huey
Former keyboardist for Bleeding Gums Murphy

Inside your head,
there's a record playing,
saying hold on
- Tom Waits, "Hold On"

"A monkey with a gun
would make a great TV show."
- "That 70s Show"


Posted by:: HellPope Huey
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 19:23:28 GMT

--------
In article <422FE175.6B8E56C4@yahoox.com>, nenslo
wrote:

>>>> By the time you get to be our age, pulling bits of
> wire out of your flesh is just part of the daily routine. I ENVY people
> who are strongly affected by movies which just made me tap my fingers
> impatiently. I don't ever want to be bored or irritated by a movie but
> often I just am. Pisses me off.

Then you are a prime candidate to rent "The Chronicles of Riddick." Its
a beastly-grim, grinding leather-universe piece of sci-fi that's such a
big turd, it could have been labeled as a country if Enron execs had not
eaten most of it. I think alt.tasteless got the rest.

--

HellPope Huey
Does this newsgroup make my head look fat?

We believe in the perseverance of the saints,
but many are not saints
and therefore do not persevere.
- C.H. Spurgeon

[Worf] You are attempting to manufacture triumph
where none exists.
[Quark] I'd say he succeeded.
[Bashir] To manufactured triumph.
[O'Brien] Manufactured triumph: hear, hear!
- "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine"


Posted by:: "Paul Casino"
Date: 9 Mar 2005 03:59:18 -0800

--------
Got you all beat.

TETSUEO THE IRON MAN is the most cuffed up film in the history of
cinema. We found it at our local Hollywood Video in the foreign films
section. It's about a Japannese loser that very slowly and painfully
becomes a robot for seemingly no apparent reason.

Midway through this black and white horror, (it was originally in
color, but turned B&W for being too graphic, a la the "kill everyone"
scene in Kill Bill.) he gets a hooker, and right in the middle of the
sex, his penis turns into a gigantic drill and the obvious follows. It
had three 20 year old white males unable to turn the lights out in the
room for almost two days straight. Absolutely mind destroying.